Posts in category America’s Next Top Model

Tyra Banks Tells ‘Top Model’ Co-Stars: ‘You’re Fired!’

Apr20
2012 3 Comments Written by The Ashley

It's hard to "smize" after you just got fired...

Tyra Banks slipped a little something extra into the “Tyra Mail” she sent to longtime America’s Next Top Model stars Jay Manuel, J. Alexander and Nigel Barker recently– a pink slip!

The three men have been staples on the show since it began in 2003. (Believe it or not the show is on its 18th season! The Ashley stopped watching somewhere around 2008. One can only take so much “Tyra Mail!” before hitting themselves in the face with a frying pan for watching this crap.)

Anyway, according to the New York Post, Nigel and the two Jays were informed yesterday morning that their contracts for the show would not be renewed.

A show insider told The Post that the trio go the boot due to a “production decision” and that there are “major changes planned for [season] 19.”

What? Is Tyra going to stop talking about herself long enough to make the show actually tolerable to watch? Now that would be a major change! READ MORE »

Posted in America's Next Top Model - Tagged America's Next Top Model, ANTM, Firings, J. Alexander, Jay Manuel, Nigel Barker, Tyra Banks

‘Top Model’ is Rigged, Says Former Judge

Dec07
2011 1 Comment Written by The Ashley

Former America’s Next Top Model judge Janice Dickinson has something in common with The Ashley. We both can’t stand Tyra Banks. The Ashley used to be a die-hard fan of this show. (I even own some of the DVDs of the early seasons, which is completely embarrassing, I know.) These days, the only reason I watch an episode is to get a good chuckle at Tyra’s horrific hairdos and narcissistic attitude. (I’m sorry, but anybody that names the mail on her show after herself needs to go! Take your ‘Tyra Mail’ and get out of here!)

Janice, on the other hand, has good reason to dislike Tyra. As devoted ‘Top Model’ fans may remember, Janice was a judge on the show from 2003-2008, when she abruptly left after getting in a bitter fued with Tyra.

Never one to remain silent, Janice decided to spill the beans during a recent interview and reveal why she really left Tyra Land.

“I experienced being on that show being conned, thinking I was actually helping judge a TV franchise and that my say actually had any input, but it really didn’t” she said in the clip. “Covergirl [Cosmetics] are the people that choose the [winning] model, not any of the judges, not what Tyra says. It’s who Covergirl thinks should win each season.”

“People don’t know that,” she continued. “When I found out, I split! [Tyra] makes a lot of money per year hawking that franchise worldwide but in essence, in every country, it’s Covergirl that chooses the winner.” READ MORE »

Posted in America's Next Top Model - Tagged America's Next Top Model, Janice Dickinson, Tyra Banks

This Week in Bad Reality TV Hair

Sep24
2011 1 Comment Written by The Ashley

This week’s reality TV show premieres brought us new shows, as well as old returning shows, to watch and make fun of accordingly. For some reason, reality TV stars also chose this week to debut their creeptastic new hairdos. The Ashley enjoys making fun of bad hair almost as much as she enjoys making fun of bad tattoos!

Former Bachelorette Ashley Herbert debuted this new black & banged ‘do this week. Anyone else think it looks like one of those bad Cleopatra wigs you get at the Wal-Mart at Halloween time? Or is it just me?

Oh, Ozzie, your locks were looking especially lucious this week on Survivor. From the Fabio-esque curls to the flirty flip at the top, the female viewers are certainly dying to run their fingers through that mop!

OK…I give up…what the hell died on Tyra Banks‘ head? I will literally see the photo at left in my nightmares. The scraggily hair, the choppy bangs (which kind of look like the creepy bangs that Farrah from Teen Mom has been sporting this season) and bad makeup are all signs that Tyra, along with America’s Next Top Model, need to be put to rest and get out of our TVs!

Speaking of band ‘Top Model’ hair, what the hell happened to Ashlee Simpson‘s mop? She was sporting this bleached-to-an-inch-of-its-life messy pixie cut when she guest starred on ‘Top Model’ this week. I think she was going for a Twiggy/Janet Leigh look but she actually ended up looking for like Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell. Or Dennis the Menace. Not.Cute.At.All. (And don’t even get me started on that leopard bow tie!)

Posted in America's Next Top Model, Bachelorette, Survivor - Tagged America's Next Top Model, Ashlee Simpson, Ashley Herbert, Bachelorette, Bad Hair, Survivor, Survivor Ozzy, Tyra Banks

Premiere Dates For All Your Favorite Reality Shows!

