Note from The Ashley: Yes this is a week overdue but…hey, The Ashley has been focusing on growing her Mary Kay business and cooking canned ravioli.
Well gang, it’s been a few weeks since we checked in with the gals of Teen Mom 2. It’s always exciting to see who’s gone to court (answer: everyone), who’s bought a new expensive car (answer: everyone) and who’s one mini-crisis away from screaming “MONKEY!” and barreling their expensive car through the side of their ex’s house. (answer: everyone except maybe Chelsea)
This episode starts off in South Dakota, where Chelsea is preparing to mark baby Watson’s latest month milestone via Instagram photo. Cole notes that the photo would be even more fun if there were two more Deboer babies lying on the blanket with Watson. Chelsea fetches the set of dead animal horns to mark the month and puts them next to Watson.
Chelsea and Cole discuss how seeing their son lying next to animal bones is making them feel strange. Since they aren’t seeing molecules and their legs aren’t all sweaty and restless, they realize that they have The Baby Fever. Cole is hoping that Chelsea will pop out a couple more kids in the next few years, Jenelle-style. Chelsea declares she is ready to add to her litter at any time.
The reindeer of South Dakota better hold on to their horns! Chelsea’s feelin’ fertile!
Speaking of those that are fertile, we next check in with Jenelle. She and Lurch are now living large on “The Land,” and Jenelle is wishing that her oldest son, Jack…er, Jace, could be there to build forts and whatnot with Lurch. (And, of course, take “happy family” photos for Instagram with Jenelle, in between all the door-punching, yelling and backyard screaming.)
Jenelle declares that if Barbara would just “move to Florida” Jace could take his proper place under the pile of illegitimate children on “The Land” and everything would be great.
Wait…is she trying to set Barb up into some sort of “Golden Girls” situation? Because, if so, The Ashley is retiring right now and HIGH! HIGH-tailing it down to Miami to move in with Babs, so we can eat cheesecakes, and sit around the kitchen table chatting about her “Bitch of a Daughta!”
If only…
Jenelle reveals that she and Barb will be going to court soon to battle for Jace, and Jenelle hopes that she will at least get a visitation schedule set in stone. Obviously, it will have to revolve around Jenelle’s vacation schedule, but it’s a start…
I mean, those margaritas aren’t going to drink themselves in St. Thomas, guys!
“My number one choice is gonna be, I get full custody,” Jenelle says as Lurch grunts in agreement. “Ultimately, it’s what the judge decides.”
Wait, what? You mean the custody of Jace won’t determined by Babs and Jenelle going head-to-head in a Ke$ha karaoke showdown in which America gets to vote for a winner? WTF?
Jenelle and Lurch aren’t worried that a judge will choose Babs over them to care for Jace. After all, they are living on The Land now, so there’s more room for Jace to roam and run than what he has at Barb’s House of Misplaced Grandchildren. (Also, why are they talking about Jace like he’s a golden retriever?)
“I’m trying so hard to save this before Jace has a f**ked up childhood,” Jenelle says.
Um…then you better jump into your time machine, Jenelle, and set it for 2009 so you can put a Trojan Extra Slim on ol’ Andrew! That’s basically the only way to save this poor kid from the inevitable 20+ years of therapy he’ll need. (Hell, even I need therapy just from watching the trainwreck that has been poor Jace’s life over the past eight years.)
Next, we boot-scoot on down to the holler to see what Leah has been up to. Ali is home from the hospital and is recovering, but she is still having breathing trouble and will have to go to her doctor in Columbus.
At Corey‘s place, Miranda is getting all gussied up. (Maybe Corey’s taking her down to the Sizzler or something?) She’s painting her nails and asks Corey (the man who has been wearing the same camo hat and lime green T-shirt since George Bush left the presidency) for his opinion on the color.
Soon, the conversation turns to more serious subjects, like Ali’s trip to the ER. Corey says that Ali’s X-rays didn’t reveal anything but he’s still very worried about her getting worse in the future.
Next we head up to Delaware, where Kail is angry with Javi. (So…basically it’s business as usual.) Lincoln is about to start soccer, so Kail realizes that having a protective order against Javi will mean that he won’t be able to attend Lincoln’s games.
To prevent poor Javi from having to sit in a tree, 100 yards away and watch the kid via binoculars, Kail has decided to drop the PFA she has against him. She realizes that Javi longer poses a threat to her life (or something) so she calls him to let him know that she’s dropping the protective order.
Javi is relieved and they vow to try to be civil to each other at the boys’ sporting events. (So…I guess we won’t be seeing Kail picking up Javi and throwing him through the window of the snack bar any time soon…sigh.)
Finally, we go to Florida to check in with Briana and her assortment of brain-dead and broke baby-daddies. Her newest baby daddy, Luis will be making a rare appearance because MTV will be filming Briana’s next doctor’s appointment.
(Let’s face it: Luis would have to sell so much weed just to equal the amount he makes for about five minutes of arguing with Briana on camera. It’s just a good business decision to crawl out of the woodwork when MTV comes to town!)
Briana says that Luis has been looking for an apartment to move into that’s close to Briana’s place. She’s thrilled that he will be close to Baby Stella.
The next day, ol’ Luis graces us with his presence. He comes to the appointment and sits there with a bored look on his face. While Briana’s feet are still up in the stirrups (and she can’t kick him), Luis breaks the news that he’s not planning to move anywhere near her. Briana is devastated that Luis will be living so far away from her and their daughter.
