"Is it OK if I moan in pain until we come back from commercial break?"

If you were one of the over 11 million people that watched American Idol last night, you may be wondering 1) why the hell America eliminated the best singer in the competition, Joshua Ledet (more on that later… The Ashley is mad!) and 2) why Phillip Phillips wasn’t forced to participate in the cheesy-but-fantastic Ford commercial this week.

Phillip was nowhere to be found in this week’s silent-movie-themed Ford product pitch video. (The Ashley has nothing better to do than notice things like that.) Of course, she had to sleuth it out to see why ol’ Philly is allowed to be exempt from the horrible hi-jinks that these videos usually entail.

The answer? He’s practically dying. According to a story posted on TMZ this morning, Phillip is in desperate need of kidney surgery! He’s been suffering from severe kidney problems all season long, even having to have a temporary procedure to hold him off until he can have surgery. (He refuses to quit the competition.)

Make.This.Happen.

“Phillip has also missed some of the field productions that are shot for the show — including the Ford commercials,” the article says. “Our ‘Idol’ sources tell us they felt that making him go on location for these shoots were just too taxing.”

Um…can’t they hire Heejun Han to dress up like Phil and take his place in the Ford shoots?

The TMZ story says that Phillip’s condition has gotten progressively worse during ‘Idol.’ In fact, according to the article, “Phillip went back home to Georgia last Saturday … his family doctor spent almost the entire stay by his side and was alarmed by what he saw — Phillip wasn’t eating and looked horrible.”

Poor Phil! Although he’s facing major surgery, there are a few positive things here: he will definitely win ‘American Idol’ next week (three words: in.the.bag) and he has been able to worm out of participating in the Ford video shoots, in addition to some of the various other incredibly cheesy promotional crap they make these kids do.

There really is a silver lining in every cloud!

(Photo: FOX, Twitter)

UPDATED 5/17/12: The stats now include the girls featured on Season 4 of the show.

The Ashley has done some research to figure out some statistics regarding the girls who have appeared on the show 16 & Pregnant. She decided to take on this project because she thinks it will be helpful to fans of the show and, well, because she has no life. This is Part 1 of The Ashley’s Official ’16 & Pregnant’ Research Project. (To see Part 2, click here!)

Here’s everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the girls who have appeared on 16 & Pregnant. (If you’re trying to get cast for a future season, maybe this research will tell you if you have what it takes to make it on the show….that was a joke.)

The Girls of 16 & Pregnant: Official Research Statistics:

*There have been 47 girls featured on ’16 & Pregnant.’

Location:

*More than half of the girls that were cast for the show are from Southern states. Very few are from the Western states. (For research purposes, ‘Southern’ states include anything south of West Virginia and east of Texas.)

• Southern States: 59%
• Midwestern States: 19%
• Western States: 9%
• Northern States: 13%

*The state that was home to the most ’16 & Pregnant’ girls was Texas, with 8 girls, followed by Florida and Pennsylvania with 4 girls each.

*The city that was home to the most ’16 & Pregnant’ girls was Riverview, Florida. Two of the girls (Markai from Season 2 and Jennifer from Season 3) are from that city.

Babies:

*There have been 49 babies born on ’16 & Pregnant.’ The girls on the show are slightly more likely to have a girl than a boy.

• 51% have been girls (25 babies)
  
• 49% have been boys (24 babies)
  

*There have been 2 sets of twins born on the show.

*The most common baby names featured on the show are Aubrey, Ayden and Noah, with 2 girls naming their babies each of those names (although they are spelled differently.)

*Only 9% of the girls featured on the show have chosen adoption for their children.

*As of May 2012, at least 5 of the girls featured on the show (14%) have gotten pregnant again. (Only confirmed pregnancies have been included. Other girls are rumored to have been pregnant, but it wasn’t confirmed.)

• 1 gave birth (Season 3′s Jordan Ward)
• 2 are currently pregnant (Season 1′s Ebony Rendon and Season 2′s Brooke Smitherman)
• 1 had an abortion (Season 2′s Markai Durham)
• 1 miscarried (Season 2′s Leah Messer)
  

Relationships:

*26% of the girls on the show have married their baby’s father. (9 girls)

• 44% of those marriages have ended in divorce.
• 4 girls have divorced, 5 are still married
  

*Only 47 % (or 22 girls) are currently still with their baby’s father. 53% (or 25 girls) are no longer together with the father of their child.

