On this episode of Teen Mom OG, Maci attempts to alleviate some pain from her life (and this time we’re not talking about Ryan); Cate and Tyler deal with a loss; Amber gives spending time with her daughter a try, and Farrah continues to show us why that devilish red hair of hers is so fitting.
We first check in with the shining light of ‘Teen Mom OG’, Farrah. She is looking for a house in LA, and basically has plans to ruin a good neighborhood. Being that Farrah is Farrah and rules (along with basic human decency) don’t apply to her, she decides to ambush a homeowner to see if the place has enough room to accommodate her assortment of straight-from-the-swapmeet body-con dresses. She does not care that the open house is over– she’s getting in there!
Farrah decides to take Michael’s fiancé, Amy, with her to creep out the seller. (Amy is apparently starting to get her fashion sense from Debz OG. She’s wearing a very Debz choker-and-shirt set. Hold tight to your pleather pants everyone!)
Amy, Farrah and Michael take an Uber over to the house. On the way, Farrah scolds Sophia for not reading a chapter of her book (which is almost certainly one of Farrah’s sexy-time romance novels).
When they arrive, they see there’s a sign that specifically says “Do Not Disturb Occupants.” Of course, Farrah pays no attention to the request, stating that it’s OK because she’s from out of town. (To be fair, she’s actually from outer space, but, same-same.)
They leave Sophia and Michal in the car (with the poor Uber driver, who can now add ‘experienced trespasser’ to his Uber bio).
While Farrah and Amy are tromping through the house, Producer Kristen is stressing out. She gets into the car with Producer David.
“So, there’s a problem with Farrah,” she says.
Um…that’s basically the understatement of the CENTURY…
Producer Kristen says that Farrah is mad because she thinks the set teacher that’s being supplied for Sophia (because she’s too cool for school…literally), has dared to give Sophia a piece of candy. Naturally, this undercover candy-giving act is punishable by immediate termination, under the Rules ‘o’ Farrah.
Producer David states the obvious: that it’s virtually impossible to fire a set teacher and find a replacement (who is free of Tootsie Rolls and Snickers and the like) to come in the same day.
Producer Kristen explains that, because we are in Los Angeles and no longer in the “schools are not well” hills of the hillbilly states that these shows are usually set in, a teacher is required to be with Sophia at all times or they will have to stop filming.
Kristen suggests they ask Farrah if she can deal with the horrible candy-giving teacher for the rest of the day so filming can continue. Obviously, Kristen is ready for death, because when the Big Red One gets a load of this idea, she’s going to go straight “Tonya Harding” on them, beating them with her sex wands. (But, to be fair, I’d probably rather watch footage of that than this crappy show.)
Just then, Farrah and Amy come back to the car. Farrah said the house was nice and all (and had plenty of room for mini horses, Porta-potties and whatnot) but…it had a stackable washer and dryer. Farrah acts like that’s basically the same as the homeowners telling her that instead of laundering their clothes, they just go out back and beat them clean against the rocks.
“Sayonara, bitch!” Farrah cackles, as if anyone actually cares.
Just then, Farrah gets a text from her realtor. Apparently, the seller she just ambushed was upset that some random reality TV p0rn star stormed her house. The seller has also accused Farrah of being “touchy feely” once she got inside. (Hey—they should be happy; that usually costs $5.99 a minute extra!)
Naturally, because this is Farrah, she insists that the seller was, naturally, staring at her boobs. Meanwhile, Sophia is just sitting in the backseat, pretending to read her romance novel and thinking about slipping the Uber driver a note that begs him to take her with him.
Over in Tennessee, Maci and Taylor reminisce about Ryan and Mackenzie’s recent do-over wedding. They both admit that they never really thought Ryan would tie the knot. (In their defense, we’re pretty sure Ryan didn’t see himself getting married either… kind of how he didn’t see the road while driving to his first wedding.)
Later, Maci reveals that she’s in pain due to having Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Maci gives her friends a rundown on PCOS and mentions that it causes her to be irritable. (Maybe Farrah should get things checked out, you know just in case?)
We have to listen to Maci talk about her feminine bleeding and cramping which is a real treat. What’s next, us getting to watch Butch get a colonoscopy?
