After last week’s entirely too mic’ed-up vasectomy adventure with Gary, we’re absolutely jonesing to see how the Teen Mom OG crew can emotionally scar us this week. So without further ado—let’s CUT right to it!
The episode starts off in Michigan, where Cate and Tyler (and April) are visiting the “fancy” ultrasound joint to get a look at their future daughter, mainly so they can see if publicly declaring their distaste to have another girl somehow made their spawn sprout some Butch-parts overnight.
This is also the scene where we regrettably learn that Cate and Tyler plan to name their baby “Tezlee,” which we can only assume is being done out of spite they now have for the unborn kid because she wasn’t a boy.
April’s face during the scene in which Tyler announces they’re naming the baby Tezlee is ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS! She just has this look, kind of like she just took a big drink of a beer she forgot she had put out her ciggie in or some thing.
Now, April hasn’t exactly made the best decisions in her life (see: the Butch Years), so if even she thinks something is a bad idea, Cate and Ty ought to listen to her.
Later, Tyler is greeted with a fresh-faced Butch during a FaceTime call from The ‘Hab. Butch has shed his facial fur, giving him a more youthful look.
Tyler tells Butch that his next grandkid (and janky name-tattoo) is on the way and Butch is pumped. (After all, he still has an open spot on his neck where a “Tezlee” tat will fit nicely!)
Butch begins commending Cate for how far she’s come in the last nine months and Cate responds by jumping on the call herself and warning Butch not to shave his face again because he looks weird.
Um…girl. You wore the same tired zebra-print hoodie through most of Obama’s presidency. Let’s stop commenting on other people’s style choices, shall we?
Anyway, Tyler tells his dad he’s excited for him to visit soon… and then he gets back to sketching stuff for his high fashion kids’ line, Tierra Reign. We can only assume that the toddler pants he’s drawing will soon be part of the company’s new “Tezlee” line?
Over in Tennessee, Maci and Taylor have already moved into their new home. The couple has decided to accentuate their new BEERbie Dream House with a collection of giant wall “M” letters. (We can assume the other hallway contains the couple’s other treasured decorations, such as Taylor’s beer cap collection and Maci’s Spring Break 2011 Beer Bong Champ trophy.)
With Mackenzie about to expel The Spawn of Ryan any day now, Maci is busy working out details with Jen and Larry to make sure Bentley can be present for the birth. (That ought to scar the kid for life. Watching his baby brother crawl out from Mackenzie’s loins may even be more frightening than seeing Gary get his vasectomy on the last episode!)
Of course, Ryan will only be able to watch his Oopsie Baby come into the world via video chat, since he is still in The ‘Hab. (Hopefully MTV had the decency to hire Teen Mom 2 star Barbara Evans to go into the delivery room and give Ryan a play-by-play of what’s going on. “Well Juh-nelle…I mean Ryan…ya can almost see tha head! Christ on a Cracka here he comes!”)
Taylor and Maci talk about how great of a big brother Bentley is and Maci says she wants to make sure Bentley is as close to Ryan’s new kid as he is to Maci and Taylor’s own Posse of Oopsie Babies.
Next, we head to Texas to hear Bristol talk crap on her ex-husband Dakota. She’s taking Tripp to football practice and encouraging him to tackle the ever-loving crap out of the kids on the other team, despite the fact that it’s against the rules. Tripp tells her he doesn’t want to do it, but Bristol insists that he get aggressive.
Tripp is really the star of this scene. He looks SO OVER his mom, her car cameras and forced discussions. We haven’t seen this level of eye-rolling since Mackenzie gave Maci “The Letter” at the ‘Teen Mom’ Reunion a few years back! (“It’s been 217 days, 1049 hours…”)
Bristol tells Tripp not to embarrass the family while he’s out on the field. (After all, he’s kind of a Palin, and, as we all know, the Palins have never done or said anything stupid in public. Just ask all those Alaskans who are still trying to see Russia from their windows!)
In an attempt to create a story line for the cameras, Bristol asks Tripp if he’s bummed that Dakota isn’t his football coach anymore. Tripp doesn’t care. Bristol then asks him if he is sad that he doesn’t really have a relationship with Dakota anymore. Tripp doesn’t care. Bristol continues to prod the kid, peppering him with questions about his feelings for Dakota. Tripp looks like he wants to throw himself out of the car and into moving traffic.
He finally screeches at his mom that he doesn’t want to have this conversation— especially on-camera— and Bristol looks genuinely confused. How could anyone not want to bash Dakota on-camera!?
Next, we head to California, where Cory and Cheyenne have returned from their trip to Michigan just in time for Cheyenne’s oddly-named sister’s baby shower. Cheyenne’s sister– R. Kelly Lint— has asked Cheyenne to be her baby’s godmother and is planning to ask Cory to be the godfather.
