The Ashley had some downtime, so she decided to tackle recapping the latest episode of Teen Mom OG now instead of waiting until the end of the week. On last week’s episode, Maci quit the show (for like a day), Farrah managed to treat everyone that came in contact with her like crap, and Amber got a new man, fell in love and moved in with him. Oh, yeah, and Catelynn crapped out a kid. So…business as usual in the ‘Teen Mom’ world!
This episode kicks off at the International House of Amber, where pancakes are being served and Amber’s new dude is trying to convince Amber’s daughter, Leah, that it’s perfectly normal that he met, moved in with and is considering marrying her mother, all in about a month. “Where did you come from?” Leah asks him. (Kid, that’s what we’re all saying too!)
Matt tells Leah that he’s planning on proposing to her mother, and Leah is totally treating him like her kitchen boy, making him clean up after her and bossing him around.
Later, Leah goes home, but a bunch of the Portwood crew is coming over to feast on whatever type of “Helper” Amber is making. After the meat by-product has been dished out, Amber, Matt and her family all sit down to chat about their blossoming relationship.
Amber’s family is worried about how fast Amber and Matt are moving in their relationship. Even “Bubby” (Amber’s unfortunately nicknamed brother) is concerned. Amber’s mom, Tonya, seems to be OK with Matt dating her daughter, until he messes up (i.e. steals her car and/or knocks her up.)
Over in Austin, Farrah’s shuttling Sophia off to school/whatever neighbor is watching her so that she can do a paid appearance at a Vegas nightclub. (We can’t be sure if this is a nightclub where everyone dances, or just “certain” girls dance, if you get my drift.)
Farrah drops off Sophia and asks her for a goodbye kiss. Sophia stays at a safe distance and blows Farrah a kiss instead of actually touching her with her lips. (Who can blame the kid?! We all saw where Farrah’s mouth has been!)
After Sophia has been safely disposed of, Farrah jets to Vegas, where the nightclub has a bunch of weird [sex?] toys waiting for her in her hotel room. There’s a mini donkey pinata (Dear God, I don’t even want to know what she’s gonna do with that thing!), a giant lollipop and some sort of big stick-looking object. I’m scared.
Of course, as soon as Farrah arrives in Vegas, she gets a call from someone asking her if she and her mom, Debra, would be interested in doing a new reality show about family counseling. Do Farrah and Debra want to do a reality show? Um…that’s like asking Gary Shirley if he wants pizza. The answer is always, always yes.
(By the way, The Ashley has all of the details regarding this new “family counseling” reality show and will be posting about it soon!)
Farrah Face(lift)-Times Deb to ask about the reality show. Debra jumps at the chance to go. They have to go to LA to start filming very soon, but since Deb’s schedule isn’t exactly jam-packed these days, it won’t be a problem.
In Tennessee, Maci is still pouting about sharing the screen with Farrah and her plastic vaginas, so she isn’t filming. This means that we are seeing more of Jen and Larry (Yay!) and Ryan (Boo!) than ever before. Unfortunately, MTV arrives and Ryan has gone MIA, or “down…the…road” as his Mom says, and is not there to film. Since Bentley isn’t allowed to film anymore, the only people to film are Jen and Larry. While The Ashley thinks that filming them would be much more exciting than watching Ryan yawn, MTV disagrees.
All of a sudden, Maci arrives and the producer tells the camera crew not to film Maci. (Oh, come on…)
Maci, however, is OK with being filmed, and announces that she’s coming back to the show.
What.A.Surprise.
She tells the crew that she will come back on the show but Bentley will not because she doesn’t want a six-year-old sharing the episode with Farrah and her backdoor hijinks.
Maci and Taylor sit down with Ryan’s parents (Taylor has a beer and Maci is probably majorly jonesing for a brewsky– drat this pregnancy!) All of a sudden, Ryan sloths his way into the house, drinking a Big Gulp. He basically just ignores everyone that’s there. Finally he asks Maci if she would still be on the show with him if he made a sexy time movie.
Sorry, Ry, but there’s not really much of a market for naptime p0rn.