To find out how many of the girls graduated from high school and went on to college, click here.

Here’s a very cool map of all of the girls’ locations, as well as their babies’ names! To view this awesome map at full size, click here. It was used with permission from its creator, Mara Page.

This is a very bad sign.

It’s Bachelorette time again, kiddies!

Thanks to ABC, my Monday nights once again have meaning and purpose. With the premiere of Emily Maynard‘s season of ‘The Bachelorette’ I get a brand-new season of crap to make fun of! I’m not even going to pretend like I wasn’t excited  about this season. The Ashley had her fingers crossed that the show’s producers would somehow shell out enough cash convince Emily to do the show.

Anyway, Emily’s “Quest For Love” begins with shots of her and her daughter, Ricki, playing in the park. She straight-out tells us right from the start that she’s looking for a baby-daddy for Ricki. Normally, we don’t hear women say this on television, unless it’s during an episode of ‘The Maury Povich Show’ and Maury’s about to bust out the results of a paternity test! What a treat tonight is going to be!

I want Emily to adopt me! Look at that kid's room!

Of course, we are forced to sit through Emily’s story of heartbreak: fiance died in a plane crash while she was pregnant, yada yada yada. It’s not that I’m heartless (it is really sad), it’s just that we heard this sob story so many times during Brad Womack‘s season of ‘The Bachelor’ that I literally know it by heart. Something tells me that they’ll be harping on that story all season long. Let’s do shots every time they mention it, OK? At least that will help dull the pain of watching this crappy show.

Anyway, after rehashing Emily’s previous “Quest For Love” with Womack, she tells us that she’s ready to “put herself out there again.” (Seriously, is it in the contract that every ‘Bachelorette’ has to say that line?!)

Finally it’s time to meet some of Emily’s suitors. First we meet Kalon. (Seriously? Who names their kids things like that?) I feel bad for Kalon for having such a horrible name, but that pity only lasts a minute or two because I soon realize that he is a douche of monster proportions. He tells us that he 1) has lots of money and 2) he used to be quite the womanizer. He left out the fact that he has a small package, but if you meet someone who says that kind of stuff, that’s just kind of understood.

Next we meet Ryan, a good ol’ Georgian boy who played pro football and trains little kids. (Let’s just marry him off to Emily now and forgo this whole charade, shall we?) We also meet Lerone, the token black guy that will likely make it until the second round or so. She has to keep him through the first cut or everyone will think she’s racist. (Hey, I don’t make the rules!)

I'm sure Emily will enjoy listening to you play your Casio keyboard in your mom's basement.

David is a singer-songwriter who enjoys writing craptastic songs about the girls he likes. For Emily, he composed a special ditty called “Emily.” The words go something like this: “Emily…ohhh, Emily. Emmmmily!” Something tells me that spending more than 15 minutes with David and his music would result in me chewing off my own ears.

Jef (with one “F”) owns a bottled water company and says that people don’t take him seriously. Um..that’s probably because you’re sporting the same hairdo as Duckie from “16 & Candles” and you still ride a skateboard to work. I think I have more of a chance of dating Emily than this guy.

With Rikky tucked into bed (since when do little kids get king-sized luxury beds? Oh yeah, when your Grandpa practically owns NASCAR), it’s time for Emily to head down to meet her suitors. She arrives dripping in sparkles and looking like a princess. It should be illegal for one person to be that pretty.

She meets up with Chris Harrison, who brings up the dead fiance yet again. (SHOTS!) Emily says she doesn’t want to talk about him anymore because she’s ready to move on to having a minivan full of babies with whatever dude she ends up picking. No pressure, guys.

The first limo arrives and the first guy starts to emerge. I can’t help but chant “Please be Womack. Please be Womack.” Unfortunately, the producers didn’t stick ol’ Brad in there to shake things up. Instead, we meet a bunch of goobers armed with cheesy pickup lines and get-noticed gimmicks.

First up is Jackson, a fitness model who gets down on bended knee and recites random poetry. Joe is next. He comes out of the limo sounding like a used car salesman. Chris tells Emily that he prays to God that she’ll give him chance and that he feels “truly blessed” to be here. Well played, Chris! When in doubt, always bust out the Baby Jesus to get the girl to like you!

