The fancy couches are set up, Dr. Drew has his blazer-and-tee combo on (and his cards full of stale ass questions in-hand), and the girls are all gussied up like it’s prom night at the local continuation high school, so we know what that means…
It’s Teen Mom Reunion time!
Normally, The Ashley doesn’t recap Reunions (because the only thing worse than watching this melatonin-gummy-of-a-reality show is rewatching it via Reunion video clips). However, since a few of the cast members come close to trying to rip each other’s eyes at, she figured what the hell?
We kick things off with Dr. Drew welcoming us back to yet another Reunion show. A decade ago, I’ll bet Dr. Drew— like all of us— thought this show would be nothing more than an embarrassing blip on the radar by now but…here we are.
They’re still trying to make Nessa happen, unfortunately, so we will be forced to listen to her mispronounce words and read the teleprompter more robotically than Mackenzie McKee does her voiceovers. Sigh.
Nessa explains that, because of that ding-dang COVID, all of the moms (plus whatever it is we want to call Amber) are coming to us from their home states. (Think of the amount of money MTV saved not having to pay a moving company to move Ambie’s couch all the way to New York for the Reunion!)
They introduce the girls and they all do their own weird version of jazz hands. Then, Drew forces us to rewatch clips of all the stuff that has happened this season. (To sum it up for you: Maci bitched about Ryan, Mackenzie tried to get Josh to like her, Cheyenne pressured Zach into marrying her, Catelynn peed into Tupperware, and Amber got bitch-slapped by reality when her daughter Leah told her she was a crappy mom.)
They then talk about how depressing it was that they couldn’t meet up for their annual ‘OG’ vacation, due to COVID. (Mackenzie just sits there awkwardly during this conversation, since she’s never invited on the Moms’ MTV-funded booze cruise vacations.) The girls say they had planned to drive somewhere in the United States, or go to Greece.
Finally, Catelynn announces (rather anti-climatically) that she and Tyler are having “their final child.” Everyone congratulates her and they deliver a gift box with pink balloons to Cate, since she’s having yet another girl. (Somewhere off-camera Tyler is weeping into a pile of unused blue balloons and shouting “WHYYYY!” at the heavens.)
Then, we jump into Amber’s portion of the Reunion. She, of course, tells us how hard life is for her, but how she’s growing “every single day, hour and minute.” (Apparently we’re counting fingernails and nose hairs here?)
Amber says she’s been trying to get a hold of Leah for a while, but she basically blames that on Gary and Kristina (instead of the fact that Leah is obviously hitting “deny call” every time she sees Mommy Dearest’s name come up on her phone.)
Then, Amber says the most “Amber” thing that could come out of her disrespectful trap.
“People need to know their place when it comes to my children!”
Amber says she’s getting “pushed out” from Leah’s life, but she’s trying to let Leah know she’s there.
What Amber’s not trying to do is keep her damn eyes open. I’m not sure if a production assistant unsuccessfully tried to wake her up from her couch snooze, or if Amber refuses to open her eyes on-camera until Dr. Drew has agreed to tar-and-feather Kristina and Gary on-camera or what. But she’s literally delivering her “I’m done!” and “I’m a good mom” speeches concurrently with her eyes totally closed.
This may be the most tasks Amber has ever performed at the same time. Ever.
Instead of inquiring as to why Amber needs toothpicks to hold her eyes open, Dr. Drew (the addiction specialist) pretends he doesn’t see it.
Instead, he coddles her and assures her that he and Nessa have a ton of affection for her. Amber says she wishes people could see her for who she really is.
Um…they do, Amber. That’s why no one wants to be around you…
She also says she wants people to have some compassion for her because, today, she’s decided to play up her stance as a “former addict.”
Nessa tries to lighten the mood by asking what the current status of Ambie’s relationship with her mail-order soulmate, Dimitri is. Amber confirms that they are still “dating,” even though she hasn’t seen him in a year.
Nessa next calls in Gary. (We can assume he’s been busy suiting up in body armor off-stage, preparing to face Ambie.)
Gary sits down next to Amber. It couldn’t be more awkward. (I mean, unless Amber was wearing her slutty paratrooper costume, I guess…)
Dr. Drew reminds them that, at one point this season, Gary wanted Amber to come live in his cornfield in a trailer.