They all giggle at the thought of Ryan and Taylor posing for Playgirl in a sort of “Maci’s Baby Daddies” spread. I just….can’t….
Finally, we check in with Catelynn and Tyler, who are adjusting to their first days as parents to Baby Nova. They are at first filming the baby with a handheld camera, but the MTV crew soon arrives to get official footage. They talk about how different their lives would have been if they had kept Carly.
Later, Cate tells her Grandma how hard it would have been to raise newborn Carly at Casa de April and Butch, as a 16-year-old. She also makes it clear that Nova is “not a replacement child for Carly.” Maybe Grandma will crochet Nova a quilt that says that?
Back in Indiana, Cousin Krystle is visiting Amber. She’s brought her litter of kids with her and is giving Amber weird looks. (Perhaps she’s just disappointed that this filmed meeting took place at Amber’s home instead of a restaurant, nail salon or go-karting attraction?)
Krystle is actually acting strange because she thinks Amber and Matt’s relationship is weird. (OK, so, you’re getting the Creepy Uncle vibe from him too, Krystle?)
The next day, Matt and Amber head over to Betty’s Diner (which seems like the place that they’d serve bacon-wrapped bacon dogs with bacon bits crumbled over it) to talk about their life together. Apparently, the smell of Betty’s runny eggs must have gotten Matt feeling romantic because he’s decided that he’s going to pop the question to Amber right here in Betty’s Diner! (Come on buddy, even Gary did a better job of proposing! At least he took Amber to the beach!)
After telling Amber that they are both “grotesque and lazy,” he starts off his proposal by reminding Amber how much “messed up sh*t” they have done in their lives. He then busts out a ring and proposes. Amber accepts, and says that this is the first proposal that she’s actually taken seriously. (I guess Gary’s Walmart ring proposal wasn’t exactly every girl’s dream, but ouch! Poor Gary!)
In Michigan, Tyler sends a side-by-side photo comparison of Nova and Carly’s newborn pics to BrandonandTeresa. Teresa has sent over some of Carly’s baby things for them to give to Nova, which they appreciate. However, Tyler is concerned that Teresa has not yet responded to any of his texts, even the picture comparison text.
Cate decides to call Teresa to thank her for the gifts. Teresa expresses love for Nova, which makes Ty and Cate feel better.
Meanwhile, Farrah is waiting for her boyfriend, Simon, to arrive in Vegas. She’s Face-timing him while the producers are in her hotel room, but that doesn’t stop Farrah from TMI-ing so that we all throw up.
“I’m going to kiss you, hug you and f**k you,” she tells Simon, all while also talking to him with the same annoying baby talk she uses with Sophia. (And we thought Matt was creepy–nope, this takes the cake!)
Farrah is nervous that Simon will have to meet Debra when they go to Los Angeles. Simon gets along well with Farrah’s other family members, particularly Sophia, who is asking Farrah if Simon is basically the new “Daddy Derek.” (Her words, not mine!) At the mention of Derek’s name, Farrah breaks down into ugly-cry, which lightens the mood (but does not make me feel any less queasy).
Farrah is worried that any guy that she dates will “f**k up” her future. Well, Farrah, no need to worry about that, you’re doing an A-plus job all on your own, girl! The scene ends with Farrah sobbing over a piece of cucumber.
Over at Maci’s place, we get to watch Maci and her friend shovel salad into their gullets, while discussing why Taylor won’t “put a ring on it” even though he “put a baby in it.” Maci says that she wanted to get married before getting knocked up but, hey, there’s nothing you can do about getting pregnant!
Oh….wait…
The next day, Maci, who is five months pregnant, finds out that she’s having a girl. They have a sonogram appointment, but Tyler has an important beer appointment to get to. (Hey– it’s afternoon and no beer has passed through Taylor’s lips– WTF?)
Taylor tells his friends that he is thinking about proposing to Maci since her grandparents are thinking that she’s a great big ol’ slut for having two kids out of wedlock by two different guys. He says that he’d like to propose before the baby comes in about four months.
