"I have to confess Jake, I have shocking news....I eat ramen right out of the package!" Um...yawn.
US Weekly runs a column in its magazine every week called “25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me.” This week they chose The Bachelorette, Ali to write about! While her “25 things” aren’t exactly shocking (or even that exciting for that matter), The Ashley is nosy and still had to read them. I was hoping they would answer some of my burning questions such as:
1) What really happened in the fantasy suite?! Does that romantical Latin lover music that always plays during Roberto’s segments actually follow him around in real life too?
2) How long did it take you to file a restraining order against Kasey? Has he, at any time, appeared outside your bedroom window since you left him on a glacier in Iceland?
3) What the fuck is up with your nappy-ass hair extensions? Do you own a mirror? Girl, you need to get a wig to cover up that mess!
Ok, I’m done. Unfortunately, none of my questions were answered, but here’s her “25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me.” Sorry to break it to you, but it’s kind of a snooze fest. (My comments are in brackets.)
1. I believe that touching the outside of an airplane before boarding is good luck.
2. My friends call me all sorts of things: Al, Fedo, Fed, A-Fed, Lex, Ali-gator, Raptor.
3. I eat lemon wedges like oranges.
4. I studied couples and intimacy in college. And I was on the hip-hop dance team!
5. I grew up in a town with one traffic light.
6. I am obsessed with air-popped popcorn.
7. Besides my family and friends, the thing I miss most about the East Coast is Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. [Um…you can get that in California too, you know….I’m sure Kasey would be happy to bring it to you!]
8. The only time you will see me cooking is when I play Cafe World on Facebook.
9. Cornhole — a.k.a. beanbag toss — is one of my favorite games.
10. I’ve never owned an automatic car. All mine have been stick shift. If a guy can’t drive stick, it’s a huge turnoff. [I’m sure you drove a few sticks in the Fantasy Suite, Ali!]
11. During college, a highlighter was my best friend.
12. I can memorize a list of up to 20 things using body motions, and then repeat that list backward 10 days later. [That probably came in handy keeping all those guys’ names straight early on!]
13. I like to eat ramen dry right out of the package.
14. I once threw a boy off a swing set in third grade because he took my Walkman. I’d like to take this moment to apologize for that. Ha ha.
15. I’m a Gleek, I’m a Gleek!
16. I could watch Flight of the Conchords all day, every day.
17. I used to think I had style. . . and then I came to Hollywood.
18. I came to L.A. when I was 12 and didn’t like it much. I remember crying to my parents while telling them that I would never come back. I think I’ve been in L.A. eight out of the past 12 weeks. Ha!
19. I had a lazy eye and wore glasses from age 2 to age 12. Since then, my eyes have completely corrected themselves. [Must…find…photos….of said lazy eye….]
20. I played soccer for my old company’s team. Go, Facebook Falcons!
21. Growing up, I had a teddy bear named Zelda that never left my side.
22. I like my bedroom temperature to be at least 80 degrees when I sleep.
23. I love to play poker.
24. I consider pickles to be a major food group. [Was going to make a comment on this, but, eh…too easy!]
25. My favorite color is yellow. Oh, wait, you probably already know that.
Yawn. Hey Ali, I’ll pay more attention when you sell your story to Star Magazine once your fairy tale romance blows up. Thanks.