Without a doubt, the most awkward introduction is Alessandro‘s (one of this season’s Latin lovers!) Because he’s from South America, apparently he thinks that he’s automatically given the go-ahead to paw and put his lips all over Emily’s face. She looks like she wants to vomit and/or call security. I’d go ahead and do both.

Oh, yes. This happened.

Next we meet Stevie, who is a “Party MC” (read: unemployed except for the occasional kid’s birthday party or 50th anniversary celebration). He arrives with boombox in tow and busts out his best Village People moves. Please, Baby Jesus, make it stop…

There’s no end in sight with this parade of goobers. One dude brings a glass slipper and presents it to Emily (“his Cinderella”). Some people may have thought this was sweet. I, however, kept thinking that somewhere in North Carolina a stripper is missing her clear plastic high heel.

The next limo arrives and out pops John, who tells Emily that all his friends call him “Wolf.” Um…no, dude. All your friends call you “douche” behind your back. I’m almost sure of it. Another one of these goons arrives carrying an ostrich egg, which he tells Emily he will care for the same way he will care for her and Ricki. Another guy in this limo emerges, whipping his Fabio hair back and forth.

It's a bad sign when your date shows up smelling like mothballs.

Next we meet Randy, who has decided to dress up as his grandmother for the occasion. No, seriously. Of course, this is in reference to last season of ‘The Bachelor,’ when one girl brought her grandmother to the first rose ceremony. I see what he did there. I also see that he needs to go home. Any guy that dresses up like Mrs. Doubtfire at any point in his life needs to be placed on medical watch.

Finally we meet Alejandro, who just starts speaking Spanish to Emily right away. She, in turn, busts out her 9th grade espanol, telling him “Yo..soy…Emily.” (I’m fairly certain she was trying to figure out how to say “I’m too good for you” in Spanish.)

After all 25 men have arrived, I’m feeling pretty bad for Emily. It’s slim pickings in terms of normal guys. The producers seem to have flooded the room with goons in hopes of creating television drama. I think I’d be giving ol’ Womack a call in the bathroom and begging for another chance if I were her.

Emily greets her suitors, and she’s really playing up the whole Southern belle crap. She’s “y’alling” and “gollying” all over the place. Somebody has been watching way too much “Gone With the Wind” in preparation for her big night.

I'm pretty sure he gave her a picture of his kid that says "Please be my mommy."

The guys are struggling to get Emily to notice them. Egg Boy is creepily stroking his ostrich egg in the corner. Doug has chosen to go the smarter and less-creepy route: he has his 11-year-old son write Emily a letter about how great his father is. Emily practically drops her panties right there. That kid is totally getting a new Xbox for helping his dad get laid by the pretty lady.

Remember douchey Kalon? Yeah, well he chose to arrive via helicopter (as you do). His arrogant attitude and the fact that he keeps telling people he arrived in a helicopter (um, yeah, dude. We saw you. It happened like two minutes ago) are rubbing the other men the wrong way. I think we’ve found this season’s “Courtney!”

Of course, Emily gives the First Impression Rose to Doug, the single dad with the golden letter. Afterwards, it’s time to give some of these goons the ax. The Rose Ceremony starts, and Emily hands roses to a few people I didn’t think had a shot in hell: Egg Boy, Duckie and Kalon all manage to snag one, along with Ari, the race car driver.

Finally, she hands out her last rose, and we say goodbye to a few standouts. For one thing, she cut the black guy. (See! This is why the show is getting sued for racism!) She also cut the fitness model and the guy who has six kids. The rejected suitors are devastated when they find out that they will not have the chance to pickle-tickle Emily in a fantasy suite sometime in the near future.

Here’s to the new season of ‘The Bachelorette!’ Expect lots of exotic locations, man tears and more crappy recaps by The Ashley!

(Photos: ABC; Gif by Buzzfeed)

Bets on how long it takes her to pawn the ring?

Sometimes I like to daydream about the days back in college where I thought I was going to be a serious journalist, setting the world on fire with my in-depth investigation pieces and hard-hitting news stories.

Yeah, right. Who am I kidding? I wanted to be Perez Hilton!

Even so, sometimes it’s hard to believe that I spend my time writing about the on-and-off relationship statuses of MTV reality stars. It may not be worthy of CNN, but we love this crap!

