After what feels like the entirety of Bentley Edwards’ 13 years on earth, Season 9B of Teen Mom OG is finally over! 

We don’t know about you all, but pushing through these 26 episodes hasn’t been easy. Seriously… if they would’ve stretched this season out to 30 episodes, we would’ve been sliding into Cate’s DMs to learn more about the upkeep of therapy horses. 

Fortunately, our homes remain foal-free (for now), and we couldn’t be happier to say farewell to storylines revolving around garages– cleaning or crapping in them– angry part-time parents, and moms with first world problems. 

Before we change our minds and opt out of watching this reunion the same way Amber has opted out of shoveling her rump off the couch, let’s get into it! 

The ‘Teen Mom OG’ Reunion Part 2 picks up moments after Amber has done the unthinkable. No, she didn’t become a stellar mom, obtain her masters degree, reveal that her PortwoodAF hoodies have sold out online, finally pronounce “jail” correctly, or move out of that Airbnb, but she did willingly remove herself from a couch, so that’s progress. 

As Amber storms off the stage while shouting her famous catchphrase, ”I’m a damn good mom” “I’m done,” Dr. Drew  cowers and sweats through his designer tee and blazer as Amber questions Gary and Kristina’s decision to keep the fact that Leah is going to therapy from her, aka “the mother.” 

“So the 12-year-old child is running every single thing,” asks Amber– the 31-year-old mother who doesn’t run anything besides her mouth. 

Amber continues placing 99 percent of the blame onto poor Kristina, the woman who stepped up to mother Amber’s child while Amber was too busy flogging Matt Baier’s hog to be a “roll mom.”

Dr. Drew throws in a line or two in order to convince MTV that he’s earning his paycheck. In the midst of all this chaos, Amber has the audacity to chime in and tout the approximately five months of Purdue (Global) education she’s obtained. 

Self-proclaimed-Purdue-(Global)-prodigy Amber is eventually persuaded to rejoin Gary, Dr. Drew and Nessa on the stage, as is Kristina, who looks less- than- thrilled to be there (and honestly a little concerned about how close she is to the Portwood Fists ‘o’ Fury).

After Kristina talks to Amber with the same tone she uses to parent the very child Amber shot out of her teenage baby cannon so many years ago, Amber finally calms the hell down. Gary, of course, pipes in to mention that Leah didn’t really want her therapy journey broadcast all over this MTV show they’ve sold their souls to, and Amber pretends to agree.

She also tells Dr. Drew that she apologized for her Instagram Live rant(s), during which she called Kristina a homewrecking whore. 

Amber’s segment wraps up with her referring to herself, Gary and Kristina as a “blended family,” despite Leah– the only person tying them together– perpetually leaving Amber’s texts on read. 

The next mom up in the hot seat is Maci, who for the first time, isn’t rocking a TTM t-shirt. 

After giving a quick update on Bentley and the Oopsie Babies, Maci admits to Dr. Drew and Nessa that she has an unhealthy relationship with emotions. She then rambles on about homesickness and missing people, leaving us confused as hell and wishing Amber would get her prodigy ass back out on the stage to explain it to us simple-minded folks. 

Dr. Drew– bravely, for once– attempts to make sense of what Maci is trying to say, but even he hasn’t a clue. Maci ultimately reveals the homesickness she felt started after she had her miscarriage back in 2018. Throughout the hardships and um, homesickness(?), Maci says she likes the person she is now because she’s “present instead of possessive.”

Oh, someone send Taylor a therapy horse. Maci sounds like an absolute nightmare to be legally bound to.

Just as Maci is telling Dr. Drew and Nessa how “fine” she is, they bring Taylor out and force the two of them to watch an action-packed recap of the season, including Maci’s PTSD trauma and their suddenly terribly marriage. 

After a look back at the season, Dr. Drew asks Maci and Taylor about the struggles in their marriage, and Maci insists it all stems from she and Taylor “not prioritizing our marriage”/having their kids involved in about 32-too many activities. 

With that, Maci and Taylor wrap up their segment for Part 2 and head backstage to argue about their messy garage back home. (Probably.) 

Speaking of garages that are messy, Mackenzie joins Dr. Drew and Nessa on the stage next, and we don’t know about you all, but we’re more excited than Maci during happy hour to hear Mackenzie attempt to defend her/Josh’s/her terror-youngins’ behavior from this season. 

Before Josh can even grunt out a “hi,” they’re forced to watch/cringe at their highlight reel, which conveniently gives them an opportunity to plan a response for Dr. Drew when he asks how it feels to watch their hot mess life play out on TV.

During those few moments, Mackenzie comes up with what she believes is the perfect response: “no one wants to see us together.” She explains to Dr. Drew that people on social media are constantly bashing her and Josh’s relationship and once she learned how to “drowned”––yes, you read that right––all of that out, things became easier. 

Dr. Drew asks the McKees if they ever considered seeking professional help to appease the haters on social media but Mackenzie says they never did because she didn’t want to. She goes on to explain that her mother’s death caused her to be very angry at everyone and everything and she didn’t think that sort of mindset would bode well in couple’s counseling. 

Mackenzie also claims to take out a lot of her anger on Josh before stating that their kids are at their best when she and Josh are doing well– which explains A LOT. 

And speaking of kids, Nessa takes one for the team and asks how everyone’s favorite garage defecator, Broncos, is doing. Instead of answering Nessa’s question, Mackenzie begins defending her little ankle biter’s behavior, reminding viewers that he lost his grandmother, that his mother had been dealing with depression, and that he had a traumatic birth. 

