Jenelle Evans has a lot of experience pushing babies from her nether regions, so it’s no surprise that she was recently chosen to star in a commercial promoting Laboraide, a mouthguard-type product that supposedly makes it easier to expel a child from your loins.
Jenelle and her soulmate, David Eason, both star in a just-released commercial for the product and, well, it’s downright creepy. But…The Ashley can exclusively reveal that Jenelle made a ton of money for being a part of this commercial!
In the two-minute ad, Jenelle gets to show off her stellar acting skills again, which we have already seen put to good use in weird Instagram ads for weight loss tea.
As hysterically awkward as this commercial is, Jenelle is laughing herself all the way to the bank. The Ashley’s insiders tell her that this deal was floating around and that Jenelle scored about $90,000 for being in this commercial (and all of the promo work that will come with it.) And, no, that is not a typo- she made at least ninety thousand dollars for doing this. She was also given some stock in the company and a small monthly paycheck as part of the deal!
Since The Ashley realizes that many of her of her readers are out of the country and may not be able to watch the video of the commercia and see Jenelle and David in all their cinematic glory, she has chosen to “recap” the commercial for you all.
The video starts off with David wheeling a laboring Jenelle down the white-lit halls of a hospital (or possibly heaven?) There is no color on either side of them as they head down the hall so that Jenelle can expel the Spawn of David from her loins.
The creepy voice-over lady (who may or may not be the same woman we know as the “Your call is very important to us, please stay on the line” lady), tells you that “You are pregnant and you are powerful. You are bold and you are beautiful.”
(Did anyone else keep thinking that this sounds like the stop-smoking tape Chandler listens to during that episode of Friends that he’s trying to stop smoking– you can hear right here starting at the 1:04 mark? Just me? Ok…)
Next, Voice-over Lady makes sure to tell you that the very act of squeezing a child from your nether regions is very dangerous. But…don’t worry, guys! Jenelle is safe because she has David by her side. Oh, and “Laboraide,” of course!
Jenelle reaches back to grab David’s girthy paw, as we learn all about Laboraide, “a unique product that will help you bring your child safely into this word and reduce the risks of complications during child birth.”
Jenelle pops her trusty Laboraide into her mouth and suddenly, child birth becomes instantly easier, now that she has something to bite down on as she pushes. (With her other two pregnancies, someone probably threw her a stick to gnaw on while the child was shooting out.)
Now that she has her Laboraide in, Jenelle can breathe easy, and have stronger ab muscles…or something. (She didn’t even have to have “gym time with Nathan” in order to get those abs of steel!)
Jenelle gets down to business, pushing and breathing (while being careful not to smear her lipstick, or knock off her jumbo pearl earrings naturally). Luckily, she has David, who is, for some reason, all dressed up like Dr. McCreepy. He’s monitoring her breathing (made so much easier by Laboraide!) She’s even able to give David a loving glance that say, “I’ve got your spawn emerging from between my legs right now and I like it!”
Jenelle bears down twice for her “hard labor” and all the nurses nod in approval at Jenelle’s impressive birthing skills. Because she was smart and used Laboraide, Jenelle didn’t have to have a C-section, or have the nurses Hoover her baby out of her hoo-ha!
Finally, the baby arrives. (It’s not Jenelle’s real baby, of course, but it’s somebody’s baby!) He/she is placed in Jenelle’s arms, as David rubs his face on the poor kid.
Thrilled with her Laboraide experience, Jenelle gives the camera a final approving look. She’s proud that she was able to bring this random child into the world!
You can be as happy as Jenelle by purchasing your Laboraide for a mere $49.95!
Watch the full commercial below:
41 Responses
How ironic this is especially since we all know now her children were born with drugs in their system.
Safety first huh Jenelle?
I laughed so effing hard!
Hey my avatar looks like it’s going to give birth…should get a laboraide!!!
lmao! Outstanding recap XD
90k? ok sure whatever but a monthly paycheck too? That is quite a score for that pair of idiots.
I think the commercial is ridiculous and it totally made me think of Chandler and the “Strong Woman” tape, but as a birth professional I do have to say that your mouth is directly linked to your vagina. I remind women in labor all the time to not clench their teeth and try to relax their jaw. 50 dollars for this device is insane though!
Lol at the phrasing
Highly doubt the claims they make but also, I doubt this is safe. I wasn’t allowed to keep a cloth between my teeth during labor.How do you communicate propperly with this overprised piece of plastic in your mouth?
This product is only designed for one thing: get money out of the pockets of women who worry about giving birth.
Why on earth is David dressed like he’s prepped for a c-section?! That undermines the whole point of this bullsh*t product! ?