Amber looks like she can’t wait to verbally thrash Gary. (In fact, she even slightly opens her eyes, so we know she’s ready to pounce!)
Amber says she feels like Gary and Kristina could “help a bit more.”
Gary says he’s not really into sending Leah to therapy because she “has a lot of feelings” toward Amber and he’s not sure how to navigate them.
(Translation: Leah is going to talk major crap on Amber in therapy, and Amber’s going to freak the hell out on Gary for it.)
Gary is really going for it here! He next brings up the fact that Leah sees all of Amber’s Instagram rant videos (including, we can assume, the ones where Ambie trashed Gary and Kristina to millions of people). He says Amber’s tendency to get online and scream at people, cuss them out and/or threaten to karate-kick them is embarrassing Leah.
Of course, Dr. Drew sides with Amber. But this time, Gary isn’t letting the Blazered One knock him down. He tells Drew that Amber might be correct about Leah needing therapy, but because Amber has been the pus-filled cyst in Leah’s life for more than a decade now, he’s going to be the one to make the decisions for her, thanks.
Amber, forever the great deflector, then randomly turns the segment into a PSA for those struggling with their mental health. She launches into a speech about how you shouldn’t let “people like this put your head down.”
Um…Amber, you’re the one who’s put “your head down” (on the couch/bed/the lap of some random dude) for over 10 years instead of bonding with your daughter. But, you know, go ahead and blame the mental health stuff.
Gary isn’t falling for her speech. He’s basically trying to keep himself from laughing as Amber spouts off about not letting “negativity” into your life.
Nessa asks Gary why Kristina hasn’t been dragged out to join this outhouse-of-a-conversation. He says that he and Kristina had done a lot for Amber and tried to support her…until she jumped on Instagram Live and trashed the Jesus God Leah out of Kristina. So now Kristina wants no part of Amber’s shenanigans.
He also says that he didn’t appreciate Ambie screeching to her Instagram followers that he tried to get up on her no-nos and didn’t want Kristina to find out. Gary denies that anything inappropriate happened, and, instead, says that, basically, Amber thinks everyone wants her if they are kind to her.
MTV then throws The Ashley a bone (!) and shows two screenshots of articles she wrote about the Ambie’s accusations against Gary and Kristina. (They even left The Ashley’s name in the byline, so we’re making progress here!)
Gary says that he never tried to put the moves on Amber, and that his “Dad Bod” does not thirst for Amber anymore. (It’s not like he comes over to stare at her butt…since it’s always attached to some type of Lazy Boy brand furniture!)
Gary insists that, should he ever want to cheat on Kristina, it would not be with Amber.
Gary insists that his loins no longer quiver for Amber’s sweet, sweet love.
Dr. Drew is trying to keep all this crap straight.
“And Amber, you thought he was trying to seduce you?” Drew asks.
Amber clarifies that she didn’t think it was seduction; however, she says that Gary patting her forehead and shoulder blade seemed “a bit much” for someone who is married.
Dr. Drew accuses Amber of “creating a s**tstorm,” and that sets Ambie OFF! She looks like she wants to rip Drew’s blazer off and choke him with it.
“You weren’t there!” she cries. “That’s a bulls**t thing to say to me!”
Gary keeps chuckling and it’s pissing Amber off. She gets her hand in his face and tells him to stop laughing and “be a bit mature.”
THAT’S DOWNRIGHT RICH, AMBER! (Who knew she did comedy?!)
Dr. Drew tries to prevent anyone from getting a TV thrown at them and moves the conversation forward to how much Amber’s “changed” over the years (?)
They show some clips of Gary basically begging Leah to pretend to like Amber. Afterward, Amber thanks Gary for being nice but says Kristina didn’t try hard enough to lie to Leah about how good of a mom Amber is.
It’s about time for Amber to throw down her trademark “I’M DONE!” She thanks Gary for all he’s done for her (you know, everything) and says that he’s fine but that pesky Kristina is horrible and that she’s standing in the way of Amber’s relationship with Leah.
She storms out, leaving everyone shaking their heads as per usual.
Up next in the virtual hot-seat is Cheyenne, who lets viewers know she’s currently sweating and not giving off a pregnancy glow, despite what they may assume.