At dinner that night, Maci is in a mood. Taylor tells Maci that he wants to move into a bigger house, now that the baby is coming. He says that their current house is so small (one bathroom– the horror!) Maci is opposed to it because she doesn’t want to settle on any old house. Um…you are a 24-year-old with no job. The fact that you guys can afford any house is a miracle.
Maci then brings up them getting married, and Taylor tells Maci that he already feels like they’re married, since she bitches “like a married woman.”
And— scene!
In Vegas, Simon finally arrives, and luckily we are spared having to watch Farrah kiss/hug/f**k him. They sit on the bed and discuss how Simon likes going to the parties that Farrah takes him to. Farrah likes Simon because he doesn’t look at her the way everyone else does, and Simon doesn’t mind that his girlfriend is known for getting her backdoor ripped apart by James Deen.
After a few more nauseating scenes, Farrah is getting made up to appear at the Vegas club. She tells her hair and makeup guys that she feels that Simon is “the one.” She takes him to the club appearance and they do a paparazzi shoot together. The club appearance is almost as sickening as Farrah’s baby talk. The other club dancers are holding letter signs that spell out “Farrah.” (Seriously, how crappy do you have to feel if you are assigned the job of holding the “H” sign to honor freaking Farrah Abraham? That’s rough.)
Afterward, Farrah asks Simon if he wants to meet her “Crazy Mom” Debra in Los Angeles. Simon agrees, stating that he will meet Deb if Farrah’s fine with it.
“Oh, I’m fine with everything,” Farrah says.
We know, Farrah…we know…
Farrah and Simon charter a helicopter from Vegas to LA (as you do) and fit in a few minutes to talk to Sophia on the phone. Later, Deb arrives at the hotel, literally wearing a rhinestone necklace fit for the ninth grade prom.
“If I had known I was going to meet you, I would have dressed up!” Deb tells Simon.
They pour some wine and start talking about Simon’s work and the new reality show, all while Farrah rolls her eyes at everything Deb says. They toast to more reality TV fame and Simon seems thoroughly freaked out. Job well done, guys!
At Amber’s place, Tonya arrives to find Amber and Matt sitting on the couch (of course). Amber jokes with her mom that she’s pregnant, and Tonya freaks out. Amber then tells her mom not to worry, she’s not pregnant; she’s actually just marrying a really old dude she just met.Phew.
Amber says that she and Matt are heading to Vegas soon to have a sort of “off parole party” for Amber. (Come on guys– now you’re just making it too easy for The Ashley.) Tonya and Matt realizes that, at 43, Tonya is only four years older than Matt.
Nope, not creepy at all…
Not everyone is thrilled about the engagement. “Bubby” is upset that Amber and Matt’s relationship has only lasted a few weeks, and is worried that Matt is just after money or fame. Amber denies that Matt is in it for the wrong reasons and promises “Bubby” that she won’t get married right away. You can tell, however, that she’s not thrilled at having to put the nuptials on hold.
Next week is a “very special episode” of ‘Teen Mom OG.” The Ashley can hardly wait!
To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous ‘Teen Mom OG’ episode, click here!
(Photos: MTV)
29 Responses
Love this recap. So hilarious!
Anyone else notice Maci was eating sushi while she’s 4 months pregnant or whatever? Thought that was a no-no unless it’s cooked (which I would hope it is since Tennessee isn’t exactly known for its seafood or sushi)…
tyler is an immature douchebag. he clearly does not grasp that B&T don’t “owe” him a response to his texts; they don’t owe him a thing and he needs to mind his p&q’s and attitude with them. he plays the victim like they hold carly above his head but in reality i think they are more than accommodating and upfront about what their expectations are from tyler and cate as birthparents. and constantly saying nova isnt carly’s replacement is having the opposite effect – its like they are trying to convince themselves of that. i just cannot stand him anymore and i used to think cate was the annoying, immature one with her head up her ass. now the roles have reversed and shes the only logical mature one in that pair.
>Taylor tells Maci that he already feels like they’re married, since she bitches “like a married woman.”
