Stick your kid in another room (à la Sean and Jade) and grab some croissants to snack on – it’s time for Teen Mom 2.
In true ‘Teen Mom 2’ fashion, someone moves into a new house this episode, someone gets a brand new butt (among other things), pills go missing, one too many flashback scenes are used as filler and someone calls 911. Throw in an arrest, an unplanned pregnancy and a court hearing and we have the makings for a solid round of ‘Teen Mom’ bingo!
(BTW… Kail isn’t mentioned in this recap because she wasn’t featured in this particular episode, unlike the words “surgery” and “prescription,” which were said a minimum of 926 times, respectively.)
This episode kicks off in Miami where Jade is preparing for her upcoming butt suck/ nip/tuck, courtesy of Dr. Not-Miami. While Jade is maxin’ and relaxin’ in her Miami rental, her mom Christy – who for some reason has been put in charge of Jade’s post-surgery care and prescription filling – walks in to talk about the operation. Christy tells Jade not to wake her up the morning of her slice and dice until they’re getting ready to walk out the door because she’s used to sleeping until noonish and needs every minute of beauty rest that she can get.
Jade tells her mom she’s more nervous about going under the knife than Sean whenever someone asks how he plans to make a living “doing the music,” so naturally, Christy insists on making things worse by convincing Jade that the pain medicine the doctor plans to give her won’t be strong enough to alleviate her pain after surgery. After her Mom of the Year-worthy pep talk, Christy assures Jade that she’ll be there to help Jade out so she can “recover in peace.”
On the morning of her surgery, Jade tells Christy she spoke to her doctor and he’s agreed to sign off on a prescription for 30 Percocet. Despite not being a morning person, this news sure does manage to perk Christy up, though we’re sure she’s just REALLY excited that Jade won’t have to suffer in pain after she’s hacked open by her surgeon.
Next we head to California. With an engagement party, wedding and (another) court date coming up, Ashley isn’t thrilled about quadruple-browed Bar still rocking his ankle monitor and she’s even less thrilled that Bar continues to be completely unbothered by this and everything else.
Ashley reminds Bar that they – aka SHE – still has to order invitations and schedule a cake tasting. Ashley also needs to find a wedding dress and she needs Bar to figure out what he’s going to wear to their celebration, other than his ankle monitor.
Later on, Bar meets up with his friend Kennard, who wants to know how Bar’s “GEDs” are going, because evidently Bar acquired more than one Good Enough Degree. Bar tells Kennard he did the damn thing and is practically Mensa-adjacent at this point.
They go on to talk about Bar and Ashley’s engagement party and Kennard agrees that despite Ashley and Bar being worried that their families will break out brawling among the good booze, the couple shouldn’t let that stop them from celebrating and more importantly, collecting some free gifts.
Down in the West Virginia hollers, Leah is going on about some sort of “will chair” and much to our surprise, she’s NOT talking about the kind of chair The Ashley sits in when finding the will to get through these episodes. Instead, Leah is talking about a new WHEELchair for Ali, as she and Corey agree that Ali has out grown her old one. Corey tells Leah that insurance is covering the cost of Ali’s swanky new ride, which has a sticker price of about $50,000.
“I mean, it’s like a Cadillac,” Corey says of the new chair. “I mean, that’s big money.”
Leah says Ali’s will wheelchair is a necessity, not a luxury. (Basically the opposite of how she felt about Corey’s new truck back in the day.)
Back at her house, Leah pulls Ali away from the other girlseses to talk about the new wheelchair. Leah attempts to have a deep conversation with Ali about what her wheelchair means to her, but gets shut down when Ali tells her it means she gets to be taller than Aleeah.
Tapping into her “Stand in My Power” days, Leah proceeds to ask Ali how her wheelchair is liberating… and then answers for Ali when she doesn’t get the response she’s looking for.
Later on, Ali shows off her new wheelchair in a race against her mom and Aleeah, but not before Corey again compares her new wheels to a Cadillac. (Is he pushing for a hookup on an Escalade or something?)
When we check in with Briana, she and “Shirley” are still in Miami, ready to provide moral support to Jade after surgery, although we all know Briana really took this trip just to get out of filming with Javi II.