It’s cute because Briana still thinks this waste of space is actually going to come around for his kid. Bless her heart. Luis could literally be living in the dumpster behind her apartment complex and he wouldn’t go up and help with this kid. Anyone could see that!
Producer Alexis (who, by the way, looks like she just jumped off the screen of a Myspace profile from 2007) is quick to pounce on Briana after Luis leaves. She reminds Briana that Luis had said that he was going to move closer to her so he could help with the baby. That does it; soon Briana is bawling outside the clinic, thinking about what a mess her life is.
Something tells me this won’t be the last time Briana will find herself bawling outside of a clinic, thinking about what a mess her life is.
“I don’t wanna do this by myself!” she wails.
I mean, when you bone a guy you just met in the champagne room of “da club” and you get knocked up, you just expect more from him, ya know?
Back in South Dakota, Chelsea is telling her friend Brittnee that she and Cole have The Baby Fever.
“I just want so many Baby Coleys!” Chelsea squeals.
It sounds like those flannel sheets on Chelsea and Cole’s bed are about to get a workout!
Later, Cole and Chelsea are trying to figure out where they will have their (second) wedding reception. Chelsea vows to keep her loins a-quiverin’ for Cole’s love until after they have the reception, so that she is not pregnant (again) at their wedding.
Meanwhile, Babs is chit-chatting with Producer Kristen about the upcoming court date she has with Jenelle. (It must be such a relief for MTV to finally be able to use producers to have these conversations with the cast, instead of scrounging to find some random “friend” –or assorted street youths, in Jenelle’s case– to film with.)
Barb says she’s feeling pretty good about the court date, but Jace is very upset about all the drama. Babs says that Jace is now in therapy, and that he recently cried and begged Barb not to send him to “The Land” to clock hours with Mommy Dearest and Lurch.
Babs says Jace doesn’t “wanna go ova” to Jenelle’s because Lurch and The Spawn of Lurch are mean to him when he’s there.
Producer Kristen just sits there, wondering if she’s a “mandatory reporter.”
In Delaware, it’s the first day of soccer for the boys. Javi arrives to see the boys play and immediately Kail and Javi start bickering. Lincoln starts screaming that he doesn’t want to play soccer. He’s clinging to Javi and refusing to run with his team, but eventually he’s kicking the ball around and having fun. Kail is relieved that Javi was able to help Lincoln, and was not forced to yell instructions to his son from the parking lot.
Next it’s time for Isaac’s game, and Javi stays to watch. He sits in a kiddie chair and Kail accuses him of being too close to her. Javi’s like, “Pssh, you wish!”
There’s a mild amount of flirting going on between Kail and Javi. (It’s like almost Corey and Leah level here, guys.) It is starting to feel nice…until Javi remembers that Kail is pregnant with some other dude’s child. He asks her how she’s doing and asks when she is due, and Kail snaps back to her normal self and tells Javi she’s not telling him.
“You always have to make it weird!” Kail says.
Still, though, the flirting continues. Will Javi’s Yeezys be under Kail’s bed tonight?!
Meanwhile, Briana is talking to her friend “Shirley” on the phone. (I’m still convinced that Shirley is in the witness protection program and that’s not her real name because no one under the age of 80 is named Shirley.)
She tells “Shirley” that Luis has once again failed to follow through on what he said. “Shirley” seemed to know this was coming and even predicts that Luis will eventually go MIA and tell Briana it’s because he’s “spending mad money on gas” to see the baby. She predicts that he will then tell Briana, “Yo these tolls be killin’ me.”
Do people really say things like this? I thought people only said crap like this in Eminem songs and stuff.
It is, of course, a tale as old as time for Briana. After all, her first baby daddy Devoin gave her the same excuses when she tried to get him to come see Nova.
In West Virginia, Leah is dropping off Addie at Jeremy‘s mother’s house. Leah demands a kiss from Addie but Addie refuses to kiss her.
“Just like her daddy!” Leah jokes.
Um….awkward…
Once Addie has been deposited, it’s time for Leah to take Ali to her doctor’s appointment in Columbus.
In North Carolina, things have gone from bad to worse between Jenelle and Babs. Jenelle claims that Barb refused to allow Jace to come to “The Land” the night before so Jenelle and Lurch decided to play Nancy Drew and track her down! They scurried down to a restaurant, where they found Babs dining with a friend, Jace and one of her other assorted grandkids.
Since Jenelle couldn’t call the camera crew in time (and/or the paparazzi) Lurch used his big oafy paws to record the whole thing on his phone.
We see Babs walking out with her crew, and yelling at David for “takin’ pictas” of her. Jace looks mildly terrified because he seems to know this is going to end in someone getting strangled in a bed sheet and going to jail.
We hear Jenelle yelling that Babs was drinking while having three kids in the car, and Babs screams that she didn’t have anything to drink. Jenelle seems upset that her brilliant sting operation isn’t working, and starts screaming that she has “pictures” of Babs. (We can assume that they are pictures of Barb drinking, but The Ashley is hoping that they are actually just a series of glamour shots.)
Babs is getting increasingly angry and charges at Lurch to get him to stop filming her. Her sassy orange hair is flapping in the breeze as she attempts to remove the camera from David’s paw but then spins it around to get the kids into the car.
Jenelle proclaims that she “just came to say hello to Jace” and had no intention of trying to frame her mother for drunk driving. Barb pulls out her Jitterbug flip phone and calls the cops and starts telling Jenelle that she only had one sip (ONE SIP!) of wine at dinner. Barb says that ol’ Lurch is a pro at the drinking and driving, but Jenelle denies that.