Favorite scene, no doubt. I hate how Maci was being a total bitch the whole time, trampling over everything Taylor said he wanted without even giving it a minute, and then when he got quiet she was like “Are you mad? Aw, do you need a hug?” and smiling all sweet like she had no idea what she had done. I wonder if she ever says sorry for anything.
Maci just go pick out your own damn ring. You’re going to hate whatever he gets anyway and it’s not like it’s some big romantic surprise anymore. You’re knocked up and might as well have proposed to HIM by now with how much it has been discussed.
Maybe it was just me, but before he proposed to her during their meal. It looked like she already had a ring on that finger.. Well to me it did.
Betty’s Diner (which seems like the place that they’d serve bacon-wrapped bacon dogs with bacon bits crumbled over it) … why am I not grossed out by that?
Naptime porn! Ashley you are hysterical. Also, do we know what Taylor does for a living? Does he have a job or a degree? For that matter, do any of the Teen Mom OG guys work? Other than Ryan, who I believe was a welder.
Um, clearly you don’t pay attention. Ryan is a professional napper with an additional job of filling cans with spit, Taylor drinks beer for a livin’, Gary has those creepy-as-hell condoms, and Tyler is a social media mogul. DUH.
and tyler is gonna go to “film school” so he can be an “actor”. hahahahaha.
Ryan is the only one on the show who has worked through the majority of filming.
Amber is very troubled still in my opinion. Matt is an opportunist, that sought her out, because he was obsessed with Teen Mom. He was communicating with all the Teen Moms via Twitter for quite some time before Amber took his bait. He drops his whole life in Boston including two young children from his first failed marriage to move in with Amber in Indiana, oh that’s just wonderful, Amber is making such strides in her decision making process. This will all end very well for her, NOT. What Cate and Ty have always done are doing now regarding Carly is borderline obesseive, unless MTV is demanding that they keep talking about her. Side by side pictures, constantly talking about her, they will be close because they are full sisters. They are sorry they gave up Carly and Brandon and Teresa are sorry they picked them. Will either pair say that on camera? Maybe, will it make it to air? NO! Maci came back because she is a loser and I knew she would. What else would she do if she didn’t come back, I’m sorry but all these girls are lost losers, it’s very disappointing, and I have a feeling that this will be the last season for OG, the ratings are very low, even Farrah’s father Michael said if the ratings don’t come up, there won’t be a show next season, time will tell. Ashley thanks for all your info and your updates, you’re the best!
I do not believe Catelynn and Tyler are obsessed. MTV is touching on a subject that very few channels will ever discuss! I’m sure MTV is telling her what to say, but I’m also sure she misses that little girl daily. Unless you are her you have no right to discuss her feelings on her birth child.
i think they do get asked to discuss things. maci said that she hated having to talk about ryan all the time, that they asked her to discuss ryan and it made it look like all she ever did was think/talk about ryan and she hated it. think they do regret giving up carly but they really need to accept that she’s b&t’s daughter. i was hoping having a baby would wake them up to how angry it would make a parent up all night with a baby for other people to claim that child. like, u raise her but she’s my daughter, um, no. absolutely agree on amber, think she’s made huge progress w drugs and anger but being very naive about this guy. pray she puts the wedding off til she’s known him longer.
I didn’t know that about Matt’s background!! Now I’m even more creeped out.
And really good point about the producers encouraging the cast to talk about topics. Tyler and his mom sitting at the picnic table scene and all of a sudden the producer asks if they wanted a baby ever since Carly and it was such odd timing and felt out of place. And Ryan flips any time anyone tries to get him to discuss Maci
Anyone watch the teen dad special from awhile ago? I was late to watching it but was suprised that Ryan seemed much more personable on it toward his girlfriend and Bentley.
Tyler, you know damn well why Teresa isn’t answering your texts. Quit acting like you didn’t royally screw things up at the last meeting. Thank god the cameras were there or who knows how the suburban mom would’ve thrown down.
Farrah coming back to the show is horrible not because she did a sex tape, but because she’s a bad person and a complete pain in the ass to everyone forced to see her face. This is now 1/4 of the Teen Mom ep I don’t get to watch because Farrah’s rude face appears and I can’t stand to look at it.
