Amber Portwood has been teasing some “big projects” she’s working on for months now, and, late last week the Teen Mom OG star announced one of them. Amber recently released her new “Portwood AF” merchandise line, which includes coffee cups, hoodies and T-shirts with “very Amber” sayings.
“Portwood AF” (which means “Portwood as f**k”– just an FYI) is not Amber’s first clothing line. (Who can forget her infamous “Forever Haute” brand in which she tasked her then-boyfriend Matt Baier with hiring models to for her “brand.”)
Anyway, Amber has taken the job of modeling the new merch herself. In a series of promo pics Amber can be seen on the couch or in bed (natch), wearing the first items from the line. (The clothing items ship only within the United States at this time, so you’ll have to mail them out to your Belgian boyfriends yourselves!)
The Ashley knows that the holidays are upon us, so you may be starting to look for gifts for your pals. (That is, of course, provided you aren’t already filling your friends’ stockings with gift cards to Billy Bob’s Cut ‘n’ Buzz, where everyone receives a salt-n-pepper mullet ‘do a la Butch!)
Here, The Ashley breaks down all of Amber’s “Portwood AF” offerings!
For the friend who needs some inspiration:
The Ashley suggests Amber’s “Fighter For Life” tee for your down-on-their-luck buddies. The cotton crewneck– which runs for $28– will inspire your pal to go out there and fight for what they want. (We can assume this isn’t encouraging people to throw TVs at their boyfriend’s heads when they get into an argument…right?) The tee has no pockets (so you’ll have to store your “Mother Goddess” swords elsewhere, sorry!)
For the pal who lives for Instagram:
If your friend has yet to find the perfect “Amber-esque” kimono to wear during your Instagram Live rants, allow The Ashley to suggest you buy her the “Unfollow Me” T-shirt. In the product photo, Amber is shown lounging in bed (natch), phone in hand, and modeling this V-neck unisex tee. It’s available in sizes small to 2XL, so it will fit “Dad Bods” and “Rill Women” figures of all shapes and sizes! This shirt also runs for $28.
For your buddy with drastically varying moods:
If you never know if your friend will be “sending love” or sending a machete through your bedroom door, this coffee mug is for you! The dishwasher safe mug features four of Amber’s frequently seen moods: from “Zen AF” (while lounging on the couch); to “I Got This” (while giving an inspirational talk on Instagram Live), to “Unfollow Me” and finally to “Portwood AF” (which, as we know, means someone might end up on the news tonight!) This ceramic cup retails for only $18.
For the galpal who’s fresh from the slammer:
Keep your buddy who’s just been released from “gel” warm this winter by buying them the “Portwood AF” hoodie sweatshirt! Featuring a front pocket (to store their phone so they can quickly message their Belgian boos!), the hoodie runs from sizes Small to 3XL and features the “Portwood AF” slogan in bright letters across the front. Your legally challenged friend will be hot (and also sweaty) in this stylin’ sweatshirt!
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For your aggressive, yet loveable BFF…who you want backing you up during a fight:
For the friend you trust to have your back; the “rill” woman you know would kick someone down the stairs for you without a second thought, The Ashley suggest the “I’m Going To Portwood Your A**” sweatshirt. For $55, you can let people know you’re not someone to be messed with.
Amber recently told a follower on Instagram that she is “just getting started” with the “Portwood AF” line and that more merch options will be available soon.
She also dealt with some criticism and negative feedback, after some fans felt that some of the merch sayings (particularly the “I’m Going To Portwood Your A**” sweatshirt) was glorifying/making light of domestic violence, a crime Amber has been arrested for multiple times.
She took to Instagram shortly after the products were released to defend the slogans, insisting that it this is just a fun project and she never intended to make light of violence.
“There is only room for positive people and energy in this space,” Amber wrote on Instagram. “If you feel any negative or hateful feelings towards a person then there is no need for you here. My new line #portwoodaf does not condone any sort of violence and comments referring that is so do not belong here. This was a fun project that I made taking different sayings from supporters and started wearing myself at first and now sharing with you. Stay positive loves and don’t make misconceptions for what certain things mean.”
Check out the entire “Portwood AF” merch line by clicking here!
RELATED STORY: Amber Portwood Fires Back at Critics During (Another) Instagram Live: “I Can Play A Victim, Because I Am A Victim”
(Photos: PortwoodAF.com; MTV; Instagram)
40 Responses
The only time I’m ever wearing clothing with someone else’s last name on it, it’s going to be Versace or Chanel, not PORTWOOD ?
Is she serious? Who would wear any of this?
Hilarious descriptions!
Why anyone would want to wear PORTWOOD emblazoned anything is beyond me.
I was thinking the same thing. I think Amber usually does good with her makeup. But some of these didn’t even look like her.
Is Amber unaware that she’s been on tv for 10+ years and that means we know what she looks like? Because these pictures are wild. They look nothing like her. The makeup is bizarre for T-shirt modeling and the photoshop with the contrast turned way up to make her look like she’s orange for some reason was a….,,bold(?) choice, I guess. I don’t even think that Amber is a bad looking woman normally. She’s crazy, and I don’t like her at all, but she’s not unattractive. But these photos….who is this? This isn’t a cute look for her. The weird, cheap, poorly fitting t-shirts and sweatshirts, the fact that she looks like she got into a fight with 10,000 battalions of bronzer and lost terribly, the overly arched, dated eyebrows. Why? Just, why?
