Gather ’round kiddies; it’s time for another episode of Teen Mom 2! Things are about to get craaaazy (and by crazy I mean “barely watchable”). Hold on to your Lunchables!
We start up ‘er in the holler with Leah. She’s still reeling from not being able to take the “rill estate” exam last week. (Apparently we are still going to be blaming that ‘technical error’ for Leah not getting to take the test. Sure, Leah…. I believe you. There, now we’re both liars!)
Anyway, Jaylan calls Leah up and has some good news for her. Somehow, he’s made it so that he can move to Leah’s holler, instead of the holler three hours away. Apparently Jaylan’s planning to “do the Army” remotely, so he can work in whatever ding-dang holler he is banging someone in!
I think that’s nice.
Naturally, Leah’s super-excited to have Jaylan (and his ample man meat) within ticklin’ range.
Jaylan and Leah— who, remember are “taking things slow” in their relationship— also make plans to visit Jaylan’s family up ‘er in Charlotte for Christmas.
Over in California, Ashley’s salon is open for business and Bar is still keeping up with his court-ordered job at the cannabis club. In addition to joining the working class, Ashley and Bar have also decided to get on board with the vaccination, despite Ashley’s mom, Tea, being very much against it. Before breaking the news to Tea, Ashley meets up with her sister, Chris, to chat while sipping some “boozy smoothies.”
Ashley tells Chris how busy she’s been since the salon opened and Chris is thrilled for her sister and eager to come in and take full advantage of that family discount. (#IfItsForFreeItsForMe)
Ashley goes on to tell Chris that she’s made an appointment to get vaccinated. Chris tells Ashley she can be the “guinea pig” and depending on the outcome, she may reconsider getting vaccinated herself.
While Tea is very much against her daughter– or anyone, for that matter– getting vaccinated, Ashley feels like it’s none of her mom’s business.
Meanwhile in Delaware, they kick things off with Kail one-upping her previous best in the “Petty Betty” department by taking it upon herself to announce that Chris and some other broad are having a kid.
While Kail is fine with spreading the news all over The Instagram, she tells the producers she can’t discuss Chris’ latest crotch dropping.
Producer Anne-Marie knows the higher ups ain’t going to be happy with that “no comment” comment, so she heads to Kail’s podcast office to try to talk her into spilling the beans about who Chris sperminated.
“How’s it going with Creed and Lux…and Chris?” she casually mentions.
It doesn’t take much to get Kail to start yapping about Chris and his new baby. Kail says that she hopes that when Chris’ new kid comes he forgets all about Lux and Creed and doesn’t want “anything to do with them.”
W…T…F….
Kail says that, while she would want the boys to have a relationship with their half-brother, he’ll live an hour away and it’s tough to fit in that drive when you’ve got 1000 podcasts to host, three baby daddies to fight with, two producers to dodge and a lawsuit to file (and a partridge in a peartree?)
Kail then basically demands that Chris (and the chick he knocked up) move closer to her if he wants to see his kids. She then shuts down the conversation.
Over in Indiana, Jade and Cloughie return after visiting Sean at Case de Rehab in Texas. Jade is eager to get her new house renovated (i.e. get the triple deadbolts installed before Sean’s street youth friends— or, you know, Christy– come a’knockin’ for some of Sean’s leftover pharmaceutical “remedies.”)
Sean comes home in three weeks, so Jade only has a few weeks to hang the neon yellow “Live, Love, Laugh” signs she got off Wish.com.
Oh, and she still has to deal with “that kid” too…
Until Sean comes home, Jade is still allowed to speak to him weekly on the phone and guilt trip him about how the distance is “weighing on” Klowee. Right on schedule, Jade’s friend Chau pops up to serve as a contractually-obligated sounding board.
Jade tells Chau that when Sean comes home, she may have him stay in an Airbnb for a few days so they can ease back into everything, as she’s gotten used to being on her own. After all, it’s nice not to have to shovel a man-child over on the couch when you want to watch your “stories” after a long day of work and/or yelling at your kid.
Jade says she and Sean haven’t had a conversation about his post-‘hab living sitch, but she plans to figure things out when the time comes.
Later on, Jade and Chlohee swing by their new house and talk about which rooms will be used for what (and who). Clougheeey insists that her dad have a place to sleep at the new place, but Jade seems skeptical.
I mean…what could go wrong? It’s not like they’ve tried all this before.