Sep02
2011 Leave a Comment Written by The Ashley

Fall is upon us which means two things: The Ashley gets to bust out her amazing collection of winter coats and….all of her favorite reality TV shows are starting again! Although Teen Mom and Bachelor Pad have kept The Ashley entertained over the summer, she can’t wait to see the new seasons of all of the other reality shows!

Here’s The Ashley’s handy-dandy list of reality TV show premiere dates! They are listed in order of premiere date.

Survivor: South Pacific

Premieres: Wednesday, September 14 at 8pm

Channel: CBS

For more information on the new cast, click here!

America’s Next Top Model: All-Stars

Premieres: Wednesday, September 14 at 9pm

Channel: The CW

Posted in Amazing Race, America's Next Top Model, Biggest Loser, Dancing with the Stars, Survivor - Tagged Amazing Race, America's Next Top Model, Biggest Loser, Real World, Real World San Diego, Shark Tank, Survivor South Pacific, X-Factor

In Honor of “420”: The Top Reality Show Stoners

Apr20
2011 1 Comment Written by The Ashley

The Ashley does not smoke the ganja (she’s a vodka girl, sorry.) However, she realizes that a lot of people do, and that these people get all wet in the pants when April 20 rolls around (pun intended), because it’s kind of the national stoner holiday.

Since today is “420,” The Ashley brings you this list of reality TV show stars that enjoy the wacky tobaccy more than occasionally.

Warning: this list has no redeeming value.

1) Jenelle Evans & “Reefer” Kieffer Delp (Teen Mom2)

Who better to top this list than Jenelle and her moocher creepy boyfriend, “Reefer” Kieffer? Their marijuana use inspired one of the best moments of this season of “Teen Mom2,” when Jenelle’s mom (the fabulous Barbara Evans) catches the stoned duo smoking pot on her front porch. Barbara storms out onto the porch screaming (in her beautiful, creepy accent), “HIGH. HIGH. Yah both high!” Jenelle and Reefer Kieffer frequently discuss pot-smoking on the show. Their overall dedication to the sport of pot-smoking and Kieffer’s constant case of the munchies has earned them the top spot on this list.

2) Adrienne Curry (America’s Next Top Model, Surreal Life, My Fair Brady)

Tyra made me do it!

We first met Adrienne on ANTM when she won the very first “Top Model” prize. She’s frequently talked (and Twittered) about her support of legalizing marijuana. While on the “Surreal Life,” she met her future husband, former Brady Buncher Christopher Knight which led to the creation of the VH1 the show “My Fair Brady,” which The Ashley watched obsessively. Adrienne used to do a lot of hard drugs back before ANTM, but said in a recent interview that “Top Model” actually helped her turn her life around. You can read that interview here.

3) Flavor Flav (Flavor of Love)

He’s been arrested for possession multiple times, but if you need an explanation of why Flavor Flav is on this list, um, just watch one of his horrible reality shows. (Or the Roast of Flavor Flav, which is actually really hysterical. You can watch it here.)

4) Lil’ John (Celebrity Apprentice)

I love Lil’ John on “Celebrity Apprentice.” He’s so funny on that show that I forget what he’s actually famous for. Even my mother likes him. Anyway, although he’s kind of kept the whole “I (Heart) Marijuana” thing out of his time on the show, he is known for being one of the biggest supporters of the wakey bakey. He wrote a pot anthem, for goodness sakes. (It’s called “The Weedman,” just FYI, if you need an anthem for today.)

5) Ozzy Osbourne (The Osbournes)

"I have the munchies!"

Um…Ozzy was high the entire time he filmed “The Osbournes” back in the early 2000s. He even admits it. If you watched the show, this should come as no surprise! In his earlier career, he wrote the pot anthem “Sweet Leaf.” Watching Ozzy grumble and stumble around today should motivate kids never to do drugs. Remember kids, pot is a “gateway” drug—it leads to other things. Smoke pot and you could eventually end up like Ozzy!

Honorable Mention: “Smokey” Jo Rivera (Teen Mom2)

Click here for the story about his run-in with the pot police.

