Farrah Abraham— recently launched a new website for her daughter, Sophia, to promote Sophia’s entertainment industry offerings (or something). Although the website is about Sophia, who is described as an “Actor, Model & TV Personality,” Farrah naturally managed to work her mug into as many nooks and crannies of the website as possible!
Thankfully (for our amusement), Farrah also worked in plenty of her signature Farrah Speak, which is the term coined by The Ashley to describe the unique form of the English language Farrah uses when she’s attempting to sound smart. Since The Ashley is fluent in “Farrah Speak,” she has decided to use her services and highlight six of the funniest quotes pulled from the website. All of these quotes were very clearly written by Farrah (who, if you’ll remember once described herself on her other website as “the #1 Celebrity in Our Nation).
(Also, The Ashley would like to point out to anyone who will claim she is making fun of a child’s website: this website is about Sophia but the text was written by Farrah.)
On with the Farrah Speak show! (Obviously, The Ashley has copied the text here exactly as it is on the website, to preserve that special “Farrahism” blend of confusion and complete disregard for the English language.)
“Sophia’s passion of singing, dancing, acting, and modeling matched with her silly, brilliance makes her one to watch in 2020.”
Sophia’s “Story” is chock-full of Farrah Speak goodness! With incomplete sentences, complete lack of punctuation and, of course, plenty of weird, not-so-humble brags, this gem-of-a-sentence is just the beginning of the grammar nightmare!
“Sophia has been featured on covers of Life&Style, Us weekly, INTouch, and hundreds of top media and press news outlets for her eyebrows, loosing teeth, birthdays, top girls name, beauty brands, social platforms and much more.”
Here, Farrah attempts to brag about all the media exposure Sophia has had over her lifetime. (Naturally, she does this without any punctuation.) Farrah fails to disclose that when Sophia was featured in these magazines for her “eyebrows” or “loosing teeth” (yesss!) the bulk majority of the stories were negative and criticizing Farrah’s parenting decisions. (You can find an example of this here!)
“Sophia has been featured in music videos such as “Blowin” for anti-bullying that grossed over 3 million views, covers of a New York Times Best selling book “My Teenage Dream Ended“ with over 500,000 copies sold. Sophia also has created a natural beauty kit for mothers and children that is seasonal “Mommy & Me” Kit..”
What in the driveway PortaPotty is this mess? The sentences have no end and all run together to create this grammatical horror show! The Ashley finds the last sentence especially “precious,” in that it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
“Sophia is currently raised by her loving mother and highly regarded celebrity icon and business woman, Farrah Abraham.”
Naturally, Farrah couldn’t miss an opportunity to 1) mention herself and 2) mention how famous she is. (She is the “number one celebrity in our nation,” after all!)
“Sophia has continued her career in acting, singing, modeling from reality television and entertainment on MTV’s hit Franchised shows Teen Mom and Teen Mom OG new season this 2020.”
The Ashley is a certified “Farrah Speak” translator. However, even she is having trouble figuring out what in the “belligerent, anti-Christ attitude” Farrah is trying to say here. The Ashley believes that Farrah is trying to imply that Sophia will be featured on the 2020 (aka current) season of ‘Teen Mom OG,’ which is definitely not true (except, perhaps, in The Brain of Farrah.)
“This mom & daughter duo concurs the scripted scene in LA among the public antics her single mom goes through elevating in this next decade for them both in this becoming of age podcast.”
This lil’ slice of heaven is under the “Media” section of Sophia’s website. It describes Farrah and Sophia’s “Abraham Girls” podcast. The Ashley particularly enjoys Farrah’s misuse of the word ‘concurs.’ (That word means “agrees.” The word Farrah was looking for here was “conquers.”)
Of course, the true highlight of this quote is Farrah calling it a “becoming of age” podcast. This is more cringe-worthy than watching Debz OG wear that purple wig on the ‘Teen Mom OG’ Reunion set.
(Photos: Photo by Sean Zanni/Getty Images; MTV; Instagram)
42 Responses
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honestly farrah would be a great person on TLC’s new show s’mothered …..
Ok so I couldn’t help but go to the website. Her modelling photos are horrible and her headshots are terrible. I assume Farah took the pics herself. Also lists on her resume that Sophia was a lead on 16 and pregnant. A lead while in the womb??? That is some great acting. I would hardly call her a lead on TM or 16.
No disrespect to Sophia but she is going to have a tough road as she (like most girls her age) enter the awkward preteen stage. We know she isn’t getting a good education so she is going to have a tough adult life I fear.