Oh…wait…
Back in California, Bar is at home with Holly lecturing her on the importance of eating vegetables, while Ashley heads to a nearby parking lot to FaceTime her mom to let her know she’s getting vaccinated the following day.
“We’re not doing that s**t,” Tea responds, to which Ashley points out that she is no longer part of Tea’s “we” and is now part of her own “we” with her family…or something.
Ashley tells her mom that the alternative to getting vaccinated is “giving up on my own salon.” Tea explains that for her, vaccines are an “issue with God,” and she doesn’t support any sort of vaccinations, COVID or otherwise.
Ashley tells her mom that from a medical standpoint, vaccines “are proven to work.” Tea says she’s “saddened” by Ashley’s decision, but Ashley isn’t letting it change her mind.
Later we see Ashley and her friend head to the pharmacy to meet Bar so they can get vaccinated together.
After leaving the pharmacy, Ashley tells her friend she feels “like part of the elite.”
Back in Delaware, Kail lets Creed run wild through Lux’s basketball practice (as you do), while we actually get to see a little bit of Chris this episode. He has his toasty friend Bread over for a chit-chat, confirming that he did, indeed, knock another chick up.
Chris says that he and his new spawn’s mom weren’t in a relationship, but that they knew each other for a while before they did the condom-less horizontal mambo. He says that this time is easier, since the baby mama lets him participate in the preparation for the new baby, unlike someone.
Bread says that anything will be easier than the s**tshow he has going on with Kail. He predicts it will be “more healthier.”
Chris promises to let Creed and Lux spend time with his new baby.
Later, Chris posts a photo of a baby head, so we can assume his latest offspring has shot out of his second baby mama’s Spawn Chute.
Well, that’s a line you don’t get to write very often. Actually, scratch that…this is ‘Teen Mom 2,’ so that is something The Ashley gets to write quite frequently.
We get to hear some mumblings from Chris’ podcast, where he talks about how “dope” it is to have three kids by two baby mamas.
Meanwhile, Kail is in Atlanta, feeding her podcast co-host Lindsie cookies…or something. Shockingly, Producer Anne Marie doesn’t want to film the full segment about Kail and Lindsie shoving cookie dough into their food chutes, so she brings up the topic of the birth of Chris’ baby.
Kail immediately shoots the topic down, only confirming that “it” had been born.
Kail then throws out the legal defense, saying her lawyer confirmed to her that she can’t open her trap on TV about Chris’ kid.
“That’s in writing if you want to read it!” Kail shoots back.
Meanwhile, Leah’s shucked the girlseseses and is off to Georgia to help Jaylan pack up his stuff and move it on over to The WV. Leah tells us that she’s not going to be moving Jaylan into her house (I mean, not yet…give it a month or two more), so he’s renting a place near her.
Later, she collects all of the girlseseses and brings them over to Jaylan’s rental home. The girlseses aren’t exactly thrilled, but, hey, at least they don’t have to have this on-camera conversation at a random park for once.
Jaylan has already hung up a “family” portrait that he, Leah and the girlseseses have taken.
Nope, nothing creepy about that…or the fact that they took “family” photos after just a few months…Nope, nothing at all…
Leah presents Jaylan with a housewarming gift…which is just a big portrait of…himself.
You guys… I can not…
Jaylan takes them into the “working” room, where we see even more portraits of Jaylan…and Leah and the girlseses.
They make all of the plans– to celebrate the upcoming twinseseses’ birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, everything! (Somewhere deep in the holler, Mama Dawn just threw her cast iron skillet full of vittles at the wall after hearing this.)
Later, they celebrate the twinseseseses’ birthday at a fancy restaurant—one that doesn’t even get their meat supply from whatever dies out on the highway the night before! They invite Victoria and her litter to join in on the ritzy cuisine. There’s also a bunch of randos there who are just happy to be feedin’ on something that didn’t come from the gas station.
Of course, Jaylan decides he needs to make some big ol’ toast, proclaiming himself to be “part of the family.” Victoria hilariously shuts him down, telling him, “Not yet!”
Jaylan basically makes the speech about himself, but does mention “happy birthday to the twins” at some point. Ali and Aleah look over it.
Victoria asks the girlseseses how they feel about Jaylan being in the picture. They both grunt out a one-word answer, and Victoria teases them for being all “teenage” and having an attitude.
Um…I think they’re just trying not to say anything rude about the annoying, robot dude their mom’s about to be shackin’ up with….