Posted in America's Next Top Model, Other Shows, Teen Mom 2, The Ashley's Random Stuff - Tagged Adrienne Curry, America's Next Top Model, Barbara Evans, Celebrity Apprentice, Druggies, Flavor Flav, Jenelle Evans, Kieffer Delp, Lil John, My Fair Brady, Ozzy Osbourne, Surreal Life, Teen Mom 2, Teen Mom Jenelle, The Osbournes

Reality Bytes: The Week in Review

Dec03
2010 Leave a Comment Written by The Ashley

At any given time, The Ashley has a million different thoughts randomly running through her head after watching the week’s reality shows. She’s decided that she needs a way to spew them all out, therefore “Reality Bytes” is born. Each week on Friday, The Ashley will randomly comment on what happened on all of her favorite shows, in neat little bite-sized packages!

This Week in Reality TV:

The Biggest Loser:

She must be eating her Lucky Charms because 'Teflon Liz' has somehow survived another week!

The Ashley regularly watches this show but rarely comments on it. Many readers ask her why and the answer is simple: it’s not nice to make fun of people who are actively trying to change their lives. The Ashley is mean but not that mean! So rarely does there come a time that she can write about The Biggest Loser without feeling awful about herself for making fun of people who are in sad situations.

That being sad, The Ashley needs to say: Elizabeth Yellow Shirt needs.to.go. How the hell has she managed to survive in the show this long. This week, we saw the demise of two of the strongest competitors: Brendan and Mark. Despite the double-elimination “Teflon Liz” managed to squeak through– AGAIN! She’s only lost 40 pounds or so the entire three months that she was at the ranch; that’s not that much. That Mark guy’s cousin lost more than twice that amount working out at home! Having her at the finale would just be ridiculous and an insult to the people on the show that have lost a lot of weight. Just sayin’…..

America’s Next Top Model:

"I win!'

In other yawn-worthy news, ANTM crowned its next “Top Model” this week. In a laugh-inducing serious moment on the finale, Tyra told the final two, Chelsea and Anne, “Do you understand how serious this is? This is Top Model – elevated.” LOL! Oh, Tyra, you’re so silly. You still think that people care about your show.

Anyway, they chose Anne, the super tall girl with the freakishly small waist. Although they gave her a semi-decent “Tyra” makeover at the beginning of the season, she still kind of creeped me out. She said she was teased a lot as a kid, so Tyra responded: “They’re going to look back and be like, I should have been so nice to that girl.”

Um, no…they’re going to say exactly what the rest of America said “How the hell did that chick win America’s Next Top Model?” And then they’ll forget about her in three minutes, just like they did with almost every other winner of that show. (Um, whatever happened to Naima, Nicole or Danielle, to name a few? Probably working in some K-mart store in the Midwest…)

New Shows!

You can see part of this chick's hideous tattoo peaking out of her top!

This week, The Ashley started watching two new shows: Downsized and Baby High! It’s rare that a reality show keeps The Ashley’s interest for more than a few episodes, but these shows have the potential to be TiVo-worthy!!
“Baby High” follows teenage moms who attend a special school in Louisville, Kentucky, that caters to girls who have had babies. It’s really fascinating, as it’s full of baby-daddy drama (love it!) One chick recently got a ginormous, hideous tattoo of her baby-daddy’s name (who she is not officially with, naturally). It goes all the way across her breastbone! After she gets this monstrosity on her body she ponders “Did I make a mistake getting a guy’s name on me?” No way…why would you get that idea? Just because you have the name of some ghetto loser, who is probably screwing your best friend, scrawled across your chest, why would that be a problem?!

This show is hard to catch, but it usually follows 16 & Pregnant or Teen Mom, so be on the lookout for it!

“Downsized” has also caught The Ashley’s attention. It follows a Brady Bunch-like family that is super in debt. They have about a thousand kids (not Duggar style, they are a conjoined family!) The Ashley is really enjoying this one, although it does make her feel awful anytime she spends a dollar!!!!

Posted in America's Next Top Model, Biggest Loser, Other Shows - Tagged Biggest Loser

Hide Your Daughters! Hide Your Male Models! They’re Suing Everybody Tyra Touches!

Nov10
2010 Leave a Comment Written by The Ashley

"Girl, I didn't your mama would be mad!"

Yes, I know. Another Antoine Dodson reference. The Ashley swears she’s going to stop soon. She can’t help it. She’d addicted to that loveable, bandana-headed hooligan!!!

Hide Yo Tyra Mail!

Anyways, onward with the story.

So apparently if you know (or are) Tyra Banks, you’re probably going to get sued within the next month or so.

It seems that there’s a whole lot of lawsuit happening all around Tyra [Mail.] First, a lawsuit was filed against her by the mother of a girl who appeared on her talk show.