While lounging and cramming croissants into their pie holes, Briana tells “Shirley” she hopes Jade’s recovery goes well, because “lipo is invasive as f**k,” and “Shirley” adds that Jade is having her “legs, arms, everything” done. They both think Jade is in for a rude awakening once she gets out of surgery and realizes she can’t immediately hit the beach and show off her new bod.
Once both Jade and her surgery are wrapped up, Christy reports back to the facility to begin her motherly duties. Jade is coming down from her sweet, sweet anesthesia high, and it’s a lot to take in – especially for Christy.
Before a mummified Jade makes her way down to the car, her dad Corey (not the mumbling one that lives in the holler) turns the back of a van into a makeshift teen-mom transporter by inflating a mattress that he and Christy undoubtedly slept on a few hundred times prior to this moment. Meanwhile, Christy gets some instructions from Jade’s nurses regarding her recovery.
As the nurses roll Jade’s barely coherent self to the van, Christy attempts to comforts Jade, first by shoving a puke bucket in her face and then by declaring in the parking garage, “Jade, your boobs are huge.” Christy, Corey and some likely very concerned nurses go on to shovel Jade’s freshly hacked-up body into the back of the van, onto Christy and Corey’s former love pad the air mattress.
You seriously can’t make this crap up!
Jade tells Christy she’s in excruciating pain and asks about her pain medicine. Christy tells Jade none of the pharmacies around them had Percocet because of “all of the plastic surgeons,” so they will drop Jade off with Sean and then head back out to get their hands on her pills. Jade tells Christy she can’t be in as much pain as she’s currently in for another hour, to which Christy says she won’t make Jade wait an hour and will bring her pain medication “right back.”
We head back to California next. Before Ashley and Bar have a chance to register for tacky home goods, they learn they must relocate to a new home – one that will ultimately house said-tacky home goods. Ashley says the landlord of their current home wants to move back in and she’d prefer not to shack up with a ’Teen Mom 2’ cast member (plus Bus Pass Bar and a toddler).
Ashley and Bar end up finding a new home to rent, though Ashley says because the landlord was “skeptical” to rent a brand new home, they end up having to fork over rent for the entire year.
Even though Ashley and Bar will most likely have to postpone their engagement party, Ashley says it’s worth it because she and her family won’t have to “live under a bridge.” Instead, they’ll get to stage this rental for filming purposes deal with a “skeptical” landlord for the next year while living in a house they don’t own. In Modesto.
Nevertheless, Bar and Ashley are pumped about their temporary home, especially the large backyard. Bar tells Ashley he plans to set up a man cave in the new home, and Ashley is down for it, though she tells Bar she’ll be hanging in the man cave right along with him, “with a man wig.”
As for Holly, she loves the new place and quickly makes herself at home.
Back in Miami, Briana and “Shirley” arrive at Jade’s rental 30 minutes after Christy and Corey take off to hunt for Jade’s allegedly exclusive pills. Sean fills Briana and “Shirley” in on what’s going on and they are shocked, because evidently they fast-forward through Jade’s scenes.
Two hours later, Christy is still MIA and Jade is still without any pain medication so Sean FINALLY decides to call Christy to see what the hold up is. Christy still insists that “no place” has the Percs, so Sean demands that she just get something – literally anything – that will ease Jade’s pain.
Though Christy’s phone allegedly doesn’t have service and only works on wifi, (or something super believable like that) Briana decides to use those precious few moments to talk to Christy herself.
While Briana talks to Christy, Sean vents to the producers about how irresponsible Christy is and how none of what she’s doing makes sense at the moment and we couldn’t agree more – which also doesn’t make any sense. If Sean is the voice of reason, you know things are a mess.
After Briana gets off the phone, she tells Sean that Christy was crying on the phone, but Sean insists “it’s an act.” Sean is fully convinced that Christy isn’t telling the truth and is “full of sh*t.” Jade, full of something else at the moment, kicks the cameras out so she can go to the bathroom with some assistance. While the cameras are still outside, Briana tells Jade what’s going on with her medicine and Jade gets emotional.
Briana assures Jade that Christy is “trying” and feels really bad about not being there with her… just not bad enough to return with her pills.
Briana tells the producers the stressful situation going on in Jade’s rental is making her sweaty and also (probably) very appreciative of her forever housemates, Roxanne and Brittany. When she goes back inside, she tells Jade that Christy is coming back with the prescriptions to hand them off relay-style to someone capable of completing very basic tasks.