“I tried my best!” Jenelle declares as she hugs Jace goodbye.
“I love you Jace!” she adds dramatically, in hopes that the kid will think he’s minutes from an on-the-road death.
Lurch tells Babs that she should just hand over Jace to them, and Barb says she will never hand Jace to them, especially not to Lurch. She corrals the assortment of kids into the car and both claim that Jace rats on the other party when they are with him.
I think that’s healthy.
Lurch is screaming “I LOVE YOU JACE!” and poor Jace is probably under the seat with his bike helmet on, bracing for his impending death.
Later, Producer Kristin is talking to Jenelle about her “Jace Rescue Mission.” Jenelle explains that when Babs shot down her request to see Jace that day, Babs mentioned that it was Cinco de Mayo and that she had plans with her friends. Now, as we all know, Jenelle does NOT approve of a party lifestyle of any kind, so that kind of talk about a “friend fiesta” worried her. That’s why she had to track down Babs in order to save Jace from impeding doom!
Jenelle explains that they found Babs at a Mexican restaurant, and that Lurch was casing the joint, snapping photos of Babs having a glass of wine with dinner.
“I’m going in there!” Jenelle says she yelled once she saw Lurch’s photo evidence.
Jenelle says that it wasn’t right for Barb to be drinking in front of the kids. I mean, doing drugs? Sure, why not, but drinking the Devil’s water on the side of your enchilada combo? Hell no!
Producer Kristen looks confused (and also like she wants to start looking for a new job). Jenelle explains that she and Lurch followed Barb to her home, and that–CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?–Barb wouldn’t open her door and let these two angry knuckleheads into her house!
Lurch apparently started prowling around the house and peeping into windows and he saw Barbara’s car in the garage. That was enough for Jenelle to call the police, and when the poor cops came out, Jenelle claimed that Barb may be “passed out” from all her wine, with wayward grandkids running amok through the house.
So a few of North Carolina’s finest had to go into Barb’s house and listen to her and Jenelle yell about each other.
Babs apparently told the cops she didn’t want her “Nancy Drew of a Daughta” on her property.
“After not answering the door for two hours!” Jenelle adds. “I banged on the door for two hours!”
So…lemme get this straight. You and your back-from-the-dead boyfriend stalked this woman, tried to frame her for drunk driving, then headed over to her house where you rang her doorbell and banged on her door for TWO HOURS before calling the cops on her for not letting you in so you can yell at her?! And you want sympathy from everyone?
W…T…F…
Kristen pretends to be on Jenelle’s side while the rest of the crew just stands there silently, with their heads hanging down. They are obviously feeling bad about contributing to this madness.
Barb is now refusing to answer Jenelle’s calls, and Jenelle is convinced that Barb’s attorney is probably “really scared.” He didn’t realize that Nancy Drew and her trusty troll-like sidekick Lurch were on this custody case!
Both Jenelle and Lurch are positive that their efforts will help them win the court case.
Finally we head to Florida one last time to see Briana talk to Luis. She leaves Nova with Brittany to go sit out in Luis’ car (which is, to be fair, probably also his house right now). Briana tells Luis that he shouldn’t move so far away, because it’s a waste of gas and toll money.
In fact, he isn’t saving money at all, Briana says, by renting an apartment on the cheap side of town, because he will be spending so much on tolls and gas to come see his daughter!
There’s an easy solution for Luis, though: he just won’t come at all then! Problem solved (and toll money saved!)
Luis is still trying to entertain Briana by acting like he’s going to be around when the baby is born. Luis promises that he will do “whatever he has to” to support the baby, even if he has to get a second job. Well bro, in order to get a second job, you’d need to get a first job. Just sayin’…
Briana tells Luis that she doesn’t’ want the new baby to grow up in a bad situation like Nova is. She’s still trying to pitch the adoption idea to Luis– stating that adoptive parents could give the baby vacations and singing lessons and whatnot. Luis is still against the adoption and is vowing to “better himself” for his child.
Good one, Luis!
That’s all for this episode! Until next time!
(Photos: MTV)
111 Responses
Watching this week’s teen mom 2. Is Chelsea the only mom with common sense.
I don’t think I can watch this show anymore. It is too sad to watch them abuse Kaiser.
Speaking of animal bones, I don’t understand how Chelsea can be such a huge animal lover but then have no issue with hunting.
Where is Pete the Pig?
Oh her behalf..I love animals and would never harm one, ever!! I have 9 cats and dogs that I took in and feed and care for. I love and protect them. That being said I was raised in a house where we were poor and my dad provided us food because of hunting. We had deer rabbit and squirrels, anything he could get for us to eat and we were happy and had full tummies. But I still grew up to be a kind person (when it comes to animals).
I grew up in a hunting family too. Nothing was killed just for sport, and though we could have purchased meat at the store, it certainly did help not to have to. I love animals. I can not stand the thought of killing anything. I have no problem with hunting if it’s done with respect.
Easy, the hunters code is track it, kill it, eat it. For animals such as deer that are over populated, it actually helps them to thin the population so that there is few competition for food and mating, and also prevents animals from freezing or starving to death during the winter, by giving them a quick and clean death. A real hunter, never takes an animals life for no reason, and always does right by the animal, and cooks their kill/uses its pelt. (Proud owner of two special needs animals, and I assist people who need to find home for sheltered/stray animals)
I am so fkin sick of Juhhhnelle blaming her mom for “keeping” Jace from her
Dumbass was moving from place to place, relationship to drug, drug to jail to drug to relationship to jail, in any other case, Jace would be in CPS/foster care/adopted.
