It’s time for another episode of Teen Mom: The Next Chapter. On this episode, we get a little bit of everything: a rowdy granny, a proposal and even a barbecue restaurant brawl!

Hot dog!

We kick things off in Costa Rica, aka the land of fertile rafting instructors, where Leah and Jaylan are celebrating the one year anniversary of the first time Leah paid for them to go on vacation when Jaylan asked Leah to be his girlfriend/photoshoot partner. Leah and Jaylan enter the treehouse they’re staying in and immediately jump into the pool, fully clothed. #DoItForTheGram 

The following day, Leah–- dressed in a look best described as “window-drapery chic”-– and Jay sit down for an authentic Costa Rican breakfast to talk about their equally authentic relationship and how they plan to spend their vacation. 

Jaylan tells Leah he has a yoga instructor coming to the treehouse later because he knows how much Leah loves to get her namaste on. (I know when I think of someone who is calm and put together, Leah Messer Simms Calvert Messer Almost-Mobley always comes to mind!)

Leah tells Jaylan he may be in over his head as a yoga-newbie, but we’re confident that the Jaybot 3000 packed plenty of WD-40 with him to keep all of his robot gears in proper working order. Leah tells Jaylan she loves everything about him. The two mark the touching conversation with a super romantic high-five. 

When the yoga instructor arrives to the treehouse, she’s weirdly excited to learn that Jaylan has never done yoga before, and just as excited to make him attempt to do all the same poses as Leah. 

Fortunately, viewers are only forced to watch a few moments of this snooze-fest activity, which Leah and Jaylan finished up with another high-five.

Down in Florida, Briana is planning Nova’s upcoming birthday party and simultaneously probing the birthday girl about whether or not her father, Devoin, will be attending the festivities. Nova, much like ourselves during this scene, gives nearly zero f’s about her mom’s production-provided questions, and gives Briana nothing during this conversation, which we low-key appreciate. 

Briana tells The Gals SHE decided to invite Devoin “even though he hasn’t really been coming around.” (Of course, just two seconds before this, Nova confirmed that she invited her dad.) 

Briana also mentions that Devoin recently posted some troubling things online. In a screenshot of Devoin’s post, we learn that he is a gambling addict and “screaming for help.” (Here’s an update on that situation.) 

Because this show misses not one opportunity to force feed us “friendships” between the cast, Briana FaceTimes Maci to talk about baby daddy addiction drama and whatnot.

Briana tells Maci that Devoin allegedly lost more than $100,000 while gambling. Briana says she encouraged Devoin to get the help he needs, which may be why he hasn’t been around lately.

Maci says it’s important for kids to know their moms didn’t keep their dads away from them, rather their dads preferred to do so on their own. Or something…I don’t know. The only thing I took away from this scene is WHERE THE HELL DID DEVOIN GET $100,000?!

Briana adds that it’s important for her kids to have a relationship with their dads or they’ll end up with the same daddy issues she has herself. In order to prevent one of her kids from hooking up with dudes in club bathrooms and ending up on a horrible MTV show in 10 years, Bri decides she needs to meet with Devoin to clear the air.

When we check in with Cheyenne this episode, she’s still planning her damn wedding. We are forced to sit through a montage of wedding prep activities that’s about as boring as Cheyenne’s voice. 

Cheyenne and her mom and sister sit down to talk about The Wedding of the Century and all of the things left to do before the big day arrives. They still need to get Zach’s ring (and, you know, bulletproof vests for the bridal party in case one of the groom’s “friends” bring more than “best wishes” to the wedding.) 

Chey’s sister, R. U Gonna Get Me A Ring Too?, offers to call her jewelry guy pal but Cheyenne declines, most likely because she doesn’t want to buy Zach’s ring from a random “jeweler” who sells gold bands out of the back of his Ford Focus. 

Cheyenne says she has no idea what she wants Zach’s ring to look like, but she knows Zach has his sights set on something big and shiny. 

“He’s like, ‘I want a ring with some jewels on it,’” Cheyenne says.

Over in Indiana, Jade is at work talking to her BFF/forever plus one Chau about Clowee’s upcoming birthday dinner. 

Chau asks Jade if she plans to invite her mom Christy, and Jade says she isn’t sure if Christy is worthy of an invite due to Christy’s propensity to be, well…Christy. (Surely Jade is worrying about Christy pocketing a full table setting, the salt and pepper shakers and the contents of the entire dessert tray, even before the party’s appetizers are served.)

Viewers are then treated to a highlight reel of Jade’s mom’s finest moments from over the years. (Shoutout to the editor whose job it was to sift through hours and hours of Christy’s greatest hits…you’re a real one!) 

Jade tells Chau she’s trying her hand at “gentle daughtering” in an effort to keep her mom and her mom’s chaotic energy at bay. On the bright side, Jade says everyone– including Christy, presumably– has stopped doing drugs lately.

