Well, here we are again.
It’s once again time for us to drag our sad selves over to the TV box and sit slack-jawed for an hour while we watch our gang of MTV pals tackle life’s biggest problems: such as whether or not to marry the boy who put an Oopsie Baby in your snotch, or whether to “unfriend” your daughter on Snapchat because she doesn’t want to take any more of your crap.
We kick things off in Indiana with Amber. She had originally planned to spend the day with Leah BooBoo, teaching her all of her esteemed makeup-applying tricks. (You know, it’s important for tween girls to learn how to choose the right shade of blush to wear for a chase around the living room with the ol’ machete.)
Unfortunately, Amber has not received the results of the COVID test she recently took. (Wait, what? These people are legit tested for COVID three times a week by MTV in order to film. I’m calling BS on this!)
Amber calls in sick for her makeup date with Leah, and Gary informs a not-so-surprised-looking Kristina that Leah BooBoo will have to learn all about makeup from someone else. (Hey, if she waits a week or two, Catelynn will probably have a new dream of being a makeup artist, so she can probably help her!)
Kristina tells Gary that she thinks Leah will be hurt that Amber once again cancelled on her. (At this point, isn’t Amber cancelling on Leah just kinda like Gary wearing his ‘Dad Bod’ shirt? You just expect it?)
The next day, Amber is whining to Producer Townsend that Leah hates her now. Amber explains that she was experiencing COVID symptoms so she couldn’t teach Leah her valuable makeup skills (such as which mascara works best for when you’re crying and screaming “I’M DONE!”).
Apparently Leah BooBoo was done with Mommy Dearest cancelling on her and putting herself (and whatever oaf was patting Amber’s poonanny at the time) before Leah. Amber says Leah unleashed on her, telling her off for the recent cancellation, as well as crap Amber had pulled in the past.
We get a few flashback clips of said oafs that have sat temporarily on the Ambie Couch ‘o’ Uselessness. My personal fav is when Amber and Andrew—wearing a “Cats in Space” tee, natch–talk about Leah, whom Amber refers to as a “freaking butthole.” Um…maybe that’s why your kid doesn’t like you, Amb. You’ve been calling her ridiculous— and sometimes downright mean— nicknames since she shot out of your sperm chute.
Amber vows to “get back” her bond with Leah BooBoo because she knows she’s only a few years away from hating her forever/writing the tell-all book we’re all waiting for…
Next we head over to Tennessee, where the boy Oopsie Baby is literally bouncing off the walls of Maci‘s MTV Mansion. (Luckily, he’s careful to miss that giant mountain of restraining orders, leather-pocketed-T-shirt order forms and MTV paycheck stubs that permanently inhabits Maci’s living room.)
Just then, one of Maci’s friends calls her up and informs her that Larry, Ryan‘s dad, did an interview with a tabloid. Maci whips out her phone and reads the interview, (which, by the way, is this one), and is shocked to read that Larry feels like he and his family have been shut out of Bentley’s life by Maci.
Maci (while reading The Roundup— good choice, girl!) tells her friend she thinks that Ryan’s parents are trying to get her attention by saying things to the media they wouldn’t dare say to Maci’s face.
Maci tells her pal that if she went to the media and told them the Edwards Family secrets, Ryan & Co. would hide away in their house like hermits forever out of embarrassment.
Over at Jen and Larry’s, Larry’s in the doghouse because he did the tabloid interview. Larry said “the same girl” calls him all the time and asks him questions. Larry says he only answers her questions because he doesn’t want to be rude. However, Jen advises him to be rude and hang up on the reporter. (By the way, the reporter he’s talking about here is not The Ashley, just to be clear.)
Jen gives Larry his verbal lashings for doing something that will possibly piss Martyr Maci off, and further hurt their relationship with Bentley. Larry hangs his head in shame, knowing he won’t be getting any pickle-tickling tonight!
Over in Los Angeles, Cheyenne is 10 weeks pregnant, and her family is pressuring her to go ahead and have another major life event waiting in the wings, just in case they run out of reasons to throw bi-monthly parties.
Cheyenne and Zach’s families want the couple to starting thinking about marriage first, even though they had barely gotten back together when Chey got sperminated. While out to dinner, Zach’s dad questions “the process” of the parents-to-be and says the two should consider getting hitched in order to stick to tradition.
