We’re nearing the end of tour of Teen Mom-ville, folks! With just one episode left in this season after this one, The Ashley is hoping that MTV has packed in a whole bunch of drama, court dates, and at least two more instances where Amber screams, “I’M DONE!” Everyone cross your fingers that MTV delivers the goods!
This episode kicks off in Tennessee, where Maci’s stressed out because Bentley has to have his tonsils taken out. While she’s worried about her kid having something surgically removed from his body and all, Maci’s most worried about having to take care of Bentley and Jayde alone because Taylor’s going to be working. (Um…is Ryan‘s mom out of town or something? Shouldn’t at least one of Maci’s kids be with Jen at all times?)
Bentley’s pretty excited about the whole surgery. After his tonsils come out, he gets to come home, relax and eat ice cream all week. So…essentially, he’ll be living the same life as his dad, Ryan…
Bentley must be attempting to be like his Mama as well. He rushes over to the fridge, opens it up and proclaims, “I need a beer or something!”
Yes. That happened. The Ashley can’t even make crap like that up.
Over in Austin, Sophia has lost another tooth. Most parents put a handful of change under their kid’s pillow when they lose a tooth, but, as we know Farrah isn’t “most parents.”
She makes a big deal of having the cameras follow her into Sophia’s room, where we find out “the tooth fairy” has gifted Sophia over $1,000! (Obviously, the “tooth fairy” has extra cash to throw around after going a few rounds in the sack with a fairy p*rn star…)
So, to recap, Sophia’s just made more than most people watching this show will make in a week. See, I don’t understand why people say this show is ridiculous. It is clearly a very accurate portrayal of life as a teen mom!
Meanwhile, Debra is downstairs, thinking of ways to convince Sophia to fund her next plastic surgery procedure. Deb’s cooked the gals up some pancakes for breakfast, and, because we know that Farrah & Fam are just cornerstones of the Christian faith, they make a big deal of praying before they slop down their Debcakes. For some reason, Farrah uses her baby voice to speak to the Baby Jesus. As you do.
After Farrah’s big prayer, Sophia asks why she gets over a grand when she pulls out a fang, but her dogs don’t get any money when they lose teeth. Debra straightens her sassy, cleavage-bearing top as she explains that it’s because “doggies don’t have souls.”
UM!? Farrah is sans-soul, but she seems to have no problem making money. Also….does anyone else kind of want to punch Deb in the liquid-lifted face for saying that dogs have no souls?
Farrah explains that she and Simon have begun texting again. (If Farrah ever decides to do a masochistic skin flick, this Simon character would be a great co-star. He clearly enjoys pain.)
Simon is coming to Texas for a visit, and Sophia requests that while he’s here, Farrah marry him…and then somehow have him change his face so he looks like “Daddy Derek.” (While this is certainly a disturbing comment, it’s no surprise that Sophia thinks faces are interchangeable. After all, Farrah gets a new face every six months or so, so new faces are old hat to Sophia!)
Farrah smiles at the thought of somehow reconstructing Simon’s mug so he looks like her deceased ex.
Again…The Ashley can’t make this crap up!
Next, we check in to see what Amber‘s up to. Leah is staying at Amber’s house, and Amber’s dog just gave birth to a litter of puppies. Matt seems comfortable with all of the baby puppies. Hey, let’s just be happy that for once it wasn’t him creating the litter!
There are puppies and people and poop everywhere. (So…it’s basically like we’re back in Amber’s house circa Season 2.) As if things aren’t hectic enough, it’s almost time for Christmas, so Amber & Co. decide it’s time to decorate the house for the holidays. Matt pulls out some sort of artificial holiday bush from a box and proclaims it to be the finest Christmas tree in all the land. (But…honestly, he would have said that about any tree that he didn’t have to pay for.)
After the Seasonal Shrub has been assembled, Amber tells her mom that she’s planning to ask Gary for permission to take Leah down to Florida for a vacation. Amber wants to go visit her beloved brother “Bubby,” and she’s hoping to also take Matt and her mom. (You know Matt’s not going to miss out on a free vacation!)
Finally, we head to Michigan to get an update on Catelynn. She and Tyler are back from Hawaii, and are happy to be reunited with Nova and, of course, Butch. Tyler regales his dad of tales of the trip, and then Butch reveals that while Cate and Ty were honeymooning, he was spending time with his own honey. Yes kids, Butch has a girlfriend!
Butch tells Cate and Ty that he and his new beau “enjoyed each other’s company…a lot.”
We find out that Butch is itching to move into his own place. Later, Tyler’s friend comes over and Tyler discusses how scary it is to think of Butch living on his own. It’s only been 12 weeks since Butch was released from the clink, and Tyler thinks it’s too early for Butch to move out.
Tyler’s friend (who seems to be doing her best to speak like Eminem, for some reason) reminds Tyler that he can’t watch over Butch for the rest of his life.
You know what would be an easy solution to this problem? Giving Butch his own TV show. No one wants to watch Farrah talk about her vagina mold business anyway! Let’s can this ‘Teen Mom’ crap, and give the time slot to a show featuring only Butch. Tyler can rest easy knowing that Butch is being watched via a camera crew, and we’ll get oodles more Butch! It’s a win-win!
Over in Tennessee, Maci’s house basically looks a Tennessee trashpit There are piles of laundry and crap all over, and everything is covered in stuff. Maci has a lot going on, y’all! Not only does she have to take care of both kids all by herself, but she is also stuck mailing Taylor’s T-shirts out to the leather pocket lovers of the world! It’s exhausting!
Somewhere among the piles of crap, Taylor is relaxing and, of course, sipping beer, as he does in every scene. He seems oblivious to the fact that his house looks like the city dump.
Later, Maci heads out for cocktails with her pal. (Anyone else find it hard to watch Maci chug drinks in every scene, considering we now know that she was with child when all of these episodes were filmed?)