I think that’s nice…

Later on, Jade tells the cameras she does want to invite her parents to Kloughey’s 5th birthday celebration, but she needs to see how Christy acts in public so she decides to take Christy out to a test-run dinner before Clo-E’s birthday meal.

Christy reveals that she has some news to share.  Jade jokingly guesses that Christy is knocked up. 

After confirming that she isn’t knocked up, Christy gives Jade an update on her job situation, which recently required a background check. Despite her whole ass rap sheet, Christy informs Jade that there’s still some poor schmuck willing to give her a job.  

That’s right, kids: CHRISTY IS EMPLOYED! What’s next, David Eason getting a job!??!?

Once Jade finds out that Christy is part of the work force, she officially invites her to Cloughie’s birthday dinner and Christy says she’ll be there.

Back in Florida, Briana shows up at the coffee shop where she’s supposed to be meeting Devoin. However, she gets a text from him letting her know he had to work and can’t make it. (Of course he has to work— he just lost $100k. He doesn’t have time to grab iced coffees and chit-chat with his baby mama for the MTV cameras!)

Once she’s back in the car, Briana “calls” Maci– aka records a message onto her phone– and tells her the Devoin meetup was a bust. Briana tells The Gals she’ll let them know what happens next, and we’re sure they’ll be sitting by their phones with bated breath. 

A few days later is the day of Nova’s birthday party. Devoin shows up, along with Stella’s sometimes-father, Luis. It’s a birthday miracle, folks! (Well…it’s either that or Luis heard that there would be free cake and ice cream at the skating rink so he went, hoping to snag some funfetti treats and a possible job DJing for the skaters.) 

During the party, Devoin steps outside to chat with Roxanne, who does some mild grilling on Devoin’s recent whereabouts. Before the conversation gets too heavy–- and before Roxanne can be tempted to chuck a rollerskate at Devoin’s head— they go back inside. Roxanne declares “something’s off.” She knows a degenerate making poor life decisions when she sees one!

Next, Bri and Roxy go outside to talk (seriously, who is watching all of these damn kids inside?) Briana says that she is frustrated because Devoin has been gambling, and then  “crying about it on social media.” Roxanne points out that none of the $100,000 Devoin claims to have spent at the casino went to Nova, yet Devoin shows up to her party “wearing Gucci shorts and looking fabulous.” 

Roxanne suggests Briana address what’s going on with Devoin, but Briana is hesitant to do so, because she thinks her concerns will fall on blinged-out deaf ears. Roxanne decides she should talk to Devoin’s mom about everything and Briana says she’s onboard with making it a family discussion.

Jesus God Leah…this is gonna be good…

Back in Costa Rica, Jaylan announces that he has a surprise for Leah. He proceeds to pull out an elaborate envelope with documents enclosed confirming that he has added Leah’s name to their house deed. Jaylan tells Leah the two of them are doing everything together from now on– not just photoshoots– and Leah couldn’t be more excited about “the bond” she and Jaylan have. 

After watching the sunset, Jaylan takes Leah for the world’s shortest walk and asks that she close her eyes. (Umm, too late pal…she already saw your ill-fitting Gucci pants.) Jaylan ultimately pops the question amidst a soundtrack of weird ass moans and groans, courtesy of Leah.  

Leah accepts Jaylan’s proposal and after making their way back to the treehouse, the two of them call up the girlseses to reveal the big news. The girlseses seem mildly pumped about their mom’s engagement, but if you ask us, Addie served the best congratulations of all. She informs her mother that she’s about to “be a bride for the third time.” 

I swear, Addie Calvert is one of us, guys!

Over in California, Cheyenne heads to a jeweler where she and Zach’s friend DJ browse some bling with a sweatshirt-wearing jeweler named Sam.

While looking at trays of blinged-out bands, Cheyenne sends Sweatshirt Sam to the back to dig for more rose gold options. While Sam is away, Cheyenne probes DJ for some hints on exactly what Zach wants in a ring, and DJ totally delivers.   

Sam returns with more gaudy-as-hell ring options for Cheyenne to feign excitement over, and Cheyenne ultimately settles on one that she believes will meet all of Zach’s tacky needs.

Back in Indiana, Khloweie’s birthday has arrived and everyone is filing into some sort of pub-adjacent establishment to celebrate. Christy and Cory (Jade’s dad) are the last to arrive, but Christy is quick to make their presence known when she shout-greets everyone from across the table, sits down and demands to see a drink menu. 

Jade isn’t pleased with her mom’s insistence on knocking a few back at her granddaughter’s birthday dinner, and she reminds Christy that the adult bevies “aren’t free.” Christy, a proud member of the workforce for a matter of days now, tells Jade she has funds to pay for her own drinks, thank you very much.

Jade insists that her mom doesn’t need to drink. Christy argues otherwise and shouts, “I’m grown!” from across the table. 