The next day, Leah and her litter drive to Jaylan’s family’s home in North Carolina. They meet Jaylan’s twin sister, his dad, and some other family members.
“Everybody looks like Jaylan!” Addie exclaims awkwardly.
Jaylan again launches into a speech, and Ali is not having it. Every time this dude opens his mouth, Ali looks like she’d like to throw Mama Dawn’s skillet at him.
Jaylan later asks his dad and sister (on-camera, naturally) if they like Leah. While it would have been hilarious if they said no (and/or asked why her kid is always mad-dogging Jaylan) they confirm that she’s “solid.”
Jaylan robotically thanks them for their support. He then calls Ali a grinch, and she denies being Grinchy; she says she simply tells the truth and that no one wants to hear the truth. (Perhaps her “truth” was that it’s weird to be playing “happy family” with a dude your mom met a few months ago?)
That’s all for this episode. To read The Ashley’s previous ‘Teen Mom 2’ recap, click here!
P.S. The Ashley just realized that she skipped Briana‘s segment. She will force herself to listen to hours of Luis‘ DJ remixes as punishment.
(Photos: MTV)
40 Responses
I almost want a show of all this but from the kids’ perspective (or alternatively, the kids do audio commentary of episodes). Kids are observant, and most of the Teen Mom’s kids are old enough to form their own personal thoughts and feelings about what’s going on and speak out about them.
Leah’s bf probably put the house in only his name due to Leah’s credit, remember earlier episodes she had huge spending problems and with all the medical bills I can’t imagine her having good credit. Putting it in his name only would be the only option and if he credit is good he would get a better rate..and rates are high right now. Plus they aren’t married..so that could explain that, but they are moving way too fast.
She could still be in the title to the house even if she’s not on the mortgage/financing. That’s what we did—my husband is on the mortgage because he’s the one who has a job but I’m a the title with him because it’s our house.
I no longer watch this trainwreck…but I LIVE for The Ashley’s recaps…Oh the snark, the accents, the ding-dang holla’, the Cloughie/Klowie/?? running joke. Oh man The Ashley you make this show good. The recaps would increase the ratings if we could do them live.
I love how Kail feels she is so relevant and in charge. The demands this narcissist makes of the baby daddies. At this point any idjit who mates with her unsheathed deserves what he gets (then again, the poor child). I give her kudos for making somehing of her life after a rough childhood and teen pregnancy…then turned into such an unlikeable person.
Leah moving too fast with New Guy, the girlses are getting too old for you to keep setting this poor example.
The Coven still in full swing. Bar and Bride movin’ on up! Jade, man I’m rooting for her but just don’t know.
Hopefully Leah gets her real estate license or otherwise what’s she going to do when the show is over? She hasn’t set a good example for her “girlses” that u need a man to be happy. I hope this goes well for her, but Leah is never happy without a man, and it looks like its affecting her kids. Kail is just plain negative and miserable! I swear all her friends must only like her for her $ because unless you’re the same way, nobody likes being around that crap! I hope Jade will put her foot down with loser Sean and just focus on her business and the same for Ashley. Ashley has grown on me! She’s very level headed and focused on what she needs to take care of her daughter. I don’t think she and Bar will last (or Jade and Sean), but if they can co-parent together well, then good for them!
Any one else notice that all of Leah’s segments are about her boyfriend? We only get to hear about the twins when they’re with Corey and hear nothing about Addy.
I wonder if Addy being MIA has anything to do with Jeremy having an opinion about her being on TV. inneresting
Literally the only reason I don’t want this show canceled is because these recaps feed my soul! I don’t even watch the show anymore but these recaps ALWAYS make me laugh!
I agree! And I love the screen name!
Where did Leah and Jaylan meet?
I don’t think Jaylan is with Leah for the fame. He had a strong career and was very accomplished before meeting her. Maybe they are truly in love and he wants to start a family but they are moving too fast, especially if he’s already hanging up “family pictures” at his place. That’s odd. I wonder what Corey and Jeremy think about that
Love your recaps SO much! I don’t watch anymore but keep up with the show from your recaps. I can’t believe Ali said she tells the truth but no one listens. That says ALOT! I see a tell-all book by Ali in the future!
Right. I caught that. No one wants her opinion bc it doesn’t mesh with Leah’s fantasy.
Between her and Leah Shirley, that’s 2 well aware little girls who should make fine adults.