Jade says she was worried her family would pull some shenanigans like this, because apparently scoring a free vacation to Miami just wasn’t enough for them.
Once hour three hits and Christy still hasn’t resurfaced, HBIC Larry rolls up to the house and tells Sean he needs to decide if Jade should go to the hospital.
Larry says with Jade having major surgery and currently no medication, it’s up to Sean to determine if he feels Jade has proper care to get her through the night. Because Jade is not only without proper care, but basically without care period, Sean agrees that the hospital is the way to go, though Larry tells him they’ll have to transport Jade via ambulance, as Christy took off with the crusty air mattress.
After getting the OK from Jade, Sean tells the crew to call 911, and Briana, who is dying for some camera time, takes it upon herself to make the call.
That’s all for this episode! Click here to read The Ashley’s recap of the previous episode of ‘Teen Mom 2!’
(Photos: MTV)
49 Responses
Briana’s booty is still a mess. I thought she fixed it???
A nurse on here explained it. I don’t know what state she is in, but here in Tennessee it’s the same as she said. Because of the opioid epidemic in America, doctors can’t simply call in painkillers. It has to be on paper and filled in person. I’m not sure about Florida, but here the person who’s name is on the prescription has to pick up the painkillers. I thought that might be Christy’s issue.
I’m in Florida and I pick up my cousin’s narcotics all the time. The first time, they ran my ID into system or whatever, now they just give it to me without needing any ID (it’s a locally owned pharmacy in a small town, though, so they know I usually pick his medications up after work since I’m already in town).
How does that work if you’re seriously ill though? Or recovering from surgery and unable to drive/walk? Or you have Covid? Or you’re completely out of it because you’re still being affected by anesthesia? Or you’re having end of life care at home and you’re literally dying? How do those people go pick up their own Rxs?
In MA dr’s can fax them.
If you have chronic pain they fax it and every 3 months you have to go in to actually check in with the doctor.
I’m in Texas, and they’ve never had an issue with letting my dad or husband fill my prescriptions (a written one by Dr is dropped off or called/sent over, and they they pick them up). Sure if you’re some random just calling up pharmacies they probably won’t tell you if they’ve got certain drugs available.
I’m not sure what state these other people are in, but tons of Drs and pharmaceutical facilities communicate with each other in various ways. Technology has come a long way.
Jade: My mom would NEVER take my pain meds and leave me suffering!
Also Jade: I’m not at all surprised she did this! Of course she did this to me! She’s horrible!
Pick one, ma’am. Cuz we all know the truth of an addict lifestyle.
In the words of Detox, I’m over it. Officially. When even the recap is too boring to get through (and that’s nothing about the recap. Just the material). I’ve stopped watching jenelles last season and have been more than sustained through these recaps. But wallpaper and 100 recaps on cellphones and preteens, I’m out hatters.
I believe it’s actually “I’ve had it! Officially!” haha love the Detox reference!
“If Sean is the voice of reason, you know things are a mess.” <– THIS. I was thinking this throughout the whole trainwreck of an episode. Sean, for once, seemed to have his head screwed on (somewhat) straight.
Briana/"Shirley" were totally there for the croissants and extra air-time. I feel bad for Jade and the legit pain she was in, but when Sean goes from Zero to Hero within half an episode, that's a big deal.
Plus, why did it look like they performed Jade's surgery in a storage closet? That's a strange entrance to the operating room, going past racks of towels and supplies.
The very first pharmacy would have helped her find that full script. They would have called around for her. So that whole driving around for hours looking for one excuse is some bullshit. Also, I know this was filmed in peek COVID but her mom wearing a mask in front of Jade because she has allergies? Huh? She seemed high AF. And when she did roll on up, she started walking with a limp? There are so many red flags.
Most pharmacies won’t call around about controlled substances.
Not sure why this is thumbed down.
Makes total sense. Don’t want some Christy robbing the place.
Pharmacies will absolutely call around if you go to get a script filled and they don’t have it. They have done it for me for pain killers, allergy meds, hormonal therapies, etc. It’s SOP really, unless they suspect you are pharmacy/drug shopping – which Christy totally comes across that way and why no one was helping her (if that was even the truth).
