First of all, The Ashley would like to apologize for not recapping last week’s episode of Teen Mom OG. To punish herself for slacking off, she will force herself to listen to Farrah Abraham‘s musical masterpiece of a song, “Blowin’” on repeat until the next episode of this show airs.
Anyway, this week, we’ve got two moms knocked up, one mom trying to get help so her kids don’t end up on Cops, and one mom trying to make amends with those who she has wronged.
Oh…and Maci’s cleaning her garage. (But, you know, she doesn’t need Ryan to give her a storyline or anything!)
Let’s get started!
This week, we kick things off in Florida with Big Mack and her feral pack! Both Mackenzie and Josh have actual jobs. Like, they actually have to be somewhere at a certain time and perform a certain task. They’re not selling like polyester bell bottoms or T-shirts or weird coloring books of their wedding photos or anything. Like, they have actual jobs.
I honestly thought it was illegal for anyone on ‘OG’ to work. Who knew!?
Anyway, Mack is teaching gym classes and Josh is spending his days chewin’ tobaccy at the construction site. Since Mackenzie’s can teach her “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” classes any time of day or night, she’s been tasked with taking care of the youngins while Josh is at work. Taking care of three feral children is no easy task, so Mack calls up Parenting Counselor Jenny.
Mack starts explaining that the youngins listen to Josh when he grumbles loudly, but they totally disregard her when she tries to discipline them.
Jenny offers to put on her wading pants (in case Bronchial has another garage crap in him) and come on over to help Mack control her litter.
Later, Mackenzie explains to Josh that she has enlisted the help of the parenting counselor.
Josh regales us with tales from his childhood. He remembers fondly the days he spent as a pipsqueak, running from his Daddy and his belt. (Um…?)
“But I needed it!” he says.
UMMM…
“We got three healthy kids,” Josh says. “They just need a lil’ tune-up!”
We next check in with Catelynn and Tyler in Michigan at the Octagon of Triggers. Cate— fresh of her “Itsyoursexlife.org” talk with her little brother Nick— feels like the kids in her life are all growing up too fast. Nova tells her that she’s not really looking forward to having yet another baby bellowing through the Octagon but, hey, she kind of knew it was coming as soon as she saw Cate starting to piss into Tupperwares.
Tyler and Cate talk about how Nova— who has made it clear that she doesn’t even want another baby to enter the Octagon— would feel watching Baby Sister No. 600 fly out of Catelynn’s hoo-ha. Tyler suggests that Nova may have a heart attack, so Cate’s just like, “Then let’s do it!”
Um…?
Later, Cate and Ty go lounge by their pool and discuss how Nova is totally ready to watch her sister being born, since she watches Animal Kingdom all the time and watches “giraffes s**t kids out all the time.”
AS YOU DO.
Catelynn remembers that Maci forced Bentley to watch her birth Oopsie Baby No. 3, so she decides to give Maci a ring and talk to her about the experience. She FaceTimes her and asks if Bentley enjoyed watching a living being being crapped out of his mom’s baby box.
Then, they move on to more nausea-inducing topics, such as making their husbands get the Ye Olde “Snip Snip.” Maci says Taylor is pretending to want more kids so that Maci doesn’t make him get the chop. Cate says he’s being a baby since they have to do hard stuff with their bodies to have kids.
Next we head on over to California. Cheyenne’s new co-star due in eight weeks, so Zach is focused on putting a ring on Cheyenne’s finger– unless last week’s skydiving adventure convinces MTV to give him a last minute spot on The Challenge first.
Zach tells Cheyenne’s stepdad he’s decided to get into real estate because unlike Cheyenne’s other baby daddy Cory, he only has one gig on MTV and needs a way to contribute financially to the 63 parties a year his future wife will undoubtedly throw.
While Zach “studies,” Cheyenne’s friends come over so they can all talk and laugh about how clueless Zach is going to be when baby Ace arrives.
I think that’s nice…
Cheyenne says Zach has no idea what he’s in for, so her friends suggest they set up a fatherhood obstacle course to humble him.