It’s been a big week in the ever-changing love lives of the Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 stars. Since these girls’ relationship statuses change faster than I can type, I figured it would be best to compile all of this crap into one, ridiculous article. To those of you who revel in this crap as much as me, enjoy. To those of you who have better things to do than worry about who Jenelle Evans is dating this week…um…shouldn’t you be reading stories on CNN’s website?

Ok…on with the freak show!

• Let’s start with the big news! ‘Teen Mom 2′ star Jenelle Evans is engaged to her Marine boyfriend-turned-ex-turned-boyfriend again, Gary Head! She announced her big news on the Twitter this morning, posting photos of her ring and letting her fans know that she’s finally found a good guy. (This comes just weeks after she got back with–then dumped–Creepy Kieffer Delp.) She told her Twitter followers, “[the engagement ring] means everything to me he actually takes care of my every need and Jace’s every need.” While The Ashley is thrilled to see that Jenelle has finally ditched ‘The Kieff,’ she is skeptical that she will ever see Gary and Jenelle walk down the aisle. (Of course if we do, it will most likely be featured on a “very special” 90-minute episode of ‘Teen Mom 2.’)
• ‘Teen Mom’ baby-daddy Ryan Edwards broke up–then got back together– with his girlfriend Dalis Connell. This is pretty typical of these two. They have a fight, break up, announce that they’re single over the Twitter, then get back together. There should be a rule that you can’t change your Facebook relationship status or announce a breakup over Twitter until at least 48 hours has passed. Anyway, we will be seeing Dalis on the upcoming fourth season of ‘Teen Mom.’
• Gary Shirley cleared up any misconceptions that fans might have that he and his troubled baby-momma, Amber Portwood, are back together. He told his Twitter followers: “Amber and I are not together. I’m a single feller. We can’t be together I think you guys understand why I just can’t anymore.” (Being that AMBO is currently sitting in a jail cell, I can’t really blame him!)

The Ashley will be sure to update you when someone else gets engaged, arrested, dumped or attacked by a pack of wild boars.

Anyway, Sarah was recently asked to share her story on the Huffington Post‘s Teen blog. In her post, she describes the shock and sadness she felt once her baby-daddy hit the bricks.

“I was with a boy I thought was my best friend — a boy I saw myself spending my whole life with,” Sarah wrote. “He was loving, caring and fun — he was my first everything. When I told him I was pregnant, I was confident he would be there to support me and our baby. Three weeks after our daughter Tinleigh was born, he was gone.

“I felt betrayed, angry and hurt. I’m now a teen mother, and a single mother,” she said. “I love my daughter more than anything in the world, but the reality is that being a mom at 17 is difficult. There are, of course, great moments, but it’s difficult not to wonder what might have been if I’d made different choices in life.”

Sadly, we see a lot of stories like Sarah’s on ’16 & Pregnant.’ In fact, it’s rare that the baby-daddy sticks around at all. (Last week’s girl, Hope, got lucky when she found Ben, a guy that stuck around to care for her and their baby. Hold onto that one, girl!)

“I’m sharing my story tonight on MTV’s ’16 and Pregnant,’ and I hope that other young women will watch it and think about the potential consequences of unprotected sex,” Sarah wrote. “I was like so many other young girls out there — I didn’t think it would happen to me. But it did.”

She finishes her post by giving other girls advice about preventing pregnancy.

“Being a virgin isn’t a bad thing! If someone really loves you, they will understand how you feel about sex and protection,” she wrote.

Um….pretty sure MTV made a mistake by not picking Sarah to be on the upcoming Teen Mom 3 series. She seems like a smart cookie who could help to spread the show’s original message (preventing teen pregnancy), instead of just promoting drama.  (Yes, there’s still one spot open on ‘Teen Mom 3′–click here to see who’s been confirmed–but I know for a fact Sarah is not the fourth girl. Unfortunately.)

(Photo: Twitter)

"Wanna have another one?" "Sure, why not!"

Yet another girl featured on the MTV series, 16 & Pregnant, has announced that she is once again pregnant! Brooke Smitherman-Tarrant, who was featured on Season 2B of the show, has announced her second pregnancy.