I think that’s nice…
In the hope of making Cheyenne sweat just a little more, Dr. Drew immediately begins asking about Chey’s pregnancy and how she claimed she’d do things differently this time around, but hasn’t really kept her word.
Cheyenne assures Dr. Drew and Nessa that she and Zach “are getting married,” and asks that they just give her a “couple of months.” (Evidently she had already helped Zach design her and Ryder’s rings at this point… )
Nessa goes on to commend Cheyenne for her support this season of the Black Lives Matter movement and Cheyenne explains why it’s important for her to use her platform to make a difference. Dr. Drew then rushes the conversation along and welcomes Zach to join the reunion chat, just so he can ask the couple about something he believes is more important than the social and racial justice conversation that’s happening.
After a quick recap of Cheyenne’s panic/pregnancy/party-filled season, we cut back to the couple and Zach tells the hosts how excited he is to become a father. When asked if they have experienced any issues since moving in together, Zach says no, but Cheyenne jumps in to say there have been issues, mostly with Zach’s need to keep things clean and orderly around the house.
Cleanliness aside, Cheyenne says she knew things would be better for her and Zach this time around because they had always been friends and even when they dated back when they were 16, she says they waited 10 years before they ever had sex with each other.
Cheyenne and Zach go on to explain that their relationship was “not sexual” back when Zach stepped in to be there for Cheyenne during and after her pregnancy with Ryder, but rather Zach was “being there from the standpoint of a friend.”
Next up, Cheyenne is joined by her first baby daddy, Cory – someone who knows absolutely nothing about relationships that aren’t sexual. Cory tells Dr. Drew and Nessa things between him and Cheyenne are good and they are continuing to co-parent well together, to which the hosts remind Cory that he was co-parenting from afar for most of the season due to his participation on The Challenge.
Cory says he knows he’s “blessed” to be able to compete on the show, which he refers to as his “job,” but if it ever came down to it, he would pick his family over doing another season. When asked why she didn’t tell Cory about her relationship with Zach while he was away at ‘The Challenge’ house, Cheyenne kind of avoids the question, but insists it wasn’t a secret she was keeping from Cory.
Cory says he believes Cheyenne and Zach make a good couple and for the record, he wants everyone to know he predicted Cheyenne would get knocked up while he was gone.
Cory also announces his plans to eventually “have a whole team” of kids himself, as he and his girlfriend Taylor want to keep on popping out some more reality stars.
That’s all for Part 1. The Ashley will recap Maci’s whole segment, as well as Catelynn and Mackenzie’s segments in Part 2! Stay tuned!
To read The Ashley’s previous ‘Teen Mom OG’ recap, click here!
(Photos: MTV)
38 Responses
What are Dr. Drew’s creditentials.
Does he have an online. Degree?
Nothing I have heard from his mouth is professional, insightful, or real.
He just keeps slobbering all over the idiots to keep his paycheck.
What a grifter!
Dr. Drew is actually (shockingly) an actual MD, undergrad at Amherst and MD from USC.
Amber just because you spit out two babies does not make you a Mommy! Cory please for the love of God put that little ponytail that’s hanging in your eye back with the rest of your hair.
Show has not changed. Just more Baby Daddies, worthless moms who are now old hags, more women enablers, even the grandmas (looking at you Jen), children who have personality disorders (except for Carly) and Dr. Through Drew grasping at straws to keep a paycheck. Most everyone is a loser (looking at Cate and Ty).
There’s only so long you can look at a multiple car wreck. Then you become numb.
Thanks for the nightmares.
Amber should date Ronnie from Jersey Shore. Just sayin’
Leah is more mature than Amber. And it pisses me off how she stirs with pot with Gary and Kristina. Such a low life.
Cheyenne is such a hypocrite. Amazing how mtv fire taylor for comments but cheyennes racist comments about killing white children is ok. Shes a nasty piece of trash, she can pretend to be nice but shes a troll. Go back you your bridge troll, go back to your bridge. If a white memeber of the show said what she said about black/asian kids there would be hell to pay.