Seriously, how do these people have so much time on their hands!? Between party planning, ordering helicopters and obstacle course arranging, their “Extraness” is a full time job.
The next day, Cheyenne’s posse return to help host The Daddy Olympics, aka Zach’s Audition for ‘The Challenge: Clueless Baby Daddy Edition.”
After stressing the importance of never dropping your baby, the girls go on to have Zach make bottles and play video games while holding a fake baby Ace.
Zach goes on to change a diaper– blindfolded, as all parents do– and choke down jars of baby food. He struggles to get through the latter, ultimately dropping the baby, not unlike the ball producers dropped when they decided to make this Cheyenne’s entire story this episode.
Just when we think this show is scraping the bottom of the barrel with Cheyenne’s “Daddy Olympics,” here comes Maci with a “let’s clean the garage” storyline.
This is rough. Like…Friday night at the McKinney home and only a six-pack of beer left in the fridge rough.
Anyway, over in Tennessee, Taylor tells Maci he’d rather play golf than declutter their furniture-filled garage, which Maci, for some reason, is surprised to hear.
The next day, Maci ends up taking on the garage-cleaning task without Taylor. With Bentley and the Oopsie Babies seemingly MIA this episode, Maci forces her friend Ashley to come over and help her, mainly so she has someone to bitch to and go fetch her beers.
Ashley asks Maci why they’re stuck cleaning her garage instead of Taylor, and Maci says Taylor’s excuse is that he’s always too busy. Maci says Taylor isn’t busy, he’s just golfing. Still, she admits things could be way worse.
Later on, Maci tells Taylor about her conversation with Cate, specifically the part about Tyler getting a vasectomy soon. Taylor physically cringes at the thought of getting the “snippy snip”– as Maci puts it– but Maci insists it needs to happen. Maci seems like she’s ready to go grab a machete and slice the damn thing herself.
Speaking of machetes, let’s check in with Amber!
Our resident ‘Teen Mom OG’ couch queen is trying to make things right with Gary and Kristina after calling them hoebag slut homewrecker wh0res and whatnot over on The Instagram. Amber suggests the three of them get together for dinner to make peace, and shockingly, Gary agrees to go, provided that Amber agrees to “keep it all positive.”
And Amber has the [unsnipped] balls to actually GET OFFENDED by that.
Once she’s off the phone, Amber is asked by producers why she believes Gary was so insistent on keeping things “positive.” According to Amber, Gary isn’t good with “changes” and still thinks of Amber the way she used to be and not as the standup person she is claiming to be this week now.
Back in Florida, things are going as normal: Bronx Tale is cussing in front of his teachers (as you do), and the kids are totally disregarding Mackenzie’s authority. Mack calls her sister up and explains to her that she called the knock-off Supernanny because she wants the kids to respect her. Right now, she counts a day as a win if no one ends up in a coffin, emergency room or jail.
I think that’s nice…
The next day, Parenting Coordinator Jenny arrives at the McKee household (without a helmet…she will regret that…). She is not there one minute before Bronchitis is mauling a stuffed animal in his mouth and the girl youngin is just screaming “Mommy!” over and over again. It’s like something out of a horror movie.
Soon, it’s time to go pick up Gannon at the bus stop. The entire motley crew walks down there and Mack tells Parenting Counselor Jenny that the girl youngin is being held back in school and will have to repeat first grade. Mackenzie doesn’t seem bothered by the fact that the kid is being held back, though.
As soon as they get home, Gannon bolts out the door, ditches his phone and takes off on his bike. (I see her learned that from his Daddy.) The girl youngin is refusing to do her homework and Broncosaurus is nowhere to be found, but he’s surely eating dirt out in the front yard or burning a neighbor’s house down or something.
She sends the girl youngin to go give Gannon his phone and he calls Mack and basically tells her to take her Parenting Counselor experiment and shove it. Mackenzie starts freaking out, realizing this will all be on-camera. The producer’s like, “Um…this isn’t new, this is your life.”