At Gary’s house, he and Kristina help Leah with a family tree project for school. (It’s unknown if she actually named all of Amber’s relatives, or just used their Prison ID numbers.)
Gary is upset when he realizes he doesn’t know if Jody is his real dad. In a desperate attempt to maintain a storyline on this show, Gary tells Kristina he wants to get a paternity test to find out if Jody is his biological father. Kristina agrees that it’s a good, given that Jody is riddled with medical issues that could potentially be passed down to Gary and his litter.
Jody later tells Gary he believes he’s his father but regardless of the outcome, he’ll remain involved in Gary’s kids’ lives…at least until the ‘Teen Mom’ money runs dry. Gary is hoping Jody IS his father, simply because then he doesn’t have to start at the bottom of the degenerate heap in search of Daddy Dearest.
Next we check in with Cate and Tyler and instantly we know something is up. They are playing the extra sad music, keeping the lighting dark and there are random hiking boots sitting on the table. Catelynn completes ignores the camera crew inside her house and goes to the bedroom.
Tyler tells Producer Kerthy that Catelynn recently had a miscarriage. Tyler explains it was very traumatic for them both.
They head to the doctor, (with a full MTV crew in tow, for some reason). The doctor confirms that Cate had lost the baby.
Naturally, Catelynn is in a bad way. She tells Producer Kerthy that, had it not been for Tyler and Nova, she probably would have “offed” herself. It’s a very scary situation, and Producer Kerthy doesn’t seem to know how to respond to that alarming statement. Catelynn says she doesn’t want to live another day like this. It feels wrong that they are filming this, and that we are watching this woman who just had her heart torn out.
The woman-part talk just keeps coming, as we head back to Tennessee to watch Maci go to her gynecologist. She wants to talk to him about her PCOS. She tells him that the only way she’s attempting to wrangle the disease is by using birth control. (Clearly, she’s not using it well. Just ask Jayde…and Maverick!)
In addition to meds, Maci’s doctor suggests a procedure called “ovarian drilling’ which Maci sounds less than pumped about, understandably so. (Wait—wasn’t this the name of the sequel to Farrah’s “Backdoor” adult movie—”Ovarian Drilling”?)
“We go in with a needle and electricity and burn about 40 holes in each ovary,” the doctor says.
(Y’all totally just Googled “ovarian drilling,” didn’t you? Yeah…that was a bad idea.)
Maci isn’t exactly thrilled with the thought of having 80+ holes poked into her nether-goods.
Speaking of folks who have had their holes poked, we next check in with Amber. She has torn herself away from her man-candy Andrew long enough to spend the day with Leah. Before she can get her long-lost daughter, though, Amber must confront a piece of her past…in the form of a doormat that legit says “Mr. & Mrs. Baier- Amber and Matt.”
Girl. MTV pays you upwards of $300k a season and you can’t hustle your overworked patootie to The Walmart and pick up a doormat that doesn’t celebrate the never-was union of you and Spongebob SpermPants, Matt?! COME ON. We know Amber’s lazy, but can’t she at least turn the damn Matt mat over now that her new soulmate is living in the house?!
Amber is stoked because she’s taking Leah to get a massage. This is, of course, just what every nine-year-old wants to do: have some stranger rub up all over them while they have to listen to their mother grunt and moan as some poor sap rubs the corns on her feet.
Shudder.
Meanwhile, Gary is also less-than-thrilled that he has to ask his sorta-dad, Jody, to take a DNA test to confirm that (in the words of the great Maury Povich) “He IS the father.” Jody agrees to get tested, which isn’t surprising. (Hey, it beats snarfing down a couple McRibs while watching the local tractor pull on the TV.)
We also learn that Jody wasn’t there the day Gary was born because he was (naturally) in the slammer. However, a judge had mercy on Jody and allowed him to get out early in order to go see his new son, Baby Gary. (Does anyone else have a hard time picturing Gary as an infant? He’s one of those people who seem like they could have been born being like 14 and asking for an extra GoGurt?)
Later we see Gary and Jody head out for some (potential) father-son cheek swab bonding at the ol’ DNA lab. For the occasion, Jody has dressed in his best Christmas-themed Looney Tunes sweatshirt, so we know it’s quite the special day!