Ali and Leah Shirley are both savage bad-ass kids and call it as they see it. I’ll add Stella to that list too – she’s young, but already seems to have her mind made up that her dad is a low-life POS. Granted Stella probably hears that all the time from the coven.
Ashley’s mom is a goose lol
Leah and Jaylan segments are shameless and cringe. I ffwd thru all of Leahs segments.
Ppl: vaccines aren’t biblical.
Well neither are smart phones and yet here we are
No they’re not biblical but I can understand Tea’s hesitation, just because someone says “This is the ingredients in it” it’s not set in stone that those things are ALL that’s in it.
Just like food, I’ve seen people consume food that didn’t list anything they were allergic to but yet they still had a reaction so obviously something wasn’t listed that should have been.
They’re body…they’re choice, either get it or not. It’s up to the person, but don’t be a butt about someone else’s choice and that’s ALL “Pastor” Tea knows how to do.
And I use the term “pastor” VERY loosely!! Pastor aren’t supposed to be hypocritical BUTTHOLES!!!!
You forgot Brianna’s segment?? How did you know it was my Birthday Ashley??
BEST. GIFT. EVER.
I am SOOOOOO THRILLED to see that Ashley is more bright than her Mother, Tea, regarding getting, and being, vaccinated.
It’s GREAT Ashley is a role model for others, and is educated, and KNOWS SCIENCE WORKS!
You’d THINK Tea would remember Polio, from her youth, and what a nightmare IT WAS, BEFORE a vaccine was created to, thankfully, eradicate IT.
I HATE that Tea perpetuates the ignorance, fear and total stupidity so many people have toward vaccines.
She does SO MUCH DAMAGE with this mindset. It shows how uneducated SHE is. “I’ll leave it in God’s hands.” WHAT a fool!
Let’s hope “your God” is there, when you’re being intubated, as you take up a hospital bed from people more deserving of that bed.
I am a FIRM BELIEVER that, the educated, responsible, caring people, (and the children, who have NO CHOICE in the matter,) are THE ONLY ONES who DESERVE a hospital bed, INSIDE of our hospitals.
IMO, ALL of the anti-vaxers belong in the parking lots.
IT IS SO SAD Our World is full of so many selfish people, who don’t care enough for those of us who are immunocompromised.
THEY’RE THE REASON this Pandemic isn’t in our rearview mirror.
Each and every one of us will die one day.
Some how. Some way.
It’s inevitable.
And 99/10 it is not up to us.
Calm down
99/10? WTF does that mean?
Someone needs to WAKE UP! Get that person some caffeine, or something.
You’re too calm, (and, therfore, part of the problem.)
OVER A MILLION people have died, NEEDLESSLY.
At THE VERY LEAST, you should be grateful you aren’t immunocompromised and kept prisoner by idiots who don’t care about anyone, but, THEMSELVES. That’s what is called, “selfish.”
Last I knew, too, this was the United States Of America, where everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
> Last I knew, too, this was the United States Of America, where everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Yeah and that was mine.
Actually mine was A FACT.
I think I’ll let you sound crazy for me. Thanks.
I am a nurse, who works in the Intensive Care Unit. I am exhausted by this Pandemic.
I have had to intubate many people as they screamed obscenities at me, about this pandemic not being real, etc., right up to the very end of their lives.
I couldn’t agree more with the entry about COVID-19, (and it’s many mutations) and how serious it is, and I thank you for your help with making people more aware of its seriousness.
I am so tired.
Wow.
Liar.
How many accts do you have here?
Same avatar as the last 2 comments means same email address
I agree that it’s great Ashley has not let her mother’s opinion sway hers. Vaccination should be a person choice. But to say that only vaccinated people and children deserve hospital beds is just as bad as an anti-vaxxer saying your arm will fall off. No one should be coerced into making a medical decision. Also not everyone who isn’t vaccinated is an “anti-vaxxer”. I may be the odd one out but I believe it should always be a choice and people shouldn’t be hating on each other for their choice. I understand how science works and the importance of herd immunity. But I also understand that perfecting a vaccine takes time and there are other ways to protect yourself and others. I personally will be waiting quite awhile before deciding to get it or not and in the mean time I will take other precautions. Not being vaccinated doesn’t mean people are selfish. My own mother is high risk and likely wouldn’t survive if she got covid because of her medical conditions. Before I visit her me and my kids quarantine to protect her. It’s sad how divided people are on topics like this. It doesn’t do anyone any good to be so hateful and unwilling to understand other people’s opinions.