Back in Michigan, Catelynn is disappointed when she’s told that Nova isn’t allowed to be in the room when she’s giving birth to the new baby. They decide that it’s better to just let Nova FaceTime them, rather than have her in there when the afterbirth is flying around and Tyler’s writing poetry about newborns and whatnot.
Nova’s fine with it, and begins to ask Ty and Cate questions about how babies come out of the mothers. Catelynn— ever the eloquent wordsmith— tells the poor kid that her baby chute is so broken in by having four kids that it’s “gonna be like a waterslide” this time around.
Nova (and the entire viewing audience) is horrified.
Over in Indiana, Gary tells Kristina about the upcoming dinner he’s roped them both into, adding that he’s not sure what Amber is expecting, aside from the two of them picking up the check.
Kristina— this absolute saint of a woman— agrees to go eat with Amber, despite the fact that Ambie called her all of those names, accused her of horrible things and refused to actually apologize to her for it.
An absolute saint…
Gary and Kristina agree that just because they want to move forward with Amber, it doesn’t mean Leah feels the same, and that Amber will have to fix that one on her own. Still, Gary says it’s important for the three of them to get along to hopefully get to a point where both Amber and James can come around more and spend time with Leah.
When the day of the forgive and forget feast arrives, Gary and Kristina are inside the restaurant waiting for Amber, who for some reason, can’t show up on time despite having little to no responsibilities at home. Poor Gary has to even get a snack to hold him off until Amber arrives… he jokes that she’s an hour late…but I’m not even sure if he’s joking.
Um…was the online Purdue gift shop having a sale on college logo headscarves or something?! What could possibly be more important than showing up on time to make amends with these two people who should never talk to you again?!
Eager to make up for Amber’s tardiness, Gary gets right down to business throwing the word “positivity” around and talking about apologies and moving forward.
Gary tells Amber he wants Leah and James to have a relationship and Amber says it was great seeing them together recently “even though there was an elephant in the room.”
Amber begins talking about her Wednesdays with James and how it’s convenient to hang out with the Shirleys because she’s already in the area, but Gary interjects to let Amber know he doesn’t want to “put a schedule on anything yet.” Gary goes on to give Amber a pep talk she doesn’t deserve, assuring her that he and Kristina are always on her side, even when she’s publicly trashing them and embarrassing herself on social media.
“You know me, I’ve got the mouth!” Amber chuckles.
“And thumbs too!” Gary offers. “Texting!”
He then looks like he’s immediately sorry he said it and is nervously laughing (and most likely trying to frantically put on a cup over his gym shorts.) Luckily, though, Amber takes it as a joke.
“I mean, I do got those thumbs! I got the mouth too!” she says.
(Gary breathes a sigh of relief once he realizes they aren’t all going to end up on the evening news.)
Kristina– the one who was wronged the most in this whole couch heap of crap, remains silent throughout the whole conversation, even as Amber tells her that “they’re all doing OK now.”
UMMM….
Amber– who lacks both motivation to leave her couch and any trace of self-awareness– tells Gary she’s made peace with how Leah feels about her at the moment, as she’s felt the same way about her own mom in the past.
Later on, Gary tells Kristina he’s happy dinner went well and even happier Amber didn’t go full-on rill woman on him or anyone else in the restaurant. He then mentions again the importance of Leah and James having a relationship.
Amber, meanwhile, tells Producer David that the dinner went OK, except for the fact that “Gary wasn’t even that nice.”
Ummm…UMMMM!? You told millions of people that his wife is a great big ol’ hoebag. I think he gets to be a little short with you for a while, Ambie.
But Amber– a rill woman, through and through— is getting saucy.
“I need him to understand some things!” she says.
Amber— sitting in front of an Einstein doll and a doll of some sort of Beatle (?)— says calling Gary and Kristina awful liars and Kristina a wh0re bag is just a “bump in the road.” She starts rattling on about “hills” and “mountains” and poor Producer David has to sit there and act like he knows what in the Sam Hell she’s yakking about.
Amber then says that she’s accepted that Leah BooBoo doesn’t like her right now.