Ya all Jen said Taylor was jealous of Ryan!! That is incredible lol
I think Dr. Drew should be forced to live with Amber and Ryan for one week before each reunion. Perhaps then he would stop coddling them both so much. Helen Keller can see what pieces of garbage these two are and this so called doctor can’t?
Hahahahahaha good one!
They could’ve left out part 2. I think they left part 1 on a cliff hanger and waited till the end of part 2 to bring out Gary and Kristina, because they knew no one would watch the entire part 2 without those “enticements”. McKee’s segments all season were TRASH (She seriously needs to go. All she does is whine about her marriage, and then get pissed when people call Josh out for being disconnected. She constantly complains, complains, and complains. She was a horrible replacement for BRISTOL PALIN of all people. Bristol’s life was more entertaining than the crap McKee’s trying to force feed us.), Cheyenne’s segments weren’t trash, but they weren’t the best, they should’ve put her on part 2, and Catelynn and Tyler are boring as well.
The reunion was only entertaining because of McKinney’s v. Edwards and Amber making an ass out of herself, and not realizing she was making Kristina look even better. I didn’t like how Drew was coming at Gary and victimizing Amber, and when Jen said that Taylor was jealous of Rhine, right there let us all know how nuts that family really is. Jealous of what?? Being a junkie?! Having a manipulative opprotunist for a wife?? I wish she would have elaborated on that, but lets be real, she probably couldn’t because Rhine has nothing anyone would be jealous of.
What if they ditched the moms and followed the kids?! Maybe they can actually prevent teen pregnancies showing what these kids have to deal with day to day. From delusional mom’s(Hi Amber & Farrah!), Image controlling mom’s (what’s up Maci & Kail!), uneducated parents & grandparents! You can’t tell me these kids aren’t hurting in some way. MTV please just stop. instead of paying for another season wrap it up and offer these kids some therapy, not with Dr.Drew.
Just watched part 2:
Amber- antagonistic and storms off stage. Gary, Gotta love him.
Cate: Looks terrible, what’s with those vampire nails?
Tyler: self entitled. At least this time he didn’t call out Carly’s adoptive parents.
Cheyenne- FAKE, FAKE, FAKE! I can’t stand that stupid ass giggle after everything she says.
Maci: Antagonistic Taylor (well deserved) fighting with antagonistic Larry. Ends with them storming off stage. Jen needs to soften her eye liner.
Mackenzie: Really tried to get into her story line but Josh was also antagonistic. I felt bad for that sorry apoplgy interview they made her do and dealing with Josh onstage was horrific.
Ryan: Can’t be bothered to show up. Mack is a bitch.
Kristina : Is a saint.
The reunion was a shit show, as always.
Amber nodding out and MTV let that happen. Like watching Ryan drive high out of his mind to his parking lot wedding. I know she’s a grown ass adult but damn, her poor kid is going to see that.
Each and every one of them except Gary and his wife are ridiculous!!!! Money has ruined them, their not in the real world!!! I have No Words for poor Ryans parents, he is a total Loser and thwy keep sticking up for him, just stop, be quiet and go away. Ryan and Amber are total Losers, Embarrassing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m not a lawyer but I still think if Ryan got into a accident that day he was higher than a fcking kite, MTV and Morgan Freeman, would have been partially responsible. Driving high on heroin and xanax is just as dangerous as driving after drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels. I will never forget that terrifying scene.
Agreed, MTV should have fired them the moment they saw that footage, even if only to protect themselves legally. I remember watching that scene for the first time, and I could not take my eyes off the other cars in the background. All those people driving along to work or school or the grocery store with no idea how close they were to a horrible situation, through no fault of their own. And Mack’s first priority was to take down the cameras, not get the car pulled over to protect the people around them. She fully exposed herself as unethical, deceptive, and petty (!) on a level most of us can’t even comprehend.
Dr. Drew is not there to be a doctor. He is not there in an addiction specialist capacity. He is there as a host of a tv show. Ergo, you will NEVER hear him ask or call out the addicts on this show. They are not in treatment. They are not under his care and legally he could lose his licence or be sued by one of them easily if he did.
Honestly, you could just swap him out with anyone to do the damn thing. It wouldn’t really matter. He is at best a completely out of touch old white guy who loves to stir the pot.