Fans of the show will remember Brooke as the race-car-loving girl who moved into a barn (yes…a barn) with her baby-daddy, Cody during her episode. The couple got married right before Brooke gave birth to their son, Brody. Brooke has stayed relatively quiet since her episode aired– no arrests, drug busts or TMZ appearances, as far as The Ashley can tell. She seems to be happily married and just taking care of her kid.

Anyway, Brooke and Cody apparently found a place in their barn for sexy time because Brooke is once again pregnant!

She joins fellow ’16 & Pregnant’ cast members Jordan Ward, Ebony Rendon, and a few others who have gotten pregnant for a second time while in their teens.

“Hey everyone! I just wanted to announce Brody will be a BIG BROTHER in December. Cody and I are very excited to share the news with everyone,” Brooke posted on her Facebook fanpage on Monday.

Of course, Brooke and Cody are married, and not 16 anymore (She’s 19 now) so this isn’t exactly scandalous news. I wonder if they still live in that barn though? Is there enough room for two nurseries?!

A good baby-daddy?! This almost never happens on this show!

It’s been awhile since The Ashley has done a 16 & Pregnant recap. Don’t worry, kids, she didn’t go out and get herself a life or anything–she’s just been occupying her time with other craptastic shows! (Those damn gypsy weddings are addicting!) However, she felt that the time had come to take another look into the world of teenage pregnancy.

This week we met Hope, a 17-year-old from Lee’s Summit, Missouri. She is the typical teenage girl: she hangs out with her friends, works at a coffee house and enjoys spending time with her boyfriend, Ben. Of course, I use the term “boyfriend” loosely, as Ben was uneasy about settling down and being in a relationship. In fact, it took a least five rounds of sex and (wait for it)….an unplanned pregnancy to finally get him to quit his partying ways and become Hope’s boyfriend.

"I told you pulling out wouldn't work!"

Of course, I’m skipping ahead in the story a bit. From what Hope tells us in her voiceover, she and Ben were party pals (re: hooking up after a few too many Smirnoff Ices). They weren’t really dating, but one day Hope decided to let Ben have her “special flower.” After a few rounds of sexy time,  (shockingly) the pull-out method failed and, whoops, Hope got pregnant. Even though they weren’t really dating, Hope had to call Ben and convince him that she was actually with child and not just trying to woo him back.

Anyway, when Ben found out Hope was preggo, he pulled an “Adam” (of Teen Mom 2 fame) and bailed on Hope, saying he didn’t want anything to do with Hope or their impending bundle of (surprise) joy. Hope’s mom, Betsey, is shocked that her daughter got pregnant to begin with, since she was apparently unaware of her daughter’s after-work partying sessions.

Anyway, for the first few months of Hope’s pregnancy, Ben was missing in action and refused to answer any of Hope’s texts. Even her friends tried texting him to let him know they all think he’s a piece of crap for ditching her but he still refuses to respond.

Then, all of a sudden, Hope receives a call from Ben, who tells her that he has had a change of heart and wants to be in the baby’s life. Not only that, but he wants Hope to be his girlfriend and move in with him.

Whooooa…..let’s hold up here for a second. What spurred Benny’s sudden change of heart? Clearly one of two things happened here. Either he really did feel bad for being a creepnozzle to Hope, or he heard that MTV was coming to film Hope’s pregnancy and realized that unless he stepped up, all his family and friends were going to see what a sleaze he had been. Either way, Hope wins!

Since Ben lives an hour away from Hope, together they decide that Hope and the baby should move in with Ben. Moving in with a guy that wouldn’t speak to you just weeks ago is probably something The Ashley would advise against, but, hey, to each their own.

"I'd like to meet the guy you gave your special flower to!"

We also find out that Ben has never had the pleasure of meeting Betsey, her blue eyeshadow, or Hope’s family. For whatever the reason, he’s afraid to meet them. He comes to Hope’s house while the family is away to discuss her moving into his apartment. They have this discussion over Otter Pops. OK, kids, if you’re having an important conversation about life-changing events and you’re doing it while eating a Popsicle with a cartoon muppet on the front of it, you’re probably too young to be having said important conversation. Just saying.