Mackenzie goes on to say it doesn’t matter how many peers Broncial chomps into or how many teachers’ asses he slaps, she’ll defend her baby to the end, because she’s just grateful that he’s alive to do those things. 

Mackenzie’s dad, Brad, joins the couple on the stage next, and Dr. Drew and Nessa comment on his noticeably happier appearance since the last time they saw him. Brad opens up about his wife’s passing, admitting that having Angie back is the only thing that would truly make him happy, even though he knows that can’t happen. Brad goes on to talk about his kids and grandkids and how much they’ve all helped him through such a terrible time. Brad also tells Mackenzie and Josh how proud he is of them and their marriage, despite what people say about them on social media. 

Next up on hour 73 of the reunion is Cheyenne, who is joined by Kayla of Teen Mom: Young and Pregnant. Dr. Drew informs viewers that Cheyenne’s role in this segment is to (hopefully) give Kayla some advice on forming successful co-parenting relationships, as Kayla and Izaiah’s dad, Stephan, can’t seem to get it together, and Kayla’s romantic relationship with Ariah’s dad, Luke, isn’t much better. 

As the season recap plays, we’re reminded of just how “unfortunate” Kayla’s life is compared to Cheyenne’s world of privilege, parties and people with odd names helping her raise her kids. (Lookin’ at you, R. Kyle.) When the camera cuts back to the studio, Kayla starts to get emotional when talking about her abortion, claiming she didn’t really process it “until after it was done.” 

Kayla goes on to reveal that she and Luke are still together, despite the cheating on both of their parts– a concept that Cheyenne cannot even begin to wrap her head around. 

Dr. Drew agrees with Cheyenne’s concern, telling Kayla he’s also worried because every time he sees Kayla, she’s doing worse than before. 

Kayla starts to get emotional again, and Cheyenne tells her she needs to learn her self worth.

Luke joins the group on stage next, admitting that he’s nervous to be here. (Clearly he’s never watched one of these reunions and doesn’t realize the softball questions that are about to be thrown his way.) 

Luke assures Dr. Drew and Nessa that his cheating days are behind him, and Kayla says she almost believes him. In turn, Luke admits to having trust issues as well, after Kayla slept with her ex-boyfriend, Ryan. Still, Kayla and Luke lie say they can regain each other’s trust, just as long as these MTV checks keep coming. Dr. Drew, on the other hand, tells Luke “the three women in the room” can’t get past the fact that he cheated on Kayla during her pregnancy. 

Dr. Drew tells Luke he “cannot even appreciate how deep that wound is,” calling it “a profound injury”– similar to the pain felt by anyone who sat through this entire season of Teen Mom OG’ and/or ‘Teen Mom: Young and Pregnant.’  

After taking a scholarly siesta on a couch in the greenroom, Amber is brought back onto the stage next, joined this time by Kiaya of ‘Teen Mom: Young and Pregnant.’ Throughout the recap of Kiaya’s season, we see Kiaya go “PortwoodAF” a few times, explaining why Amber has been invited to provide some insight during this segment. 

Kiaya explains that she was dealing with a lot of anger this season, with much of it occurring after the death of her father. When asked about counseling, Kiaya says it just isn’t for her. Amber interjects to bring up the ways in which therapy can be helpful, especially to those who have lost a parent, as Amber tells Kiaya she has as well. 

Dr. Drew tells Kiaya in order to receive help, she needs to first learn how to trust people– one of those people being her on-off girlfriend, Teazha, who promptly announces after her introduction that she and Kiaya are living together and “on,” even when they’re “off.” 

The topics then switches to Kiaya’s dad, whom Kiaya reveals died of a drug overdose. Kiaya says there are a lot of things she wishes she understood at the time, noting there were many things her dad was battling mentally and that “he was very misunderstood.” 

Dr. Drew uses Kiaya’s experience to relate back to Amber’s story, as Amber reminds everyone she once tried to commit suicide using fentanyl– the very drug that killed Kiaya’s dad. Amber attempts to comfort Kiaya by telling her there’s nothing she could’ve done to keep her dad from using drugs. Out of pretty much nowhere,, Dr. Drew then begins to ask Amber, Kiaya and Teazha about any child sexual abuse they may have experience as children, claiming it often causes individuals’ body and emotional boundaries to “get very blurry.”

Um….really Drew? You’re going to open that very traumatic and serious topic up during a five-minute filler segment!? Wtf???

The question causes Teazha to get very emotional, as she admits she “didn’t expect anyone to ask about that,” later revealing “it has happened more than once by multiple people– men and women.” Dr. Drew tells her “it’s time for more therapy” and that he’s “delighted” she opened up about her experience. 

Oh yes, how lovely you put this poor girl on the spot and unexpectedly sprung her childhood trauma on her on national TV. How delightful!

After the break, Nessa warns viewers that they’re getting the “scoop” on Teen Mom Family Reunion– a spin-off that no one asked for, and that only a few more than that will actually end up watching. 

Cheyenne tells Nessa she trauma bonded with Maci and Amber during filming, while Gary says he bonded with anyone not within a 20-foot radius of Amber. Cory takes a moment to hype up the “special appearance” by Farrah, who then introduces a clip of the hot mess to come. 

We can hardly wait… to watch these people embarrass themselves. 

That’s it for this season of ‘Teen Mom OG!’ To read The Ashley’s other ‘Teen Mom OG’ recaps, click here! 

(Photos: MTV)