Anyway, Maci tells her friend how overwhelmed and moody she is. She complains that Taylor isn’t pitching in with all the kid-raising and T-shirt-shipping and it’s pissing her off.
The next morning is Bentley’s surgery. Maci goes in to wake him up, but Bentley refuses to get out of bed. (Hey– he is Ryan’s kid, after all! That shouldn’t come as a surprise!) Eventually, Maci shovels her son out of bed and they head to the hospital. Tragically, MTV’s cameras were not allowed to film at the hospital where Bentley was getting his tonsils removed, so there is no footage of that. (It’s kind of gross that MTV even tried to get footage of Bentley’s surgery though, no?)
Later that day, Maci arrives home with a tonsil-less Bentley, who’s feeling under the weather. Over at Ryan’s parent’s house, Ryan reveals that he didn’t go to the hospital while his son was having surgery. However, Ryan does have a great excuse as to why he couldn’t go: Maci never called him or texted him. Ryan’s parents are obviously just embarrassed about the hump of laziness they’ve raised, and they call Ryan out for being a crappy parent to Bentley.
Ryan continues to blame Maci, and Ryan’s parents bring up the fact that Maci is probably tired of trying to catch Ryan between naps and that Maci has given up trying to communicate with him.
The next day, Taylor is drinking and Maci is complaining (so…business as usual). She says she’s overwhelmed and “finally” ready to ask for some help.
Wait now…finally?! Hasn’t Maci been pawning her kids off on Ryan’s mom all season? Why is she suddenly making a big deal out of asking for help?
Apparently, Maci is implying that she wants Taylor to help her. They decide to make a list of things they can eliminate from their lives. Taylor suggests that they hire someone to clean up after them or take care of their kids, but Maci isn’t thrilled with that idea. Ever classy, Maci offers to give free blow jobs to anyone who’s willing to wash her beer-soaked laundry.
AS.YOU.DO.
Be careful what you wish for, Maci. Butch may show up at your door, box of Tide in hand, ready to take that job!
In Indiana, it’s almost time for Amber to ask Gary about taking Leah to Florida. Gary arrives to pick Leah up, but Amber loses her nerve to ask him about the trip. Amber takes Matt and the producers out to dinner so she can discuss how she’s planning to ask Gary.
The next day, Matt is busy putting Christmas lights on the house (using masking tape, natch). Keep in mind that this is the man who is planning to fix up houses to flip them. Jesus God (Leah).
Over at Gary’s place, some random producer dude is trying to get the scoop on how Gary feels about Matt. Gary explains that he doesn’t dislike Matt, but he doesn’t trust him. (He does this while wearing a T-shirt that says, “Realize Everyone Ain’t Loyal.” I see what ya did there, Mr. Shirley! Very subtle!)
Gary says that Matt is a proven liar, and he’s worried that Matt will up and leave Amber and Leah, since, as we know, Matt has a history of peacing out when times get hard (or women get knocked up, whichever comes first). Gary states that he’s sure that ol’ Matt’s not going to give up this free ride on the gravy train with Amber, though. He predicts that it will be Amber who kicks Matt out.
Meanwhile, Butch is doing his best to learn this new fangled “Internet thingy.” He’s looking for rental houses, so Tyler comes over to explain how the web of Internets works. Tyler tells his dad that there aren’t a ton of landlords who are dying to rent to ex-felons who are just out of prison and have no money. Go figure.
“I’ve gotta try to live the American dream, man!” Butch protests after Tyler tells him that he’s moving too fast.
While Tyler insists that he’s not trying to discourage Butch from pulling himself up by his (prison) bootstraps, he does encourage his dad to take things slow and try therapy. Butch gets emotional when he realizes that Tyler still loves him, despite the fact that he treated him like crap for most of his life.
In Texas, Simon has arrived at Casa de Backdoor, and Farrah’s actually excited for his visit. Sophia is also excited about having Simon there. She hands Simon a rose, along with instructions that he give the flower to Farrah. Sophia’s obviously trying to play matchmaker, but it’s a little awkward, since we know that Simon barely tolerates Farrah. (It’s kind of like that episode of ‘Full House’ when Michelle tries to make her dad kiss her elderly preschool teacher but Danny’s like, “Um…yeah, no, thanks. I don’t want any part of this.”)
It’s almost time for Debra to go back to her own house. She’s clearly run out of clean clothes, which is the only explanation as to why she’s wearing Sophia’s tank top in this scene. Before she leaves, however, Debra wants to talk to Simon alone. Farrah is wearing a hat and giant sunglasses in the house, which can only mean that she’s once again exchanged faces and is trying to heal inconspicuously.
Deb and Simon go out to the patio (much to Sophia’s dismay) to chat. Simon says that he’s happy that Farrah is moving to LA, which is closer to where he lives. Sophia jumps outside and demands Debra stay away from Farrah’s boyfriend. (Hey- the woman steals clothes from her granddaughter, who’s to say that she wouldn’t steal her daughter’s man?!)
After Deb reassures Sophia that she’s not trying to bone Simon, Deb brings up the purpose of her little chat. Debra explains that Simon is very similar to Farrah’s dad Michael, so Deb is worried that he will have anger issues and passive-aggressive tendencies, just like Deb thinks Michael has. Simon is understandably shocked when Deb basically accuses him of domestically abusing Farrah.
Simon says that he’s definitely not an abuser, unlike someone who was once arrested for physically abusing Farrah. IN.THE.(LIQUID)FACE, Debra!
It’s time for Debra to go home, and Sophia sends her grandma off by beating her with a giant stuffed sea creature. As Simon and Farrah go outside to see Deb off, MTV makes sure to give us yet another glimpse of the porta-potty that the ‘Teen Mom’ film crew is forced to use while filming at Farrah’s house.
We go back to Indiana, where Amber is asking Gary to let her take Leah to Florida for Christmas. Matt hovers as Amber texts the Gar-ster, but Gary has yet to respond.
