At the Final 7, with less than three weeks left to go on Big Brother 19, you’d think that the HGs would start to step up their games. But…you would be wrong.

In this episode we see what might be the craziest HoH competition in the show’s history: a race in which five people all throw it to a woman with a broken foot. ‘Big Brother 19’ has turned into a Zen koan: Is this still a game if no one is playing it?

After a rain delay we see the HoH competition. It’s a race in which the HGs wait at the starting line holding down buttons and when a sign says “Go,” they must race to hit a buzzer. If they let go of their buttons or are the last to hit their buzzer in each round, they’re out. Despite having a broken foot, the show’s medical team has cleared Christmas to participate.

In flashbacks, we see Paul orchestrating this HoH competition before it happens, trying to throw it to Christmas so she gets the blood of Jason and Alex (aka “Jalex”) on her hands while Paul stays clean and doesn’t make any enemies.

Paul goes to Alex and Jason to tell them that Kevin is the target and Alex agrees to throw the HoH if Kevin is out. Paul goes to Kevin and tells him to drop out first. He’s reluctant, but agrees. Paul also goes to Raven and tells her to drop out and she agrees. Paul gloats about stringing up all of his puppets, convincing Alex, Kevin and Raven to throw it.

Then we see the competition unfold exactly as Paul planned. Kevin has a false start and he’s out. Then Alex has a false start and she’s out. Then Raven has a false start and she’s out. Then Paul has a false start and he’s out. Then Josh has a false start and he’s out.

Geez, guys. You could have at least tried to make it less obvious that you were trash-canning the competition.

With everyone else out, Christmas becomes the new HoH!

The HGs didn’t run a single race. Five people simply threw it in the exact order that Paul told them to throw it. I’m simultaneously impressed with Paul’s complete control of every aspect of the game and disgusted by the fact that everyone else is stupid enough to let him do it.

There are two truly hilarious moments in this competition. Alex says in the diary room that Kevin is dumb for doing what Paul told him to do because it’s going to get him evicted.

Isn’t it ironic…dontcha think?

The other laughable moment comes when Josh gloats about how “our plan” is working while Christmas talks about their “team.” Meanwhile, Paul only says “I’ and “me” in the diary room.

It’s time for nominations. Last week the plan was to nominate “Maven,” while telling them that they were just pawns in order to backdoor Kevin. There is no universe where this plan should work for a second time, especially not on Jason and Alex, who pulled it off last time. But this season exists in a pocket universe where the laws of reason and logic don’t apply, because that’s the plan.

Oh, everyone on this season is just really, really dumb, apparently.

Alex and Jason completely believe that Kevin is the real target and Paul tells Kevin to stop talking and just act sad, which is exactly what he told Josh to do back in Week 4.

Alex immediately volunteers to go on the block as a pawn, confident that no one would vote her out over Kevin. Christmas just laughs. Then during their morning walk, Jason tells Kevin that he thinks Kevin and Raven will be nominated, trying to soften the blow because Jason thinks Kevin is the target. But Kevin trusts Paul and knows otherwise.

We also get more #RavenExposedParty, with Raven telling Jason and Paul that she has “Rough Kneecap Syndrome” while Paul cackles about how stupid it is in the diary room.

For the third and final time, the Tree of Temptation lights up. And for the second time in a row, no one has any interest in taking an apple. Alex and Jason both think Kevin is the target while Kevin thinks he’s safe, so no one feels like they need to take an apple. This twist is a total failure, but they spend a lot of time trying to create fake tension with it.

Prior to nominations, Alex literally goes to Christmas and tells her that she thinks they should backdoor Kevin because they don’t want him to be paranoid and act crazy before the Power of Veto meeting. She suggests herself and Josh as the pawns.

Christmas debates whether to be honest about Jason being the real target or to be a “sneaky snake” and make them believe Kevin is the target.

All together now let’s chant: “Be a snake! Be a snake!”

Christmas nominates Jason and Alex, and Jason literally falls out of his chair, presumably as a joke. Christmas says that Alex is a pawn and she wants to take out a “strong male figure.” Alex and Jason are confused, but Alex still trusts Christmas.

We’ll have to wait until next episode to see what happens, but until then, be sure to scurry over to BuddyTV to get ‘Big Brother 19’ spoilers, news and updates!

(Photos: CBS)