Trying to decode Farrah speak is giving me a headache. Do people even take her seriously anymore? ???
I would bet money that Farrah, the slore, will attempt to “Pretty Baby” Sophia’s virginity off to the top bidder, and film it “for when she’s older to look back at, as she says of her own sex tape.
Sadly, in this case, this child is RUINED at 11….actually probably from birth. But, a child is what they are going to be, personality-wise, by age 5. As another said earlier, this generational psychosis continues.
Farrah has had therapy, but she needs intense inpatient therapy from the looks of things. Someone, her milquetoast father perhaps, should go to Court and indicate she is mentally unstable and needs help STAT. And, in turn, get Sophia into some intense inpatient therapy too. But neither of her parents want to go against her for fear they will be cut off and lose all hope. Sad, sad, sad trainwreck of a family.
Sophia would have done a better job writing it.
Wtf has happent to this woman? I remember her 16&P and early TM and she was spoiled and unlikeable but she is now bat shit crazy!! Debz too. Something seriously went wrong with then all.
See in 16 & pregnant and the first seasons of teen mom, although she was spoiled and annoying, I still felt like she was a good mom then who actually did a good job taking care of sophia and putting her first. But over the years she’s increasingly become a fucking lunatic
The sad and scary part is Sophia is being home-schooled by Farrah.
From day one it was all about Farrah and using her daughter as an accessory only.
Farrah is unrecognizable in that first photo. Remember when Heidi from The Hills got all that plastic surgery and was on the cover of that magazine and it was a huge deal because she looked 100% like a different person? That’s what this reminds me of. Nowadays nobody blinks an eye at that kind of work done.
I feel for Sophia, and in a way for Farrah too. What did her parents do to her? What was done to her parents? This kind of dysfunction is generational, and it doesn’t look like the cycle will be broken anytime soon.
HLC86….I get what ur saying, and I respect ur point of view, however Farrah is a grown woman who knows right from wrong. She’s exploiting her own daughter for her own gain and that’s wrong. We don’t know what kind of childhood she had. We do know how she speaks to everyone, like they are beneath her, including her daughter, and that’s wrong too. As a parent, you can love and guide ur children the best that you can, including the mistakes we all make along the way, but at a certain point, those children become adults, they know right from wrong and they are going to choose their own path, regardless of the chaos you may see waiting ahead before them. Remember, kids at any age know everything and parents know nothing. (Apparently we just never have ?)
What kind of hard drugs is this deluded slore on?
I seriously can’t think of any other reasonable explanation for her behavior. It goes far beyond narcissism and other mental illnesses.
Slore? I’ve never heard that but I LOVE IT!!!!
Why have I not been getting your post?
this is a woman who took it up the butt for all the world (and her daughter) to see. she makes me puke. did she throw this together at 2am? who writes like this? why didn’t she hire someone? it would not surprise me at all if we eventually see sophia doing porn in a few years (with the whole family’s full support).
1) It took her days to come up with this beauty so you can imagine what the rough draft must have looked like.
2) She is flat broke so she can’t hire someone who knows 1st grade grammar which is why she is selling her daughter out even more.
did she just say that sophia was mentioned in magazines because of having a “top girls names”? this woman is a sick f@ck.
all the magazine covers she appeared on were TABLOIDS Farrah!!! this is not something to brag about. this freak should be so ashamed. why is she doing this to her child? it makes me want to just cry. i can only pray that sophia will swing the completely opposite way and go to school, keep her name out of the press, ignore her mother and stay away from this industry. if not, i fear that farrah will literally raise her to be a CRAZY PERSON!
“I can speak Spanish.
-That’s cool, but I speak German, it’s very hard to learn. And you?
-I Farrahspeak.
-Wow, respect!”
SAVE SOPHIA 2020.
It’s to late …..there’s no saving this one.
In fact Farrah has probably got her lined up for her first “movie”
According to blind items she has been negotiating her fee for Sophias 18th birthday for a few years now… I hope it’s not true
Jesus God Leah. I tried to decipher what the hell she was trying to say before I read The Ashley’s translation and there was just no way to do it, I have a day job in editing and if she were one of my potential clients I would have to kindly reject that account. I truly believe something is really mentally off with Farrah, perhaps dyslexia mixed with some sort of substance abuse. I definitely see a Courtney Stodden situation here and I hate to say it, but that might actually be a safer situation for Sophia than being with her totally crazed mother. Did she really brag about being on the cover of magazines because of her eyebrows?