“I miss my family over Christmas,” Matt tells Amber.
Um…you’ll have to be more specific Matt. Which family are you referring to? You have about 100, after all!
Amber tells Matt that she hopes that they’ll get to a better place, trust-wise, with each other because, as Amber puts it, she has a “lot of trust issues.”
Well, finding out that your fiance has a bunch of kids you didn’t know about will do that to a person!
Matt proclaims that he and Amber have a near-perfect relationship. Oh Matt, that’s the most amusing thing you’ve ever said!
Next week’s episode is the two-hour season finale! Amber will get mad at Gary, Maci will get mad at Ryan, Catelynn will get mad at herself for being depressed and Farrah will get mad at the ‘Teen Mom’ producers…and basically, everyone.
To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Teen Mom OG,’ click here!
(Photos: MTV)
96 Responses
Dogs have souls unlike anyone from this trashy hypocritical faithed family of narcissists
Dogs are far more loyal than humans
HEADS UP FARAH……DO NOT FEED YOUR DOGS CHICKEN BONES…..OR PORK CHOP BONES…..THEY WILL PIERCE A DOG’S STOMACH WHICH WILL RESULT IN THEIR DEATH…..CHECK WITH YOUR VET…..I SAW YOUR THROW YOUR LITTLE DOGS A CHICKEN LEG. ITS NOT ABOUT HOW THEY SURVIVED IN THE WILD. THESE DOGS NOWADAYS DON’T HAVE THE TOUGH GENETIC MAKEUP WILD DOGS OR COYOTES HAVE….
I can’t wait until this week’s recap! I gotta ask, did Farrah actually say the reason people think she’s “trashy” because she is on Teen Mom? It couldn’t possibly have anything to do with the “sex tape” (it is PORN – I refuse to believe it was a leaked sex tape) with the dude doing things with her “backdoor”, “front door” and every “window” imaginable. She just wants to believe that the porn video doesn’t exist. Is it possible that this girl is that delusional? OMG, people?! She is a piece of work! Meanwhile, Debra feels that Farrah “deserves” a new house in LA, an “old house” just won’t do. What is up with Sophia being so slap happy? She is constantly slapping Farrah and Debra. While I would love to slap them both into oblivion, what is going on in that household that she has learned it is okay to hit people? Farrah is just an entitled, spoiled little bitch. MTV, please keep her off the show! Let her do the other thing on the other network. Teen Mom OG will be just fine. She talked to Larry, the producer, like a dog. Too disrespectful. This post is all over the place and just about Farrah. She just makes me so angry. The other girls are at least bearable and try to act decent. Thanks for letting me vent.
Well, in all fairness, we didn’t “let” you vent. We just don’t have a way to stop you.
Being on Teen Mom has made everyone lazy. It seems like Macy and Taylor are the only ones who work. Do they think they all are going to be on Teen Mom forever? Eventually they are all going to need to get jobs like the rest of us. Ryan seems very lazy, he isn’t an active Dad works or even goes to school. His parents seen to enable him by letting him stay at their house and do nothing.
Is anyone else concerned about Ambien’s complete change in attitude recently? She appears to be regressing further back to her old ways in every episode. I was actually pulling for her and had a lot of faith in her ability to turn her life around before she got tangled up with that perverty unwashed mass that she calls a boyfriend. He’s so creepy and clearly a fame seeking snake. He’s lied to her repeatedly and is always so negative about Gary and Kristina and it’s clearly starting to rub off on Amber. Amber and Matt need to get their heads out of their asses and do some self-reflection to find the answers that they seek. Instead of blaming Gary for all of their problems they need to look at the situation from his perspective and stop being so selfish. What they’re asking of Gary is a lot. I know as a mother myself, I would never willingly hand over custody to an ex, if he was a recovering addict who served time in prison and I expecially wouldn’t allow my daughter to be around a man who is also a recovering addict and who has 8 children that he checked out on completely. If the tables were turned and Gary had been the abusive drug addict and the one to go to prison and then upon his release, shacked up with another addict, no one would ever expect Amber to grant him visitation, let alone custody! The gender bias present in custody battles is baffling! Amber needs to stop being so selfish and put Leah first. She needs to dump the loser and concentrate on being the mother Leah so desperately wants and deserves.
Agreed but he sure seems to care for leah. I doubt that he does care very much; I’m just saying I can see how amberjack may be tricked because he is good at this long con thing he’s doing. He’s a very good manipulator and when he sees it unraveling, he throws a tantrum to shine the spotlight on his anger and play the ex-addict victim to confuse her. It’s sad really. She needs her bipolar rage to be treated and she needs some serious behavioral therapy for her borderline personality issues.
It does make you raise an eyebrow. But apparently money is a motivating factor for Gary. Amber is a recovering addict, but she loves Leah and is a good mom. Lead needs that interaction. Matt, on the other hand, can’t be trusted.
I about bawled when Butch was in therapy talking about his awful, abusive childhood- I’m surprised it was never mentioned in the recap. It made me feel so annoyed when Tyler tried to make the experience about him by saying “I know how that must feel since I grew up without a dad” Ok, Tyler, we get it- Butch wasn’t there for you. But your dad was severely beaten daily with no one to protect him and now he is a 53 year old felon who is sobbing like a baby- can’t you just let that be his moment? Did you ever stop to think that maybe, his life took such a negative turn as a result of no positive parental figures?
@Salt n pepper- It wasnt mentioned because it wasn’t something to make light of. Also, if you would like to learn more about Butch’s childhood, you can check out my 2013 book “Teen Mom Confidential.” It features a full interview with Butch, where he talks about his heartbreaking childhood. Tragic stuff :/ -The Ashley
Yes! I so agree with you about Debra’s “doggies have no souls” comment. What an @sshole. I figure that Simon pointing out that she physically assaulted Farrah was karma paying her back.