Gary, the medical mind of the ‘Teen Mom’ franchise, explains how the DNA results are collected.
“It’s a swab…they probably, like, swab it up ‘n’ and have some sort of…test and stuff,” he says. “Then they see if they’re the same, or sumthin’, I dunno.”
(Potential) father and son reveal that they’re doing this behind Gary’s mom’s back, which may lead to some chair-throwin’ fun once she gets a load of what’s going on!
Back in Los Angeles, all hell has broken loose. Producer Kristen knocks on the window of Farrah’s Uber to give Farrah an update on the Set Teacher Crisis. Farrah is insisting that Kristen call up 1-800-SET-TEACH and just hire another teacher for Sophia to yell at for the day. Kristen, who lives in the real world, argues that is not possible.
“This bitch is fired today!” Farrah barks about the Hershey-dispersing set teacher.
Farrah then slams the door on Producer Kristen’s face and growls that she shouldn’t be working with her. (Meanwhile, Michael is catching a few winks of shut-eye before the next Farrah beat-down, while the Uber driver looks like he has already dialed “9-1” on his phone and is about ready to dial that last “1.”
Farrah tells Kristen that, just because she fired the set teacher, that doesn’t make it her responsibility to find another one. She ultimately calls Kristen “really, really ignorant” and adds that she doesn’t see the point of the set teacher.
“I wanna cancel the teacher!” Sophia babbles from the backseat. “What’s the point of the teacher?”
“There really isn’t any point,” Farrah says. “It’s an imaginary thing!”
Amy is trying to reason with these crazy people, explaining that this set teacher debacle is not something Producer Kristen came up with to annoy Farrah. She explains that this is actually a California law that they have to follow.
Farrah decides that because Producer Kristen couldn’t make a new set teacher magically appear within the hour, she is shutting down filming for the day. Everyone in the car is visibly uncomfortable, except for Farrah.
“I’m shutting my door, excuse me,” Farrah tells Producer Kristen as she slams her car door. “Thank you, I don’t want to bash your face in!”
Honestly, being bashed in the face by a door would be a welcomed change from being verbally bashed by Farrah. At least then Producer Kristen could file an assault charge against the Back-From-The-Dead Backdoor Teen Mom.
In Michigan, Tyler and Kerthy talk about what’s going on. Kerthy tells Tyler that Cate texted her that she was feeling suicidal. Tyler immediately breaks down and we learn that Cate is heading immediately to a treatment facility in Tucson. It’s no laughing matter, so we’re just gonna move right along…
Meanwhile, Ryan is coming down from the excitement of his recent wedding (among other things). Mackenzie is busy folding laundry. Ryan says that he’s sad they didn’t go on a honeymoon. It’s not surprising, though. After all, his last wedding to Mackenzie was followed by an all-expenses-paid trip to rehab!
Mac is rambling on and on about how their sons are family now and whatnot, while Ryan is doing his best to not fall asleep, face first, into a pile of chonies.
In Indiana, it’s time for Amber and Leah to get their rub-downs. Amber is thrilled, but Leah is so-so on the whole thing. She ends up covered in oil and having to pee.
Amber returns Leah to Gary and Kristina’s house, but not before she basically calls their daughter, Emilee, a cast-off from the movie “Children Of The Corn.” As you do…
Meanwhile, Gary and Jody head into get their DNA swabbed. (They do this at the incredibly named “Any Lab Test Now!” store.) Gar doesn’t spring for the legal DNA test, and goes for the discount “Informational” one, which is not accepted in court. (I wonder if you purchase the premium DNA package if Maury Povich will actually pop out and read your DNA test results to you!?)
The guys head back, and get their cheeks swabbed with a Q-tip. Jody seems thrilled to be taking a test that does not start with him peeing in a cup and end with him in an ankle bracelet for 6-8 months.
Gary tells Kristina later that he feels weird about having to get a “paternity test.”
“It sounds like sumthin’ girls get!” he says.
Farrah is back in Austin and it seems the whole “everything is bigger in Texas” slogan also applies to Farrah’s attitude. Still fuming about “really, really ignorant” Kristen, Farrah has no idea that they’re sending the bigwig of the franchise, Morgan J. Freeman (who is not the dude from “Shawshank Redemption) down to Texas to talk to Farrah.