Agree with mostly everything you said. But it’s not that he could lose his license. Drew isn’t a psychologist or psycatristist. He’s an internist. So he’s really out of his element often and misses so much of the true dynamics.
But why bring ” white old ” guy in. Race and age have nothing to do with this.
Amber, if you’re actually following your treatment plan, you’d know that there is no such thing as a “former” drug addict. It’s “recovering” addict. Shocked Dr. Drew didn’t say a damn word to her. She was high as shit. I’m guessing too many opiates because that’s what my idiot ass used to act like when I was using. She’s gonna up dead.
That’s one of the (many) things that get me about ‘Dr’ Drew – if he isn’t there in his clinical capacity, then why does he use his title? He’s clearly setting himself up as someone who’s coming from a medical standpoint by doing so, and then goes to great pains to make clear he’s not there in any clinical capacity? So what’s the point of him?? The man’s an embarrassment to his profession.
“Lucky I ain’t got that problem” under Rhine’s photo with his geeked out bug eyes.
Hahahaha, can’t stop laughing at that one, The Ashley!
I wonder what would’ve happened with all of the girls if it weren’t for being on the show to begin with. Having no financial worries at all has an enormous impact on a person’s ambitions and achievements. Especially at their ages. Having a sense of such entitlement (Hello Amber) without coming from money & power or earning it all respectfully can be very damning. This show had barely enough juice to get thru this season …. most of them r about to be thrown a huuuuge awakening
I’ve always thought about that when watchhing the show.
Back in the first few seasons, Catelynn/Tyler had NO ambition and drive. They just about got through high school, didn’t go to college like they planned, and didn’t have jobs when the show came back on after a few years.
Amber is exactly the same, no ambition and probs would be a full on drug addict still.
Before money took over, Maci was a motivated person. She got a degree and was working part time jobs at the same time, and when the show came back on she had a job.
Even Farrah had SOME work ethic to start with. She went to culinary school, also had a part time job for a long time.. But then money came along and she turned super weird.
Yes! I’m rewatching old seasons and it’s so totally different. It’s interesting to take a trip down memory lane where Cate and Tyler begin to plan for their future. It’s crazy to think of the tm crew to date and to see how too few of them establish careers outside of being influencers or make shift house flippers (while owing nearly 900k in taxes).
Was this show really a blessing or will it be a burden for most after teen mom is over. Even with her current popularity, I can’t even envision Chelsea maintaining this lifestyle down the road.
Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems so surreal after those first few seasons.
Tyler wanted to join the military at one point but cate kicked off about being left behind, then they wanted tk be support workers, then they wanted to be adoption councillors..
Then when the show came back a few years later their story line was STILL oh I think I’m going to enroll in college soon.
What on earth were they doing in that time?
Chelsea I imagine will be fairly okay. They might not be able to conetely maintain their lifestyle but if Cole goes out to work and she still has a few influencer bits, she would probably still be comfortable.
I’ve often thought the same thing – where would they all be without the show and the money they’ve made from it?
Maci wouldn’t have taken 6 years to get an associates degree, and would probably actually have a bachelors degree by now. Either way, she’d be working and be pretty normal. Ryan probably wouldn’t have had the cash for his smack and would probably have a normal job. I don’t think Mackenzie would have come along if he wasn’t on TV.
Amber would be in jail for something. I really just don’t think anything would be any different for her, other than that she likely wouldn’t have James (but possibly another kid/kids), and she wouldn’t own a home. She’d be living in the same type of apartments she was living in when the show started, still using drugs, still with anger management issues, still mentally ill. Gary would still be Gary, taking care of Leah, and working. He seems to be the least changed by TM “fame”.
Tyler and Caitlynn may have actually made something of themselves. Ty may have gone into the Air Force or been a paramedic like he originally planned. I don’t think Cait would have had the drive to get her degree to be a social worker, since most social workers have master’s degrees, but she would probably have a job of some sort. They’d definitely have a much better relationship with Brandon and Theresa away from the public eye. If Tyler joined the AF, I don’t think he would still be with Cait.
Leah may have actually finished nursing school. I’m guessing there would be no Jeremy, since he chased her down on social media after seeing her on TV. No Jeremy = no Addie, so no need for painkillers after her botched epidural, so no heroin.