“I didn’t choose not one f**king man over my daughter!” Amber insists. “And anyone who says that, they don’t know s**t!”
That’s all for this episode of ‘Teen Mom OG!’ To read The Ashley’s recaps of previous episodes, click here!
(Photos: MTV)
24 Responses
Whatever respect I had for any of these girls is long gone.
They’re aging, they’re bored, they’ve become d-bags, and they’re exaggerating any possible storyline for keep the stinky MTV cash flowing.
The only respect I could have rests with Gary and Kristina – but until they decide to leave the show and give Leah her privacy, they won’t get more than a tiny bit of my respect.
This show is like reading a fantasy twilight novel now. It’s all such bullshit.
This show has done no favors to these folks. With few exceptions, the money and attention has arrested their development. Most are now just entitled, emotionally immature and lacking in any kind of self-awareness or accountability. And without some type of intervention, their children will just perpetuate those cycles.
True….and the poor kids won’t have any money once the Mum’s blow through it all. The kids’ll be preyed upon by shysters, no doubt, trying to use them to make a quick buck.
So much to unpack here, but I find some dark humor in Amber seemingly way more butthurt about Garbear than Leah.
She set up a face to face meeting, likely to get some film time, dressed up of course (at least the sumo bun wasn’t present), and didn’t really apologize. Garbear didn’t buy her bullshit and gently agreed she was being a jerk.
Her big take away was Gary wasn’t nice enough. Girl… go see a real therapist and doctor, maybe several, and sort your life out or it will really be beyond repair.
And it’s depressing watching Cate and Ty. They were the ones I had the most hope for in the beginning and now I feel like they’re becoming who they said they didn’t want to be. Also so boring they’ve got to interject themselves in the other TM’s lies…oops, life I mean ?
Right. C&T had the best start of all of the moms– they got paid to have the free time the other moms didnt have. They didn’t have a newborn to raise and could have went to school full time, or learned an actual trade or even started doing the “outreach” work they dreamed of once.
Anything. They could have done anything.
Instead, they got high, tried to be movie stars, popped out a shit ton more of excuses.
And they cant even pay their taxes.
I don’t blame Mackenzie’s kids for acting out with names like that – I can’t decide which name is the worst.
Ringo staring Amber down as she spouts blatant bullshit gave me the laugh I really needed today ?
Why is no one talking about The Ashley’s machete transition between Maci and Amber though? PERFECTION.
@Shea– thank you for noticing that! -The Ashley
Sooo, when Amber didn’t see Leah for an entire summer because she was “too depressed”, but she flew off to Hawaii with Andrew during that same time, she wasn’t choosing a man over her daughter? All the time she spent with Matt and Dimitri, but didn’t see Leah, wasn’t her choosing to put a man over her daughter?
Now don’t get me wrong, Leah was better off to be with Gary and Kristina than with Amber during these times. But if Amber truly cared about Leah the way that she claims she does, she would have been going to counseling, taking her meds, and doing what she needed to do to be a good mom and a better person. Instead she was sitting on her couch online gambling with Matt, going to California and Hawaii with Andrew, and going to “gel” again. Amber likes to attempt to re-write history in the same way Jenelle does…they both seem to forget it was all captured on film and their kids will see it later.
Excellent points, and just to add I remember feeling bad for Leah when Amber got pregnant with James. Not only was she certainly spending more time with a man instead of daughter, she acted like she was going to be a much better mom this time around.
While initially I had hoped Ambie would have taken that opportunity to grow up, that had to hurt Leah seeing that all over social media and TM. Like Amber had completely replaced her.
Can we stop being horrible about Macks kids.
They are just innocent children at the end of the day, and obviously they are from a broken and dysfunctional home and its affecting all of them.
Mack also lost her mother and her life partner is a robot so it can’t be easy to grieve with that lack of support.
And she works damn hard when she could probably sit back on her MTV cheques like the most of the others, so she deserves props not shame.
From the interviews on the show her parents were also very strict and imposed their strict religious lifestyle on their kids; so I dont blame her for wanting to give her own kids the freedom she most likely didn’t get.