She treats her mom like a babysitter. Except less than that, cause she expects so much more from her for literally nothing.
The
I completely agree!
Has anyone else almost confused Kail’s new friend of the month for Chelsea’s friend Chelsey?
I honestly cant believe that Jenelle and David get away with how they treat those children on TV. Just the verbal abuse alone is sickening, then throw in the way they toss around Kaiser like a rag doll and punish him for being a toddler is so out of line. I think Barbara is doing her best, but she should have never let Jace go to Jenelle’s house under any circumstance. All visits should have been at her home so she could supervise. She had a justified reason to keep Jace away from Jenellle’s boyfriends. The abuse he has witnessed has already begun to effect him negatively, and it’s evident in the way he interacts with Kaiser and abuses his Grandmother. Barbra needs to put Jace’s needs first and now I fear it’s too late with the court order in action. He is doomed to become his mothers boyfriends in adulthood.
Yeah in the newest episode they are so concerned w talking bad about Barbara that they yell at kaiser for coming into the kitchen w his toy and immediately scurry him out of there…just so they can get back to their fantasy land talk.
Jenelle: “I think she’s afraid”
Spoiler Alert: She wins!
“Breeding stock?!?” That is so nice.
I got a term for Jenelle:
“CUM DUMPSTER”
Have more babies so you & your soulmate can keep on abusing.
The Ashley, you have out done yourself! this is a hilarious piece you wrote!! you are an incredibly talented writer. you have such a distinctive writing voice. BRAVO!!!! ((cue applause))
I hate to be a creepy Mrs Robinson type, but I just want to see more of handsome Coley’s face!!! he sure is per-tay.
Cole is cute but that voice tho….he’s like a male version of Cheslea with his baby muppet voice
Is it just me, or is Jenelle extremely jealous of Chelsea?
oh yeah! INCREDIBLY JEALOUS!!
“I think that’s healthy”.
The Ashley, you sound just like Georgia Nicolson! 🙂
Oh my god. You are so right.
“then you better jump into your time machine, Jenelle, and set it for 2009 so you can put a Trojan Extra Slim on ol’ Andrew”
————//////————–/////———–
I died, @theashley. Legit; soiled myself, cleaned myself up and went straight to heaven. That’s how rich that was ?
Is anyone else bothered that both Jenelle’s sons have separately said they hate David to their other guardians, and Jenelle’s really motherly response is, “tough he’s going to have to get over it because David’s here forever.” #1. He probably is not. #2. This is why Jenelle shouldn’t parent. It’s just sad that she refuses to protect her sons from what is clearly an unstable, angry male. But Jenelle can’t attract anything other than a degenerate because she’s a degenerate.
I feel bad for all those kids.
Wait, did Kaiser tell someone he doesn’t like David? I know Jace has, but I didn’t know Kaiser did too.
Nathan has stated on twitter, that Kaiser is terrified of David.
Awww, Poor roll! I really hope that all of her kids get taken from her. Not that Nathan’s dad of the year or anything, but Jennelle and David are terrible and don’t deserve those kids.
Jenelle can’t even protect them from herself. Why would she protect them from anyone else? ?
I think it’s hilarious that dumb and dumber think that stalking, verbally harassing and videoing a person without their consent is making them look good for the judge. “I think she’s afraid .” Afraid of what?! No self respecting law professional would find that footage helpful from their stand point. It CLEARLY makes THEM looking fucking psychotic though, so at least we have that proof.
First of all Jenelle is an awful ‘mother’ and David is completely manipulative and in control. He acts like her relationship with her kids and their families is his job to manage. If he is saying he doesn’t open a beer or ten while bbqing after dragging those poor kids out on his crappy boat then he is lying. They can claim whatever they want about Barbara but who would want to go to that house. It’s unstable. The kids wander around that land with no parental supervision at all!
Babs told Jenelle she COULD see Jace on Mother’s Day, but without David present. Instead of being a mature mom and seeing her first born on Mother’s Day for a few hours, she throws a fit and doesn’t see her son. In David’s Neanderthal mind, David not let Jenelle see son without David there – grunt. David scared Jenelle be nice to Babs and David not want that – grunt.
Babs told Jenelle she COULD see Jace on Mother’s Day, but without David present. Instead of being a mature mom and seeing her first born on Mother’s Day for a few hours, she throws a fit and doesn’t see her son. In David’s Neanderthal mind, David not let Jenelle see son without David there – grunt. David not like Jenelle be nice to Babs – grunt.
Jenelle has a car and a license – there was nothing stopping her from seeing her son, except for David.
Watch out everyone.. Jenelle and Lurch are the new Scooby Gang and are going to drive around solving crime in between their time trying to frame Barb!
Well, they have enough time on their hands to do so since they dump the kids in daycare but they’re not busy WORKING and/or parenting full-time like productive adults. Who the heck uses daycare when they don’t have a job?! If Ensley isn’t in daycare yet, her slot is probably reserved. Jenelle deserves the MTV paycheck less than the rest of them.
Christine, glad to know I am not the only one who skips through Farah and brianna’s segments! But I also have been skipping through kails as of late too. Just can’t stand watching people who have no respect for other people, make the same stupid decisions repeatedly and won’t take responsibility for their actions! If this keeps going the way it is I’ll end up fast forwarding through the whole show ? which is a shame, because It is my only guilty pleasure…
I skip through Farrah and briann’s segments.