Jenelle would be in jail or dead from an OD or from domestic violence. Jace would still be with Babs, there would be no David (and no Ensley), because again, David had no reason to chase Jenelle if she’s not on TV and making all that sweet MTV cash to support his worthlessness. There would be no Kaiser, because Nathan pursued her due to her “celebrity” status, also.
Farrah may have stuck with her original plan to open a restaurant. She had drive and seemed to do well enough in school (which is shocking, considering her absolute butchery of the English language). Or maybe she’d just be a porn star that no one knew.
Chelsea would probably be the exact same, only she and Cole wouldn’t have had the cash to build that giant house. Either way, they’d still be married and raising their brood, just in a smaller house. Adam would have probably totally ducked out of Aubree’s life when she was little, if MTV wasn’t hanging around to throw him a bunch of money to entice him to stay in the picture.
I thibk you’re right with the difference between Ryan and Amber.
Amber was using drugs before the show and also when the show was very new and not paying as well.
Where as Ryan seemed to fall into it after quite a few years, and then obviously having so much disposable income made it worse.
So without the show, Ryan may not have ever turned out this way
Is there ANYONE that likes Dr Drew? He is insufferable.
I was watching an old reunion and someone said something about relapsing and she went “Dr Drew you know me you ALWAYS call me out when I’m high” which he agreed and said “I can confirm she is not high I can always tell”.
Yeah, seems like it.
Also, “all of the moms (plus whatever it is we want to call Amber)” killed me
Watching Amber spiral has been fun, now bring on the crash & burn, I’m getting bored.
I have to wonder if ,when Dr Drew asked Amber if she was okay, if he was trying to dance around the fact that he thought she was high?! Him, being an addiction specialist, should know, when your dealing with an addict, you gotta call them right out on their BS! Maybe he was scared of the wrath of the machete wielding psychopath?! Who knows but it was painfully obvious that she’s about as sober as she is a damn good mom! Both are jokes at this point! Go somewhere else with your BS, Amber! This is why your daughter wants zero to do with you!!!
I swear they coddle her so that she doesn’t storm off stage, and then she storms off stage anyways, so it’s like JUST ASK HER THE TOUGH QUESTIONS. What’s she gonna do? Quit the show? I think not. I remember they did the same thing with Jenelle so she wouldn’t throw a hissy fit and leave. You remember how she reacted when Nessa finally asked her a tough question about Colin. Jenelle and Amber can’t handle the heat, so they get out of the kitchen. It’s annoying and ridiculous what they let these girls get away with.
I’m so excited that The Ashley showed up on the reunion! Glad to hear Amber was really Ambering it up, but it’s a shame that Amber’s Black Tears™️ didn’t make an appearance. Luckily, she played her classic hits “I’m mentally ill and therefore not responsible for my own behavior,” “I’m done,” and “I’m a damn good mom,” though!
I consider Kristina a saint at this point. Thank goodness Leah has her in her life.
Thank you, The Ashley, for watching so we don’t have to! Your sacrifice is truly appreciated!
Can I be honest with you all, I love women, I mean, really love women. 99 times out of 100 when I see a braless tittie I’m all about it. It makes me happy, real happy. But a braless Amber was unwatchable, Boner killing, nightmare inducing, sadness.
stay lit
The best thing that could happen for Amber would be a real out in the real world J-O-B.
Maybe start in a furniture store, where she would be an expert…
Seriously, she is so far out from reality and fresh air. She needs to get back out into the real world with real people. She might make some real friends, and working might make her feel better about herself instead of just sitting inside spiraling and yelling at internet trolls.
As for this show, honestly I’d miss it if it were gone because I’d miss snarking on it with all of you. But we all know that as these kids get older, it’s a bad idea.
MTV should start over with a new group of girls with INTERESTING stories, and maybe some different parameters.
Not a furniture store! ???
OMG.
Fake dr. Drew. Needs to stop !!!!!
I’m watching part 2, and he’s not qualified to treat my stuffed toys. ??????
?❤️
Maybe this is why they kept Amber– so they can bitch slap her into reality for the next few years.
I’ve always liked Leah Leanne and thank god she has a shot at a normal life. I do think she needs someone outside the family to talk to, though.