Um…tradition?! TRADITION? Your son is legit dating a woman who is on a show called ‘Teen Mom,’ and you have MTV paying for your pepperoni pizza, bro. I think we can safely say ‘traditional’ is out the window here.
Zach’s dad soon stops beating around the bush and flat out asks when Cheyenne and Zach are going to “slip a ring on it.”
Um…the only ring Cheyenne should have slipped “on it” was the NuvaRing, but clearly that didn’t happen, Pops.
Cheyenne reminds Zach she has no intention of proposing to herself – at least not within the next 24 hours.
Later on, Cheyenne and Zach do what any couple contemplating an engagement amid a global pandemic would do: sit down with their computer to virtually shop for gigantic diamond rings with a jeweler. (Yes, that’s apparently a thing.)
With the engagement ring business surely suffering in these hard times, the jeweler decides to shoot her shot in hopes of nabbing a hefty commission. She goes on to show off two rings, each just over 3.0 carats and $60,000.
Over in Michigan, Cate and Tyler decide it’s finally time to exercise their right to vote and they are loud (literally) and proud to be first-timers. Tyler and Cate say they’ve never been motivated to hit the polls (only the bowls) and they even go as far as to chaotically rattle off a list of issues that are most important to them.
Cate and Tyler claim that neither of their moms ever participated in elections.
I’ll give you a moment to get over your shock that Cate’s mom April isn’t a leader in her community when it comes to getting people to vote.
Tyler says he’s going to feel guilty if he doesn’t vote in the presidential election and Cate says she wants to do it to set a good example for her own daughters, especially after recently throwing in the towel (and the microblade) on yet another career.
After successfully registering to vote online, Cate and Tyler pat themselves on the back for a job well done actually completing something.
Tyler goes on to reveal that there are some divides in the family, politically speaking, but he doesn’t like to talk about it… until the cameras are around, of course.
Later on, Cate and Tyler visit Tyler’s mom, Kim, who tells the kids she’s also voting for the first time. (WTF? Did Michigan include a 2-for-1 coupon to the Family Food Bar for anyone who votes or something?)
Kim tells Cate and Ty she’ll be voting orange red.
Kim’s comments upset Tyler, who says he wants to “see a different character, integrity, quality.”
Yes…because Tyler and Catelynn— who literally are OK with filling their Tupperware with Cate’s piss— are always big on quality.
Cate adds that she’s interested in electing someone with morals.
(The Ashley would like to interject here to ask that we don’t turn the comment section of this recap into a pro-Trump or anti-Trump debate. The Ashley wants this to be a safe space where we can dump on ‘Teen Mom’ and not have to worry about politics. That is all…)
Anyway, after dinner with pro-Trump Kim, Tyler decides to sit home with the kids while Cate visits Kim and Kim’s husband Bill in an effort to keep this storyline moving along. (Otherwise she will have to pretend to be interested in another career and/or spawn.)
Cate shows up at Kim and Bill’s campsite wearing a Black Lives Matter tee, only for MAGA-hat-wearing Bill to make a rude comment. Before Cate heads back home, Bill invites her to go on a ride on his golf cart, which seems like a nice gesture, until they all take off and Bill’s Trump flag begins waving in the wind as he declares, “we be Trumpin.’”
Back in the Octagon of Triggers, Cate tells Tyler that Bill was rude to her about her Black Lives Matter shirt and while she tries to laugh it off, Tyler says Bill can call him the next time he has something to say. Cate says the political disagreements within their family are nothing to get mad about, but Tyler claims he just can’t help himself.
Tyler and Cate tells the producers not only do their political opinions differ from their family, but they also differ from most of the people that live in their area. Cate says there’s a divide everywhere and Tyler says he just wants to “do the voting so I can be done.”
Down in Florida, Mackenzie and her kids pick up Josh from the airport after being away from him (and his mumbling) for a whole three weeks.
Mackenzie tells her kids she’s nervous about seeing their dad, and Gannon makes it clear he doesn’t want to listen to his mom talk about how “giddy” she is about seeing her fair-weather spouse. Mack insists that Josh has been “going crazy…all alone.”
Um…sure Mack. I’m sure three weeks in a quiet house with no kids or needy wife to attend to was pure torture for the man.