I was thinking the same thing. I think Amber usually does good with her makeup. But some of these didn’t even look like her.
This gel bird has no shame! Surely she know the universe despises her, right?? So either she is doing this for a good internal chuckle, or she is actually truly delusional. I honestly cannot wait for the curtain to go down and see her have to get a rill job. She’ll probably end up doing nudie shots for a couple bucks a pop.
Now now they also glorify unprotected sex, underage parenting, pill gobbling, mental and physical spousal abuse, dropping out of high school AND college, selling your body as a brand, misandry, blundering your way through life with no discernible skill or talent other than fighting and getting pregnant, shilling sweatshop garbage, and she probably also has some unreturned Netflix DVDs lying around that I am willing to overlook. Totally fabulous lifestyle brand to support lol. If she lived in a trailer and was not on TV, then this would all be pretty mean to say, but in all this time she has not seemed to learn very much from her experiences with a lot more guidance and resources than most of us get. Take that foot off the crazy gas, Amby and just let Kail pass on the shoulder lol.
I predict that the sales of her merchandise will be about as successful as Jenelle’s moldy brow kits.
You are only a VICTIM of your own making. I have no sympathy for you at all. I’ve never seen such a self centered person in my life. You literally turn every conversation or event into something about you. You’re daughter sees right through you.
On dear… I have so many questions. I can only imagine what Amber is saying to herself as she looks at her pictures, especially the closeups. LOL, especially the one sipping from her cup. LMAO How much work did she do practicing her poses? Oh, those trying-to-look, winsome expressions. smh How much time & work went into getting someone to do her makeup just right? And, does she really think people are going to buy her, directly from China so cheap you can see thru the the fabric, t-shirts, kimonos, & sweatshirts?
Geez, isn’t doing all of this promo work for her new clothing line taking her away from her scholarly endeavors at Purdue U Global? Better get back to cracking those books, Amber, you never know when a follower will need you to diagnose & give them your sound advice & and, you know, change their life.
Can’t tell if Amber just swiftly deletes her Instagram page all the time, or if I am for some reason blocked.. ?
I have never commented or liked anything but I just get user not found no matter what.. feel like I missing out on some comedy gold here
Hey Ambien! How about your next big project be about fostering better relationships with your kids. Mane a shirt that says “fighting for my kids!” No one is going to buy that trash. Well maybe a rill woman would but that’s about it.
How are these comments so highly upvoted? Does that mean amber has no friends downvoting them for her? Is she still sleeping? That means amber is probably one of the least liked women on teen mom, rightfully so. Where are her fans? Lol
Bubby is her fan
She’s soo low budget
And just imagine, Jenelle’s merch looks even worse.
Such poor quality by the looks of it
She forgot the tee that says “I’m a damn good mom”
hahahahaha
Get a rill job, amber
There should be a mug with “So I haven’t seen Leah for a while”
Jesus God Leah… I hope Amber doesn’t send any of this crap to LeahBooBoo as Xmas presents.
But if Amber were to send something from her “clothing line” to Leah, I’m sure Leah’s response would be hilariously savage and I would hope cameras would be there to capture it.
I asked if she was coming out with a couch line. …..she deleted it.?
Okay now that is funny!
?????????
Love it.
I was hoping for a head wrap
Honestly…there is so much I can say about this..these pictures..but I can’t get over the fact that she literally went to some motel, threw on some dollar store lashes and is modeling coffee cups and sweatshirts based off of her being a trash bag. Like, where can I get this level of delusion, for real.
I mean, she didn’t even include a coffee cup with a shot of her in her onesie calling Matt trash as the garbage truck drove by in the background. Give the people what they want, Ambie.
“fighter for life”
Now she’s just mocking Andrew and Gary, while laughing in MTV and the audience’s face.
Please remember this is a woman who has justified her Domestic Abuse by saying that Gary provoked her. Justified her abuse to Matt by saying well he hit me back, like WFT. And has called Andrew a p*ssy.
How is it that Farrah was kicked off, for doing p0rn, which is legal in the US, but this sh*t is allowed?
It doesn’t even look good. The saying don’t make sense and she models them horribly
Comments referring to her history of violence don’t belong because she can’t handle criticism. Honestly, who wants to wear anything that has her last name on it? That’s so weird. They’re not jerseys ? these are also terrible photos of her. She needs to work on her relationship with her daughter, not trying to do this influencer shit
certainly not her daughter
Is this for real lol
Who, on gods green earth, would possibly buy this merch. No one is that much of a tool to wear this.
Going out of business in 3 2 1.
stay lit
What exactly does “I’m going to Portwood your ass” mean if it doesn’t mean violence?
I hope the “Machete Mom” hoodie comes out before Christmas
Amber is deranged
Agree!!! She seriously needs help and her children should stay away from her at least Leah is old enough to make her own decisions when it comes to Amber while James will have own decisions when it comes to his mom when he’s old enough.
The only thing that’s great about this news is The Ashley’s hilarious write up!?
Omg I died when I read the write-up, comedic GOLD. Maybe Amber can ‘portwood’ her own ass and disappear?
Always!