By Holly Rasmussen

It’s time for another double dose of Kendra On Top! In an effort to not lose one second of the drama that has been ratings gold for the show, the first episode starts out where the last one left off. Kendra is finally confronting her husband, Hank, about the rumors of his affair. Hank once again denies his affair and whimpers that he will “clear his name” and that he’s sorry that he “hurt the only person he’s ever loved.”  Wait—if you didn’t have an affair, why do you need to clear your name and apologize for hurting her? Just sayin’….

Kendra allows Hank to move back into their house, but says it’s only so he can be a father to the kids and that he must sleep in an extra bedroom. Hank agrees to these terms and shuffles off with his tail between his legs to his room, possibly to go sext transsexual models, we’re not sure.

The next day, Hank leaves for Seattle, where he says his company has a business deal to attend to. Am I the only one who didn’t know that Hank owned part of a video game company? Does this mean he’s completely given up on playing football at this point?

Kendra’s fame-hungry mom decides to take this opportunity to swoop in and get some camera time. Hank doesn’t take well to the news that Party Patti is coming over and says he doesn’t think Kendra should be spending time with people who sell stories about her to the tabloids. Well, Hank, maybe you should have thought about whose shoulder Kendra would have to cry on when you were “allegedly” cheating on her.             .

Kendra and Party Patti sit down to talk about the scandal while the baby lies in a carrier off to the side. (Is a camera guy watching her or something? These people treat their kids like props. I seriously can’t wait until Little Hank grows up and writes his tell-all book.)

Kendra tries to apologize for the bad blood between her and Patti, to which Patti responds, “Well, you did tell me to go die.” Kendra apologizes and then pours her heart out to her mom and says she doesn’t know what to do about her marriage, but she wants Hank to stay in the children’s lives.

Patti is dumbfounded that Kendra is allowing Hank to stay in the house and says she doesn’t believe in staying together for the kids. She then tells the baby that if things don’t work out between her mommy and daddy then her mommy and Mimi can go find some other football players to date. W…T…F.

Hank returns from his important video game business in Seattle to once again hash out the details of his betrayal with Kendra. Not being able to handle the pressure of the conversation, Hank shuffles off like a zombie to go cry in a darkened bathroom. He wails that, “Every man in the world wants Kendra [Really?], but he’s the only one who knows her.”

The episode ends without them ever really talking about what actually happened. Of course it does.

On the next episode, Hank takes a video-game-related trip to Austin and Kendra decides to spend time with some friends. (Side note- Am I the only person who notices that Kendra sometimes wears her blush so harshly on her cheek bones that it looks like a gash? It’s very distracting.)

Since Kendra can’t get answers out of Hank, she decides to take her friend Jessica and go talk to Hank’s good friend, Travelle. He is, of course, no help at all and says he doesn’t know what happened but he wants to believe Hank.

Kendra decides to get her mind off of her marriage by throwing on a blazer and going out for a girl’s night. Why has she been wearing so many blazers lately? Apparently they make her feel like an independent woman or something.

Kendra’s girlfriends all agree that Hank needs to tell her the truth, and then Jessica drops a bombshell. She says that Hank told her husband, Kyle, what happened. Kyle told Jessica that there are two sides to every story. (UM— so what’s the freaking story?!!? Can they just tell us already? Good Lord.)

Kendra takes this to mean that Hank is guilty of something and gets so upset that she has to leave (of course she does). The preview for next week shows Kendra and Hank getting in to an epic fight and her yelling, “It’s divorce time!”  No, it’s time for you guys to finally reveal what happened and stop stretching it out for ratings!

Until next week…

To read more of Holly’s ‘Kendra On Top’ recaps, click here!