Chinelle has a chin like that of Kylie Jenner circa 2013…. Eww
I love how Chinelle pretends to push twice and then stare at Uncle Dave creepily at 1:08 lol. This is the weirdest thing Ive viewed all year so far. I was crying, screaming, cursing, and exhausted during labor but clearly I should have used this useless shit instead ?
You got that right. 18 hours and I wasn’t paid $90,000!
I am by no means a fan of either of them, but I thought it was kind of cute. They did a better job than I was expecting. Product seems completely useless, but make that money, girl!
What in the actual f did I just subject myself too ?
I’d do the same commercial and throw in a sequel if they paid me 90 grand.
Lurch has never looked better!!
I read this just after I woke up this morning and was still in a sleepy haze so I thought I dreamt it. But no, this is real life…
Great! Let’s make it easier for this bi÷ch to pop out more kids!
All I can do is eyeroll. Oh BTW Ashley what is up with the popups? Now if I go to this site using my phone as soon as you click on the article some popup will appear and the automatically direct you to the popups’ site and there is nothing you can do. I have pop ups blocked and you can see or read the article. Or it will open for three seconds and then direct you to the ad’s site. So sad about this your teen mom articles are my daily pick me up. It only doesn’t do this if you are on a desktop.
@Welfare– It’s been a nightmare! I’ve had a tech team working on this for two weeks now, trying to get rid of this! Trust me it is not wanted, and I want the glitch gone as bad as all of you! -The Ashley
@Welfare– I recommend downloading “Malwarebytes Anti-Malware” app on your phone. It helps to eliminate any of these weird popups on any site! -The Ashley
What is that or causes it? I always get it when looking at stuff like 20 pets jenelle has abandoned and it’ll pop up at like the 16th or something so I can’t finish it (does it on others too, yours didn’t for me tho.) Just don’t know why or how it started within the last year. Btw, jenelle straight up is looking creepy as hell.
UBT want Bates Pbug! Ahaahaa! You win best name!
Ok, wait. What?!
It is a sad world we live in when these girls are making Hundreds of Thousands of dollars just because they spread their legs when they were 16.
Why so jelly,much? Are you saying that your spreading your legs was a letdown and you should have gotten more or that they should have gotten less for opening their legs?
And keep having babies with their man of the moment, (while not even having custody of their first).
Not worth 90,000 but good for you janelle & David … good job! Enjoy all that hard earned cash…
YES that quote about being strong and bold and beautiful instantly reminded me of Chandler! With the towel on his head and everything!
When I gave birth to both of my two children I was given oxygen. Wouldn’t this odd contraptions get in the way of the mother receiving oxygen?
That too. And I think it is a matter of time before the first laboraide has to be removed from a troath. While the staff is making sure the mother doesn’t suffocate, the baby has to wait. I would rather have a pump or C-section than a child with MBD (Minimal Brain Damage, caused by lack of oxygen during birth).
Well I’m not shocked they made David cover his mug. He’s got a face only a monther…& a desperate idiot like J could love.
First I have to ask, why not just wear a double mouth guard like some do in MMA? Or even just an upper mouth guard? Second, if Jenelle is endorsing that would be a sure fire way to keep me from ever purchasing the item or even taking it seriously. I don’t know this for certain but I feel that there are others out there who would agree. I’m sure that her endorsement is a plus for some, but I’m not one of them. Also was the $90,000 paid to her but David was paid separately and different amount or was the $90,000 to get both of them?
I’ve never given birth so I can’t know this for an absolute certainty, but I’m thinking if you are pushing something the size of a cantaloupe out something the size of a grapefruit, I don’t care what you have between your teeth – your jaw is going to be tense while you are pushing. And I don’t understand how a mouth guard will help prevent birth complications. I watched the commercial and I heard what VOL said, but I’m not buying that a mouth guard will change a potential day and a half of labor and 3 hours of pushing into 45 minutes, 2 pushes, and no sweat.
But if this is all true – wouldn’t it be cheaper just to use a wet washrag from the hospital instead of a $50 piece of plastic?
I have given birth 7 times and you are correct. NOTHING is going to magically do away with complications or be a magic fix for labor issues. If somebody came at me with that thing during labor I would have a few choice words for them.
And you KNOW Jenelle didn’t use it during her labor.
Your jaw probably is tense. But your attention is on the overwhelming need to push and excruciating pain. You don’t notice your jaw. Not even on the radar.
When I gave birth there was far too much yelling and screaming for anything to go in my mouth.
Your assumption is spot on.
Jenelle’s creepy smiles at the camera were bad enough, but then the robot voice over lady kept saying “vack-you-um” instead of vacuum. Why??
I was beginning to think that I’ve been pronouncing “vacuum” wrong my whole life. ???
I love how David is suited up like he’s going into a c-section instead of Jenelle just pretending to push a baby out of her blown out vag for like the millionth time….
I was thinking the same thing lol
What the…