Sometimes Chelsea’s only because of the baby voice thing her Cole and her friends have going on.
They are grown ass adults act like it
I feel like they only added Briana because Chelsea has her life together, the sperm donor won’t be filmed anymore, and she won’t let the sperm donor upset her. She’s grown into a mature adult, which means lack of drama. Briana has baby daddy drama, and is an idiot.
As for Jenelle…ugh. Maybe she should take a good hard look at her life? Can you imagine how hard the police would laugh if she called them and said, “My mom had one sip of wine! She’s drinking and driving!” Especially considering her own history and the history of her soul mates.
And on last night’s episode Babs said that Jace didn’t want to see Lurch, and Jenelle screamed about how she didn’t care and Jace has to suck it up. How about put your son first and look at why he doesn’t like/is scared of your newest soulmate? She doesn’t give a s*** about her kids’ happiness and safety, just that she has a man.
They added Briana to force viewers to get invested, in my opinion. TM3 didn’t work because there was too much going on. MTV knows they can’t keep the 8 girls around forever and is hoping they can use this strategy to launch a TM3. I bet it is highly likely that they add a fifth girl to the OG cast next season, and next year take those two out and pair them with all new girls. Seems like a solid plan…people will watch and get attached to two of the stories, then watch the new season and get attached to the other two. They’re just looking to prolong the cash cow ?
I agree, Kail does not realize how good she has it. i guarentee her new guy is not even in the same ball park.
Short take: am I the only one who hears Jenelle do her famous screaming sob or is it sobbing scream “I WANT MY SON BACK!” and yell at the screen”You never had him in the first place, bitch.”
Yeah haha along with the “LEAVE MEEEEEE ALONE” ?
No, I am pretty sure that we all heard that. She’s SO loud!! That’s getting really old.????
Brianna casually mentions “work”. does she have an actual job?? she was talking to her daughter and she said “sorry I couldn’t go but I was busy with work”.
I heard that too! She is the most like an actual teen mom compared to the others, but that won’t last long once the MTV gravy train gets going for her! She’ll be driving a brand new Range Rover in no time!!
I love your reviews so much, I giggled all the way thru this which is a huge compliment. I have a very odd sense of humor and it runs in the family, i think we might be related, lol Lurch? ❤️ ambush? ? Im dying. Thanks so much I needed to laugh today.
Briana seems to cry a lot when reminded of her poor choices and messy situations.
I just wish she’d cry while thinking how little these baby-making fools in clubs have to offer her – then RUN in the opposite direction.
Didn’t you mean: “I love you Jace!” she adds *dramastically*
LOL!!!!
Logan Lucky spoiler alert: one of the characters says “dramastically”. I was like OMG THE WRITERS WATCH TEEN MOM.
OMG. I laughed hysterically and my husband looked at me and was all ‘what is so funny?’
Janelle should thank God for her mother. Without Barbara, Jace would be in foster care. Instead, she’s being an ungrateful brat!
I’m not surprised she tried to frame Babs for drinking and driving. This is Jenelle. She has no moral or maternal bone in her body. Poor Babs must have been so embarrassed to be harassed in public like that. Especially from her own daughter! Jenelle is absolutely disgusting and does not deserve any of her children or even future children. Of course she didn’t answer the door, she was trying to protect the THREE KIDS she’s raising, you fucking stupid bitch. What did you expect to happen when you showed up and started trying to break into her house?!
So funny!! Such a funny commen..
Uhm this wasn’t meant sarcastically so not sure why the thumbs down.
Right, I thought that she had signed her rights over a long time ago and that it was forever? If so what’s all the back and forth to court about, didn’t Babs for all intents and purposes adopt Jace? It’s so funny to see Janelle and Lurch talk about how she’s definitely going to get Jace “back” this time ‘cuz she’s doing “good” now and Babs is just scared. I recall this exact same conversation with at least two previous soulmates lol.
Unfortunately, Jenelle just gave Barb custody. She didn’t relinquish her parental rights so this nightmare is probably never ending
From my understanding, it was suppose to be a temporary agreement but I THINK after a certain amount of time it became permanent. Like from a legal standpoint.
Legally, I believe Jenelle signed over custody. Period. But the understanding was that it would temporary, meaning once she got her sh!t together, Barb would sign him back over. But, of course, she never did. I don’t think a time period was ever agreed upon, meaning it was indefinite.
The fact that it’s 8 years later and we’re still sitting here thinking about all of this ?
I have a feeling this was NOT David first time hunting down/stalking a woman…Creepy Creep.
((sobbing hysterically)) thank you for doing the recaps again. I thought that I would have to possibly watch this garbage show. but I understand. those ravolis aren’t going to cook themselves.
Poor Barbara gets the brunt of the hate from Janelle but all Barbara is doing is protecting jace. David is obviously mean to him and jace is scared of him. It’s so sad. I’m so proud of Barbara for standing her ground when it comes to jaces happiness.
It’s so sad that Janelle has never gotten therapy to deal with her co-dependency issues. If she keeps collecting babies from every soulmate, she’s going to have 15 by the time she goes through menopause. If Lurch acts this way in front of the camera I can not imagine how he is when the cameras leave. Poor Kaiser legit looks scared and uncomfortable in his own home and he has no respite like Jace does to get away. The fact that Lurch tied her down so quick and already wants to have more kids with her shows that he is working on his long term retirement plan of child support from that train-wreck, piss-poor excuse for a mother, so sad that she can’t see this. It’s a sad state of affairs when your only talent and only means of making a living is your uterus.