After Josh and his mouth-full of chewing tobaccy hop into the car, he grunts in the general direction of Mack and the kids. Mackenzie is surprised by his lack of excitement to see his family. Instead she gets a grunt and a curse, and the kids get a head nod in their general direction. (Of course, he could have just been shaking out his neck from an old rodeo/Billy Bob’s injury, who knows?)
Josh claims that he “just got the biggest headache.”
Yes, we know. Her name is ‘Mackenzie.’
With Josh’s attitude still in the crapper, Mackenzie and the kids decide to take Josh fishing. There may be no deer to hunt in Florida, but there’s fish to catch and Mack is hoping that will satisfy Josh’s need to kill something other than Mackenzie’s excitement.
On their way to the fishing pier, Josh makes a grand gesture by patting Mackenzie on the leg, which she takes as a sign that he is finally trying.
While on their fishing outing, the McKees actually seem like one big happy, functional family for a brief moment and Josh even manages to crank out a smile or two.
Later on, Mackenzie calls her friend Cayla to tell her how wonderful life is in the Sunshine State and how Josh is a completely changed man because he touched her leg during a car ride. Cayla, however, thinks Mackenzie has spent a little too much time in the sun and needs to remember who she’s dealing with.
Cayla worries that Josh is treating this Florida visit as a “honeymoon or vacation getaway kind of thing.”
Instead of addressing the issues with Josh as Cayla suggests, Mackenzie says she’d rather not rock the boat by having those tough conversations because they’ve already “talked about it a million times.”
Meanwhile, back in Indiana, Gary and Kristina are putting together a “Beauty & the Beast” puzzle (as you do), and chatting about how mad Leah is at Amber.
Gary says between the men and, you know “prison and the CPS stuff,” Ambie didn’t devote a whole lot of her time to taking care of Leah.
Gary says he knows what it’s like to be put on the “back burner” by a parent, since his mom (the fun-loving, man-hopping Carol), basically ditched GarBear whenever a dude showed interest in playing with her funbags.
Gary then says something that makes me confused. He mentions how Amber will come over to their house just to pick up James and not to see Leah.
HOLD THE PHONE. Does that mean Gary and Kristina– in addition to raising Leah— are also babysitting Ambie’s Oopsie Baby James on the regular?!?! The one she’s so desperate to get custody of?
JESUS GOD LEAH. Gary, what ya need to do is hand Ambie an eggplant from your garden, put a bonnet on it and tell Amber that when she wants to feel maternal, to rock the baby eggplant because at least she can’t hurt its feelings.
Over in California, Cheyenne goes to lunch with her dad, Kyle, so that he can grill her about her relationship. Kyle asks Cheyenne what the plan is for her and Zach’s “commitment to each other.” Cheyenne tells her dad she and Zach talk about marriage, but she can’t keep nagging him about it without screwing up her chances of getting that $60K rock.
Kyle tells Cheyenne to “forget a ring,” which nearly causes Cheyenne to flip the flaming table.
Kyle goes on to drop a bomb on Cheyenne regarding her mother’s (his ex-wife’s) engagement ring: it wasn’t a real diamond and Cheyenne’s mom didn’t know about it until the two divorced.
Kyle assures Cheyenne the sham-gagement ring didn’t change the love he and his ex-wife had but man, we’d LOVE to hear her version of the story! In the end, Cheyenne tells her dad to stop bugging her she thinks they have to wait for Zach to propose – with a ring that she will have appraised immediately.
Later on, Cheyenne tells Zach she knows he’s “feeling the pressure” and he admits he’s not in a position to drop so much coin on a piece of jewelry. While wiping away tears, Cheyenne tells Zach she doesn’t want the two of them to give into pressure from their families, but at the same time, she hoped she’d be married when she had her second baby. Zach assures Cheyenne there will “definitely be an engagement before the baby,” but they should focus on their relationship and future costar in the meantime.
Back down in Florida, Mackenzie decides she needs to liven up her storyline a bit to sit down with Josh so they can talk about their “issues.” Josh decides this is the perfect opportunity to interject.
“Do you want me to kiss your butt, is that what you want?” he asks.
Mackenzie says she doesn’t want Josh to “kiss her butt,” she just wants “the raw real truth.” She goes on to ask if he sacrificed all that Oklahoma deer hunting and came to Florida to be with the kids, or if he also came down there for his marriage.