Later, while having lunch with a friend, Hope explains that her unplanned pregnancy has all but shattered her hopes of going to college. We find out that Hope was hoping (pun intended) to go to Arizona State University because it’s the #1 party school in America. (Deep…breaths…must…not…comment…on…this…)

Now that Hope’s dream of a frat-party-filled college experience has been dashed, it’s hard for her to watch her friends make plans for college. It’s also hard because none of Hope’s friends will hang out with her now because she’s pregnant. (Preggo bellies cramp your style in ‘da club!’) Couldn’t she at least be their designated driver?

Anyway, Hope’s mother is surprised to hear that her underage daughter is moving in with some random guy that she’s never met. She’s also scared that Hope is going to make her shell out cash to pay for the baby. Betsey tells Hope that she’s not going to be able to finance the baby and that ol’ Benny better start saving his allowance!

I’ve got to hand it to Hope: she’s really trying to be responsible. She continues to work at the coffee shop even though she’s super-pregnant and in a lot of pain from being on her feet all day. In addition, she’s already graduated from high school and seems to have a good head on her shoulders (I’ll let that ‘party college’ thing slide…)

Hope’s legs are swollen so she goes to see her doctor to see if he can help her. Dr. Chang (who awesomely requires subtitles during the entire visit) tells her that she shouldn’t be working anymore. Hope tells the doctor that she can’t stop working because her mother can’t help pay for the baby. Dr. Chang side-eyes Hope’s mom and gives her a disapproving look. Yeah…that scene wasn’t awkward at all.

Luckily, Ben works as a bartender (um..how old is this kid?!) so he will be able to pay for “food and baby stuff.” Since Hope is nearly seven months along, and will soon be shacking up with Ben, the couple decides it’s time for Ben to meet Betsy and the fam, which also includes Betsey’s boyfriend (who kept his face in the shadows as much as possible. I guess being on a MTV reality show that’s made for chicks would hurt his street cred?)

"Nope...just my childhood!"

Ben also meets Hope’s siblings, Freedom and Chance. Yes. Those are their names. Betsey named her children Hope, Freedom and Chance. It sounds like a weird motivational saying some girl would get tattooed on her foot or something, no? I have a feeling that Betsey is going to try to get Hope to name her kid “Believe” or “Dream” or something.

Later, Hope’s mother says she is concerned that Hope will be so far away once she moves. She informs her daughter that she can’t rely on Ben to be there because, basically, “men suck.” (I’d bet my right arm that Betsey totally has a bumper sticker on her car that says that, right next to the one that says “S**t Happens!” Betsey just seems like that kind of broad.)

Finally, it’s moving day, and Hope’s family arrives to help her get settled into Ben’s apartment. Betsey is less-than-impressed with Ben’s humble abode, what with all the dead bugs in the entry way and the yucky floor. Betsey says the place is “disgusting.” I think she’s overreacting; the place looks decent to me. I’ve seen the kids on this show moves into places far worse than this apartment! (Does the barn from Season 2 ring a bell?!) This place looks fine to me!

Finally, it’s time to let her daughter go. Betsey whispers encouraging words into Ben’s ear (I’m pretty sure she said “Take care of her or I’ll kill you.” Awww….) and bids them farewell.

A few days later, Hope heads to the doctor to see if she can be induced because she is really uncomfortable. Dr. Chang is MIA, so some other lady examines Hope and tells her that her cervix is soft (ewww) and that she can be induced next week.

The morning of the induction comes, and Hope is more than ready to get her labor on! After a few shots of pitocin and the breaking of her water (that’ll wake ya up!) Hope is ready for the baby to be born. Unfortunately, after 10 hours, not much has changed with Hope and her soft cervix, so Dr. Chang (who has miraculously reappeared, yay!) decides Hope needs to have a C-section.

Why, God, WHY?! I wasn't ready for this!

They take her into the operating room and at this point, I’m expecting to see the cute little cartoon characters typically used on ’16 & Pregnant’ to illustrate stuff not shown on camera. Um, no. That’s not what happens at all. We get to see Dr. Chang literally slit open her stomach, stick a vacuum in there and dig out the baby! Blood, guts and baby juice are shooting everywhere.

It’s at this point that I learn 1) I will never be able to handle having my own children and 2) MTV is getting pretty daring with what they’re showing on TV these days. I didn’t even know they were allowed to show that kind of stuff.

Anyway, baby Tristan finally arrives. (Kudos to Hope for giving her child a normal name. Most of the kids from this season of ’16 & Pregnant’ have been saddled with ridiculous names, so her child got lucky!)