The 15-year-old girl appeared on a show called “I’m a Sex Addict” (as you do) without her mother’s knowledge or consent. apparently the girl answered an open call put out by the Tyra Show and then appeared on the TV show.

Says this story found on Reuters:

In November [2009], Washington is said to have flown unaccompanied to New York, was picked up in a limousine and put up in a hotel. Later, she claims, she appeared on the show, which was promoted as featuring a “15-year-old sex addict.” She says she was also paid for her appearance.

McClendon, who says she is the biological mother and legal guardian of Washington, didn’t like this one bit.

“This show was undoubtedly watched by sexual deviants, perverts and pedophiles alike,” the mother argues the complaint.

LOL. I wouldn’t worry that the Tyra Show is watched by perverts and pedophiles. More like unemployed 20-somethings.

But anyway….did anybody on the production team of the Tyra Show think this was a bit risky, taking an underage girl across state lines to appear on a national TV show about sex, sans mother or guardian?!! WTF?! Tyra, you deserve to be sued.

Bet she didn’t like finding that summons in her “Tyra Mail!”

Now Tyra’s bad luck is spreading to her friends.

"Is that your leg? I thought it was mine...."

Her pal (and former fellow judge on America’s Next Top Model) Nole Marin is now being sued by a male model who claims Nole (who has always reminded me of Humpty-Dumpty) tried to put the moves on him and get him on the casting couch!

The New York Daily news reports that Nicholas Hamman-Howe is accusing Nole Marin of making sexual remarks about him and promising to make him a star in exchange for sex. Hamman-Howe met Marin in 2007. After this meeting, Hamman-Howe alleges that he was subjected to come-ons and fondling.

The suit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court reveals that Hamman-Howe was “shocked and repulsed and pushed Nole Marin away and shouted, ‘This is not what I want to do!’” Hammon-Howe claims that Marin replied to him, “It’s a very sexual industry and modeling is about who you know and what they’ll do for you.”

The suit also reveals that Hamman-Howe agreed to another meeting with Marin because he was promised $120,000 to appear in an Armani campaign. Hamman-Howe claims he found himself alone in Marin’s apartment, without any photographers, crew or Armani representatives. During this time, Marin allegedly reached into Hamman-Howe’s underwear.

Of course, Nole is denying these claims. His attorney released this statement:

“The complaint is rife with so many false allegations – from the mundane to the sensational, that Mr. Hamman-Howe’s attorneys should be ashamed. Mr. Nole is an icon of the fashion industry who will not be intimidated by Mr. Hamman-Howe’s desperate fiction, and will defend these claims vigorously.”

The Ashley is not sure what to think; however, I do find it odd that the model went back to this guy’s apartment even after he was supposedly sexually harrassed and groped. Then, he waits THREE years to sue Nole? Maybe he lost his job and needed some money and had been keeping their little escapade in his back pocket in case he needed it?

Not trying to blame the victim, just wondering if there is, in fact, a victim here. Somebody’s lying…either Nole or Mr. Model.

So what do you think? Does Tyra [Mail] deserve to get sued? Did Nole have his hand in someone’s Fruit of the Looms?

The Ashley doesn’t know but she thinks that Jay Manuel and J. Alexander would be best to avoid Tyra so they don’t get sued for something too!!

Posted in America's Next Top Model - Tagged America's Next Top Model, ANTM, Breaking the Law, Lawsuits, Models, Nole Marin, Sex & Stuff, Tyra Banks

Australia’s Next Top Model Host Announces the Wrong Winner! Best.Video.Ever.

Sep28
2010 1 Comment Written by The Ashley

I must be a mind reader because I can totally hear her thoughts: "Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!"

Tyra Banks may be super annoying and egotistical, but at least girlfriend can get the names of her contestants right!

In what has to be one of the most f’d up endings of a reality show of all time, the host of Australia’s Next Top Model, a down under-style knock-off of America’s Next Top Model, announced the wrong name as the winner of the show!
The final two contestants are standing on stage during the live finale and when the dipshit host, Sarah Murdoch, announces that 19-year-old Kelsey has won a plethora of amazing prizes, including a spread in Harper’s Bazaar Australia, a $25,000 contract with Levi’s, a new car and a contract with a modeling agency. (Just a side note: Tyra needs to step it up in the prize department! Her winners on the American version of the show usually receive a crappy spread in Seventeen Magazine and a contract with Cover Girl. How about hooking your gals up with a Volvo? Just saying! The Aussies are killing it as far as winner’s loot!)