Um, Jenelle saves lives in the medical profession, remember?! Or rather she COULD save lives if she could pass a background test. No doctor is going to hire an assistant who has repeatedly admitted she was a heroin addict and has multiple assault arrests on her record. Dustin is a good lawyer, but he doesn’t have a magic wand that will erase all of Jenelle’s stupidity.
Does Lurch have a job? Did he have a job prior to becoming soul mate #12? And I’m sorry, his ex has to be a serious hot mess of custody of the daughter was given to Lurch and Jenelle. Yikes!
Who is the kids mom??
Your right about her being more fkd up then UBT tho.
Where are her moms parents not to step up to the plate ???
Soulmate number 12. LOL!!???
I wonder what she thinks she’s saving people’s lives from by taking their temperature and weighing them before the doctor comes in.
Can you imagine the look on Jenelle’s lawyers face when her and David strolled up and presented that video?!
For real! He’s going to be like, “Ya’ll are gonna have to find a new lawyer. I can’t be trying to help you gain custody of your son if I’m also trying to keep you out of jail for this shit.”.
So like…Why are people defending Jennelle all over facebook and what have you? She’s never done a single thing to better herself for her children short of going to rehab for a month back in 2010(?). Why hasn’t Babs used the MTV crew as character witnesses in court to terminate all possibility of Jennelle ever having custody of Jace? I get that MTV doesn’t show the full story, but any idiot can see that Jennelle has never, and almost definitely will never be a positive influence in her children’s lives.
Jenelle’s fangirls flock to the fb page. The favorite excuse is “no one is perfect!” Ummmmm no one is expecting perfection, just basic maternal instinct. If anyone thinks Jenelle is a good mom, CPS probably owes them a visit.
The sad part is those women have children of their own now (one or two are even teen moms themselves prob) and look up to her! I can’t understand it either, some people are too stupid for words.
Thanks so much for doing a Teen Mom recap, The Ashley!
When is Briana ever going to get it thru her thick skull that if you hook up with losers that you hardly know and get pregnant, chances are they won’t be there for you or their kids. All she does is cry every episode and whine and nag Luis, who is bored out of his mind being there with her.
Jenelle and David are the worst. The fact that they actually thought this little stunt would convince a judge to give them full custody is hilarious. They only thing they succeeded doing was making themselves look insane. Yelling and carrying on, accusing Barb of being drunk, in front of Jace and his cousins. Weird that David and Jenelle thought Barb was too drunk to drive but only wanted her to hand over Jace and nota Jenelle’s nephews… Jace can thank Jenelle for his f*cked up childhood. That poor boy has been so damaged by his “mom.” Thankfully the judge saw throughly Jenelle’s bs.
and if they REALLY thought she was drunk, why not call the cops then? But no…they just let their precious Jace get in the car with her… Idiots.
A guy I worked with had a term for girls like her. “Breeding stock”. Not good for anything other than giving birth. I know the term sounds super offensive, but he never used it freely. Just to describe a woman we worked with who had children from every one of her relationships, that she’d abandon as soon as she got a new boyfriend and was knocked up again. At the time she had 4 kids, and only bothered with 1 of them because she was with his father. Needless to say, she left him with his father, and no longer has contact with him because she’s in a new relationship and knocked up again. Jennelle reminds me of that. Abandons Jace with her mother so she can be with Kieffer, Gary, and Courtland, gets pregnant by Courtland, aborts it, meets Nathan, has a planned baby with him immediately, maintains custody of Kaiser, but doesn’t bother with him much now that she has David and Ensley. Jennelle seems to only want her kids for ratings. I wonder how much longer poor Ensley has in her mothers arms before they start leaving her in the crib all day because Jennelle doesn’t feel like being her mother anymore.
David looks like he’s in witness protection.
Lol
Kail is from HELL!!!
Best recap yet, hilarious! Why doesn’t David keep his beak out of Jenelle’s business when it comes to custody issues with her sons? I’ve seen him on many occasions telling her what to say when she is on the phone with either Babs or Nathan! It’s none of his friggin business, he’s not even their stepdad yet and he has the nerve to say that Nathan can’t have Kaiser and Babs cant have Jace…F*@k off and concentrate on your own 3 kids to 3 different women (one of which you don’t see)! The way he was so easily angered when he was doing the lawn was scary! Lately all they do is argue and is it me or has anyone else noticed how Jenelle keeps complaining about being in the new house/land? I think she’s too secluded for her own good and she’s started feeling it..Kail is just a rotten person, through and through! She’s another one (like Jenelle) who uses and abuses the law to suit them..They should be fined for innapropriate calling of the cops and pfa ordering! On the latest episode she is complaining about Javi requesting child support, too friggin bad! If the boot were on the other foot she would do the exact same and she has already with Joe! They have 50/50 custardy which means Isaac is with his dad 50% of the time yet he is always with Javi and Linc (from what I see on snapchat), so how much time does she actually spend with Isaac? Javi is probably my favourite now..He has a good job in the airforce, he’s really family orientated and hays off to him for standing by Isaac! Did anyone see on Snapchat where he said someone he let in his house had stolen one of his wristbands for Disney and then later on that day he found it placed on top of his trash pile on the street..I wonder who it was?