We learn that Morgan wants to chat with Farrah about how awful she treats the producers, crew and the general human population. He also wants to discuss the fact that’s she’s once again back to hawking her naughty bits on sexy-time web cam sites.
“We really need to talk about how she treats producers,” Morgan says, as we get a flashback session of just a few of the times Farrah has treated the show’s crew like Starburst droppings.
Apparently, Farrah has been spouting about just firing everyone from the show (which she can’t do) and just producing her segments herself. Morgan chuckles at the thought of Farrah, who can barely string words together to form a cohesive sentence, producing a show solo.
Speaking of “shows,” MTV is apparently not down with Farrah shoving her lady-parts in front of a web cam again.
“She made the decision not to do any more p0rn,” Morgan says. “So why do you go and sign up to do live web cam shows?”
Morgan says that if Farrah decides to go through with her sexy-time web cam show, she won’t be allowed to be on ‘Teen Mom’ anymore.
They track Farrah down at Michael’s house, and we see the film crew and Morgan heading to the door.
After all the hype of the Morgan-Farrah showdown, MTV leaves us with a “To be continued” cliffhanger and some “Jaws”-esque intense music. WTF!
Even though we already know how this whole thing ends, we’re pretty excited to see the full conversation play out on camera. How excited? Picture the excitement of Ryan during his second wedding… only the complete opposite.
To read The Ashley’s previous ‘Teen Mom OG’ recaps, click here!
(Photos: MTV)
47 Responses
Anyone else notice in this week’s episode that Macy suddenly has an accent??????
Producer Kristen is a freaking saint. I’d love to take her out for a drink sometime and discuss all things Farrah.
I want a tell all book or Reddit AMA for everyone who has worked with farrah
Michael sucks Farrah’s dick more than she did in that sex tape
There is a special porta potty in hell waiting for Farrah. She is truly a horrible human being. I hope she learns a lesson at some point.
This was so well written i was guffawing to myself and looking like a crazy person! Thanks I needed that!
The way Farrah talks in front of Sophia is sooo inappropriate. To say the homeowner was staring at her tits with her daughter right there and the way she abuses Kristen makes me sick. What the hell is wrong with her father that he would not say anything to her about it. If I talked that way in front of my kids with my father present he would be mortified and surely let me know it
I thought I was hallucinating! I thought no way in hell would Andrew not be offended by her leaving the ‘Mr n Mrs Baier’ mat there! And Amber being so in love with her perfect new man, but she leaves THAT for people to see when they knock on her door? That just shouts out all sorts of red flags to me! How could she not even notice that laying out in the open…unless she’s leaving it there as a message to Matt that she still loves him?? #pleaseGodno.
One thing I am confused about pertaining to Gary….Where did the last name Shirley come from, seeing it’s not Jody’s or Carol’s last name? Was Gary adopted by a stepdad maybe? Just wonderin’
Let me get this straight. Farrah is such a successful business woman but she is living in a small house with her dad? If she can’t even accept a home with a stackable washer/dryer, why is she at his house? I’m thinking the businesses aren’t really doing that well and she is spending all her Teen Mom money on a lavish lifestyle. Now she has to go back to p0rn.
Given they must have hours of footage and loads of eyewitnesses, what would prevent crew members from filing harassment complaints against Farrah? Didn’t she once put her car in reverse while a crew member was standing with the passenger door open?
The Ashley
I just wanted to say Thank you for having integrity and not making a joke out of what Catelynn and Tyler are going through. I enjoy reading your recaps, especially the line – As you do. That cracks me up all the time. Kudos to you
I really hope that Catelynn takes this stint in rehab seriously. Postpartum is not a laughing matter at all and is so serious. I actually know a young mother who killed herself 6 weeks after her baby was born due to depression during and after her pregnancy. It’s such a sad thing, and I’m not judging her, but Catelynn probably should not have tried to get pregnant before getting mentally healthy again. I feel like she should go to treatment for more than 30 days, but it’s her life….I just hope she gets better.
I’m so sorry about the young mother you knew 🙁 That is terrible.
What a rushed through, boring recap. Reads like the ashley only did it to appease all the comments asking about them. No reunion insider info either?