Also, I finally figured out who Catelyn’s counsellor reminds me of- Meri from Sister wives. Picture her blond.
Why is Maci so shocked and exasperated over the fact she has to take care of BOTH her kids? I mean…that’s kind of the point, right? Millions of Americans look after their multiple children, and very frequently the other parent goes on a business trip, goes to job training or is deployed. How on earth is this girl going to survive with three? Both her and Caitlyn must really be in denial about parenting.
Lol, yes either TWOOO kids or BOTHHH kids (insert her southern draw folks). Smh, can’t be so bad if she’s having number 3 with the beer chugger, her “fiance.” What a joke, his personal assistant with benefits.
I didn’t see it as much that she was shocked or exasperated that she had to take care of everything as much as it was she wanted Tyler to help out more than he was. We have also seen how much of a control freak she can be so it is just as possible he was trying to help. She was also probably feeling those pregnancy hormones exhaustion….is it just me or does she look totally pregnant in this episode? We now know she would have been between 3 and 4 months here.
Am I the only one that cringed at the convo between Caitlyn and Tyler? He confronts her about being depressed and she says all these untrue statements and he just sit and agrees with her. Her weight is out of control I think she sits and eats and does nothing all day. Her meals are the easiest thrown together crap she can find. Her baby going to her mom’s 2-3 times a week, thats overboard. When everyone including the psychologist say thats too much she back pedals and they all agree with her. Once a week for a few hours if you needed to get stuff done, but babies at that age don’t get into stuff… she’s easier now then she will be 6 months from now. Farrah is crazy, we all know that and we all see it. Her porta-potty for the production crew is so nasty. Really? You allow them in your house and with your daughter but they are too filthy to use your guest bathroom? Grow up. Amber and Matt are gross. Well she isn’t, but how he speaks to her and how he is always defending her and not talking about all his stuff in his closet. Neither of them are doing AA or any kind of work with sponsors. Dr drew brought it up and she flipped her shit. She’s one break up away from a binder. I have a hard time believing that Maci didn’t know she was pregnant. I could understand 2 3 months but 5.5 months of not knowing? She’s such a small frame she had to have notice weight gain especially being her 3rd you show more and sooner… No period all those months? No symptoms? She drinks A LOT. You always see a beer around or a drink. Not saying she’s a drunk but she does enjoy her beverages. I worry about that baby now.
Maci has PCOS so not having a period for 5.5 months is probably very normal for her. And it seems she DID have some symptoms but PCOS mimics pregnancy.
I have PCOS and it does NOT mimic pregnancy. PCOS symptoms are irregular periods, excruciating menstral cramps, insulin resistance, obesity, sleep apnea, acne, fertility problems. So yes not having a period for five months can be considered a “normal” occurrence but its easily treated with birth control pills to regulate your cycle. Obviously Maci was not using them and considering she has a history of unplanned pregnancy it really shouldn’t have been a shock. I kind of doubt she has PCOS to be honest.
I’ve said this before, but I find it offensive that she pretends to have an infertility problem. PCOS is associated with insulin resistance, as mentioned, weight gain, awful cramp pain, and a whole lot of other issues that are 100% worsened by consumption of alcohol. I don’t know anyone with PCOS who could manage to drink as much as she does, weigh as little as she does, and also have 3 children without even trying. As someone who struggles with infertility (not caused by PCOS) it’s really offensive and upsetting.
Thank you! I’m glad I’m not the only one. It makes me want to punch her in the face. I tried to get pregnant for two years and nothing happened and she gives interviews about “infertility” and is skinny as a rail. Girl please.
Your list of symptoms are lacking though… I have pcos which was diagnosed when I was 13. I weigh 110-115 consistently since having my son 10 years ago. But I weighed 92 lbs when I got pregnant and dropped down to 88lbs by 3.5 months pregnant because of how sick I was. If I wasn’t sick or if my boobs weren’t so filled out (and as pretty as they’ll never be again), I would not have known I was pregnant.
The only time I ever gained weight any more than 10 lbs over the typical was when I was put on a high estrogen birth control. All people with pcos don’t gain alot. My sister is the opposite of me. She has high blood sugar issues from it and gains weight while I have low blood sugar and do not gain.
Ya’ll say the symptoms don’t mimic pregnancy but I’ve wondered if I was pregnant many times, even when on birth control, which I can no longer take so I won’t let my husband touch me without a condom. Birth control makes me vomit alot unless it’s a high androgen type which makes all the other pcos symptoms worse.
I get the swollen and tender boobs as well as nausea every month even when I’m irregular, sometimes having no cycles for months and other times having it 2 times a month.
Now I’m not saying maci isn’t drinking while pregnant, as it seems she was. I’m just saying it is not fair to say she must have known and is using pcos as an excuse. Infertility is most definitely an issue with pcos. After having 12 or more cyst at a time for 6 months, my doctor said the scarring could cause issues. Of course that is not true for all women, maybe not even for me at one time as I got pregnant with my son while on the depo-Provera shot.
As for drinking… yes, it will make you feel worse and it will effect insulin issues moreso than not drinking, but I did not have issues or worsened symptoms with drinking a few years back. I do now though.
So let’s give maci then benefit of the doubt for a minute and just imagine (you can be pissed again after if you want)…
Pcos symptoms are known to worsen as we age and after all major instances of extreme hormone disruptions like pregnancy. So let’s assume maci was having some issues making her pcos symptoms act up for a few months after having jayde. She also drinks so she could have had a mix of symptoms from pcos and confusing hangover symptoms for pcos symptoms.
I’ve only had one child but I have 11 nieces and nephews and I know my sister’s had less and less pregnancy symptoms (nausea,vomiting,exhaustion,etc) with each pregnancy, so maybe maci didn’t have these as extreme as you or I did. Or maybe they were less commonly occurring so they were easy to confuse with being a busy mother of a 7 year old and a young baby who drinks and has pcos. Now maybe she also still had a baby bulge as no matter how small we are, each baby causes a little more of a kangaroo pouch. I’m not saying this is what happened, I’m just saying it’s possible.