1.) If you do your research, you would find, there is no such thing as, “Herd Immunity.”
2.) It would be a “Choice,” if it didn’t affect every other person on this Planet.
If one makes this so-called, “Choice,” and “Chooses” to not get vaccinated, the virus becomes what is called, “endemic.”
“Endemic” means, we “have to live with it for the rest of our lives,” like the AIDS Virus.
A “Choice” does not affect other people. It would be fine, if you were making a choice for just yourself, but, you’re not.
It baffles my mind, some people would “choose” to make a virus endemic, and a severe problem for healthcare professionals, the immunocompromised and every other person who can, and will, be affected by COVID-19 (et al.,) and “Long COVID,” when all they have to do, is get a shot to save all of Humanity.
If that is not “selfishness,” what would you call it? (Rhetorical question, as it’s like talking to a wall…a cement tombstone wall.)
I work in healthcare and I am tired of the anti vaxers. Just stop. I be no one thinks about that fast food they are throwing down their gullet and do not have a clue as to what is in it.
We have been getting vaccines for years.
If someone told people there was a cancer vaccine, they would be lined up to take it.
If someone told them only the elite were eligible for the COVID vaccine, all hell would break loose.
This country is absolutely ass backwards in its thinking at times.
Since you’re a nurse, then you’d know that vaccinated can still get, spread and die from Corona and that the efficacy of the shot is not long term.
Its a troll acct.
They’ve used 3 different names on this thread and are replying to themselves in others.
Nurse Jackie is Girls4Girls
I agree 100% Jade!!!
I’m not vaccinated and don’t consider myself an anti-vaxxer, if a person wants to get unknown chemicals shot into their body that their choice and I’m not selfish, I’ve gone very few places since CHINA started this shit and has made us suffer for 3 fucking years!!! And when I do go places, I mask up, I use hand sanitizer before and after I do go somewhere and I social distance.
IMO, this NURSEJACKIE/GIRLS4GIRLS/whatever the fuck her other names needs to shut her dammed ignorant ass mouth because there are other way to protect yourself other than a damned shot!!!
So Ashley did not actually want to get vaccinated. She just wanted to keep her job. That is called coercion and Nuremberg had a thing or two to say about i.
Ali ???
She’s not wrong though, Leah and Joyland are moving WAY too fast. I get it is hard being 8 hours away but the photoshoots and narcissism are a bit much.
I can not imagine the discomfort of being a teenage girl and always having to sleep in the same house as my mom’s boyfriends. I really bet they wish they could spend time with just their mom…
This will be like the 4th man Leah has lived with since the twins were born. Corey, Jeremy, the personal trainer she tried to hide, and now this guy. I feel bad for her kids. They are probably happy it’s just them with their mom and now their lives will change…again. He will knock Leah up as soon as possible to secure his finances with her fame. She really doesnt need anymore kids considering all that’s happened with her first 3 and how much she struggled. She’s always been fragile and she’s finally stable but she can’t stop moving random men in the house. He also “bought them a house” without Leah knowing about it? Wha? Whole thing is off and a Recipe for distaster.
There was also that guy Jason, but I don’t think he lived with them. The girlses also didn’t seem too fond of him. And a few years where she was still hooking up with Jeremy, giving false hope to Addie that they would get back together. This Jaylan guy seems to be way over the top, though. Now the girlses are living with a stranger and they’re probably not going to be thrilled when a new half-sibling arrives.
It is a lot for the girlses to go through and agreed this is looking like it could end in disaster. At least the twinses have Corey and his stable family. Aunt Victoria sets an even worse example for the girlses and her own kids. Some of that is Mama Dawn’s fault. So many of the kids from the show have dealt with similar instability because their moms put dick before their kids – particularly Kail, Janelle, and Amber.
He’s educated with a good job and Leah’s well not educated, so how do we know she won’t get prego to insure for her future? I agree she always moves way too fast. I think if she gets prego, then Ali and Aleah will end up moving in with Corey full time!
Really feels like Jaylan is only in it fir the publicity and the girls aren’t fooled. Somehow managing to get a choice for remote work to be close to someone after a few months is another key indicator.
Ali’s BS meter seems to be up with Jaylan – she’s clearly brighter than her mom. Or Ali has had enough of yet another man in her mom’s life… She probably doesn’t want her mom to catch up with Aunt Victoria on the baby daddy count.