Jill Dillard is giving her fans a lesson in Fundie Cooking!
When Jill and her banned-from-Counting-On husband Derick aren’t busy hitting fans up for suspicious ministry donations or offending people by the masses, they run the Dillard Family blog where they share family updates, photos, and–most importantly—Jill’s questionable recipes.
In honor of this week’s return of ‘Counting On,’ (which the Dillard family will continue to be absent from) The Ashley thought it was fitting to highlight some of the “recipes” Jill has been posting to her family’s website—complete with creepy, wilted-looking ingredients and weird instructions!
In no particular order, here are a few of the weirdest recipes from Chef Jill!
Breakfast Casserole
My family got this recipe from a friend of theirs. They make 2.5 times this recipe to fill one industrial sized baking sheet that will feed the whole family! https://t.co/kYb2Nw3yq6 pic.twitter.com/FxuJoIM688
— Jill (Duggar)Dillard (@jillmdillard) June 5, 2018
Ingredients:
– 1 bag tater tots
– butter
– eggs
– milk
– cheddar
– a gallon of water to chug when the dryness of this meal attempts to take you out
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day… to everyone except the Dillards, apparently. Jill said the recipe for this casserole came from a family friend, and seeing as how it looks drier than Michelle Duggar’s crunchy curled hair, might we suggest she sever that friendship?
Sautéed Carrots and Onions
Sautéed Carrots and Onions https://t.co/8005yz2mRu pic.twitter.com/yHJ6erE6hg
— Jill (Duggar)Dillard (@jillmdillard) April 29, 2018
Ingredients:
– olive oil
– soy sauce
– 2-3 medium onions
– 2 lbs. carrots
– low expectations
Jill says on her website that this dish is a favorite because it was a violin-lesson-day staple. (Umm…?) Another fun fact about this sad side is that it was also served as a go-to for Jill and Derick while they were living in Central America. The reason? Jill said “it was easier to eat most of our veggies cooked for sanitary reasons.”
Well that’s a promising review if we’ve ever heard one! Luckily, though, the photo included with the recipe makes the dish look mildly appetizing. Unlike the next Duggar Delicacy featured…
Easy Slow Cooked Pot Roast
Pot roasts are always a nice meal to come home to after church on Sunday or on a rainy day. When slow cooked, they make the whole house smell delicious! This recipe is super easy! https://t.co/oAl5P5dsLw
— Jill (Duggar)Dillard (@jillmdillard) July 21, 2018
Ingredients:
– potatoes left unpeeled and uncut
– carrots
– 1 roast
– beef bouillon cubes
– one large vendetta against your loved ones
Jill says that this depressing meal (which The Ashley is renaming “Jill’s 50 Shades of Grey”) is a Dillard/Duggar favorite for after church on Sundays or rainy days. While the recipe sounds OK, one look at the photos included with it will have anyone willing to sample this “feast” running for the nearest Porta-potty!
From the brown-looking carrots to the unpeeled photos, this meal looks so creepy that even Jill’s website followers made comments that it may be hazardous to her health to eat!
“Sweetie….those carrots are ROTTEN! You can’t feed your family that!” one person wrote.
Jill defended her ingredient choices in the comment section of the post.
“The carrots are brownish because they’re already cooked,” Jill replied. “I chose not to cube my potatoes to save time.
Easy Pan-Fried Bean and Cheese Burritos
This recipe (downsized of course) is perfect for when you've got just a little bit of leftover beans and rice and some tortillas on hand! Makes for a quick dinner that most kiddos love! https://t.co/W2DcNJjAhP pic.twitter.com/pYsciTtcQs
— Jill (Duggar)Dillard (@jillmdillard) June 20, 2018
Ingredients:
-pinto beans
-taco seasoning
-cooked rice
-shredded cheddar cheese
-30 tortilla shells
-a misunderstanding of Mexican cuisine
While Jill boasts that this recipe can feed the entire Duggar clan, but she likes to downsize it to feed her family of four. It seems that Jill, who—mind you—lived in Central America for about two years, is unaware that her “burritos” look suspiciously like quesadillas. In fact, they basically are quesadillas. Donde estas los burritos, Jill?
The Ashley is saving the best recipe for last…
Poor Man’s Pizza
Ingredients:
– sliced bread or tortillas
– spaghetti sauce (Hunt’s is the cheapest where Jill lives, she says)
– shredded cheddar and mozzarella
– a desire to eat like a broke college student without actually leaving your compound
According to Jill, these saucy little numbers are a hit with kids because they like to decorate their personal pizzas (aka bread slice) with their favorite toppings. Being that the kids have to do the heavy lifting for this one, we can go ahead and assume it’s a favorite of Jana’s, too.
To create this lil’ slice of culinary heaven, you just grab some Wonder bread (or some of those tortillas you may have left over from making ‘burritos’ the night before!), slap on the cheapest spaghetti sauce you can find (no, she actually says this in her recipe), and then throw on some cheese. You don’t even need to bake these masterpieces; simply put them in the microwave for a few seconds and—voila! —you’ll have the finest dinner this side of any Arkansas dumpster!
That “tater tot casserole” is sounding pretty good right about now, isn’t it?
(Photos: Instagram)
33 Responses
Now there is where you are wrong! Jessa posted many photos of her filthy house on IG, complete with a heap of dirty diapers sitting on a dresser. All of these girls are demented. Well, maybe Jana is the smartest, but she’s got a version of Stockholm Syndrome, so….. Anyway, I’m willing to be money that if “Better Homes & Gardens” showed up, Jill wouldn’t even bother to clean up her free house from Daddy, or bathe herself and the kids. Let’s be real, we all know her creeper husband doesn’t shower and that’s on him.