I love Chelsea, she’s got her life together and Leah is doing better now she is concentrating on her kids..Brianna, meh, her segments are boring and seem the most forced, like the adoption storyline is quite obviously fake and all she does is complain about a situation she could quite easily have avoided, seeing as she has gone through this before!
I did see the Javi disney wristbands on snapchat…Bet he takes both boys to Disney!
Yes I think he will take Isaac too! Kail doesn’t realise how lucky she is to have 2 great dads in her kids lives! Now she just needs to stop thinking they both bow down to her and be more grateful! No wonder Vee gets pissed off.
By the way he was talking.. ” Im gonna file a PFA on you” and stuff like that, he was hinting that it was Kailyn that stole it..
Lurch looks just like the guy dressed like a vampire in the music parody video, Trickin It To The Treats.
WILL THESE FUCKING PEOPLE PLEASE FIRE JENELLE ALREADY! MY GOD! She has not only ruined her own life, but 3 children are involved now, one of which you SIGNED YOUR RIGHTS OVER SO YOU COULD GET HIGH ALL THE TIME. ITS ON FILM! FOREVER! Gosh dude poor Jace. Poor Kaiser. Poor Ensley. Poor us for having to suffer this shit. MTV really wants to boost ratings? Fire this trash bag. Kail too. These “little girls” are disgusting. Be a fucking parent and stop thinking with your vag for once! I mean JESUS Lurch looks like a walking, living, breathing police sketch of someone who robbed a gas station of condoms, Newports, and 40’s
Well said
Except…….he didn’t use those condoms clearly, lol, Jenelle will be knocked up again within a year.
It looks like the whole beard, moustache and hair are all attached to eachother and just stuck to his face ?
Kailyn always runs to the law when she doesn’t get her way.
Chelsea is doing much better in her parenting skills with aubree. She always needs to be that stern with her and not talk to her like a baby bit as a young girl now who needs to learn to act like a grown up.
I feel really bad for jace. He is all messed up and I don’t think there is going back to normal for awhile.
Brianna is an idiot. It is never completely the man’s fault. She also had to have had sex to have that child. She knew the consequences. Stop complaining.
I hope Leah continues to be proud of what’s she has left behind. She’s doing so much better.
David looks like he is wearing a fake beard and mustache. I def wouldn’t open the door for him.
He is klown kreepy.
Jenelle is just acting on what David is constantly putting in her ear… he hates Babs and just wants Jace back out of spite… they both do.
Yes. And they act like they came out smelling like roses by going to the restaurant and banging on barbs doors for 2 hours. Janelle and David bot are lucky they were not arrested. Also jenelle whining about not having jace on Mother’s Day…uhm hello it’s Barbara’s mother day also. David is a moron for thinking Barbara is gonna lose custody, especially after they intentionally tried to provoke her. Doing that stuff in front of three small boys shows how crazy both of them truly are.
Not to mention that in order to deserve a Mother’s Day, you need to actually be a mom. Jenelle hasn’t parented Jace a single day of his life. That was Barbara. So Jace was right where he belonged on Mother’s Day.
I thought I was going to hate Briana being on the show but I actually like her the best because she is the only one that doesn’t say 50 times an episode “I’m not talking about that on camera’ “that’s private’ etc. I really thought I would watch this show until it went off the air but I am getting so sick of the other girls being unwilling to show their actual life which is what they are getting paid to do.
Where do I start.
Why do all these girls keep flirting with and wanting their exes back?! What is done, is done and cannot me undone. But I think they all just want to bone them and nothing serious again, lol.
Jenelle really found someone alike in David. I can’t believe they tried to frame Babs and make her look bad. Jace must be scared to his mind. Guess what, Jenelle, you f*cked up his childhood the moment you decided drugs and boyfriends are more important to you than him. Without your mother his life would be even more f*cked up than it already is. You are not his mother and never will be. F*ck you!
I think Leah is doing great, all things considered (her past with drugs, two divorces, daughter with disability) but the joke about Jeremy was extremely awkward.
Okay, I do like Chelsea much more than the other girls but why are they talking about having more when their son is only four months old?! Back to back pregnancies are not good for your body so I hope it was just a joke and they wait a few years or AT LEAST A YEAR! Lol, she doesn’t need to become a new Maci (good mom but two back to back pregnancies).
Briana, YOU CHOSE THOSE MEN WILLINGLY, YOU SLEPT WITH HIM AND GOT KNOCKED UP BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO (I don’t believe for a sec she didn’t see it coming), NOW YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO COMPLAIN WHY HE IS NOT STICKING AROUND?! YOU BARELY KNEW HIM!! I hate how she keeps on complaining but doesn’t realize she has herself to blame. Yeah, he is a pos, I believe that but YOU decided to have his baby, now deal with it! I’m sure Luis will just stick around as long as MTV is filming, then will disappear completely out of his child’s life as much as Devoin has. LEARN STH FROM THIS, DON’T CHOOSE DEADBEATS TO BE FATHERS OF YOUR CHILDREN! But again, I think she will keep on making the same mistake over and over again.
Kail, I don’t know what the PFA was all about but I doubt it was so serious if she just dropped it. And now you want him back?! Nope, not gonna happen, guy moved on (didn’t he date someone or Madison at that time?), your CLEARLY did too with getting pregnant with someone else so quickly! I will forever think her last pregnancy was a ridiculous carelessness but I hope baby Lo (no name yet?! It’s been over a month!) will grow up in an honorable man regardless.
