If you believe Star Magazine (and why wouldn’t you, they have such a great track record?), Crystal Bowersox married her boyfriend, Tony in a ceremony at the Graceland Wedding Chapel, during Adam Lambert week in April!

Apparently, Big Mike took the opportunity in Vegas to renew his vows with his wife (I’m sure the vows included a Boys II Men solo from Mike, naturally.) According to Star:

Crystal, 24, and her boyfriend, fellow Ohio native Tony, 26, pledged their love to each other at the Graceland Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas while on an Idol field trip earlier this month. Chapel owner Brendan Paul led the commitment ceremony and the lovebirds held hands as they recited their vows. 

So if this is true what the hell was the whole “someday he’ll step up and marry me” thing. Why were we subjected to that lame Shania Twain song instead of our usual dose of kickass Crystal music if she’s already married?

Sure, there’s a photo, but what I’m thinking is that they probably tagged along to Mike’s ceremony and this chapel guy had the idea to take a picture with them and then sell it to the sleaziest tabloid ever.  (I’m just bitter because they wouldn’t give me an internship in college, sorry.) 

If they didn’t get married, that’s kind of messed up isn’t? Dangling the carrot in front of her face, aren’t you boyfriend? That’s kind of like taking a fat kid to the candy store and telling them they can’t have anything.

If they are married, that’s cool. I hope they got the Blue Hawaii Elvis package…you get to have Hawaiian Elvis sing you love songs on his ukelele. Doing this someday!