I must say that I’m kind of falling in love with Ben. I had my doubts about him in the beginning, but he was by Hope’s side during the delivery and was super-sweet in the days following Tristan’s birth, even getting up in the middle of the night to take care of his son. (In the ’16 & Pregnant’ world that’s practically unheard of!)

Eventually, Ben has to go back to work, leaving Hope stuck in the house. To make things worse, all of her friends are living it up at the college dorms. Hope decides to get a job so that she can get out of the house, and Ben agrees to watch the baby while she’s at work! Seriously, this may be one of the best baby-daddies we’ve seen in two seasons!

"And over there is the bush I usually pass out in after frat parties."

Later, Hope goes to visit her friend, Elaine, who now lives in a college dorm. I can smell the stench of cheap beer and regret on Elaine even through the television screen. Elaine regales Hope of her tales of college life: frat parties everywhere, new [boy]friends..oh, and school and stuff. Elaine, who seems hungover the entire time she’s on camera, is basically rubbing it in poor Hope’s face that her life is way crappier because she’s not in college.

In the end, Hope and Ben seem to be working together to raise the baby. (I’m shocked. I didn’t think these two had a chance of making it work, but it appears The Ashley was wrong. It happens…like once a year or so.) Hope’s episode wasn’t the most dramatic but it was very realistic. I think her story is similar to that of a lot of real-life teen mothers.

Also, I’m jealous of her hair. I’ve always wanted beautiful blonde hair like that.

Next week we meet Sarah, who is dating a disgruntled redhead with an attitude! Sounds like a party!

(Photos: MTV)

Reality shows are fighting to stay on the air!

Every year around this time, television actors and producers hold their breaths to see if their shows will survive what The Ashley affectionately calls “The Big Hack,” in which the networks decide which shows get canceled and which ones get renewed.

Of course, The Ashley only cares about the fate of her favorite crappy reality shows. If all of them get canceled she’s going to have to go out and get herself a life.

Luckily, it seems that most of the reality shows that we love have been renewed for another season. To make it easier for you, The Ashley has compiled this handy-dandy list of shows and their fates.

The Ashley took the liberty of adding in some of the other shows that didn’t appear on the “Big 4″ lists. If you’d like to see what’s happening to all of your favorite non-reality shows, click here.

Here’s how our other favorite crappy shows fared:

16 & Pregnant: At least one more season

19 Kids & Counting: Renewed

American Idol: Renewed

America’s Next Top Model: Renewed (Just let it die, Tyra!)

The Amazing Race: Renewed

The Bachelor: Renewed

The Bachelorette: Renewed

Bachelor Pad: At least one more season

Bayou Billionaires: Renewed

The Biggest Loser: At least one more season

Braxton Family Values: At least one more season

Celebrity Apprentice: Renewed

Celebrity Wife Swap: Renewed

Dancing With the Stars: Renewed

Downsized: Canceled (Read about that here!)

MTV’s The Challenge: At least one more season

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition: Canceled

Face Off: Renewed

Fashion Star:Renewed

Hell’s Kitchen: At least three more seasons

Jersey Shore: Renewed

Kitchen Nightmares: Renewed

Long Island Medium: Renewed

Mob Wives: Renewed

Real World: Renewed

Shark Tank: Renewed (YES! Anyone else love this show as much as I do?!)

Shipping Wars: Renewed

The Singing Bee: Renewed

Sister Wives: At least one more season (currently airing)

Survivor: Renewed

Teen Mom: Canceled, final season premieres June 12

Teen Mom 2: At least two more seasons

Top Chef: Renewed

Undercover Boss: Renewed

The Voice: Renewed

The X-Factor: Renewed

(Photo: ABC)

Anyway, in honor of Mother’s Day, The Ashley wanted to recognize some of her favorite mothers on reality television. There are quite a few examples of less-than-stellar mothers appearing our television screens these days. (For instance, one of these moms’ name starts with a “D” and ends with “ina Lohan.” But I’m not going to name any names.)

Here are five reality TV mothers who seem to be doing things right when it comes to their kids!

5. Tori Spelling (Home Sweet Hollywood)

Tori has always gotten on The Ashley’s last nerve; however she seems to be somewhat of a hands-on mother to her three children. She and her husband, Dean McDermott are always running around with their kids, and are often seen in public with their broad. They seem to be celebrity parents that actually raise their own children!