“Back to back pregnancies are not good for your body”
WHAT? :eyeroll:
I got pregnant with my son when my daughter was 7 months old. They’re both fine – both in college now. And I was fine too. Super easy pregnancies and labor and delivery.
just because yoy think something worked for you doesn’t mean that it works for everyone.
back to back pregnancies are though on your body. it’s a fact. but babies are worth it. growing up close in age to a sibling is the best! its a built in best friend.
Jenelle and David are fishing soooo hard for something to make Babs look bad. It’s sad. They’re so delusional. “Her attorney is scared” stfu
Yeah it’s scary actually to think how far they might go. This restaurant thing was absolutely crazy. there’s no telling what they will try next. And them going to Barbara’s house after and banging on the doors for 2 hours is very threatening to me. David seems very violent and so controlling to jenelle.
I don’t think I’ve ever hated Jenelle as much as I did in this episode. She dated a drunk aka Nathan that got DUIs and she didn’t give a shit up until he dumped her ass. Now she is trying to frame her mother for drinking & driving??? Seriously??? First of all, taking a sip of wine doesn’t mean she’s drunk, you stupid idiot. And second of all, you stalk your mother and bang on her door for two hours and then call the cops. Uh…maybe she didn’t answer the door because she didn’t want to talk to your psycho ass!
On another note, did anyone see what Jenelle said to Randy on twitter? She ended up deleting it of course because I guess she’s never heard of anything called screen shot. He said something like “Yeah, yelling in front of your kids really teaches them something.” She retaliated by calling him a “fat f*cker.” Lol. And she wonders why people say she isn’t fit to be a mother??? She’s so immature. A normal 24 year old mother of three wouldn’t stoop to a pathetic personal attack as a comeback. And btw Jenelle, Randy was right! That whole thing you did to your mother about her “drinking and driving” was all in front of those poor kids. She is the one that is f*cking up Jace. He is only 8 years old and he is already having anger problems and going to a therapist. Hmm…..I wonder why?
Randy, as in Chelsea’s dad??? oh hell no!! thats my dude JUHNELLE!!!
NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO BE MEAN TO RANDILICIOUS. NOBODY.
I’ve read she even gave her expert medical opinion about Randy’s health somewhere else. Sure Doctor Sherlock. A thermometer is more qualified to diagnose than she is.
Amazing recap, Ashley. I laugh/snorted multiple times.
There have been so many times his Eason that I wanted to reach through my tv and bitchslap Jenelle. What the hell is wrong with that child? Why does she so desperately want the return of Jace yet seems to treat poor Kaiser like shit? Focus on the kids the state has not yet removed from your custody and stop manipulating Jace. I honestly thought Barbara was doing the honorable thing by NOT telling Jenelle the way Jace feels on camera. Maybe Babs has tried at other times off camera but I’m doubtful. It seems to me that Jenelle isn’t necessarily trying to prove to anyone that Jace is better off with Jenelle, or that Jenelle wants Jace for any other reason than she doesn’t want Barbara to “win”. I am curious, in a custody case such as this, doesn’t the state assign a guardian ad litem to speak for Jace? Who is truly advocating for what is best for Jace? This poor kid, at 7 years old, isn’t going to tell a judge, in front of Barbara and Jenelle with whom he wants to live. No kids should have to do that.
Speaking of Lurch…. the way he and Jenelle have been fighting in the past few eps does not seem to bode well for this soulmate marriage lasting much (or any) longer than the Jenelle/Courtland union. The levels of maturity demonstrated by them both is appalling and dumbfounding. Lurch is a bully and Jenelle is a complete hot mess. I seriously didn’t understand the whole point of them phone filming Barbara. What a waste of time. Just once, Jenelle, once think about someone other than yourself and take responsibility for your actions. As much as I love this show, I kinda cant wait to see what happens with the MTV money stops.
So the entire time Jenelle and David were stalking Babs to ‘get jace back,’ where the hell were their 3 other poor kids?!? Especially the baby?! Jenelle is so delusional that she thinks trying to frame her mother for a DUI would help the custody case… I can’t wait to watch the episode where she loses the court case and tries to spin the outcome to make her look good. No matter what way you look at it, she’s a bad person and an even worse mother…
We all know that Briana is just talking about adoption to have a storyline. No way she would give up a baby that she could hold over a man.
I think she saw that people thought her story would be boring so she did it try making herself interesting. It didn’t work.
“Back from the dead boyfriend”I almost peed! These recaps are the joy in my life.
In what world do you hammer on your mom’s door for two hours because you and your giant thug baby daddy number five or six are not through screaming at her and then YOU call the cops? (Nice editing on Lurch tonight though, nice to them’working on the land’ together so nicely. He’s a natural with that bush ax.)
I actually have no words for Jenelle and Lurch. How disgusting and depraved and fucked up.
What a disaster.
I was so sad the whole time everyone was screaming in front of Jace and the other children. ☹️
Seriously WTF is wrong with Janelle??? Is she in that much denial about what a shitty mother she is?? I mean OH MY GOD!! And Briana I believe is the most simple boring one in the show. I usually just skip through her parts of the show just like I did with Farrah’s parts. Can’t bear to watch such stupidity. Almost feel sorry for them but definitely do feel sorry for their offspring.
I know. I either fall asleep during Braina’s segments or I don’t pay attention. I still don’t understand why Mtv added Briana. If they had done it the third or fourth season, that would’ve made more sense. But they add her after 7 years? I don’t get it.