After much anticipation, The Hills New Beginnings kicked off this week in all of its lingering-camera-shot glory. In case you had something better to do with your time (what’s that like?!) and weren’t able to catch the premiere, here’s a look at the top 5 wildest moments:
1. Justin Bobby Brescia and Audrina Patridge reunite… and possibly rekindle their romance/remove their clothes.
Justin Bobby once (in)famously stated that “truth and time tell all,” and this week’s premiere proved that he may have actually been right. While meeting up for dinner, viewers saw Audrina and Justin engage in some mild flirting; however, we learn later on in the episode that their trip down memory lane may have also included a trip to the Boneyard!
While talking to Brody Jenner’s wife about her reunion with Justin Bobby, Audrina offers little details but ensures that the two of them “had a good night.”
“We had a night, we had a good night… to say the least,” Audrina says.
Our takeaway: truth and time really do tell all and old habits die hard (or sometimes they don’t die at all).
2. Pamela Anderson sages her son’s crotch.
The morning (well, afternoon) after a late night of partying, Brandon Lee Thomas gets a visit from his mom, Pamela Anderson. The former Baywatch star stops by to check out her son’s new digs while serving us her best Pamela-meets-Stepford-Wife getup. Despite Brandon’s penchant for eating Lucky Charms, Pamela ultimately gives him and the home her motherly stamp of approval. She then proceeds to sage both the house and Brandon’s genitals.
AS.YOU.DO.
Better safe than sorry?
3. Stephanie Pratt & Mischa Barton swap horror stories.
Now that the two “old friends” have returned to Los Angeles, Stephanie and Mischa head to the beach to catch up over a picnic at sunset. What initially looks like it will be a lighthearted chat over a fruit and veggie tray soon turns into an exchange of heavy stories that would rival any storyline from The O.C.
After Stephanie recounts the time she overdosed on drugs while shoplifting and woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed, Mischa shares the betrayal she suffered at the hands of an ex-boyfriend.
“I met this guy through my neighbor and I just like, immediately fell in love in this whirlwind romance and then I found out that none of that was true,” she explains. “I was really a target for him. He had been recording me in the shower, he had a whole stockpile of footage of me. It was pretty traumatizing.”
4. Brody crashes in his car.
Brody’s wife Kaitlynn makes her debut in the episode during a confrontation with Brody, in which we learn that Brody slept in his car the night before. Brody justifies his backseat snooze by accusing Kaitlynn of being “a nightmare” when he came home after a late night of “working” at the club “da club.”
The upside to snagging a job on a reality show? Plenty of spare cash to furnish a guest room.
5. Whatever the hell this was.
In the first half of the episode, MTV chose to reintroduce viewers to Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag by way of an awkward slow-motion bathroom montage. While the scene was brief, it still managed to bring back all the familiar Speidi feels we used to get while watching ‘The Hills’ (i.e. lots of cringe sweats and secondhand embarrassment).
In other words, keep your Pratt Daddy glass full of the good stuff… it’s going to be a long season!
RELATED STORY: Heidi Montag Says Mischa Barton Joining ‘The Hills: New Beginnings’ Was Frustrating: “We’ve Put Our Whole Lives Into This Show”
(Photos: MTV)
8 Responses
Its Brandon Thomas Lee not Brandon Lee Thomas.
WOW!!! Could this show be anymore fake! What kind of moron watches this crap?!
ShePratt coming on with that fake accent lol
So far I actually like Kaitlynn. I guess because I don’t know much about her…Everyone else on the show (aside from Brandon) it all seems so fake. When in hell did Heidi become friends with Whitney? When the hell did Stephanie and Audrina get so close? When the hell did Brody become so cool with Justin Bobby? Speidi….Imma just leave that there…and really, WTF was up with Heidi’s bubble bath?? It really looked like that Cardi B. bathtub scene from Love and Hip Hop…When the hell did Stephanie start thinking she was the HBIC? I guess all that time in London really got to her head…To me it was the fakest thing ever. All of this just proves that LC and Kristin really carried the original Hills and are missed. I will say that Pam leaving the country once Trump became President was pretty funny.
So excited for the hills!
I dated a “Justin bobby” type. They are hard to get over because they never really do any one thing wrong, which would make it easier to end it. They just won’t commit. Reminds me of Mr big from SAC.
Adrina and Justin (what happened to Justin/Bobby?) Always seemed fake to me and they still seem really fake.
I live how they glossed over Spiedi going crazy and living in a hut in (Costa Rica?). And how Hiedi seems to be going through some serious postpartum separation anxiety, or maybe they still just crazy paranoid if everyone.
The thing that I don’t understand and that seems so wrong is that Spiedi and Mishka Barton have both had some serious paranoia and fear of the paparazzi yet, they return to this show and engage with the people that hurt them. I guess they just ran out of money.
I didn’t realize Caitlin Jenner found her name after her son had been dating someone with the same name for over a year. W.T.F?
Speidi has never been afraid of the camera. They hire paps to take “candid’s” of them IN the grocery store. Everything that they do is for attention and a paycheck. Mischa on the other hand…she genuinely seems very shy and to not like all of the media attention.
My mother never once saged my genitals, I’m starting to question her love for me.