I don’t usually extend so much benefit of doubt for people, especially drinking pregnant women or reality show “stars,” especially since maci actually often gets on my nerves… But I think she has proven herself to be at the very least, a mom who truly cares for her kids.
Taby I get where you’re coming from, no one is the same. However, you CANNOT use “infertility” as an excuse for getting pregnant.. THREE TIMES, or even two times! MAYBE one. Maybe you have PCOS but don’t struggle with infertility, if you did, you would feel like someone was stabbing you in the back everytime they used “infertility” as an excuse for why they got pregnant. It doesn’t work that way. I can’t get pregnant without spending thousands of dollars and going through a lot of pain, and it’s not fair to just wind up pregnant twice in less than a year and say you have problems getting pregnant.
Caitlyn and Tyler are just very lazy. They just have absolutely no motivation, which is sad because Nova should be motivation enough to start putting together plans for their futures. As far as Caitlyn’s weight, as much as Nova is with April, she can take an hour out of her day to stop by the gym, and cut her meals in half. Her head is starting to become too small for her body, and that’s an indicator that shes too big. I’m not trying to be mean at all, but she already gave herself diabetes while she was pregnant, that should’ve been a wake up call for her to get healthy. She literally made herself sick and put her life and her baby’s life in danger, because she wanted to “enjoy her pregnancy”. And she had the nerve to say that she can’t work out because she was so busy with Nova, but that makes no sense because Nova is with her grandma more than her mother. This just all stems from her being very lazy and lacking motivation…Maybe if Tyler got up and did something with his life….even if it’s going to the gym, getting a JOB, public speaking, ANYTHING…maybe that would help motivate Caitlyn to get up off her rump and get healthy, or do SOMETHING besides sitting in the recliner chewing off her hang nails.
What you said about Caitlyn, I completely agree she needs to listen to the people around her, but as someone who has been through depression herself… The first weeks/months you really do believe that what you think is right and what everyone else says is wrong. I hope she makes the connection soon and does start listening to the psychologist and others, but with Tyler just nodding and saying yes to everything she says that won’t happen… I hope April sees it soon and maybe knocks (not literally of course) some sense in to her :/
(sorry for any grammar/language mistakes, English isn’t my first language)
Debra and Farrah constantly blow my mind with their astounding lack of self-awareness (and their lack of natural body parts. I mean, they’re hardly recognizable as human at this point).
I feel like a family with 2 people simultaneously suffering from delusions is probably atypical, but not unheard of… however, mother and daughter simultaneously occupying THE EXACT SAME dream world is pretty hard to wrap my head around.
Maybe it’s like a really effing bizarre symptom of some incredibly rare neurological disorder that’s triggered by a combo of contaminated Botox injections and having a really annoying voice- Dr. House will show up, constantly reference Farrah’s backdoor, call Debra ‘grandma goop,’ come up with an “outside of the box” way to run tests on “people” that are easily 75% silly putty, misdiagnose them 3 or 4 times, and finally FINALLY identify and treat the illness. They’ll chat with House as they prepare to leave the hospital. He tells them that while they’re no longer living in a disease induced imaginary world, they’re both still total baby talking assholes with really gross silly putty faces… and unfortunately antibiotics don’t cure being a shitty person. Then a Damien Rice song will play while we see House popping a few pills and looking pensive, Deb applying body glitter from an economy sized tub while browsing Limited TOO.com (the camera pans out to reveal Debra surrounded by stuffed animals and one life sized cardboard cutout of Farrah), Sophia physically attacking and eventually attempting to strangle Whatever-Michael with a pink glittery feather boa, and lastly we see Farrah solemnly polishing a row of brightly colored ceramic backdoor replicas.
The credits roll and we realize that this was an episode of House all along. We breathe collective a sigh of relief knowing that the insane putty faced monsters were never real and the world suddenly feels a little bitchy.
The end.
errrr A little LESS bitchy. durrr.
Hahahahaha this was brilliant, CaTTfink.
I recently took the plunge and replaced every meaningful relationship in my life with binge watching House. It’s going well. My only regret is not doing this sooner. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m a fully qualified doctor now.
It’s never Lupus. lol
Right? It’s never sarcoidosis either, even though sarcoidosis would explain the blah blah blah.
We treat to diagnose 🙂
And omfg you nailed the “House Montage,” I miss that show haha.
HOOOOOLLLLYY SHIT!! That was so brilliant! That comment deserves a standing ovation. Just….. brilliant.
So sick and tired of Catelynn making a 4-course deluxe meal out of her fingernails (even when she’s wearing acrylic ones).
Sadly, between Catelynn binge eating her nails, Matt Baier’s oily haired close ups, and Sophia grunting like a troll whenever she wants some affection from Simon, I find myself flipping through the TV channels — until it STOPS.
Not gonna lie…I felt some type of way when Debbie had the nerve to say dogs don’t have souls….look lady, a dog has more of a soul than your demon possessed harlot daughter. And BTW…WHO!!!!! Gives their 6 year old over $1,000 for losing a tooth?! Sophia wouldn’t even know what to spend that kind of money on! Unless Farrah is giving it to her and then putting into some kind of trust for Sophia, Farrah needs to STOP IT and give that money to charity! Her daughter is already a terror in training! I would LOVE to see Sophia when she is 16 and giving Farrah as much crap as Farrah gives her parents, and everyone else for that matter. Maci…I just CAN’T with this girl…a MARGARITA!? Beer is one thing, still equally as awful…but TEQUILA!?! HARD LIQUOR!? That’s some of the hardest liquor out there! That poor baby! HOPEFULLY since it’s a mixed drink it was a virgin margarita…probably wasn’t…but lets just hope it was for the sake of that baby. And we all got to see first hand Matt’s master manipulation with getting Amber to believe that their relationship is “near perfect” PFFT!!!!!!!!!!!! The older and older these girls get the dumber they become….its like they all lose brain cells as they “mature”. Their 16 year old selves were smarter than their 20+ year old selves
in the scene where Maci is drinking the margarita they clearly show the waiter asking and checking her ID, so we know it wasn’t a virgin margarita 🙁
F*** you Debra and Farrah! Dogs have souls. All dogs go to heaven while you and your slut pig daughter will burn in hell
Ally
Best comment on here
Umm that Christmas bush that Matt pulled out of the box actually is a tree if you pull the branches away from the pole and arrange them. Are these people really that stupid?