The next day at the baby shower, the group wraps themselves in toilet paper (as you do) and then Cheyenne and Cory are officially announced as the godparents to baby “Baaz.”
What in the actual hell kind of name is Baaz? Maybe “Tezlee” isn’t all that “baaz” of a name after all…
Over in Indiana, Amber — who has and always will be the epitome of high fashion and class– is sporting her finest hot pink bathrobe for a day of couch-lounging. (It must be the one day of the week she’s required to roll her body off the bed, in order to prevent getting bed sores! Safety first!)
Andrew is also quite the vision in terrycloth. Amber somehow manages to up the class level by letting everyone know how much Andrew is “sweatin'” in his robe. Nothing says “haute” quite like proclamations of perspiration, am I right?!
“You just want to look like a G,” she tells him.
Amber then tells Andrew that Leah has become self-conscious about the hair on her legs, so she and Kristina plan to teach Leah to shave her legs. (Surely Amber is all too excited to bust out those shiv-making skills she picked up while in “gel.”)
Meanwhile in Michigan, Cate is off horsin’ around while Tyler hangs out with a beardless Butch, who has just arrived home from rehab for a visit. Tyler admits to his dad that the baby Catelynn is pregnant with is, indeed, an Oopsie Baby. (I mean…is there really any other kind of baby on this show?!)
Tyler oh-so-eloquently explains that a trap baby was the last thing he needed to add to his miserable marriage.
“F**k no!” Tyler responds when Butch asks if the kid was planned.
If only there were some way for these knuckleheads to prevent getting knocked up! Oh…wait…
“I’m not going to bring no f**king innocent kid into this s**t,” he adds, completely overlooking the fact that he and Cate are doing just that.
Butch then probes Tyler on whether or not he thinks about other women and Tyler admits that he does, adding that he wants the old Cate from the early years of ‘Teen Mom,’ not the one who is constantly talking about “boundaries and triggers” and buying therapy pigs and whatnot.
Back in Indiana, Amber and Andrew arrive at Gary and Kristina’s house for Shave Fest 2018. Amber has brought an assortment of shaving products (including, but not limited to, “gel”) for Leah. The girls (and the MTV camera crew) then head to the shower for a tutorial that Leah will 100 percent bring up to her therapist one day.
Meanwhile in Michigan, Tyler’s sister, Amber, has accompanied Butch on a trip home from her respective ‘Hab to check to make sure her kids are still alive.
I think that’s nice…
During the visit, Butch and Cate slip away to have a heart-to-heart about their messy past, including those heartwarming 16 and Pregnant days, back when Butch was married to April, druggin’ it the hell up and rocking that famous mullet.
MTV then treats us to a throwback clip that reminds us why Butch’s apology tour is so very necessary. He gets emotional and tells Cate he just wants to make things right, realizing that he was a giant crapnozzle for the bulk of the time he’s known Cate.
Back at Baaz’s baby shower, Cheyenne and her friend Remy sit down to chat about Cory’s involvement in her life. Cheyenne tells Remy she might be having more serious feelings for Cory—aka the exact same storyline these two have been serving up since their ‘Teen Mom OG’ debut.
(We may or may not have dozed off during this segment. If anyone asks, we were outside feeding the therapy horses.)
Next, we gallop back to Tennessee, where Ryan and Mackenzie’s baby, Jagger (JESUS GOD LEAH…) has finally arrived. Despite the less-than-favorable situation he’s been born into, everyone is doing their best to (make like a ‘Teen Mom’ pregnancy test and) be positive.
When Bentley gets back home, Maci and Taylor fire off a round of questions about the baby and ask Bentley if he wants more siblings. To no surprise, Bentley says no.
Back at Gary and Kristina’s house, the shaving party has almost come to an end. Much like Butch’s face, Leah’s legs are now free from hair.
Amber tells Kristina it’s important that she be present for important moments in Leah’s life, especially after not being there for the kid in the past. Kristina and Gary are on-board with including Amber in special moments, and Gary pretends he’s not just agreeing because Amber still has that razor in her hand.
Back at Cate and Tyler’s house, the slop is being slung and Butch is just giddy at the fact that everyone is sitting down together to eat like a family. (Having everyone eating together must have reminded Butch of the fond memories he has of the prison chow hall.)
Later on, Tyler walks his mom and sister out to the car and the three talk about how Tyler and Cate are going to try living separately.
Amber tells her brother she’s proud of him for making such a big decision and not worrying about what people will say about it. Tyler says he’s not worried about what others think of him, which is already pretty clear by the fashion choices he makes.
“Oh I don’t care how I’m perceived. I’ll look like a complete prick head, guaranteed,
he says. “But that’s fine because I just know me so it’s like, I’m a prick, dick, insensitive, whatever you want to call it.”
