Good news, my fellow Bachelor franchise junkies! We only have to endure a few more weeks of Kaitlyn Bristowe’s horrible season of The Bachelorette before we are given the gift that is Bachelor in Paradise! Back for its second season, ‘BIP’ brings together male and female rejects from past seasons of ‘The Bachelorette’ and ‘The Bachelor,’ puts them on a beach, and pumps them full of alcohol, sun beams and the false hope that they aren’t destined to be Forever Alone.

Several media outlets have been revealing the Season 2 cast a little at a time, but thanks to ‘Bachelor’ Spoiler Guru Reality Steve, we now know the full cast! Steve claims that one of his sources spotted this cast list (complete with the dates that the castaways will be arriving) and tweeted it to him.

Warning: Some of the ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ castaways are men that are currently on Kaitlyn’s season of ‘The Bachelorette,’ so there are some spoilers below.

Let’s analyze these people, shall we?

 

Carly Waddell: (Chris Soules’ season)

Best remembered for: Always having funny one-liners about the other girls

Tenley Molzahn: (Jake Pavelka’s season)

Best remembered for: Getting dumped by Jake in favor of Vienna, and having a super-cute post-‘Bachelor’ relationship with fellow ‘Bachelor’ franchise star Kiptyn Locke.

Tanner Tolbert: (Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season)

Best remembered for: Being in the background on every group date

Ashley Salter: (Chris Soules’ season)

Best remembered for: Being batsh*t crazy, meowing during a date, being obsessed with “onions”

Ashley Ianconetti: (Chris Soules’ season)

Best remembered for: Her “Kardashian” look, crying when she didn’t get the “Princess” date

Lauren Ianconetti: (Ashley’s sister)

Best remembered for: Nothing. She’s never appeared on a ‘Bachelor’ show. Why is she here?

Jonathan Holloway: (Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season)

Best remembered for: Being the only person on the “rap” date who knew who Doug E. Fresh was.

Jade Roper: (Chris Soules’ season)

Best remembered for: Making farmer boy uncomfortable after he found out that she showed her naughties in Playboy.

Dan Cox: (Desiree Hartsock’s season)

Best remembered for: Nothing. Most ‘Bachelorette’ fans couldn’t pick this dude out of a lineup.

Jillian Anderson: (Chris Soules’ season)

Best remembered for: Having bigger balls than Chris, constantly talking about working out, wearing child-sized shorts.

JJ Lane: (Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season)

Best remembered for: Dressing like Scott Disick, having a weird bromance with fellow contestant Clint, smacking himself

Jared Haibon: (Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season)

Best remembered for: Looking like an elfish version of Ashton Kutcher.

Clare Crawley: (Juan Pablo’s season)

Best remembered for: Boinking Juany P in the ocean, talking to a raccoon during the last season of ‘Bachelor in Paradise.’

Juelia Kinney: (Chris Soules’ season)

Best remembered for: Being the un-merry widow, telling a sad story about her husband’s death during a pool party.

Kirk DeWindt: (Ali Fedotowsky’s season)

Best remembered for: Showing Ali his parents’ creepy collection of taxidermy animals during his Hometown Date.

Mikey Tenerelli: (Desiree Hartsock’s season)

Best remembered for: Hating on fellow mantestant, Ben, overusing the phrase “right reasons.”

Joshua Albers: (Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season)

Best remembered for: Allowing Kaitlyn to weed-wack his hair, having all the other guys leave him hanging when he told Kait that they all hated Nick Viall.

Joe Bailey: (Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season)

Best remembered for: Two words: Hair.Gel.

Michael Garofola: (Desiree Hartsock’s season)

Best remembered for: Being a federal prosecutor, dating ‘BIP’ Season 1 crazy Ashlee Frazier

Megan Bell: (Chris Soules’ season)

Best remembered for: “Quitting” Chris and leaving the show after an awesome Grand Canyon date.

Samantha Steffen: (Chris Soules’ season)

Best remembered for: Not much, except she dated actor Jeremy Pivon after her stint on ‘The Bachelor’ ended.

Justin Reich: (Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season)

Best remembered for: Again, not much. He was cut at the Alamo rose ceremony.

Nick Peterson: (Ashley Hebert’s season)

Best remembered for: Awesomely screwing his ‘Bachelor Pad 3’ partner Rachel Truehart out of $250,000.

Chelsie Webster: (Juan Pablo’s season)

Best remembered for: Spending little to no time with Juan Pablo, yet blubbering big-time in the limo after being eliminated.

Jaclyn Swartz: (Ben Flajnik’s season)

Best remembered for: Dry-humping Ed Swiderski while on stage performing a horrific version of “Sister Christian” during ‘Bachelor Pad 3.’

Mackenzie Deoigi: (Chris Soules’ season)

Best remembered for: Being the single mom who was jealous of her co-stars’ virginity, which she felt would give them a leg-up with the Bachelor.

Cassandra Ferguson: (Juan Pablo’s season)

Best remembered for: Having a kid with a NBA star, constantly being chased by Juanny P to have “sexy time.”

As The Ashley recently told you, two ‘Paradisers’ from last season– Lacy Faddoul and Marcus Grodd just got married, which proves that love can be found on this show. ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ Season 2 premieres Sunday, August 2 on ABC!