Let’s be kind people, the world is hard enough
I came here to comment about Mack too. Yes I think she is too Lenient with her kids And they have for every little structure but I will give it to her. She’s a self motivated. Even after she didn’t come back from TM the first time ..she had started body by McKenzie and was pretty successful. I’m inspired seeing her try to open a gym and make some thing of herself with her TM money. Yeah she puts her personal stuff between her and Josh out there too much. But although I find her scenes a little boring..I admire the fact that they continue to work before and after being on the show. At least she has the sense to know this can’t last forever and do something productive while she has a shot. I also like that she owned her terrible remarks and was sincere in her apology and trying to do better. Unlike Cheyenne that never address her horrible remarks.
cheyenne’s been addressing her racist tweets and even till this day she still apologizes over it. but bristol never even addressed her homophobic tweets and even tries acting like it never happened and nobody is hassling cory’s baby mama taylor about hers. i wonder why ?
No one is harassing Taylor for her tweets because she has already apologized for them multiple times. She also addressed them on camera with Cheyenne.
Cheyenne apologized for her tweets by
Blaming a ‘shared account.’ It’s not the same thing. Either own up or don’t
Cheyenne addressed her comments and even publicly apologized to Corey since he’s mixed with white.
MACKENZIE addressed her comments and “sought help to understand what she said wrong” THREE TIMES. Twice from Cheyenne. and STILL used the phrase “angry black woman” when speaking to Cheyenne.
The truth is, Mackenzie sees NOTHING wrong with how she spoke, she was FORCED to apologize and CONTINUES to remain ignorant to her statements and continues to MAKE ignorant statements.
I was coming here to say some thing about Mack as well. Yes her kids are undiscipline and out of control… at least she’s reaching out for help when they are young. And she did some thing with her money before TM and even after TM. I think she had a successful body by Mack workout on YouTube Before the show picked her back up again. She definitely puts her personal business with Josh out there too much but I admire her work ethic and also Josh’s. . Gary Jeremy Josh Corey (Leah’s first husband) etc..They continue to work even after getting paid such exuberant amount. Mack’s children lacks discipline and a stable routine but I applaud her for trying to get help when they’re young. Some of her scenes our shocking with her children so I hope this counselor really can help her. Also I like that she was sincere in her apology when she said those racist things. Unlike Cheyenne who never addressed her racist remarks.
Raise your hand if your living for the moment Kristina has enough of Ambie shit and completely rims are out!??♀️?♀️?♀️
They are all too privileged for their own good!
Mackenzie’s children are OUT OF CONTROL!
I get anxious every time they’re shown!
What the hell is she doing? (Besides laughing when she should be disciplining)
She doesn’t even feel embarrassed! ?
It does seem a lot of the kids on the show are a wild bunch but Mac’s kids are in a whole other category!
She better step up and start being a parent or they WILL end up in jail or pregnant!
Amber, Cheyenne, and Catelynn are all insufferable.
Maci and Mackenzie are semi insufferable.
I think it’s amazing how Amber keeps forgetting that the cameras are RECORDING everything she is saying and doing, and that Leah(and everyone else) will be able to see and hear her ignorant words for infinity and beyond. She literally takes one step forward, five steps back. The opposite of self-aware. The best thing for Amber(and def Leah) is to not have this platform to babble on.
I feel for Mack, but is MTV and that great book deal paying her enough to maybe take a few months off from the gym dealio, and put 100% FOCUS on her kids, and a schedule, consistency, discipline etc? I think she would benefit more than anyone. What she has been doing isnt working, so why not try something different?
I didn’t choose not one f**king man over my daughter! and anyone who says that, they don’t know s**t!” uhhh didn’t leah herself say that though for years???
and i’m glad we’re finally acknowledging that mackenzie’s kids are monsters. i used to try to excuse them by saying they’re just kids but a bunch of moms in the fanbase seem to agree too. i remember someone tweeting about that and mackenzie tried blaming angie’s death on their behavior like that wasn’t going on before