After surviving last week’s Counting On Campout from Hell, the Duggars have been hosed down in the front yard of the Compound — courtesy of Jana, we’re assuming — and are back to doing the same strange Duggar activities we all know and love (to make fun of). 

We’re kicking off this episode’s Fundie fest at Jinger and Jeremy’s house in Laredo, where Jeremy and Felicity are creating a giant mess Mother’s Day gift for Jinger. 

The art project briefly goes awry when Felicity decides to make a snack of the paint, but Jeremy marches on, distracting his daughter by dragging her across a canvas — the way all major masterpieces are created.   

After revealing Felicity’s finished project to Jinger, the Duggar kids are quizzed on what style of art her piece falls under, but because art history class slipped through the cracks of the Duggar homeschooling curriculum, most kids are left confused. 

Joe and Kendra pay Jeremy and Jinger a visit in Laredo. They’re there to help Jing and Jer pack up their belongings to prepare for their upcoming move to Los Angeles. 

Soon, Post-Its are placed all around the house, designating what items are to be kept, sold or donated — aka hauled back to the Duggar Compound for Jana to refinish and decorate her next married sibling’s house with.

During the Fundie purging of items, the producers ask the married couples who the packrat is in their marriage. Jim Bob and  Michelle go first. (So…we have just basically accepted them to be a major part of this show now? It’s basically just “19 Kids and Counting” now, isn’t it?)

Michelle says she’s a total minimalist, except when it comes to popping out blessings, of course. Jim Bob, on the other hand, admits that he’s “a collector.” 

As the Vuolo kitchen clean out continues, Garrett plays with a blender while Felicity cries in her bouncer, probably out of boredom due to not having an appliance of her own. Meanwhile, Joe and Jeremy take care of some “handyman” work around the house. 

Back in Duggar Women Headquarters, otherwise known as the kitchen, Jinger asks Kendra how her pregnancy is going and Kendra cheerfully reports she’s no longer suffering from morning sickness and is back to doing the things she’s enjoys, such as cooking food for Joe to lick off of his plate.

Naturally, Kendra asks Jinger if she and Jeremy will be “expanding” their family anytime soon and Jinger responds with “who knows” — a far better answer than the standard “we’ll have as many as God gives us” that the Duggars usually hit us with.

Over in Arkansas, the Duggar kids are hard at work on their “jurisdictions” — more commonly referred to as “chores” by us sinners and heathens. With Jana nowhere to be found at the moment (fingers crossed that she finally made her big escape!) Jenni is left to mix some sort of batter in the kitchen alone, all while huffing and puffing.

(Not gonna lie…Jenni is blowing her siblings out of the water in the running to become our favorite Duggar kid, based solely on her tendency to complain about the constant nonsense going on around her.)

While we know the Duggar Family is a fertile bunch of Fundies, we learn on this episode that their animals like to get in on the blessing making as well, with a calf being the latest to join the Compound. 

Michelle says the kids are having a great time taking care of the calf, so much in fact, that she and Anna have integrated the animal care taking into their homeschooling curriculum. Oh, and just to give you an idea of what sort of specifics this curriculum entails, Michelle suggests that the kids make the calf some daisy earrings to wear, because everyone knows there’s nothing Jesus loves more than a well-accessorized farm animal. 

Back in Laredo, Jeremy and Jinger take Joe and Kendra out to their favorite restaurant to thank them for cleaning their house for free, or as we like to call it, Pulling a Jana. After arriving to the restaurant, Joe the plate licker is super impressed that the waitstaff are wearing something other than blue jeans. Plus, he didn’t even have to holler his order into a clown’s mouth or anything! 

Movie stars, swimmin’ pools….

We then cut to Duggar family members who share stories about their ballin’ on a budget days, back when Jim Bob would buy 20 hamburgers or chicken sandwiches from the dollar menu for his family. (We all know he’d probably eat half of them himself and leave the rest for the other Duggars to fight over.)  

Back at the restaurant, Joe and Kendra marvel over the offerings on the fancy restaurant menu as well as the lack of chicken fingers.

Kendra asks the table if anyone knows what a ‘red snapper’ is.

“It’s a turtle!” Joe proclaims.

Jeremy refrains from embarrassing his hillbilly relatives, and simply states that a red snapper is a fish. He then explains another item on the menu, which is a type of fungus that grows deep in Mexico.

Eventually Joe and Kendra agree to try some fried frog legs and are pleasantly surprised by the taste. The group then dive into their second dish without any knowledge of what they’re eating, only to find out they’ve been crunching on grasshopper tacos — surprisingly not from Jill’s upcoming Creepy Crawly Critters Cuisine Cookbook. 

Because the producers have grown bored of this week’s episode like the rest of us, they take this opportunity to liven things up by having some of the Duggars do a little tasting of their own. Today’s special: more grasshoppers. While it isn’t a bag full of 20 hamburgers, Jim Bob is pretty pumped about the food. Michelle… not so much. 

After force-feeding their family offerings from the local nature trail, Jeremy and Jinger take Kendra and Joe to do some sightseeing in Laredo where they catch a live performance of a mariachi band. We then cut to the Duggars talking about the type of music they prefer.

Oh Jesus God Jim Bob, this should be quite the treat…

Jim Bob says in order to maintain the no dancing rule in Duggar world, the family avoids anything with a “rock beat” to prevent involuntary “jiggling around.” (Trust me, Jim Bob, nobody wants to see you “jiggling around.”)

Michelle adds that harp music is particularly great for combating the “crazy hours” when her kids want to have actual fun. 

Back at the Compound, it’s (contractually-obligated) Duggar Family Fun Night, so the herd of Duggars, spouses and children who couldn’t think of an excuse to get out of this fast enough make their way over for a painting class. While watching an instructional video on how to paint clouds or something, Joy and Austin announce they’re expecting Blessing #2. The family is thrilled per usual, though Jim Bob seems slightly bothered that the news interrupted his creative process. 

Someone cue up the harp music — Jim Bob needs a moment. 

On the next episode of ‘Counting On’, the married Duggars head out on some sort of Bird Box-meets-couples therapy retreat, Jeremy and Jinger sell their used crap on the sidewalk and a few of the couples renew their vows because unlike their wedding day, they actually know each other now. 

To read The Ashley’s other ‘Counting On’ recaps, click here! 

(Photos: TLC)