@Katie: Sorry you didn’t enjoy it. I assure you it was not rushed, though. As for Reunion info, there were only two girls that even came, so not much drama or anything interesting to report. Can’t make up stuff. -The Ashley
No, did not enjoy. Most boring episode of the entire series. Should have done the wedding episode.
I missed the show this past week. Is a Jody actually Gare Bear’s daddy?
You did not miss anything it wasn’t on last week
I love how Amber always seems to pick activities that she wants to do when she has time with Leah but not things Leah wants to do. Does she even know what a 9 year old likes to do? She seems to spend so little time with her, you would hope they could do something that would provide memories or give time to talk and bond.
I thought that too. I also didn’t like the way Amber griped at Leah for having to pee. She’s a kid. Let her pee.
I had to quit after: (In their defense, we’re pretty sure Ryan didn’t see himself getting married either… kind of how he didn’t see the road while driving to his first wedding.)
Cackled so hard I needed a breather. The Ashley, you are the most savage person and I love it! If you ever start a cult, I’m in.
The Ashley FINALLY does a TM recap! There is hope still left in this world.
Also, I was so mad when Farrah was working herself up against Kristen and then Sophia chimes in with, “What’s the point of the set teacher?” Or whatever she said. Way to fan the flames, kid.
I am loving the fact that Ryan is on top of Mackenzie in regards to his money and keeps hounding her about it. I sure hope he signed some kind of prenup. I don’t know how the laws are where they live, but she’s definitely in it for the money. Crazy to think that she came across as a good person at first and now here we are.
Can we talk about Ryan as Macks wedding because that was awful. How many times did Ryan say he didn’t care about this or that lol he didn’t even write any vows and said he didn’t care. Not to mention he was drunk the whole time. Any truly sober person doesn’t drink alcohol after being in rehab for drugs. The whole thing was just so unemotional and uncomfortable to watch
That wedding needs it’s own thread. So much to say about it.
LMAO that door mat(t)!!!!
Ahahahahahaha I’m soooooooooo happy the crew caught that moment, I completely missed it while watching.
To be fair, I zone out a lot watching these days as nothing seems to happen, but that was gold.
Amber is such a lazy idiot.
I don’t think filming does any good to Cate’s mental/emotional health.
Not gonna tell anybody what to do but I think quitting the show or at the very least taking a break from filming for proper therapy would help her.
Agreed, Problem is that she probably couldn’t afford rehab without the MTV money. I would bet that MTV pays for rehab but wouldn’t if they were no longer filming.
I don’t know how Maci is going to be able to film “Naked & Afraid” if she has PCOS ! Won’t she be in too much pain ?
Coming from someone with PCOS, I can assure you she’ll be fine. She just needed a storyline this week.
I don’t care about Maci’s alleged PCOS. She may have pain, she may not. One things for sure; she doesn’t suffer the real pain of infertility that comes with most PCOS cases. She’s able to spit kids out with no issues whatsoever. She got pregnant 3 times in 3 years. Bye Maci
Wasn’t it 4 times? Didn’t she miscarry too?
Jesus never mind I read that wrong. Ya 3 times in 3 years but she’s been pregnant 4 times total.
So she’s not allowed to complain about pain as long as she doesn’t have infertility? Just because she doesn’t have it as bad as someone else doesn’t mean she has no right to complain about something that hurts.
Do you complain when you have a stomach bug? What if someone told you to shut up because at least you don’t have stomach cancer? It makes no sense.
I don’t know how Maci is going to be able to film “Naked & Afraid if she has PCOS ! Won’t she be in too much pain ?
The real question is, how is she going to promote her clothing line?
Farrah is absolutely narcissistic and delusional. Everything about her makes me cringe so hard! I HATE it that she uses terms as ”hate crime” ”discrimination” ”sexshaming” to blame other people for whatever doesn’t go her way. Ugh.
But honestly, I mostly feel bad for poor Sophia, she is completely ruined by her mum. She really doesn’t stand a chance in life, as she is already so misbehaved and that will only get worse and worse in years to come. She comes across as a very lonely child because she does not interact with any kind of normality. Please give that child some age-appropriate friends and a decent education in a proper school setting. There’s not enough room in the world for another Farrah. Smdh.
Farrah gets fired. HOORAY! Faith in humanity restored.