After laughing, chewing on pieces of the lawn and spitting, Josh tells Mackenzie he thinks it “good for us to get away” and that he loves Mackenzie and the kids and would do anything “I guess, to keep you guys or something. I don’t know.”
We’re starting to understand why Josh uses mumbling as his main form of communication.
Meanwhile in Michigan, Election Day has arrived. Cate and Tyler head to the polls with their daughters to cast their ballots. In the polling place (where MTV cameras were obviously not allowed inside) Cate lets Nova help her fill in her ballot and afterwards, they celebrate with a selfie. Once they’re back at the Octagon, Cate and Tyler talk about how exciting it was for them to vote for the first time and Tyler declares, “Thank God we don’t gotta talk about politics anymore.”
Cate says as a woman, it’s empowering to exercise her right to vote, and she explains to Nova that they voted for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, which is special because “it’s only been boys” on previous ballots.
Back in Tennessee, we head to Ryan’s house. At least, that’s what the tagline says. However, I’m almost certain we’ve somehow ended up under some sort of bridge, because we stumble upon THIS troll-like object thing.
Ok.
Before we can get to any more recapping, The Ashley must address…whatever that is in the photo above. What in the Fraggle Rock, washed-your-Barbie’s-hair-in-dish-soap HELL is going on here?!
Ryan has looked bad in the past but never has he actually looked like a freaking Muppet. His hair is like a musty Brillo Pad, his beard scraggly (except for the “Reverse Soul Patch” thing he has going on his chin, which must also be discussed.) At some point between the time we plopped our asses down to watch the previous episode and the time we dragged our corpses to watch this episode, Ryan morphed into some other type of species: part werewolf, part Muppet, all useless.
Ryan in 2021: Hold my wig…
Did Ryan get a job as a chimney sweeper in the off-season? (Hahaha, JOB. Good one, me.)
I just have so many…questions. Is his hair naturally that color, or did he dye it? Can you even DYE wool? Why the hell is his hair wool now?
Mackenzie, meanwhile, looks perfectly groomed and non-Muppety, and doesn’t appear to notice that her husband is basically a steaming pile of dusty wool in a stained T-shirt.
She informs Ryan that Larry did an interview with a magazine. Mack is worried that the interview will piss off Maci and she will keep the Edwards Crew from seeing Bentley. She says Maci is a “petty bitch” for retaliating for Larry’s actions.
Ryan shakes his head in agreement (and/or to get the active fleas off his head…I’m unsure.)
In Indiana, Amber is still upset that Leah hasn’t magically gotten over 12 years of neglect, selfishness and Amber’s f**kery in a few days. She’s eager to get her to “move past this” so she goes to have lunch with her own mom, Tonya.
Amber explains that Leah said she felt like a “third wheel” in the past when Amber was entertaining a new soulmate. Amber, to her credit, is actually being really self-aware and taking responsibility for not stopping her toxic relationships before things ended in handcuffs. (This is very un-Portwood-like.)
Amber mentions that it’s been a really long time since she’s had unsupervised visits with Leah. Also, Leah apparently hit Ambo with the “don’t call me, I’ll call you” when it comes to finding time for their next interaction. As you can guess, that did not go over well with Amber.
Tonya suggests that Amber just try to “be there for” Leah, but Ambie says she has already tried (for like a few days) to be there for Leah and now she’s saying…wait for it… “I’m DONE!”
“It’s not my problem anymore!” Amber yells.
Even Tonya– who, judging by how Ambie turned out, was probably not a stellar mother herself— is shocked by how crazy Amber sounds.
“Your child’s always going to be your problem,” Tonya tells her.
That’s it! To read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Teen Mom OG,’ click here!
(Photos: MTV)
67 Responses
Amber is a cunt.
Leah will be forever a better person because of Gary and Kristina.