After Jade drops the drinking discussion, Christy brings up Jade and Sean’s wedding venue and the fact that she was unable to go with them to see the place because she was busy being a #BossBabe. Jade tells her mom that she and Sean already put a deposit down, and when Christy asks for details, Sean asks that Jade “not give too many details away yet.”

Jade tells everyone the event will not “be just another wedding,” but rather “an experience.”

JESUS GOD LEAH. I can not wait to “experience” whatever tacky-as-hell festivities these two chuckleheads come up with…if they make it to the altar this time, that is. 

Christy predicts the event will be a carnival.

Christy then insists that Jade make her nephew— a child apparently named “Bug”— the ring bearer.

What the…?

Jade ultimately snaps at Christy and tells her to “chill the f**k out.” Christy is pissed about being singled out by Jade, who in response, tells the table she’s annoyed and wants to go home. Before leaving, Jade thanks everyone (even Christy) for showing up to celebrate Clowy. 

Oh wow, I totally forgot this dinner was about the kid. I think everyone else did too.

Back at their house, Jade and Sean agree that the birthday dinner went as well as it could have gone considering who was in attendance. She also says that despite Christy being loud and opinionated, she accepts her for who she is.

When we check back in with Briana, she and Roxanne and Brittany head to Big John’s Rockin’ BBQ By The Lake. (That’s really the name of the place, even though it totally sounds like something The Ashley would make up.) Devoin’s mom, Charita, and sister, Verdis, are already waiting inside and the two families greet each other cordially before getting into the Devoin of it all. 

The conversation kicks off with Charita claiming that Devoin is upset about Briana switching things up last minute when he has plans with Nova. Roxanne says that isn’t true and that herself, Briana and Brittany have “been guiding, holding his hand, and working with him to do the right thing” for years. (I’ll give them this one; say what you want about the DeJesus Coven, but they’ve always gone above and beyond to try to help Bri’s assorted of baby daddies.) 

Charita says the DeJesus crew made things “really, really tough” for their family in the beginning, to which Briana notes that she and Devoin were young and could’ve handled things better. 

Briana basically tells Charita she has been a no-show for most of Nova’s life. Charita says she isn’t in the “ass kissing business” and doesn’t appreciate being called a bad grandmother. 

Briana says Nova is in therapy and her therapist suggested everyone-– including Nova-– sit down to have a conversation, but Nova is “terrified” to do so because she doesn’t want to hurt her dad’s feelings. Briana tells Charita she’s already trying to right her wrongs with Nova and doesn’t appreciate Charita insinuating that she’s still making the same mistakes. 

While choking back tears, Briana gets up from the table, throws on her Gucci crossbody and tells the group she’s leaving because she’s “stressed” and didn’t want the conversation to go this way. Charita tells Briana to take accountability and suggests she seek counseling.

Briana tells Charita she needs to admit what Devoin has done. As the screaming intensifies, Charita yells to Briana across the table, “You are going to respect me, bitch!” It’s a whole ass mess, just as anyone with a pulse could’ve predicted. I’m actually just surprised that Roxy kept her cool and didn’t hurl a Hush Puppy at Charita while Brittany snuck up from behind and pulled her hair!

Briana then pulls out her signature response to anyone who makes her mad. She requests that Devoin’s mother “suck her ****” (as you do) and then storms off.

Following the chaotic showdown at Big John’s Rockin’ BBQ By The Lake, Briana is crying, Roxanne is crying, Brittany is wondering why they didn’t get their lunches to go, and collectively, the DeJesus family is frustrated and still concerned about what’s going on with Devoin and how it will impact his relationship with Nova. 

Back in Costa Rica, Leah and Jaylan have a celebratory dinner in the treehouse. Upon sitting down at the table, Leah is eager to find out “who all helped” Jay pull off the proposal. Jaylan says everyone helped make the moment special, but he made a point to speak to Corey about his plan, as well as Leah’s stepdad, Lee.

Jaylan says he asked Lee for his blessing to propose, and Leah is clearly bothered by this, claiming the only people Jaylan would’ve needed permission from were her girlseseseses. 

Jaylan says he didn’t feel obligated to speak to Lee due to tradition, rather he just wanted to be respectful. Leah isn’t pleased with this explanation and tells Jaylan he’s “the man” and Lee isn’t the one who controls what Leah does. Furthermore, her relationship with her mom “is kind of important” so if he was going to ask any parental figure of Leah’s for their blessing, it should’ve been Leah’s mom, not her stepdad. 

Jaylan launches into a lecture on what tradition is and isn’t, insisting that Leah is “taking too much away from what this is.”  The interaction gets a bit tense, with Jaylan scrambling in his robot head to figure out what caused this malfunction. What a beep boop beep bad way to end the day. 

That’s all for this episode of ‘Teen Mom: The Next Chapter!’ Click here to read more of The Ashley’s recaps!

(Photos: MTV)