Tyler’s mom says she’s anxious for the separation to be over so everyone will know whether Tyler and Cate plan to officially split or if they’re going to stay together.
Will Baby Tezlee be the poorly named string that holds Cate and Ty together?! We’ll have to wait and see…
Until next time!
To read The Ashley’s previous ‘Teen Mom OG’ recap, click here!
(Photos: MTV)
36 Responses
It is Carolyn.
Apparently, Cheyenne’s bizarrely named sister was given the actual first name of “R” to represent “Our” first child. R’s middle name of Kylelynn is a combination of her mother’s middle name and her father’s middle name. Soooo……yeeeaaahhh.
https://www.theeighteenthletter.com/bio
I checked out her website. Interesting. I didn’t know she was a poet. Here is an example of one of them:
“….My DNA Messenger RNA
Transcribing My Reality Totalitty
Describing A Decaying Aurreality
Prescribing DNR Plurality Amorality
Kinda Sorry Sike!
Get the Fuck out my Dream Life Like
Ghostly Business Berry Like
Unsportsmanlike Weaselin Rabbitlike
Bread knife.”
What?? I’m so confused….so her first name is actually the letter “R”?? it’s not short for something??…Lord have mercy…we have R, Baaz, and a soon to be Tezlee. Shame on all of these parents. You would think that because R’s name is so horrendous that she would give her 1st born a normal name…but she went with “Baaz”…These name’s aren’t creative…they’re STUPID…and Cate and Tyler are definitely naming that baby Tezlee out of spite, because she’s not a boy.
While I do feel for Cate, she shouldn’t have tried to keep him by getting pregnant again, no way she was on birth control (isn’t it incredible that one franchise can have so many oopsie babies). What dafuq was that leg shaving tutorial about. Is that a thing now? Amber’s judgement is just so flawed in all areas of her life. Leah thought it was cool then, but she will never ever live that down amongst her peers and why did it take two mothers and two hours to teach her how to do it, it’s not rocket science, I “figured it out” in like three minutes, in the bathroom alone. Cheyenne’s segments are so nauseating, I just fast forward through them, you know she used a casting call on Craigslist to find aspiring models/actresses to play her “friends”. Maci’s segments have been reduced too tonselectomies and talking about Bentley going to see his grandparents (snore, time to hang up the towel). Tripp is such a handsome kid, too bad he’s tied up with that family. I actually like the ex-husband, he’s keeping it real and cashing his checks at the same time *respect. Apparently Bristol is doing interviews saying the show is fake or something, she’s so ridiculous, she was all up the OG’s asses talking about what a fan she was when they went to New York, have several seats bish.
I felt so bad for Tripp. Bristol was obviously forcing the convo for filming sake, it should’ve happened in private. Cheyenne makes Maci and Taylor look like saints always partying and drinking liquor with her child present. Speaking of, It was refreshing that Maci encouraged and promoted Bentley being present for his new brothers birth, hope Mack truck appreciates that but she probably won’t. Cate and Tyler should go ahead and spare poor Nova and her unfortunately named sibling the pain and just get a divorce, it’s obvious Tyler has checked out of the marriage. I feel that Leah is WAY too young for shaving at only 10 years old, it was nice of Kristina to let Amber tag along though, after all she’s been raising her daughter for years ??♀️ Lastly, because I have to pay homage, I see you Amber Baltierra! Welcome back trap queen ?
I disagree every time Cheyenne drinks is for some occasion. And Maci always has her children with her while she’s drinking (last time she was pregnant and drinking). You can tell by how old Maci looks that her alcohol consumption and smoking has taking a toll on her. In addition Jade and Maverick always look unkept. People tend to act if Maci is so great but she’s not she dropped out of college, has no job, drinks while pregnant, buys new cars and houses but owes the IRS, she’s just don’t nothing with her life.
I personally feel Leah is too young to be shaving her legs.
I’d have to disagree. I’d definitey say too young for a parent to be introducing it, but she was the one who felt uncomfortable. I have very light skin and dark hair (as an adult I wax because otherwise the root is still visible. Also it lasts longer and I’m a low-grade masochist) and at Leah’s age I had at least much leg hair as most women and forcing a girl to have hairy legs when her peers’ unshaven legs *look* shaven is unnecessary. If I’d been made to wait until say, 13 I would have literally had more leg hair than some of the boys. Let’s not even get started on bikini lines (read: very upper leg) and pubic hair.
I doubt Leah’s leg hair was that bad.
Nor was mine when I started shaving at her age. But what would be the point of waiting until some arbitrary age where it was?
We don’t make an early-developing nine-year-old who needs a bra go without one until she reaches a magic age where it’s ok.
It’s a development thing.
A bra is a completely different story.