Another day, another episode where Briana is taking a trip with no kids
I never realized that, but you’re completely right! I mean Kail may take 1 million vacations a year, but 90% of the time it’s with her kids. Leah at least has her dumb conversations in a park where her kids can play. Brianna does nothing with her kids unless it’s their birthday! Sad.
So true!
They play IN the house and eat fast food as Bri and the coven talk crap about her baby daddy’s like her kids aren’t there and are too dumb to NOT get what they’re talking about!
Living under a bridge is the same thing as living in Modesto just in case you were wondering.
Hahaha! Truth!
Does Larry have a portal that he uses to just appear when things get a little dicey?
I’d like some more Larry portal episodes please! Maybe during Kail’s next home birth, Leah’s next talk at the park about STD’s and 401K’s, or when Brit finally gives Luis the beat down he deserves…
Maybe that’s what this show needs…More Larry.
Jade, don’t send your drug-seeking mother out to secure your pain meds. I think we all learn that one in kindergarten. Christy will cut out your kidneys and sell them for drugs if she thinks she can get away with it. (Can you imagine how many times she would have stolen and sold Ali’s wheelchairs if Ali were her grandchild??)
The whole situation with Jade was so disturbing. I can’t believe she (or anyone for that matter), was sent off to be cared for by such irresponsible people. I would think she would need to be monitored and looked after by a nurse for at least a day after surgery? These plastic surgery clinics are so sketchy. When Jade said a couple of episodes back that she was bringing the entire family with her I knew it was a bad idea. These are not peaceful people. Christy, her dad, and Sean don’t even clean up after themselves, on what planet did Jade think they could properly care for her after having major surgery? She probably thought it would be smooth sailing and treated it like a family vacation.
I also found it really weird that they were totally fine with her just lying down in the back of a van on an air mattress. Anytime I’ve picked anyone up from the hospital or doctors office, the nurses make sure they are sitting comfortable and bucked up before they let us take off. And if she’s in so much pain that she can’t sit in a car with a seat belt on then she probably shouldn’t be sent home yet.
I’m also wondering why Chrissy didn’t bring up the fact that she hadn’t been able to get the Rx filled when she was at the plastic surgeon’s picking Jade up. I didn’t watch, but from the recap it sounds like she was out trying to pick up the Rx while Jade had surgery, then went to pick Jade up and told Jade she didn’t have the meds yet, then went out to keep looking after the surgery. Why didn’t she just tell the nurses or the doctor at the clinic that she hadn’t been able to find a pharmacy that had these drugs in stock? They could’ve called the pharmacy for her to make sure they had it and then called the Rx in so it would just be ready for pick up. Or they could’ve written a new script for something else if the entire state of FL was magically out of Percocet. Or they could’ve given her something for the pain at the clinic before they sent her home. I just find it so weird that Chrissy knew she was having all this trouble getting the script filled and just didn’t tell the nurses or ask for their advice. This whole thing is SOOO weird.
I’m a RN and in my state, we are no longer able to call in any controlled substances. The script has to physically be written out by a Physician (PA’s and NP’s can’t even sign off on controlled substances) and taken in person. I don’t live in Florida and am unfamiliar with their laws, but due to the ever growing drug problem our country is in I would think they’d possibly have same kind of laws.
Is that the same during the pandemic though? My husband used to have to go into the doctors office every month to see a doctor and pick up a new paper Rx (one month supply, no refills) for a medication he takes that is regulated like opiates. But during the pandemic, the office starting doing video calls instead and calling the Rx into the pharmacy and then he just goes and picks it up. So I’m wondering if a lot of the rules about needing to have a paper Rx, or not being able to pick up an opiate Rx unless it’s for you personally, or not being allowed to call in a Rx are not necessarily state or federal laws but actually just “best practice” polices of the medical group, doctor, or the pharmacy—as in there is a different way to do things in extenuating circumstances or if the doctor/pharmacy decides to allow it. I feel like whatever was happening with Jade should have been able to be fixed at the doctor’s office when Christy went to pick Jade up and told her she hadn’t been able to find a pharmacy that could fill the Rx.
Or maybe the paper Rx and not being allowed to call in an opiate Rx from the doctor’s office are actual state laws but then new emergency laws were put in place to allow things like zoom appointments and calling in a Rx. But either way, if it’s emergency laws being instated or just policies that are becoming more flexible bc of the pandemic, things that used to be not allowed are suddenly being allowed here in Michigan at least.