I also have another question. Has Maci had some work done in her face? It really stood out to me in this weeks episode when she was talking about the shooting her mouth looks very different, like she has that Botoxed perma-grin. Her lips are shaped like she’s sort of smiling but not really
I’m not around a whole lot of kids so please correct me if I’m wrong about this, but is anyone else very disturbed about the fact that McKenzie’s daughter is entirely too old to be sucking her thumb??? Aside from Jace’s personality traits that mirror a future serial killer, I feel that this is a huge concern as this type of behavior is clearly evidence of some serious developmental issues. I 100% agree that Amber should be fired however she, like the rest of the cast, I love to hate. McKenzie on the other hand, I can’t even bring myself to watch. At least the other horrible parents (ie jenelle, amber, Ryan ) don’t have 100% custody of their kids Which means there is an element of hope for them (except Jace, I’m sorry to say but there is no hope for him), but Mackenzie has 100% custody. She is the one person who does not entertain me at all (besides Cheyenne, but that’s bc she’s just boring and normal). I just find mackenzies segments too pathetic to sit through. But seriously though, The thumb sucking????
Oh I have high school sudents in my class who suck their thumb.
Pls never stop doing your recaps! They crack me up & I refuse to watch mtv. They’re just as bad as Ryan’s parents. All of them enable him. Ryan not on drugs cared about his appearance, the clothes he wore, etc. like he was in the beginning, before the drugs. Addiction is a nasty battle to Fight it, I too battle this addiction & relapse is part of recovery. You can ask anyone who deals with it. Most people relapse at least once after getting clean. I can’t stand him or his parents for not standing up to him. Hell tell the boy to go get a hair cut at least! Lol.
Amber, oh amber, what are we going to do with you? First off, TIE YA TUBES! For the love of everything! I pity both of her kids. Leah especially. It’s sad she sees her mom for who she is at such a young age. And what about this son? I bet Andrew ends up with him. She can’t care for children from her couch. There’s no man to tell what to do or yell at. We’ve already seen what happens when she’s stressed out with a toddler. She lashes out physically & ends up In jail. Part of me feels bad for all the kids. My daughter was born the same year as all of the OG kids they had at 16, I was just 21/22, they didn’t ask to be followed by a camera & could end up with serious self esteem or just issues with themselves from being in the eye of the public. They’ll see all this crap one day & it’s just sad. But pls never stop recapping! I love the way you do it & get all the good Info. This is how I keep up. ?
I fast forward when Mackenzie is on the show. I have dubbed her “Immature Girl”. All these peeps are so boring I don’t understand why I watch it. Why doesn’t Maci clean her beautiful house? It’s huge and she should have PLENTY of room for storage. Ryan is still clearly using drugs and I don’t understand how MTV can perpetuate this and continue to support his drug habit. Larry and Jen (the worlds BIGGEST enablers) need to go too. Actually, I watch this show to read these recaps and have a belly laugh.
Where in the HELL did Immature Girl find that specimen? He’s dumber than dirt!
Havent you ever heard of “opposites attract”?
This saying I’m sure is most especially true when your a teenager. All they care about is if they guy or girl is hot or not!!!
I for sure agree about McKee. Her real life situations are too depressing to watch that they’re not even entertaining, and I can’t handle anymore of these “marital problems” between her and Josh. I don’t even watch her segments, because they’re so ridiculously predictable and BLAH.
The Rhine hair rant actually made me cry years of laughter. And hurt my abs for laughing for so long. Great choice of mine to put on makeup today for the first time in months. At least I also got the first ab workout in over a year, so there’s that.
I can’t even continue reading the whole recap, because it hurts to laugh so much. I’ll read little segments on a daily basis so I can physically keep up. The Ashley, you’re killing me!
The jokes about Ryan’s hair were the best part of the recap. And where in the world does Mackenzie get off calling Maci a b****? She’s one to talk!
From the second Ryan came on screen in this ep I have been on the edge of my seat waiting for this recap, and gurrrl, you did not disappoint!
Im so down for that tell all book. Co written by Sophia and all kids from the land…
Usually a child like Leah would grow up with major issues stemming from an absent mother. thank GOD Kristina is Leah’s real mother. She has undoubtedly saved Leah a ton of mental anguish, sadness and lack of stability. Gary and Kristina are stellar for putting up with amber. Other posters are right I am sad to say…at least jenelle lives with her kids, spends the day with them, makes their dinners, etc…
It’s so sad Leigh has the measure of her mother at her young age, most people are adults before they see their parents for who they truly are. Other posters are correct, Farrah and Janelle are terrible mothers, but compared to Amber they are promoted to a bit shitty-they at least care enough to have the children with them, or constantly shout about getting them back. Amber can’t even say hello when she picks up her other baby.
Cait and Tyler, glad they are being useful for a change.