I really think Cate has been suicidal for a while (but kept it hidden because Tyler wanted another baby) and suffering a miscarriage was the last drop. I hope the rehab she is in again will really help her. Again, I don’t want to hear bad news in a few months, I wish her the best.
Maci has PCOS for a while and yet this was the first time they are talking about it on the show? Maybe because it didn’t fit her story line of “Oops, I got pregnant by accident again!” before? (I’m not saying she is lying, women with PCOS can have babies for sure but she doesn’t seem to have a problem getting pregnant while other women with it do)
Amber, Amber. REALLY, A MAT(T) WITH YOU EX’S NAME?! And it says like you were married, you were never Mrs. Baier! I wonder what Andrew thinks of it, maybe laughs his head off or hasn’t even seen it. Girl, you are pregnant with another guy, just buy a new one. (Or let your baby daddy buy one, we know it will come in handy when you break up!)
Gary’s paternity test is so random but anything to have him show more than his ex is good. And no, dude, not only girls get it.
Maci makes me so angry when she talks about PCOS. I have it and can confirm that almost everything she says contradicts everything I have heard from all 7 specialists I’ve seen. Not to mention how much contradicts herself too. She really just brings it up when she needs it to fit the narrative.
Catelynn is a lazy slob. She did not listen to her doctors advice to lose weight and quit smoking before she chose to get pregnant. She seems to flee to rehab to escape responsibility…She got pregnant when she doesn’t even have her own child most of the week and seems to not really have a connection with Nova…
No thumbs down here. I don’t disagree with you… but, it doesn’t need to be that harsh. I absolutely agree that she runs to rehab ( like it’s a spa get away) to escape responsibility. Also, I agree she got pregnant too soon. I think everyone is feeling a little soft of the miscarriage. I really believe pot is huge downfall for her.. making her lazy and over weight. Poor Tyler now has his pos father in rehab and his wife, why he is pushing for another baby is just ridiculous! If Cate truly has all these issues than he is being beyond selfish.
This is probably why she is suicidal . She knew people would blame her and she probably blames herself. I miscarried and im not overweight and i have never smoked anything and I STILL blamed myself. We need to take it easy on her… SHe is being harsh enough on herself for everyone.
Oh please. Gotta love the trash talkers hiding behind their keyboards. Leave the girl alone. She has had a rough life since she was a little girl and she’s still by far the nicest out of all the girls on this show. She’s never mean to anyone and is always kind and sweet to the producers and everyone else. Why do you care if she’s lazy or messy? MYOB. Millions of women get pregnant while overweight and until just a couple decades ago, the majority of them smoked through their pregnancies. She didn’t cause her miscarriage. And if you’re not lazy, what are you doing spending time on a reality tv gossip site? Good for Catelynn for getting help especially knowing that millions are watching and criticizing her every move online. Anyway I’d rather be a person like Catelynn than an online bully who might push someone over the edge.
Amen
A set teacher ??? Hire your own fkn teacher for your kid, or put her in a school where she can meet friends ?? I really hate Farrah she’s a grade A twat
Farrah is the worst. Such fake people around her. If she has any segments with friends they are just using her to be on tv or they are the same way she is. Her daughter is going to end up being a psycho who will go through life thinking everyone is out to get her just like farrah thinks.
Mac is segments are boring to me now. But Ryan and Mack make for some good drama. That wedding of theirs was so cringy. I would have felt bad for a girl but she wanted this life.
I’m still surprised cate and Tyler are trying to have more kids when they havnt gotten past their first adoption with Carly. They arnt happy about it yet. They can’t see the food in what they have done. They keep going into rehabs and they think it’s okay to bring another child into their marriage when catelyn and Tyler both check in for depression or what not. Nova already see that. They don’t have time mentally for a newborn.
I give Amber and Andrew a few years. She seems to stay in a relathionship I mean look how bad her and Matt’s relationship was and she sticked around
I hate hate hate hate Farrah. That is all.
@realityTspiller
Is where I believe I saw the messages from Michael to that women about a 3 some.
But I do not support her or partner Vince Russo in anyway
Tyler had to call her out for making fun of Catelyn wanting to kill herself.
I have listened to their interviews and read their Twitter and they are pathetic human beings as far as I’m concerned