Post Tagged with: "Recaps"

‘Bachelorette’ Kaitlyn Episode 2 Recap: Britt Gets the Boot

"All that man-flesh is MINE!"

“All that man-flesh is MINE!”

Welcome to Day 2 of the two-day premiere of The Bachelorette, starring Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Niilson. ABC designs these horrible two-day premieres in an attempt to kill The Ashley. Mercifully, this episode was only an hour, unlike the two-hour trash-heap of an episode the night before.

Anyway, the episode starts out by getting right to the point. It’s time for Chris Harrison to announce which one of these lovely ladies will be getting fawned all over by a bunch of guys (not to mention be awarded with fame and free trips), and which girl will get an all-expenses-paid trip back to the Best Western, where the shuttle van will arrive to take her losing ass back home.

Chris tells Kaitlyn that he sent Britt home and she is now the ‘Bachelorette!’ Let the fornicating begin! Canada has prevailed!

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Dual ‘Bachelorette’ Episode 1 Recap: Double Bachelorettes & Drunken Dudes

Chris Harrison is absolutely thinking naughty thoughts right now...

Chris Harrison is absolutely thinking naughty thoughts right now…

It’s the season all of us Bachelorette fans have been waiting for trying to decide if we can actually sit t

Kaitlyn, described as a funny and “completely inappropriate” Canadian, and Britt, the “emotional” and “loving” girl with possible bad intentions. The intro for these chicks is supposed to be flattering but they basically just made Kaitlyn seem manly and awkward, and Britt crazy and dramatic. So…basically, it was completely accurate.

The ladies get all dressed up and get into their limos to head to the Bachelor Mansion.

"Oh, you guys were actually seriously about bringing Britt? I thought it was a bad joke!"

“Oh, you guys were actually seriously about bringing Britt? I thought it was a bad joke!”

Neither is thrilled that they have to compete with the other to get a shot of boning 3.5 guys this season, but are willing to put up with this “Dual Bachelorette” scenario if it means there may be some lucrative Instagram product endorsement deals in their futures.

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TLC Airs Another Terrible Special: Recap of ‘Submissive Wives’ Guide to Marriage’

When it's not your turn to talk, you just stare lovingly at your husband, apparently.

When it’s not your turn to talk, you just stare lovingly at your husband, apparently.

By Holly Rasmussen

TLC’s much-talked-about special, The Submissive Wives’ Guide to Marriage, made its debut last night and had the Internet’s feminist buzzing! The show followed the lives of three couples. The first two couples, Tim and Tara Furman and Eddie and Autumn Miles, have been living the submissive lifestyle for years. The third couple, Mark and Kristin Haywood is attempting the submissive lifestyle in an attempt to save their dying marriage.

The episode starts out with a doozy of a quote by Tara.

“Submission is one of the greatest gifts that God has given to women,” she says. “I have a joyful home because I’m a submissive wife.”

TLC knew that hit the ratings jackpot when they signed this lady.

“Her job description is to serve her man, help her man, submit to her man, and sleep with her man,” Tara says of the typical submissive wife.

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‘Teen Mom OG’ Episode 8 Recap: Fake Friends & Fighting in New York City

"Truthfully, I think you're both nuts!"

“Truthfully, I think you’re both nuts!”

Howdy, kids! This is the recap y’all have been asking The Ashley for all week! On this week’s episode of Teen Mom OG, basically Maci Bookout talks a big game and seems to want to rip Farrah Abraham a new a**hole (aside from the one James Deen decimated)…until, of course, she actually comes face-to-plastic-face with Farrah and then she gets all scared. The Ashley is not here to debate whether Maci or Farrah was right because, frankly, she doesn’t care. She really just wanted to watch them rip each other’s faces off. And that didn’t happen so…let’s get started!

The episode kicks off at Catelynn and Tyler‘s house, where they are packing for their upcoming trip to New York City to do press for ‘Teen Mom.’ Tyler can’t believe how much stuff they have to pack to bring Nova on the trip. (After all, when they used to bring Butch, they’d only have to bring something to cut off his court-ordered ankle bracelet! Oh, and a couple hundred packs of ciggies, of course.)

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‘Teen Mom OG’ Episode 7 Recap: Surprise Engagements & the Second Coming of Maci Bookout

I'm making this into a wall hanging, BTW.

I’m making this into a wall hanging, BTW.

The Ashley had some downtime, so she decided to tackle recapping the latest episode of Teen Mom OG now instead of waiting until the end of the week. On last week’s episode, Maci quit the show (for like a day), Farrah managed to treat everyone that came in contact with her like crap, and Amber got a new man, fell in love and moved in with him. Oh, yeah, and Catelynn crapped out a kid. So…business as usual in the ‘Teen Mom’ world!

This episode kicks off at the International House of Amber, where pancakes are being served and Amber’s new dude is trying to convince Amber’s daughter, Leah, that it’s perfectly normal that he met, moved in with and is considering marrying her mother, all in about a month. “Where did you come from?” Leah asks him. (Kid, that’s what we’re all saying too!)

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‘Teen Mom OG’ Episode 6 Recap: “All of Y’all Have Made Some Poor Decisions”

amber portwoodWelcome back to Teen Mom OG Land, where the ratings are mediocre and everyone keeps getting knocked up! On the last episode, pregnant Catelynn learned that she was tipping the scales a bit too much for her doctor’s (or Tyler‘s) liking, while Maci revealed that she and her boyfriend Kyle Taylor were having a baby together (but still not getting married because, well, this is ‘Teen Mom’, y’all! Wedding bells never ring before the contractions start. That’s just madness!)

Anyway, this episode kicks off at Farrah‘s place. Last episode, she (and her mom Deb and dad [Whatever] Michael) came back into our lives and will now be on the show. Deb is in Austin visiting Farrah and Sophia for Christmas, and, as per usual, is getting attitude from Farrah, who is having a friend (aka some random chick MTV probably had to go fetch off the street) over. She tells Deb not to “get in the way” while her special friend is over.

"Wait...we no shooting p0rno?"

“Wait…we no shooting p0rno?”

Farrah’s friend, “Paw-hola!” arrives, looking like she came straight from the set of James Deen‘s latest skin flick. She, Farrah and Sophia are going to paint, so Deb scoots out of the room to give them some time alone.

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