The Macks, will be creating Reddit threads in ten years time about how they wasted their hot years on crap husbands who don’t love them, and never did.
Cheyenne, enjoy her enjoying her life and nice family. Quite miss Corey and his self obsessed need for attention.
Totally agree. Don’t want politics here. Love this site!
What about Corey’s coparent relationship with Cheyenne? For someone who didn’t find out until Ry was 6 months old that he was even the father, it shows AMAZING maturity, not everyone would have taken their responsibilities like a man and came back into the picture.
Yes, he leaves regularly but it’s to make money to take care of his kids. He video chatted with Ry EVERY DAY!! And that time Ry was in the hospital and Cheyenne didn’t let him know she explained after he got home that she had the situation such as it was under control and that she wanted him to keep his mind focused on the reason he was away and that if the situation had changed and she needed him there, she wouldn’t have hesitated to let him know.
It’s not easy having a sick child.
I think they should both be applauded not criticized for the people they are.
This comment was for @MAXIMUMWATER
Thank you for not engaging/preaching politics! Hate when I come for snark and amusement and people wanna make it political.
Anyone else feels like we are watching Ryan slowly dying?? I mean… i know he s an ass and was never there for Bentley and all that, but is this not …like …wrong for MTV filming him like that??? His snake wife obv does not care, because money… but it just feels like his kids will see that one day and will say: this was our dad shortly before he passed away, why did they not help him?
I laughed SO hard about Ryan’s hair…that was gold. This entire recap was just hilarious. I haven’t watched this show in years but I keep tabs here and it never disappoints. Good job ?
Omg me too. Could not stop laughing at those captions. Funniest recap yet!
Amber neglected Leah her whole life, when was Leah “her problem”? I really think she is a worst mother than Jenelle and Farrah and that’s a lot
She definitely is. Jenelle and Farrah are awful but they are at least present.
I really didn’t like that part. Amber was like Leah has a problem, and she’s just going to have to accept my less than half assed apology. Amber chose losers over her daughter for YEARS and now Leah’s finding her voice and speaking up about how it’s effected her, and Amber is like oh well, it’s in the past, get over it. She’s not a good mom, and Gary might want to put Leah in some therapy to cope with her trash mothers behavior. I dunno how James’ relationship is with Amber, but I’m guessing it’s probably the same if not worse, so the same goes for Andrew, get that child in some therapy to help cope with these inevitable mommy abandonment issues he’s going to have.
It’s not like it was that long ago, so it’s not even really “in the past”. She’s still choosing ANYTHING over Leah.
I wish Amber would get booted from the show. She’s clearly not a mom, and she’s clearly a domestic abuser. A man would have been let go immediately and rightly so!
Can we talk about how Rhine looks like someone beat him over the head with a bag of flour?? My God. Please stay away from drugs kids. He use to be so hot.
Also, did Mack have some work done in her face?? Like her lips are fuller and she lost weight? I can’t quite put my finger on it, but she doesn’t look like she did when she 1st started dating Rhine. It’s like she’s sucking the life out of him and putting it into herself.
I was thinking the same thing, it definitely looks like she’s had work done.
Yea, I can’t figure it out, but she definitely tweaked something on her face…I’m positive it’s her lips, but there’s way more to it, like a chin surgery or chin fillers….SOMETHING… She does look better on the outside, but her insides are still quite hideous.
Yes I agree, I think at this moment she just has Botox/fillers, and does seem to have lost a lot of weight so I’m sure that changed things. No amount of tweaking her outsides will mask her hideous behaviour.
I cant explain the lips being fuller (other than to say she may be following in the footsteps of Farrah by looking like a plastic barbie doll). But as far as her getting skinny all I can say is DRUGS, DRUGS, DRUGS!!!!
Bentley even said that they (Ry and Mack) went to their room by themselves at Jagger’s birthday party. They were either doing drugs or getting it on trying to make oopsy baby #3 OR they did one then the other!!!!
Amber has got the most audacity I have ever seen in a person. Leah is definitely going to cut her off when she’s an adult.
“Whatever oaf was patting Amber’s poonanny at the time” PURE GOLD. And Ryan’s Hair- Oh man. Muppet is right!
“What in the Fraggle Rock, washed-your-Barbie’s-hair-in-dish-soap HELL is going on here?!”