Exactly, the whole thing is so off. And on this week’s episode Christy comes back but no explanation is ever given on where she was/what took so long. She also had other drugs with her (Zofran?). Something weird was going on that Jade doesn’t want out. I wish she would stop protecting these grifters (Sean included).
Zofran is a medication to help with nausea.
It doesn’t do anything for pain but it can sure calm a sick stomach!
I wonder if Christy’s on a drug seeker registry in FL and couldn’t get the script filled?
Also, let’s take a moment to recognize that Leah was the only original girl in this episode. The focus was almost entirely on Jade, Briana, and Ashley.
Give it up MTV. Merge all of the original girls into one final series, then do yearly “where are they now?” Specials.
This is what I thought too. It is possible she is not able to pick them up because the pharmacy will not let her due to her history.
Plus instead of driving all around town, why not call the pharmacies and ask if it’s in stock? Way faster and then you have your answer there.
Most pharmacies won’t tell you over the phone if they have a controlled substance in stock.
But would they tell the doctor?
I feel like the doctors would have that already sent in to the patient’s preferred pharmacy or maybe the closest pharmacy to the clinic.
I don’t think I’ve had a paper prescription in forever. I’m always asked what pharmacy I can or want to pick up at.
Whole thing here is dicey.
? omg.
Did Brianna lose a bet, who dressed her??
What idiot sends out addicts to pick up their pain meds? She’s surrounded by addicts and she doesn’t do anything long term for them to stop. You have to cut them out of your life until they are ready to do better. If they haven’t done it for you by now, chances are they aren’t going to. Its like doing the exact same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Poor Chloe.. unless Jade gets it together, she doesn’t have a chance. She should have spent the money on drug rehab for her entire family and waited on the plastic surgery. You need sober, stable people in your life more than you need big boobs and a butt lift… people are so f’d up with their priorities… smfh
Why would she do that when she has free babysitters! Who cares if they are druggies!
?
Christy is full of it. Every pharmacy has freaking Percocet in stock. And if they don’t, they don’t just send you off to drive around the state randomly to find a pharmacy that might have it. They just pull up the network, see exactly which other pharmacy has it in stock, and send you directly there.
What was the purpose of bringing her drug addict parents? Jade herself could have filled the script before surgery. It is ridiculous how everyone KNOWS what Christy did, yet Jade defends her and makes dumb excuses. I think Jade is just used to the chaos so thats what she prefers.
Crusty Christy and her leech was out getting high and didn’t want to be bothered… they needed those 3-5 hours to get high and come down enough to find their way back. I don’t know why People are skating around the issue but I bet you anything those old folks couldn’t pass a piss test on their best day.. unfortunately Jade only requires that from scumbag Sean when they all need to be taking one to even be on the show. MTV has become the enablers in this mess. I can’t stand to watch it!!
In my state, you can fill the post-surgery Rx (or at least part of it) BEFORE the surgery so you are not chasing the pain after surgery meds wear off. Second, why would anyone put Christy in charge of ANYTHING????
I actually just had breast implants and lipo 3 weeks ago( it hurt like a m***ker!) and you’re totally correct. My husband had all of my scripts in our bag a week before my surgery. We live in California, but I assume it’s similar in most states.
I don’t get it..is there not plastic surgeons in other states??
Publicity for the surgeon = Free new body for Jade (and Brianna)!
Brianna appears to smell as bad as Jade’s mother looks. I don’t understand why she always looks so dirty.
Very true!
“Let’s take a moment to appreciate these nurses for simultaneously cutting “WTF do you think?” eyes at Christy.”– literally laughed my ass off!!!
Why is “Shirley” always in parentheses?
Nobody believes her name is “Shirley”
We (shirley) don’t believe it for a hot minute!
I read a comment years ago about Christy from a store worker who recognized her on Y&P. Was a pretty trashy story, about how she was always coming in high and just being a general nuisance while on drugs or in need of drugs.
I believe Christy was not having issues finding a pharmacy to fill the prescription. A simple call would put all that to rest. They all have smartphones, so, that excuse is null and void.
Jade and Briana took to SM to defend her and there was “they dont show everything” and “you don’t know the truth” rhetoric, which to me means, somethings up.
That much damage control? Yeah, sorry, I don’t trust or believe Christy.