The Ashley has found a show that makes her want to stab herself in the eye with an ice pick, as punishment for watching this piece of garbage. You’ll feel the same way after watching one episode of You’re Cut Off on VH-1.

If you thought True Beauty was chillin’ on the lowest rung of the bad-TV totem pole, you haven’t seen anything yet! ‘You’re Cut Off’ makes ‘True Beauty’ look like a cinematic masterpiece!

Basically, the premise is simple. (There’s really no other choice when you’re appealing to a market of pre-teen morons and idiotic adults, as VH-1 is.) About ten super-spoiled rich girls are tricked into thinking they are going on a show about living extravagant lifestyles.

The girls, who are daughters of plastic surgeons, lawyers and various rich people, go to buy some ridiculously expensive item at a clothing store and (gasp!) their credit card is denied. They are all instructed (separately, of course) to report to the customer service booth to find out what happened. So the rich bitches storm down there, intent on telling the poor minimum wage-making customer service rep off for making a mistake.

When they get there,  the “customer service rep” (really some lady who’s a life coach) tells them, “Honey, you’re cut off.”

Say what?!

Basically, their parents have told them that they will no longer support these girls and have sent them to this “camp” to change and become better people…and spenders. Madness ensues.

These girls are just awful. I know a lot of reality TV is not actually real, but there’s no way a girl can fake being this big of a delusional twit.

We get to know the girls. There’s Erica, an airhead who wears tiaras all day. We also meet Chrissy, who has a majorly-annoying attitude and thinks the world owes her something. (We do— a frying pan to the face!)

One girl, Gia, is a princess who has a husband who totally takes care of her every whim. She refuses to change her own baby’s diaper because she’s “above” that.

Each week, the girls are put through a variety of challenges that normal people consider everyday tasks, such as going grocery shopping on a budget, doing chores and being respectful human beings. Those who do a good job are told that they “are on track for graduation.”

Most of the madness happens in the house (which sits in suburbia- gasp!- and has bunk beds!) When you put a bunch of no-brains into one house together, you’re bound to get a whole lotta drama.

“Bitch, how dare you tell me to use the store brand deodorant! 

Oh yeah, and there was a really awesome cat fight with a pillow!

The show’s already three episodes in, but if you’re interested in watching this trainwreck, you can easily catch-up, as the plot’s not exactly one that rivals “Lost.” It really makes you want to jab your own eyes out and ask, “what am I doing with my life?!”

You should totally watch it.

(Photos: VH1)