‘Member a few months ago when a few gossip reported that the girls of Teen Mom get paid around $50,000 a season to appear on the show? The Ashley was a little surprised by how much they were supposedly making but felt that it was a justified salary for having their private moments taped.

Yeah. Well. Those sites were wrong. Waaaay wrong!

AMBO set the record straight when she appeared before an Indiana judge a few days ago. When the judge asked her what her profession was, she replied “television personality.” (I guess Drunken-baby-daddy-beater doesn’t qualify as an actual profession!)

The judge then asked her what her salary was. Her lawyer objected, but the judge overruled him. (I’ll bet the judge is a Teen Mom fan too! He probably was dying to know how much money it takes to keep up AMBO’s orange-a-riffic tan!)

AMBO reported her salary is (get ready to hold your lunch in) $280,000! DOLLARS! Holy freaking cow crap! Apparently she is paid $140,000 in a six-month contract with MTV, making her annual salary $280,000!!!!!!

According to a reporter from the local newspaper who was in the courtroom, it was also revealed during this court hearing that AMBO would return to jail if she had any contact whatsoever with former fiancé and punching bag, Gary. Apparently AMBO sobbed when she heard this. (Why, AMBO? Are you sad that you’ll have to turn to punching walls or small children to get your anger out now?)

Here’s the really fucked up part: Gary attended AMBO’s hearing and was also very upset by the ruling, even asking the judge how long the ruling would last! According to the article, the judge warned Gary that even if he encouraged Amber to contact him, she would suffer the consequences of breaking the order.

Gary! Let’s have a talk! Grow some freaking balls! I know they’re under there somewhere. Take your baby and get the hell away from this angry excuse for a person.

But back to the salary—if the Teen Moms make this much money, why are they always whining about being broke!? Hopefully MTV has been smart enough to set aside a trust for the kids whose lives are being broadcasted to America unwillingly. I see nothing wrong with it, but they should eventually reap the benefits from appearing on the show too. God knows AMBO will spend all of Leah’s profits on Lee Press-on Nails and cheap vodka if MTV doesn’t do something!!

According to this recent article, AMBO has been spending tons of money on her broke-ass new boyfriend, even paying his rent and buying a car for him to drive.

Can I go back in my time machine and become 16 again and get pregnant and go on MTV? Lord knows that’s the only way I’m ever going to make $280,000 a year!!

PS: If you read the story from the Indiana newspaper, be sure to read the comments that people left for the story. My personal favorite was from “pete”:

pete wrote:

“She’s pretty hot. I’d let her smack me around”

Obviously, “pete” must be a masochistic blind man with a fondness for Oompa Loompas. But his comment is still really funny!