She’s on the cusp of adolescence, and getting to be that age where girls (and boys) can get very self conscious and start developing body image issues. If Leah’s leg hair is making her self conscious enough to the point she is wearing pants when it’s hot out, I don’t see what the problem with her shaving is? It’s such a simple thing, and if it makes her feel better where is the harm? I feel like people get waayyyyy too hung up on “He/She shouldn’t do this until they are [this age]”. Seriously, why would it matter if she shaves her legs at 10 versus 12? What harm would it do to her in the long run? Absolutely none. She is the one who was mature enough to bring up how she felt (I think it’s AWESOME that she feels comfortable enough to approach Gary and Kristina with something like that. I would have been way to embarrassed to talk to my mother about that, I remember dry shaving with a used razor because I had no idea how to do it and couldn’t go to my mom- ouch!). That’s a sign of a healthy relationship.
Looking back I remember most of the girls in my school started shaving in 5th grade, which is 10/11. So it’s definitely not abnormal.
I disagree. Leg shaving should be just like every other aspect of puberty and happen when necessary. My mom did not let met shave until I was 12. I was always very self conscious about it trying to hide my legs so no one would notice. We didn’t share a bathroom so it was much harder to sneak and do it without permission. Definitely wish I could have when I was ready/when I needed to, not when I reached a certain age.
I just finished watching THIS week’s episode of TM and now I have to go to some other site to discuss it? No TheAshley! THIS IS WRONG.
You need to do better to catch up with the episodes (please please please please I beg you please please please).
Then go to the other sites; no one will miss you. Have some sympathy for Ashley! She has to track all these girls all the time with all their baby daddy fighting, pregnancy test taking, drug abusing, instagram failing, podcast blathering ways. It takes a lot of time!
You can discuss last weeks, this weeks or next weeks episode here! No one gets mad about that! There is NO other site that recaps like The Ashley! She’s the BEST!
Often late, but The Ashley’s recaps are always worth the wait! Thanks to The Ashley I save an hour of my life every week not watching TM OG since her recaps are better than the show anyway.
I agree, she is the best and that’s why it would be great if her posts were on time. It wasn’t a demand and nobody is getting mad over it.
I hope you saved your receipt so you can get your money back because the recap was late.
Oh wait – this is FREE. She owes you nothing.
It’s fine to be disappointed and impatient for a new recap, but telling someone that owes you nothing that they need to do a better job? That’s pushing it a little too far. Be respectful and appreciative for what she does for us.
It’s funny because i really believe Leah sees Kristina as her “real mom”. The one who helps with her homework, cooks dinner, and drives her to soccer practice or school or whatever. When she is with Amber she is counting down the seconds until she goes back to her “real life”. Amber was just there for show and a segment to make it seem like she is actually present in her daughter’s life. I always think the same about the Jace/Jenelle/Barb situation.
Doesn’t Cheyenne have a home ? She is always filmed at a party somewhere !
all jokes aside i think it was good for them to show amber and kristina showing leah how to shave her legs and made me realize these kids really are growing up
I felt so bad for Leah when they filmed that whole shaving her legs thing. That’s kind of a private thing that they just broadcasted on national tv. I wonder how much she got made fun of at school for that.
I really hope Leah didn’t feel pressured to do it (invite her mom & crew), maybe she really thought it would be fun? The whole situation seems really awkward to me, especially with BOTH your mom and stepmother. Luckily I had an older sister that showed me, talked me through it, but I can’t imagine a national audience. Like you said, what about her classmates?
While I agree with you completely in general terms, the sad news is that having camera crews around is the only lief Leah knows. I would be curious to know what happens to these kids when all the attention (for good or bad) fades. It’s going to be a tough adjustment.
“I’m so anxious for the separation to be over so everyone knows if you’ll stay together or not.”
Those are the words of a mother who really hopes her son finds happiness elsewhere. As I’ve said 100 times before, Cate and Tyler don’t seem compatible anymore. It’s like they’ve grown apart. Cate is toxic and too emotionally unstable to be the matriarch of a family. That’s proven to be too much responsibility for her
Why do these parents make their children suffer with the terrible names?!
Why do the parents have to make their children suffer with the terrible names?!
My bet is they know they will have more so if one kid has a bad name, maybe the next one will have a better one. (I’m pretty sure Carly would have been named differently if it weren’t for BrandonandTheresa)
Carly’s name would’ve probably been Jubilee or something else ridiculous ending in “lee”
I believe her legal name is Carolyn,vbut I could be wrong!
This episode sounds like a new low as far as baby names are concerned. If you had to choose between these three names, what would you name your baby? Tezlee, Baaz, or Jagger?
Jagger. No contest. Recognized as a name and people would know how to spell it.
Because those are the depths to which this show has sunk.
Woof – tough choice. That’s like asking if you’d rather be Ensley Eason and stuck with Jenelle and David and parents or Ariana Magro with Rahn and crazy Jen as your parents.
Sophie’s choice!