Post Tagged with: "Recaps"

‘Bachelorette’ Kaitlyn Episode 7 Recap: Ugly Crying in Killarney

"Waaaaa!"

“Waaaaa!”

Last week, our Bachelorette had sexy time with Nick and it has caused her a bunch of problems. Since, you know, Kaitlyn‘s technically “dating” about nine other guys still, it’s kind of rude to bang it out under the sheets with one guy, and then pretend that nothing happened and continue to date the other nine schmucks, giving them hope that they may actually make it to the Fantasy Suite. She is starting to feel guilty that her actions could hurt her relationship with Shawn and the other guys.

Before we get started, The Ashley is going to repeat the disclaimer she wrote in last week’s recap. She will be making fun of Kaitlyn for boinking guys she just met. Why? Because The Ashley makes fun of everyone that’s stupid enough to go on this crappy show, especially those who can’t keep it in their pants long enough to at least pretend to be classy people. She doesn’t care if the horndog involved is male or female. For example, please see The Ashley’s recaps of Juan Pablo‘s episodes here. If you have a problem with this, or plan to write comments that involve the phrase “slut shame,” then you best spin it around and exit this recap now!

Now that it’s just us unsavory folks, let’s get to it!

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‘Bachelorette’ Kaitlyn Episode 6 Recap: Fake Funerals & Fornication in Ireland

This basically sums up the whole episode...

This basically sums up the whole episode…

It’s the Bachelorette episode we’ve all been waiting for– the one where Kaitlyn lets a dude give her a pickle tickle on national TV! Before we begin let’s talk about that phrase that’s making it around The Internets lately– “slut shaming.” Many a millional has been screeching that it’s unfair that people shame Kaitlyn for screwing a bunch of dudes on TV, just because she’s a female.

The Ashley wishes to respond to this before we begin the recap. She will be making fun of Kaitlyn for boinking guys she just met. Why? Because The Ashley makes fun of everyone that’s stupid enough to go on this crappy show, especially those who can’t keep it in their pants long enough to at least pretend to be classy people. She doesn’t care if the horndog involved is male or female. For example, please see The Ashley’s recaps of Juan Pablo‘s episodes here.

That being said, let’s get on with the show!

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‘Bachelorette’ Episode 5 Recap: Mariachi Music & Man Meltdowns in San Antonio

"Sing monkeys, sing!"

“Sing monkeys, sing!”

This week’s episode of The Bachelorette had all of the necessities: men proclaiming that they are “falling in love” with Kaitlyn, male catfights and, of course, an ample amount of public humiliation for the guys. Let’s get to it!

The episode starts with Nick entering the guys’ hotel room. He arrives to a chorus of crickets and stink eyes, and he begins by explaining that he’s “not there to cause drama.” He, of course, is unable to keep the sly little smile off his face as he explains this. Most of the guys start grilling Nick like he’s interviewing for the Team Leader position at the Red Lobster. He keeps it cool, and has an answer for all of their questions.

Why not just light him on fire when he comes in the room, guys? It would be quicker...

Why not just light him on fire when he comes in the room, guys? It would be quicker…

Nick insists that he’s there because of how cool Kaitlyn is, rather than to get more fame. Of course, the producers have put Nick on one couch by himself opposite a couch with all the other guys. Although Nick plays it cool, his Members Only jacket is probably soaked with sweat by the end of the meeting.

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‘Bachelorette’ Kaitlyn Episode 4: Nasty Nick Kisses in New York

Ew.

Ew.

Just when you thought that this season of The Bachelorette couldn’t get any worse, the producers deliver the steaming piece of crap that is this episode. This is truly the worst season of ‘The Bachelorette’ ever, which, considering that we endured through Desiree Hartsock‘s rapping and Andi Dorfman‘s overuse of the word, “Stoooooop!” that’s saying something.

Anyway, this crapisode starts with Kaitlyn acting all tough again. She’s mad that Clint is using her so she pulls him aside to give him a piece of her mind. (Don’t give him too much, Kait! You need to conserve all of the “mind” you have.)

She sits Clint down and yells at him, and he explains that he’s good buddies with JJ. Kaitlyn doesn’t care to hear about the producer-construed JJ/Clint bromance; she’s more interested in talking about herself. Clint tries to act cool but we can see the sweat droplets forming all over his head as he tries to talk his way out of his actions.

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‘Teen Mom OG’ Reunion Part One Recap: The Adventures of Maci & Amber

The gang's all here!

The gang’s all here!

The “OG” season of Teen Mom is about to come to an end, but not before the gals sit down with Dr. Drew on a tacky pink set to talk about their daddy issues and basically regurgitate all the crap we watched all season! It’s reunion time, y’all!

The Ashley typically doesn’t recap reunions but since she skipped the finale recap, she figures she owes you guys one.

The cast arrives to the set for the reunion. Dr. Drew has a strong cup of coffee in-hand, Tyler and Catelynn have brought Nova and Farrah has brought her backdoor (and bad attitude!) so it’s almost time to get started. Oh, and Maci and Amber are there too.

Farrah seems to have brought her own pom-poms to cheer for…well, herself. As you do.

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‘Bachelorette’ Kaitlyn Episode 3 Recap: Sex Ed, Stupid Dates & Sumo Wrestling

Gotta love the cougars standing nearby trying to get a peek of the boys' junk...

Gotta love the cougars standing nearby trying to get a peek of the boys’ junk…

Last week, The Ashley had some very important business to take care of (aka she had a bad headache) so she wasn’t able to recap the previous episode of The Bachelorette. If you missed that episode, you didn’t miss much, except Kupah went crazy, and Kaitlyn made her dudes box for her affection.

This episode kicks off with Kaitlyn trying to act like a bad ass by storming out of the Mansion to confront Krazy Kupah. She asks him why he’s acting like a five-year-old, and Kupah explains that it’s because he knows that he is really a great guy who would make a good match for her. I mean, what woman wouldn’t want a dude that threatens producers, screams and basically does everything but take a big ol’ crap on the Mansion driveway?!

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