This. comment. had. me. dying!!!!!!! And sadly, I did wash my Barbie’s hair in dish soap when I was little, so I know that this is the truth!
Brilliant write up of this episode!!!
I loved that line too. I was laughing so hard!!! Oh lordy, Ryan cannot blame Maci for his hot mess look. Kudos Ashley for a great recap with humor and sarcasm.
Bravo! you have outdone yourself this week. This is my only way to forget about the pandemic, alleviate the boredom and have a really good laugh. Wipes away the tears of laughter, thank you for this. I love you Ashley.
?? ?? for the funniest recap you might’ve ever done! The captions under the pictures were brilliant! I have a visceral reaction to seeing Fraggle Ryan. It legit disturbs me. It’s so sad to start to see the negative impacts some of these degenerate people are having on their children. It broke my heart seeing Amber basically say Leah wasn’t her problem and it hurts my heart to think of Leah having to watch that scene. Just when you think she can’t get any lower….pure piece of ?. It’s a dang shame MTV has continued to employ her.
Maybe ryan is trying to compete w/ lurch
For the who can go the longest w/o taking a shower, getting your hair cut, or working (haha)
Miss Ashley, YOU ARE SO FUNNY!!
My fav voting orange nope red hahahah :0
It kills me to see Mackenzie deal with Josh. He’s such a loser, just cut the cord already and have a co-parenting relationship (does Josh even parent? Or does he just “babysit?”).
I know voter turnout is terrible in the States (and even in Canada where I live), but it still shocks me when I hear of grown adults who never voted. My parents always voted and it was always a discussion in my house so I started voting as soon as I could. It didn’t really surprise me to learn that Cate and Tyler never voted, but Kim?? That’s just crazy to me.
I don’t think there’s anything to say about Ryan that hasn’t already been said, but my lord he does not look well! Does he ever get out of that chair? He looks like he ages approximately 15 years with each episode. I’m sure Mackenzie is happy this is the man she decided to marry in a parking lot while he was high on heroin. A real winner.
The red hair ginger succubus is draining my boy Ryan lifeforce right in front of our eyes. Fear the ginger!
stay lit
I think he should fear the blonde! Succi-Mack!
THIS!?
Maybe Gary’s house is the pickup/drop off location for James? It would make sense because of the no contact order between Amber and Andrew, and James would get to see his sister more.
Yeah, but how long does it take her to roll off the couch/bed and drive to get him? I guarantee they keep that baby longer than they’re supposed to because she can’t be bothered.
The funny thing is that Amber tried to take Gary down after he said that him and Kristina were taking a step back from their relationship with her. While I don’t doubt what she said was true, it obviously didn’t get the response Ambie wanted. And she ended up losing her babysitters.
Speaking of which, I’m guessing either Gary was trying to make Amber look good when he said she brought James for visits with Leah or eventually Amber got bored or distracted and just started leaving James with them.
Your description of Ryan and his new look is GOLD.
I burst out laughing like 4 times. This recap was gold.
Ryan seriously looks like he’s in hospice. Like, I audibly gasped when I saw him on screen.
I burst out laughing (scared my dogs, lol!) with April’s comment…can’t take my smokes in ???
omg… i was laughing sooo hard ,, lol lol about your comments about ryan,,,, ” my first comment , was ,, Is he dead ” ?? cuz he looks dead… that my folks.. is the heroin hair and no sunlight for months…. Like for Real,, look at him, he is high as a kite,,,, and he has been hiding his wig under his hat for years,, it was like that when he first went to jail…. look up all his mugshots,, you ‘ll see,, and remember,, oh yeah… but its worse now,, cuz the heroin leaves your roots and fingernails and toenails and skin,,, its like embalming fluid in your body,,,,
Does Ryan even know how to Walk ???? What the hell does he do everyday of his life ??? someone tell me,, and his own frckn stupid wife,, first marries him high,, then marries him again, drunk off his ass,, he probably puked all over her.. lol lol lol
how do you like it sooo far mackenzie,, is he really bringing in that money to you ?? what for the 2 minutes he is awake to be on camera,,, she probably has to go wake him up from his drug den,, and prop him up some where,,,, lol lol lol,,, well she got what she deserved and wanted,,, so she should be sooo happy,, getting married for the 2nd time,, on tv, while her soon to be husband marries you in a parking lot,, but driving while asleep on heroin,,,, Nice being only 21 and getting married for the 2nd time to a complete loser… lol lol ,,,,, and larry is just a pisser now,, everyone is in complete denial about ryan, including himself.. i doubt he will live to be 40,, its soo sad, he has never cared about anything,, and its really sad, he had everything handed to him… HE NEVER HAD A JOB,, HE NEVER WAS A PARENT WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN,, BUT FOR SOME REASON,, HE HAD A ROOF OVER HIS HEAD, AND SPENT $10,000 A WEEK ON HEROIN.. AND BACK TO DOING IT AGAIN,, SOOO SAD,,,, I FEEL SOOOO SORRY FOR BENTLEY,,,, AND HE IS THE ONLY AND ACTUALLY MACI,, CUZ HE DID IT TO HER TOO..