Also, Tori earned a spot on this list for the simple fact that it appears her single goal in life is to help repopulate the Earth. (She’s currently pregnant with her fourth child, just months after giving birth to her third!)

4. Evelyn Braxton (Braxton Family Values)

Evelyn is the mama-hen to five fame-minded daughters, most of which have semi-unfortunate names such as Tamar and Towanda. The Ashley loves Evelyn because, as the Braxton matriarch would say, “she don’t play.” She tells her daughters exactly what she’s thinking. (Best line yet: ““You will not disrespect me and the next time you do it, I’ma slap the piss out of you.”)

Despite her no-nonsense approach to mothering, Evelyn loves her daughters immensely and just wants the best for them all.

3. Kail Lowry (Teen Mom 2)

This girl had everything working against her: absentee parents, an unplanned pregnancy, a tumultuous relationship with her baby-daddy, yet has managed to overcome it all and become a successful college student and dedicated mother. While some may argue that a teen mother doesn’t make for an excellent role model, The Ashley disagrees. Kail is the perfect example that you can overcome a bad situation through hard work and determination. Kail works, goes to school and takes care of baby Isaac without any support from her own parents– and she’s only 20! Some of the other ‘Teen Moms’ could learn a thing or two from Kail.

2. Giuliana Rancic (Giuliana & Bill)

I know I’m going to catch some flak for this one, since Giuliana isn’t technically a mother…yet. However, the mommy-to-be has such an inspiring story that The Ashley couldn’t help but include her. Her road to motherhood has been very hard: after suffering a miscarriage in 2010, Giuliana continued to try to get pregnant using IVF, only to discover during the process that she had breast cancer. After battling breast cancer in 2011, Guiliana and Bill recently revealed that they are finally pregnant (via a surrogate)!

She recently told E! News that she received a Mother’s Day basket from her mother-in-law and told her, “No, no, no. I haven’t changed any diapers yet!  I don’t deserve this. I haven’t had a baby throw up on me yet!” Love that!

1. Robyn Brown (Sister Wives)

The Ashley chose Robin as her number one pick this year for several reasons. First, she came into a family that had been set in their ways for years, and basically became another mother to all of the kids in the family. (That’s no easy task…have you seen how many kids these people have?!)

However, the real reason that The Ashley chose Robyn as her #1 Mom this year is that immediately after giving birth to her son, Solomon, last year, she offered to help her sister wife, Meri, have another baby. She asked Meri, who has struggled with infertility, if she wanted her to be her surrogate. Robyn showed such compassion for Meri, and even offered up her own body to help Meri’s dream of having another baby come true. We don’t know yet if Meri takes her up on her offer, but Robyn proved herself to be a true friend with her selfless offer.

"Ya betta put me on this list!"

Honorable Mention: The Ashley just couldn’t help herself. She had to add in her all-time favorite reality TV mom, Barbara Evans of Teen Mom 2. As the mother of the pot smokin’, foul-mouthed Jenelle, Babs has had her share of tough times, but she always manages to make us laugh with her quick wit (such as buying her daughter Fix-a-Flat for her birthday) and her classic quotes (“High! High! Ya both high!”) Babs stepped up to take care of her grandson when his mother could not, so for that, we salute ya, Babs!

Who do you think should have made this list? Leave a comment and tell The Ashley!

"Hey guys, I'm back. Did I miss anything?"

Teen Mom star Amber Portwood is once again in trouble with the law. (Anyone else having deja vu after reading that?)

Anyway, Amber was arrested yesterday for violating some of the terms of her court-ordered drug rehab program.

According to The Herald Bulletin, the drug court felt that Amber was “falling short of fulfilling her obligations in the program while recuperating from surgery.”

Relax, guys; Amber didn’t join her fellow ‘Teen Mom’ co-stars and get breast implants or anything. According to the All The Teen Moms blog, Amber had surgery to remove her gall bladder.

Click here to read The Ashley’s latest story for the Today Show’s Clicker Blog and get all of the details!

(Photo: Fame Pictures)

UPDATE: And here’s the mugshot, courtesy of TMZ!

I like that she's trying different facial expressions so that her mugs all look different. Variety is the spice of life!