I wonder how many people in the Duggar household have had food poisoning. I understand it’s not funny, but it’s a good question. Those pictures totally made me sick!
Best Duggar recipe ever is the ice cream sandwich cake. I’ve been asked to bring it so many places! Layer a dish (like a glass or plastic baking dish) with ice cream sandwiches, cover in whipped cream, cover that with caramel and chocolate syrup and crushed up butterfinger. Repeat then pop in the freezer. Put in fridge to thaw and thank the duggars later haha
The only thing I got from this is that this family actually can’t cook. Those are the most boring and bland recipes on the planet
Your French is too good for Jill. She believes that “Voila” is spelled, “Wala.” I am in Paris right now and they actually do say, “Voila!” all the time. It is quite charming and makes me want to hit Jill a little bit.
I went down a rabbit hole on her blog to see if there were more of these kinds of “winner dinners” and yes, there are plenty. What I also noticed is she posted a few times a disclaimer that roughly said that not all of the recipes are hers. That some were others she saw in other places (books/blogs/media) and “tweeked” to make her own. Translation, she’s copying some of these from other place in an attempt to keep making more content for said blog and hopes by using said disclaimer, she won’t get sued.
Case in point. There is a recipe for nachos with cheese dip, which I’m pretty sure is the recipe that’s on the box of Velveeta she had in her kitchen.
Not to mention the chunks of fat you can visibly see running through the meat for the pot roast! ::shudders::??
Watching the “however many kids and counting” shows, I was always surprised at the meals they had. Everything was out of a can or box. Cooking from scratch is so much cheaper and much more healthy. And, everything on paper plates and plastic forks!
It’s obvious she uses social media. She should check out some cooking tutorials on YouTube or something.
“The unpeeled photos” ? I think you meant potatoes!
This post and the comments are a damn gift to me while I screw around when I should be working. thank you!
Really stressed out right now. We are still fighting with Social Security. This is an awesome distraction! Thanks the Ashley.
Let’s be real. She can’t cook. And that’s okay, a lot of women can’t (I’m still learning) but in a society where she is expected to be the sole cook in her family, that’s a problem. It’s a shame the D of her husband can’t get his lazy ass off his (preaching) couch and actually learn to cook something. Because it’s SO CRAZY FOR A MAN TO BE ABLE TO COOK, RIGHT?!
It was always kind of known, even back in the days when it was just expected that wives stayed at home, that newlywed women often didn’t know how to cook. If you were a newlywed man, for that first year or so you just ate that calcinated pot roast and pretended it was delicious.
My dad always says that when he and my mother were first married, they ate out for the first 6 months. They’ve been married for 48 years now. My mom is an awesome cook now.
By the way, the men in my family are all pretty good cooks.
Those carrots are not already cooked, who does she think she’s fooling? You can see the dryness that caused the carrots to darken, split, dry and go limp. Let’s all take a moment for those carrots….
What happened to preparing these girls for wife and motherhood?
Also, poor man’s pizza on english muffins, is not poor man’s pizza, it’s “I’ve got kids and they like making their own pizzas but won’t eat much, so I’m not wasting a bunch of dough” pizza :p
Though, I do like making pizza dough, then freezing it in individual portions sometimes too. Then they can still make their own pizzas in whatever way(s) they like, but I’m not wasting dough on kids that aren’t going to eat a lot.
I also freeze a LOT of meals in individual or smaller portions for nights when I have a IDGAF what you eat moments 😀 So much easier than prepping a meal, and easier on my wallet.
Man, this is one of the times that growing up Asian paid off. None of this gross watery food. I’ve been cooking delicious dishes since I was 13! Thanks Lola!
I’m glad The Ashley wasn’t writing mean commentary about my early-wife days. Sheesh.
First off, Jill has been married long enough to not be considered a newlywed. Secondly, the carrots are rotten. Do you serve your family rotten food? Do you put whole, unpeeled potatoes in a crock pot? There is common sense, and there are recipes. Thirdly, you were not posting your attempts online and encouraging thousands of people to follow suit.
Re. Lax.
I’d like to agree with you but she’s been made to help cook meals all her life it’s not like she’s new to this. Unfortunately she’s been taught a bland, processed food way to cook.
“one large vendetta against your loved ones”
Omg Ashley you crack me up ? every time! The best commentary l!
We did ‘poor mans pizza’ growing up too but we did it on English muffins. I still make them from time too time.
They have been eating that same garbage their whole life. I crack up every time I see her post a “new” recipe.
By the time those potatoes finally are cooked in that slow cooker, the meat will be incinerated and the carrots will be so dehydrated they could be used for nails. Too lazy to cut up veggies ? Veggies take longer to cook even when they are cut up than meat does. I thought Michelle prepared her daughters to be wives and mothers and cooking is a part of that she failed her daughters on big time.
Not one damn green veggie in sight ::sigh::
Where’s the pot roast in that crock pot? Whole potatoes too. I wouldn’t give that to my dog
Note to self and some sound advice- never eat any food at their house.
I understand everybody has their “It’s Tuesday and I honestly DGAF” recipes, but that doesn’t mean you need to post them online. You wouldn’t showcase that pile of unfolded laundry in Better Homes and Gardens, after all.
“Jill’s 50 Shades of Grey” ???
Hahaha! Omg, this post cracked me up! The food, however, depressed me.
Jiffy pizza crust is normally about $1, why not just buy that and make a pizza?
Omg this is the definition of lazy!!! I am a full time working mom of 3 and i still manage to make an awesome and healthy meal everyday of the week!!! What does she do all day? That she has no time to prep a proper meal lol
I don’t think it’s about not having the time, I think it’s about not having the skill or knowledge.