YEAH, JUST LOOK AT HIM, AND THINK EMBALMING FLUID,, CUZ THAT IS WHAT IS DOES TO YOU …
OMG, Rhine full-on looks like my Great Aunt Marian, beard and all! That is NOT how a sober, working husband and father of three presents himself to the world! Jen and Larry, tell me again how Rhine is sober and working a program! The real shocker is Mack let him film like that. Yikes. Things really are that bad.
Gary, respect Leah’s wishes to not have to deal with/ see Amber. She’s just about to the age that she doesn’t have to. Amber has been disappointing Leah for 12 years. Enough. Amber adds nothing good to Leah’s life. I would say quit babysitting James so Amber doesn’t come over for that, but after Leah, James is the one who needs all the love and attention he can get! He’s not going to get anything good from his bio-mom!
The Ashley long tangent on Ryan hair was impeccable, I actually cackled like Barb.
You can’t make this stuff up! This is pure gold writing ashley!
And so it begins. The revolt of the 16&P babies is finally upon us! Leah is a good candidate to lead the charge because she is level headed, intelligent and has a stable home with Gary nd Kristina, so I think her tell-all will be a great, believable read. I won’t be anything crazy explosive like Sophia and Jace’s will be, but it she be a pretty good read wither way. You know Leah has watched every single minute of Amber’s segments through the years and has seen all the b.s. she puts up with when it comes to men at the expense of taking time away from her, now she’s putting Amber on her schedule and I think i’s about time. (Oh man I can’t wait for Sophia’s tell-all!)
The only thing I could think of when I first saw the vagrant that used to be Rhine was that I could not wait for The Ashley to review this. What happened to him?!? Is he even ok!?! Should we send help?!? I could not believe Mac let him appear on camera like that, I figured that after she wakes him up from is third nap of the day she at least combs his hair after she changes his diaper. That doesn’t even look like real hair! Jesus God Leah!
If anyone ever questioned Mack’s love for Rhine, just look at the way she let her husband get on national TV looking like he got into a fight with the kids’ baby powder, and lost. No loving spouse would EVER let their significant other get on camera lookin like that.
So true! My ex was an addict, but I made him pull his sh!t together and put on a good face for friends and family…and we weren’t even on TV. Mack is done with him, she just isn’t ready to admit it yet.
I don’t agree with Cate and Tyler’s political views but I gotta give them props for standing for something.
Although, considering the sex offender thing I have to wonder…WHY??!!!
WTF is going on with Ryan’s head?
I hope it was a wig they made him wear for ratings!! His hair didn’t look that long and shabby in the episode the week before
“We could’ve sworn that Rosie O’Donnell didn’t like Donald Trump.” I almost peed my pants ??
The Ashley’s snark game was on fire for this recap. So many good captions but IMO the Rosie O’Donnell comment was the best of the bunch!
Ugh Ryan. Your looks were literally the only thing you had going for you man.
Rhine actually makes Josh seem like a wonderful father and husband. And Josh is a pretty low bar. Rhine used to be really cute way back in the day – stay away from the opioids boys and girls or that is the outcome.
Where the wild things are and Fraggle Rock killed me ??? love it!
I agree lol. All’s Josh had to do effort wise was touch McKenzies leg, their marriage must be back on track ??
The whole “Rhine” segments are pure gold! I haven’t laughed out loud at a recap like I just did now in years! Thank you The Ashley again for taking one for the team, and watching this boring ass show so we don’t have to!