Anyway, so they say that Kelsey is the winner and everyone is celebrating (except, of course, for the runner-up, Amanda, who is trying her best to look happy but secretly wants to claw the other girl’s extensions out of her head!)

About two minutes later, the host gets a panicked look on her face when she hears through her earpiece that she’s actually flubbed the whole thing and announced the wrong winner!! Amanda is the actual winner. O—M—G!

Ryan Seacrest twittered that this is his worst nightmare!

You have to watch the video to get the full effect!!!!!

Posted in America's Next Top Model, Other Shows - Tagged America's Next Top Model, Australia, Foreign Reality Shows, Stupid People on Reality TV, Tyra Banks

Bring on the Bad Hair! It’s Makeover Day on America’s Next Top Model!

Sep21
2010 1 Comment Written by The Ashley

"This won't hurt a bit...except for the excruciating pain you'll feel when all that bleach starts to burn your scalp!"

If any crappy reality show has gone down-hill (I mean, further down-hill) in the past few seasons, it’s America’s Next Top Model. What was once an edgy and fun show has now become a weekly, hour-long homage to Tyra Banks’ former modeling career. Seriously, must we look at a modeling photo of Tyra before and after every commercial break? And before the girls do a shoot? And after the girls do a shoot? And during judging? And all over the walls of the house? Good Lord!

This photo pretty much sums up 'makeover' day perfectly: horrified girl with bad hair, the Jays laughing at what they did to her, and the girl in the background silently smirking at how bad her competition looks. Love it!

Anyway, ANTM used to be one of The Ashley’s all-time favorite shows. (I am even the proud owner of the first season on DVD! I think I am the only person on the planet other than Tyra Banks that can say that.) But for the last five seasons, the show has really taken a nose dive, causing The Ashley to use the time she formerly devoted to the watching this crapfest to watch other shows.

One episode, however, stands above all of the rest— makeover week! This episode contains everything that gets The Ashley excited: crying girls, bad hair and makeup and people having to pretend they like their ‘new look’ so they don’t anger the TyMonster and get kicked off. (“Thanks, Tyra. I was just telling my friends that if given the choice to look like a celebrity, I would choose to look like Larry from The Three Stooges. Thanks for making my dream come true with your crap-tastic makeover.”)

Another satisfied customer of the Tyra makeover factory!

Each season, the girls receive these makeovers in attempt to make them look more “high-fashion.” However, most of them end up looking like they plunked a bad Halloween wig on their heads. Tyra may have been a great model, but she sure sucks at giving makeovers. She totally disregards face shape, skin tone and the girl’s personality when choosing their new looks, causing them to look like a not-even-close-to-hot mess!

The girls that end up looking good are the ones that Tyra more or less leaves alone. However, each season several girls are sacrificed for shock value; their hair shaved off, bleached to the brink of destruction, or cut to resemble strange tropical birds’ feathers.

Sometimes I think Tyra simply enjoys making pretty girls look bad, in an effort to satisfy her own enormous ego. Oftentimes she even goes so far as to make FUN of the girls whose hair she brutalized. For instance, she called Lisa from Cycle 9 a “little poodle” after she gave her a short, cropped hair cut that made her curly hair resemble a poodle’s coat (or pubic hair!)

Tyra can be thanked for these train wreck makeovers from past seasons:

[slideshow]

Posted in America's Next Top Model - Tagged America's Next Top Model, Bad Hair, Hair and Makeup, Makeovers, Tyra Banks

Don't Forget to Share…the Roundup With Your Friends!

Sep17
2010 Leave a Comment Written by The Ashley

It's good to share stuff with your friends....or frien-emies!"

The Ashley has made it easier than ever before to share your favorite Roundup posts with all of your pals!

If you take a look at the bottom of each Roundup post, there are now buttons for sharing! You can easily email any post you want to your friends, or tweet it over on your Twitter page! (Don’t forget to follow The Ashley’s Reality Roundup on Twitter! We need more followers so we don’t look pathetic!)

"Would anyone like for me to share a song? They saaaay....love don't come easy...."

You can also “like” a post on Facebook with the touch of a button!

Don’t forget to tell your friends about the Roundup. They can subscribe by typing in their email address in the “Subscribe” box in the righthand column.

It’s totally easily! Your mom always told you it’s good to share, so do it!

Posted in America's Next Top Model, The Ashley's Random Stuff - Tagged America's Next Top Model, Bachelor Pad Wes, Facebook, The Ashley, The Ashley's Reality Roundup, Twitter