This might seem a bit overdramatic but I am a bit shaky with rage over the comment about dogs not having souls. That brings back the TURNING point in my life when I started to question religion (when a church camp I went to at age 12 said “Animals don’t have souls, aliens do not exist, and if you think for even a second that God isn’t real, you’re going to hell”
And I was like “Welp… didn’t everyone just think that? I guess there’s no going back”)
I just…. Debra and Farrah have turned Sophia into a monster and now she will grow up preaching the exact same things and will believe that humans are waaaaay above animals since they don’t have souls. Just… UGH WHAT BULLSH*T.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I know this comment is almost a month old, but I feel the same way and had to reply.
I was raised Catholic. The Catholic Church is notorious for their belief that animals don’t have souls and don’t go to Heaven. I was only 5 when I was told that after my dog died one night. When I got to school, one of the nuns (it was a parochial school) noticed I was upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her and said I missed him and couldn’t wait to see him again in Heaven. I remember her exact response to this day because of how much it upset me. She said, “You won’t ever see that dog again. Just like every other animal, he didn’t have a soul. He didn’t accept Jesus as his Savior, therefore he was unworthy of entering Heaven.” That was the moment I started to turn my back on religion. I didn’t want to go to Heaven if God was so unloving of animals.
Does anyone know about Maci’s Parents? You don’t see them & she never references them. Even if they don’t want to be filmed you would still think she would talk about them, that they would watch the kids, or atleast the baby while she was away.
She has mentioned before in a few interviews I’ve seen, that her parents do not like being in the public eye. They still help her out and have a relationship with her. We just don’t see them.
Sooo why is Amber helping contribute to the overpopulation of (backyard-bred) dogs???
I agree! So irresponsible! Get your dog fixed!! There are already too many dogs who need homes out there!! Will any of these former teen moms learn some responsibility? If anything, it’s like doing the show has made it worse because they get money for lazing around, doing nothing and having drama in their lives!
Caitlyn and Tyler make me angry…they moaned on and on about how much they wished they had their first child, and now they have their own and barely take care of her! What happened to doing something with their lives? They are incredibly lazy and make excuse after excuse! What happened to going to college and working as adoption counsellors? I bet Cait and Tyler’s daughter is going to feel a lot of anger and jealousy over her sister’s life with her adoptive parents. Clearly they are much better parents than Ty and Cait are. And as for the baby going to April’s 2-3x a week? April did a horrible job raising her and recently they considered adopting Cait’s younger brother to get him out of April’s house, but it’s find to send your newborn there so often for your Mom to look after? SMH. These two need to grow up! Tyler is so conceited and full of himself these days. They all think they are big stars now.
Amber… How desperate is she to be still living with and considering marrying this lying loser? He is a parasite and doesn’t give a crap about his other kids. Even if he had them during a bad phase in his life…they are still his kids and why isn’t he trying to repair those relationships and be a better Dad now? Why does he have no money or career of any kind. Marrying him would be the biggest mistake of her life. She should be going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings, working out, going to school and trying to be a good Mom…instead she is with this loser. What is wrong with these people that they are so blind?
Farrah and Sophia and Debra? Can’t even go there. They are so rude and so delusional and phoney and the stuff Deb has done with her body and hair and stuff. I read she’s going on auditions now for acting jobs. Clearly they all want to be on the tv money train. And Deb…you are an idiot. Dogs have pure souls because they are all about love, unlike your daughter who is a horrible person. If anyone is soulless, it’s her! As for Sophia? She is going to be a huge problem when she gets to be a little bit older. Her rude and entitled attitude is already evident. You reap what you sow. ‘Nuff said on them.
And then there’s Maci! Pregnant again in spite of the fact that she can’t even take care of the two she already has. How will she handle another newborn in the mix? Again with the lack of responsibility and lack of doing anything with her life school/career wise. Her boyfriend just lazes around and drinks. Great role models – not! Were they using protection? If they weren’t, she shouldn’t have been drinking if there was a chance she was pregnant. Plus, like Amber, I get the feeling that she desperately needs a man in her life and just wants to get married.
All the opportunities these girls (and guys) have had with all the money and they have done nothing except become more lazy and irresponsible. It’s pathetic. I had a lot more hope for a few of them before, but they’ve proven that it was all talk.
you’re 100% right on everything you just said!!! couldn’t agree more.
They wanted to be adoption councellors?! I forgot this! I’ve only watched on and off, but it seems they have long defined themselves in life as ‘Carly’s biological parents; the couple who gave a child up for adoption’. Initially, like with the baby footprint tattoos, I thought that was a way of coping with their decision, but years later I feel they havent found a proper way of moving on? It seems from the way they palm Nova off every chance they get; they just wanted her to redeem the *decision* they took with Carly – but not actually to fill the *parenting* void. They have not progressed their lives very far to make this a better more providing situation, nor are they bothering to enjoy Nova in her own right, the way a couple who’ve stayed together should want to do the next chance they get to be parents. It must surely dawn on them that they’ve finally got their baby – great – but the benefit of time they’ve had to make this a better situation has amounted to nothing…really they could have just kept Carly for all the difference it has made stability-wise, but ultimately they should just not have had Nova yet. Back to the adoption counsellors thing – I’ll bet they liked the idea of it as they felt they could relate & it would be easy to fall into, but probably bored quickly of needing to actually work and study for it…given they are both doing sweet nothing with their lives, depressed and lost; they sure don’t have anything to offer other people in need of help! You’re right, they need to grow up and get real.