You called lol.
Holy smokes! I never laughed so hard. Farrah is PRICELESS. Meaning no one would have her. Bet she goes back to her porn job to supplement her income. Hahahahaha
Stop trying to make “Sophia” happen
100%!!!! Sophia is never going to be a child star. She doesn’t have the charisma. She can neither act nor sing. She’s weird (not in a good way) due to the ridiculous environment she’s grown up in.
OMG, classic Farrah-speak, I love it!! Reading them hurts my eyes and brain and I lose IQ points. I’d love to know what Daddy Derek’s fam thunk of Farrah.
If you want to be entertained go check out Dez OG’s insta….she’s teaching tiktok dances.
I read that last one about three times and I could not comprehend what the hell it even means. I’m just waiting for the tell all book from Sophia when she’s old enough. Can you imagine what living in that house must be like? Ugh
Farrah, get your unemployed anti-Christ ass into therapy. Sophia deserves emancipation from you.
Farrah is just the worst. All this nonsense makes me recall a Britain’s Got Talent segment called Like Mother Like Daughter (look it up) with this young mother desperate for fame as a singer, with a really sullen young teen daughter in tow. The mother constantly speaks for the daughter and eventually tries to barge in on her solo audition. So self-obsessed that she doesn’t even care about her own flesh and blood. Exactly like Farrah.
Why not just let the poor kid go to a regular school and join clubs and develop her own interests, and eventually maybe going into marketing or engineering or nursing? Sophia is beyond redemption, and will almost certainly go into some kind of sex work. It’s so sad.
It’s kind of like… if you write something and every word you use “thesaurus” in Word? So that the sentence is unrecognizable.
I would not have figured out “concur” = “conquer” if The Ashley hasn’t told me.
I had some time to kill and went to Sophia’s website. Under “actors resume” is a bunch of super cringe videos. Produced by F & S production Inc. Farrah is possibly the most delusional broad I’ve ever seen and she has made Sophia a carbon copy of her. Also, in that last pic…is Deb OG wearing Farrah’s weave!?!
You skipped right over where she brags about “Sophia” being the number 1 girls name. Like she invented the name Sophia so you should pay her to be an actor/model/dancer/singer
I would bet money that Farrah, the slore, will attempt to “Pretty Baby” Sophia’s virginity off to the top bidder, and film it “for when she’s older to look back at, as she says of her own sex tape.
Sadly, in this case, this child is RUINED at 11….actually probably from birth. But, a child is what they are going to be, personality-wise, by age 5. As another said earlier, this generational psychosis continues.
Farrah has had therapy, but she needs intense inpatient therapy from the looks of things. Someone, her milquetoast father perhaps, should go to Court and indicate she is mentally unstable and needs help STAT. And, in turn, get Sophia into some intense inpatient therapy too. But neither of her parents want to go against her for fear they will be cut off and lose all hope. Sad, sad, sad trainwreck of a family.
Farrah is seriously fucking batshit crazy.
She needs intense therapy.
She reminds me of some other nutter….Remember lol
Lol.
Is it what you doing? Your referring too? ??
2 things here.
Do women today give birth so they have someone to hang out with and make Tic Tok videos with? Someone to make you feel like you’re not alone? Someone to spray paint your dogs with? Someone to fill that Grand Canyon hole in your loveless heart?
Second, am I the only one who wonders if Deb OG catches it the five hole?
stay lit
Don’t be silly. Deb OG had a pocket pussy made with the skin they removed during her face lift. Duh.
My brain has a hurt….. ??
I can’t believe I just read that shit and TRIED to make some sense of it.
That last part read like a Chinese text thrown through Google Translate, pick some phrases and stick em on a shirt or bag to sell at the night market. Farrah could make a killer there!
Also, can I get a degree in Farrah Speak? It seems like a challenging language to learn, Mandarin isn’t cutting it for me anymore. Notify me when you start teaching, The Ashley, MA!
LMFAOOOOO what a joke. Farrah, not Sophia.. I feel bad for the kid ? I wonder what she really likes to do for fun..
sophia’s real interests? i don’t know, sitting in fetal position, rocking back and forth with her hands over her ears?
maybe her interests include printing out every word Farrah had ever written about her, pics she ever posted, and gathering them in a binder. this will be presented as evidence of self defense and parental abuse at Sophias murder trial, when Sophia finally snaps out and takes a billy club to her mother.