THANK YOU! I really don’t have a problem with Farrah and her porn career. Porn isn’t illegal, and is in fact a huge money-maker. I have a problem with her attitude, her bloated sense of self-righteousness, her rudeness towards her parents (who basically act like sniveling, beaten dogs at this point, and her pretend religious piety. She is a sham, and is everything this show should not represent. I watch for Amber. She shows struggle, recovery, and the everyday hardships someone can go through in order to overcome bad decisions and addictions, and try to rebuild their life. She is perfect reality tv. Farrah is a basic slam pig.
I so agree!! I feel like Farrah wanted out from under her parents control. And sad but true the sex industry was probably the fastest way to become financially independent. I can’t stand her bc of how entitled she is. She acts like people and the world owe her something. Her new “fame” likely only exacerbates this. The way she talks to her parents, especially her father, just astounds me. Not that her parents or family dynamic is healthy but still.
Thank you for another amazing recap! The Ashley makes my week.
Anyone else notice Amber’s nail color change from purple to bright red during the “Bubby” phone call?
Am I crazy, or did Amber already have on the engagement ring in the scene where her cousin comes over? I think it might be one of those times when they air things out of order to make it more dramatic. Like her cousin was feeling wary and then OMG they’re engaged now!
I am ashamed of how excited I am to watch Maci and Farrah fight.
Down vote this, it totally deserves it. >.<
No I agree. But I’ll be surprised if Maci actually says something to Farrah’s face that is anywhere near as severe/straight-forward as how she talks when she’s not around. At least Farrah is consistently bitchy to everyone, all the time. From the previews and from the aftershows that have already been aired it looks like Maci plans to squeeze out of this with the whole “I’m not judging but…” thing.
1) love Amber. That said, she could do so much better than her fiancé. I feel like her time would be better spent trying to get at least shared custody of Leah so that Gary can’t hold seeing Leah over her head.
2) I was hoping that Farrah being happy would be less annoying than hateful Farrah but no such luck. The way she talks to Simon is so immature it’s sad. She is emotionally still a child.
3) I feel like Tyler doesn’t fully understand the adoption process. He doesn’t have right and the way he speaks to Brandon and Teresa, I’m not shocked that communication with Catelynn Is better than with him. It also sounds like they’re trying to convince themselves that Nova isn’t a Carly replacement. Saying they don’t want them compared and them making a side by side pictorial comparison maybe isn’t the way to go about that. Psychologically I feel like Cate and Tyler feel powerless because Brandon and Teresa control of they see Carly and that’s understandable. It seems that it makes them feel better to imagine that Brandon and Teresa also have insecurities. I didn’t quite understand Cate’s comments about Carly being closer to Nova as compared to adoptive siblings. Why the comparison? Carly is basically blessed with two families that love her.
4) Oh, Maci. I see why she doesn’t want to be associated with Farrah. But they are associated since there were the original girls no matter what. I feel like she brought up getting engaged and having kids with Kyle too and begging Taylor about it honestly seems a bit desperate. And why was it okay to show her daughter on the show? I know, in the womb, but still.
3) Cate didn’t said that Carly could be closer to Nova as compared to adoptive siblings, she said as compared to adoptive parents (i think she ment her and Ty)
She meant B & T.
I found that to be such an odd thing to say. It might be true, I don’t know, but it makes it seem like they had Nova to strengthen Carly’s ties to them. Like look, we’re your REAL dad, REAL mom, and REAL sister.
I’m adopted and I just find their attitude to be pretty ignorant and disrespectful. I’ve never found my birth family, and if I did I would probably be fascinated with them at first – but it doesn’t erase the lifelong bond I have with my adoptive family. Basically I don’t think that “blood” relatives get a head start in likeability and bonding. They’re certainly different and highly interesting, but they’re not superior or anything like that. And the “highly interesting” part I am taking from people who didn’t have a closed adoption and learned of relatives much later in life, like in their twenties and on. So I have no idea whether Carly would find them as interesting having known and seen them all her life from the very beginning.
I’m ranting. Oops.
(Who didn’t have an *open* adoption)