Let’s be thankful that she isn’t contributing to the overpopulation of Matt’s kids. Imagine her and his kid. Ugh
I hope that Farrah prayed in her baby voice to the Baby Jesus that Butch’s new lady friend is Babs.
Please let that be so…Butch and Babs together? The new MTV power couple right there.
THIS. I love you sorcery woman. Let’s make this happen.
YESSSSSSSSS! Pretty please, Baby Jesus?
My man Butch was busting all kinds of nuts when Tyler was gone.
It’s looking like Amber has already split with Matt, I hope so, I have faith in her that she will see or has seen the light and threw his loser user ass out!
Please let this be true!! I don’t know if she possibly could’ve picked a creepier creep to move in with her and her daughter mere hours after meeting in person (after he watched her on TV for years learning EXACTLY how to manipulate her) And I hope against hope that he didn’t do anything to hurt Leah. It concerned me greatly the way her demeanor changed when she saw him after getting back from Disney, and then she didn’t want to stay. Very telling. Amber’s such a fool. And I think Gary’s naïve to let Leah anywhere near him.
Where did you hear this? I just Googled (I don’t use social media) and saw one news story of a break up end of January, but that they both went to OK! magazine and Twitter to state they were very much together as of February 2nd. But I hope she did dump his snaggle-toothed ass.
No they are still together but let’s k=p hope alive.
hes such a creep. when EVERYONE says someone is a creep, then HE IS A CREEP! Amber needs to stop being stubborn, swallow this huge pill and DUMP HIS ASS
well first of all, she hasn’t been defending him in the last week or so. Secondly on Valentine’s Day she said she was with Leah, no mention of Matt. Also he has child support hearings on March 22nd. He owes in the 6 figures of child support for the 7 kids including the 2 that Amber knew about Brooklyn and Andrew Baier. He didn’t even pay child support for oldest son Christoper who he had with his only legal wife. He’s Amber’s age. Her brother Shawn has been told everything about Matt, so he knows, and Amber knows now too, because of all the women that have come forward. I bet 100% that she will not marry him in October or ever.
I hope you’re right! and I also hope that the next guy she goes for is better…girls like Amber hardly ever upgrade…she went from Gary, to a child molester, to Matt…Mind you Matt is a million times better than a child molester, but that’s not saying much.
Hey Pat Brown,Is it necessary to post names of the kids?Are you showing off that you are privy to info or just insensitive?
All these kids are innocent and don’t need to be dragged through the mud.
All the responsible writers have left the kids names out of print.Think about doing the same
Does anyone else get really uncomfortable when they do close-ups of Matt’s face? Like he just has this super creepy look about him that makes me cringe when I look at him
I’m a patriots fan. It really pisses me off that he wears their hat. He’s gross and always look vacant, he’s just there to do whatever makes amber keep him around
He has the same look about him the guy who sexually assaulted me did, so that’s probably just your instincts telling you to run far far away!
I know. He does look creepy. Also, sometimes he looks like he hasn’t showered in weeks.
You think that too?
I always have to at least wash my face and hands after looking at him.. he looks like he could spread ‘ewww’ through the TV and into my house.
Nasty shit-show that he is.. *shudders*
Yeah, he looks greasy. It’s disgusting.
He’s so disturbing. What does he do to make Amber want to be with him? Urrrrgh.
it’s the vacancy in his eyes. The eyes are the windows to the soul and when you look at him you just see vacant eyes that are magnified by his coke bottle glasses. Dude just has this souless look about him
True, and as Farrah’s mum said; dogs don’t have souls! In this instance she’s bang on the money!
His hair looks super greasy and he looks like a pyschopath. Especially when he’s talking about Gary he see him trying to control his anger but it’s like he can flip out any minute.
Amber using nicknames for Leah is really annoying. Sge calls her booger butt i think. It’s weird.
I almost died when Deb told Sophia that dogs don’t have souls. Honestly? Because Sophia doesn’t have enough issues already.
Does Maci work? I didn’t think she had a job but she mentioned working from home so she must do something.
It’s kinda annoying to see so many girls on social media acting like Tyler is a super romantic, perfect guy. He seems like he has good morals and loves his wife. But i really don’t think we should put a couple on a pedestal when neither works to ensure a good future for their child
Maci is working from home by filming Teen Mom OG
No She works in the Marketing department at some company. The company wants nothing to do with Teen mom. That’s why it’s never mentioned – she’s mentioned it quite a few times i’m not sure why you people throw that out there.
And i’m by no means a Maci fan.
Yes!!!! Thank you! Amber’s nicknames for Leah are so annoying!
Can I just say that the entire episode was a masterpiece??? The whole Butch “livin the American Dream” albeit in some halfway house no doubt made me proud to live in the USA. Him spelling creigs list on google and finding out he did the nasty with some woman……..it was much more than I ever could have wanted.
Hey I don’t know what type of ghetto YOU all grew up in, but getting over a grand per tooth was pretty custom here in middle classville where I live!! And praying????even God is like……no Farrah…..it’s fine. Go away. Sophia is such a little brat!! Look who she has as role models!!! She will be on 13 & pregnant. Oh….do dogs have be nice no souls????? She has a demon spawn for a daughter and she talks about DOGS??? Debra you suck.
Amber is an idiot. There is nothing left to be said about her.
Maci……notice how MYV zoomed in on her drinks???? Tee hee. And yes, she needs a nanny and a maid. Who doesn’t? Perhaps she can get a full time bartender in her house too.
