Since the Duggars are currently on hiatus (making more episode and blessings to film about), we are going to start recapping Welcome to Plathville, another show about a Fundie family. Unlike the Duggars, though, the Plaths have had a few of their children break free from the fundie chains of their family and going off to live a life of sin and shirtless wonder. (It’s the kind of thing that would make ol’ Jim Bob Duggar dirty his Dockers just thinking about it!) 

It’s time to take the uncomfortable journey to Plathville!

We kick off Episode 2 with Micah making his return to modeling, showing it all off in Florida with his equally not-shy modeling pal Helena. It all starts out pretty boring – “Micah has sure grown…” – but things liven up of nowhere when Micah brings all the awkward… and we mean ALL of it.

It’s uncomfortable. The stripping down, the obvious boob staring, the shower and body oil… For a guy that not even two Georgia peach pickin’ seasons ago was swimming in jeans and a dress shirt, this is definitely some personal growth.

Embrace freedom buddy, but please stop with the lip biting. It’s bringing creepy cannibal vibes.

Back at Plath Farm, Barry has decided to take his older children’s advice and prepare the kids still at home for life. But because he’s Barry, he, of course, botches the whole thing. Barry takes the only boy (unluckily) still living at home, Isaac, to go trim trees together.

During a break, father and son sit down to talk about the birds and the bees. Despite having NINE DAMN CHILDREN, Barry still has no idea how to speak to a single one of them. Instead of giving his son the sex talk, he starts rambling about how Micah and Moriah have grown up and are probably dating people and he wants to know if Isaac has any questions “about that.”

Barry peppers this catastrophic conversation with Fundie phrases like “season of life,” but even that can’t hide the fact that Isaac would rather saw his own ears off with the tree trimmer than keeping talking to Barry about this.

Next, we check in on the Plath-by-marriage who looks like she needs to scream: Olivia “divorce is on the table” Plath. 

Olivia is 100% living in the real world and is just about fed up with her man-child husband. Ethan is adorable and down right precious, but he’s got a lot more learning and maturing to do to if he ever plans to stop annoying Olivia on the regular.

Olivia is losing a lot of work due to C0VID and has decided to use this time to build her brand and business. How is Ethan helping and encouraging his wife, you ask? By making her food for the first time ever. He’s making pancakes, but it’s Ethan, so of course it needs to be complicated and he needs to drive Olivia nuts the whole time. Finally at her breaking point Olivia tells Ethan that she’s stressed, hormonal and on her period. 

While most husbands would take these comments into consideration and act accordingly, Ethan is not most husbands. No, Ethan is a Plath, and because of this, he didn’t know what a period was until he started dating Olivia. Six sisters and a mom… and this man never knew where the “female bleedings” came from.

“They just kept it to themselves,” Ethan says of his mom and sisters. “With that many girls in a house, I had no idea that was even a thing!”

Another Gold Star for the Plath parents, this time for being masters of deception and secrecy about a totally normal human function. Lord help us.

Ethan apologizes to Olivia for being annoying, as well as for trying to force unwanted pancakes down her bloated gullet. Olivia appreciates the apology.

Meanwhile, sweet innocent Sister Lydia has been granted permission from almighty Mommy Plath to visit Moriah, just as long as it’s a short visit, it doesn’t happen too often and Moriah’s “bitterness” does spill onto Sweet Lydia. 

Moriah pretends to serve Lydia cereal for dinner, but comes clean that she actually made steak, salad and mac and cheese. Oven salad? Eh, she’s trying.

If you didn’t know that Sweet Lydia and Moriah having dinner was a super big deal, you’d think it’s just two sisters talking and eating, Sweet Lydia likes a boy and has liked him for years, Moriah suggests contacting him (SCANDALOUS!), they eat and laugh. It’s obvious why Kim and Barry are concerned: they are clearly paranoid loons.

After all the bad women’s anatomy, a “non sex talk” from hell and way too much shirtless Micah, it seemed this episode really just needs to wrap up. But wait! Moriah has her first date ever! And her excitement and wholesome giddy anticipation is kinda giving us all the feels. Her date is a motorcycle riding frat-guy named Max.

Moriah is worried to tell him about her past and the whole world collectively says, “huh?” This is small town Georgia, has Max not seen Season 1/social media/literally anything about the Plaths? This one feels a bit too staged to be believable, but to their credit, they seem downright smitten and Moriah is making a genuine effort to learn how to have normal experiences in the world she was kept from for so long. She gets a real Gold Star for that.

If nothing else, this show should be watched simply as a “how not to raise children” educational series. Bonus points for the “how not to keep salad fresh” tutorial.

To read The Ashley‘s other reality show recaps, click here! 

(Photos: TLC)