Post Tagged with: "Recaps"

‘Teen Mom 2′ Season 5B Episode 1 Recap: Baby Boys & Breaking Makeup Laws

Teen Mom 2 Kaiser

“We’re back…with more babies!”

Just when you thought you had said your final goodbyes to the girls of Teen Mom 2, the reality TV gods (and the MTV execs that realized what a goldmine this sh*tshow is) have decided to gift us with an entirely new season! While they aren’t calling this Season 6 (for reasons The Ashley explained a while back), that’s essentially what it is, with a bunch of new episodes that follow the lives of Chelsea Houska, Kail Lowry, Leah Calvert and Jenelle Evans.

Anyway, let’s get started. The faster we blow through Leah, Kail and Chelsea’s parts, the faster we get to Babs!

South Dakota

Bets on how long it will take Adam to crash his motorcycle right through the front of this place?

The episode starts off with a quick recap of last season’s drama. We start off with Chelsea, who tells us that she was able to get a loan to buy a house. I’m sorry, whaaaat? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are endless banks that are just lining up to loan a pile of money to a single young girl who didn’t have a job until about a month ago, but WTF?

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Exclusive Event Recap: ‘Teen Mom’ Farrah Abraham’s Adult Toy Release Party

farrah abraham toy release

If you Roundupers have ever doubted how much The Ashley loves you, let this story be an indication that The Ashley will stop at nothing to bring you the most exclusive reality TV gossip and new coverage.

Anyway, on Friday night, The Ashley hauled her lazy butt down to Pomona, California, to attend the “red carpet” release party for Teen Mom-turned-adult-film-star Farrah Abraham‘s new line of adult toys. (The Ashley is going to have to be careful about how she words this post, due to some words being no-no’s in the publishing world. Please bear with me here.)

Click the thumbnails to view the photos at full size…

farrah abraham toy release party
The club, which was miles and miles (and miles) away from Hollywood, was packed for the release party. All of Pomona’s finest  degenerates were in attendance to celebrate the release of Farrah’s plastic vajayjay. Although the event was supposed to start at 10 p.m., Farrah did not arrive until about 11 p.m.

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‘Bachelorette’ Andi Episode 8: Getting Cheesy on Hometown Dates

Josh always looks like he's posing for an Old Spice ad, no?

Josh always looks like he’s posing for an Old Spice ad, no?

It’s Hometown Date week! This is the week that us Bachelorette fans get to peek into the “real” lives of the guys we’ve been watching for the past eight-or-so weeks, like the creepy voyeurs that we are! Andi will be heading to the hometowns of the remaining four guys–amply nippled baseball player Josh, eyeless farmer Chris, that evil rascal Nick and…….who else is left? Oh, yeah the oft-forgotten Marcus.

The first hometown Andi will be jetting off to is glamorous Milwaukee, Wisconsin, hometown of Nick. We will finally get to see if Nick was, indeed, hatched in the depths of hell, as ABC has implied all season, because we are going to visit his home and meet his family!

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‘Bachelorette’ Andi Episode 7 Recap: Flexing the Love Muscles in Brussels

Josh positioned himself for maximum muscle exposure...

Josh positioned himself for maximum muscle exposure…

It’s been a while since The Ashley has done a Bachelorette recap and, since we all know she doesn’t really have a life, she figured she’d devote her Monday night to watching this crap.

Anyway, this week Andi and the remaining six boys head to Brussels, Belgium, where they check into a giant hotel suite. While there are many rooms in the suite, I only see one bed in the whole place. Looks like it’s going to be a giant Belgian swordfight tonight, boys!

"I wonder if there are any Belgian waffle places around her that deliver?"

“I wonder if there are any Belgian waffle places around here that deliver?”

The guys are extra eager to get a rose this week because the four guys that remain will get to take Andi home to meet their families for the Hometown Dates next week. There will be one group date and two one-on-one dates this week. The guys, who are all oddly wearing the same hoodie sweatshirt–did Old Navy have a sample sale?–are not happy to hear that Marcus is getting the first one-on-one date. Josh straight out curses loudly when he realizes it’s not his name on the card. Classy, as always, bro.

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“16 and Pregnant” Season 5 Recap: The Adventures of Savon, Sheba & Some Dude That’s Not the Father


That awkward moment…when you’re caught on camera giving a baby the stinkeye.

Well, it’s official: The Ashley sucks at keeping up with her 16 and Pregnant recapping schedule. There are so many pregnant teenagers on MTV these days, it seems that The Ashley just can’t keep up! If you have seen an episode this season that hasn’t been recapped by The Ashley and you want her to do it, be sure to tell her on The Twitter here. (She’s taking requests!)

Anyway, tonight on The Maury Povich Show, er…’16 and Pregnant’…we meet Savon. She’s having a full-on “You are…not the father” moment because she’s found herself knocked up by a guy that’s not her boyfriend. (Seriously, don’t you just hate when that happens?)

Season 5

A hairbrush? Really, MTV? You could’ve coughed up $40 for a Mr. Microphone, geez…

Savon (that’s pronounced Sa-vaughn, just FYI, not Save-on, like the drug store) is a teenager from Georgia that lives with her fabulous Aunt LaDonna and her cousins. She’s planning to go to college on a basketball scholarship. Oh, and don’t worry about her post-college plan because she’s got that all figured out…she’s planning to become a singer.

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‘Bachelorette’ Andi Episode 3 Recap: Turning Boyz Into (Crying) Men

boys ii men

That’s what all of the viewers’ faces looked like while watching this episode.

The new season of The Bachelorette is now in full swing and, unfortunately, The Ashley has been unable to recap the last few episodes. Luckily, ABC decided to throw two episodes at her in one weekend, so, provided that watching four hours of this crappy show doesn’t kill her, The Ashley will do her best to recap the season here on out.

Tonight’s episode kicks off a two-night ‘Bachelorette’ extravaganza, which the previews promise to deliver a heavy dose of the show’s “must-haves.” These will include, but are not limited to, having Andi and one of her suitors dance awkwardly on a stage above the crowd at a concert, at least one romantical stroll on a beach, a random cameo from a 1990s pop group, and at least two people talking about how they are “finally putting themselves out there.”

"Oh boy, Santa Barbara! I've never been out of the country before!"

“Oh boy, Santa Barbara! I’ve never been out of the country before!”

For this episode, Chris Harrison informs Andi’s harem of dudes that they will be heading north to Santa Barbara for their dates! The guys do their best to act excited, but most of them have a confused look on their face and are trying to figure out if they need to use their passport to go to Santa Barbara. Cody looks especially confused. I’m pretty sure he’s gotten Santa Barbara confused with the North Pole.

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