Caitlyn…..she is just boring. I agree with the other person on here who said we could just check in 5 yrs from now. Without Butch, her segment would be a snooze.
LOL 1,000 bucks for a tooth was normal for you in “middleclassville”? Alright. We believe you.
Here are my thoughts:
Amber: I want to be on your side, but I just can’t. Matt is using you and you are allowing it. He lied about the number of kids he has and who knows what else. You also do not understand what it actually means to co-parent with Gary. 7 year olds don’t need to be included in conversations until plans are made. (Disclaimer-they all don’t seem to realize the difference between being a parent and a friend).
Farrah-She is suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. Sophia does not stand a chance in hell…every single one of them are bat shit crazy. Can’t wait for her to be starring in Teen Mom-The Next Generation. They have no boundaries and they are giving her an unrealistic view of the world. Simon is just there because he is either stupid or crazy. Maybe Farrah is paying him to be her boyfriend…either way gross!
Maci-I agree with the Ashley…it is disturbing seeing her drinking knowing that she is pregnant. NO amount of alcohol is safe for a baby…end of story. She thinks she is overwhelmed now just wait till she has two under two.
Catelynn-Same story different week. MTV could do a check-up special with them 5 years from now and they would be in the exact same place. I feel bad for her, but she has to make some changes.
Omg i got so mad when amber was talking to Leah about the trip. Why get her hopes up before talking to Gary? Plus Gary has to be the bad guy if he says no. That’s not a fair position
Catelynn won’t ever do anything. She says she wants to be a stay at home mom but she really just wants to do nothing. Like she’s done since getting pregnant with Carly. Idk I’m a stay at home mom but i worked before having my daughter and will go back to work when she starts school. I feel like Catelynn just uses it as an excuse to do nothing and put all of it on Tyler to handle. He and Butch are even carrying their storyline
You’re right.. he and Butch are their entire story. She literally does nothing. Does she even see her friends anymore?
And Amber does nothing but play games with Leah. It’s sad.
I totally agree with all your comments. Please stop eating your fingernails when you are being filmed Caitlyn!! How much is the show paying Simon for appearing as Farraha’s boyfriend? Sophia is one scarey looking child. I keep waiting for her head to spin in circles.
I cannot for the life of me figure Simon out. Is she paying him tooth fairy money to stay??
SERIOUSLY! It is OBVIOUS that he does not like Sophia, he tolerates her and is nice when shes not smacking him in the head, but you can tell that he’s not a fan. Farrah has GOT to be paying him so she doesn’t look like the only one without a man since it’s been like that for her since day 1. She would always cry and complain about being single, she got “stood up” on that couples therapy show, the next best option for her is to pay somebody to pretend to be her boyfriend, and that’s the only thing that makes sense as to why Simon is willing to put up her and her family. I could never imagine willingly marrying into that mess
I think MTV is paying him, not Farrah..
What about the scene when she was picking out a ring? I wanted to kill myself.
Amber still doesn’t seem to understand how to behave in front of Leah. I cringed when she was asking Leah if she wanted to go to Florida and telling everyone else that Leah was coming to Florida before she even talked it over with Gary. As much as I don’t really like Gary he is the better parent because he actually tries to protect Leah and wants what’s best for her. Amber seems to want Leah to create a visual happy little family. I do believe Amber loves Leah but she still just doesn’t get it when it comes to being a mom.
then you know she is going to curse gary out for not letting Leah go to FL. Any sane man who has 100% custody of his child would NOT let her go to FL with a man he doesn’t trust. Amber gave up her rights to Leah and now this is what she has to deal with. Gary has all the say.
Right? When it was Leah’s birthday Amber was carrying on and on and on about how bummed out, hurt, and disappointed she was that she couldn’t spend the day with her daughter- which is totally understandable. After all, Amber put the birth in birthday. Birthdays hold a different kind of significance for the parents and Amber wanting to be close to Leah on the anniversary of the day she became a mother is reasonable and I felt for her… But at NO POINT in all of her venting and moaning did she mention Leah’s feelings. She never (that we saw anyway) recognized that Leah might feel sad or hurt that her mother wasn’t there on her day. Amber clearly loves her daughter to the moon and back. I believe she genuinely wants to spend time with her because being with Leah makes Amber loved. That’s why people get cats and make friends.
Leah is a person, not a purse dog or an extension of her mother (or father). Leah the sweet 7 year old girl, a person in her own right, needs to be the priority. If Amber could just see past Amber, I think she might just be fantastic. I really do hope she’s able to get there.
I can’t wait to see the kids in 11 years…. especially Gracie. ….. sophia well, we know…..Farrah 2.0
Gracie is gonna be going tit for tat with Sophia. They’re both going to be bad in their own way…Gracie with seeking attention from people and Sophia for obvious reasons…lets just hope Sophia doesn’t make a porno
Debra accused Simon of domestic violence??? Did I miss something??? When did anyone even hint that he put his hands on Farrah? This woman is just as crazy as her daughter. Sophia is being raised by a bunch of psychos. I feel so sorry for that kid.
Farrah has said alot of crazy things, but never about Simon
I also want to know if this “abusive” Michael is the same one all three of those shrews used to scream at and intimidate every single episode in seasons 1-3 (the third being Farrah’s sister). If so, sorry – not seeing it, soulless Deb.
Yup, same Michael.
Yes I thought the same thing. How is pushover Michael abusive??
She was shit talking him about verbal stuff being considered abuse too.
Oh, and yes Debra is insane. Founding gene of the female line that we’re all watching right now. Debra, Farrah and Sophia.
Since Sophia is almost feral, we can all look forward to the next in line speaking all guttural like those creatures from “30 Days of Night”. Won’t that be fun to watch!
Have you seen Disneys The Good Dinosaur. If not go google Spot, from that movie. That critter looks just like Sophia, except cuter.
ha! You’re spot on!! lol! Literally!