On this episode of Teen Mom: The Next Chapter, we find one baby daddy arrested, one baby daddy on probation and one baby daddy in therapy!

So…basically, it’s business as usual for a ‘Teen Mom’ episode. All we need is someone peeing into Tupperware and maybe an opportunity for Amber to scream “I’M DONE!” and we’d be all set! 

We kick things off in Michigan, at the Octagon ‘o’ Triggers the Baltierra’s new MTV mansion (which The Ashley hasn’t come up with a name for yet). Tyler‘s busy packing up a suitcase full of T-shirts with the sleeves cut off and Axe Body Spray because he’s heading off to California to get more ketamine therapy.

Catelynn says that getting that sweet Special K pumped into his veins is really helping Tyler process all the trauma he picked up having Butch as his dad, and a variety of incompetent adults taking care of him.

Cate– who is legit wearing a T-shirt that says “Therapy Is Cool”—gets to go all the way to California to join Tyler after he has a few days of solo Special K sessions. (Because apparently a Zoom call wouldn’t suffice?) Tyler says he’s excited to talk about all of the crappy stuff from his past while under the influence.

Next we go down to that ding-damn holler to check in with Leah. Last episode, Leah spoke to her straight-from-the-Heehaw-cornfield father, Gary, and he made some offensive comments about California gay people. Leah’s still mad about what her hillbilly dad said, and it’s derailed her plans to try to get him into The ‘Hab.

Leah meets up with her friend Shelayne at a bookstore. Leah tells Shelayne that she needs to purchase books because she is leading a “read along” at Addie’s school.

Leah says that she might as well buy the whole ding-dang pile of books and let Addie decide which ones she wants her mother to read to her and the rest of her “not well” school.

(Do we think Leah is only being asked to read because she’s famous? I picture the principal’s introduction of Leah going something like this: “OK kids, next we have a lil’ lady best known for gettin’ knocked up on prom night and parlaying it into a decades-long career! Y’all know her as ‘Teen Mom’ Leah Messer! Get your read on, girl!”)

Leah tells Shelayne that she’s mortified that her father said such embarrassing things about the LGBTQ community on camera. What’s worse is that backwoods bumpkin actually has no idea why Leah’s mad about him making some off-color jokes about “them gays.” She shows Shelayne their latest texts.

Leah says she’s an “ally” to the LGBTQ community, therefore she needs to “stand up” [in her power] and support them…preferably on-camera and in a way that can be featured on the show so she can pay them dern taxes she owes! 

Leah suggests the whole lot of them— Shelayne, the girlseseseseses, everyone— should go march in the upcoming Holler Pride Parade! Shelayne agrees.

Next we hop over to Tennessee, where an assortment of mulleted youths are playing Candy Land. However, things aren’t all fun ‘n’ games at Maci’s MTV mansion. She tells us that Ryan was court-ordered to go to rehab FOR 30 WHOLE DAYS! 

Maci says it will be tough on Bentley, because he and Ryan currently have the best relationship they’ve ever had.

Even though Ryan was only sentenced to 30 days, Ry is feeling, um, “lonely” once he has been in The ‘Hab for two weeks. He decides he’s all ding-damn cured and such, and is heading back to Tennessee and leaving his rehab early. Maci doesn’t agree with Ryan’s decision to leave, particularly because it wasn’t OK’d by the judge. Maci is doing her best to put a positive spin on Ryan ditching out on rehab, telling Taylor, “hey, at least Ryan didn’t lie to us this time.” 

Um….yay?

We then get to see a throwback clip of Ryan talking about how brutal heroin is, and how it can kill you without you even knowing. We see him saying that he doesn’t want to go back down that road.

That’s when the ominous music starts playing, so we know some real s**t is about to go down. 

It’s now four days after Ryan ditched out of rehab, and we hear police sirens. That’s when they start hitting us with news headlines, informing us that Ryan had overdosed in his truck and has been arrested. (You can read about that incident here.) 

We head to Maci’s MTV Mansion, where she tells us how scared she was when she found out that Ryan had overdosed. (She says it was the “first time” she was “genuinely scared” for Ryan, so apparently she never watched that episode where he was driving like a high bat-out-of-hell on the way to his first wedding?) 

She then tells us how upset and angry Bentley was when she told him about Ryan leaving rehab and overdosing.

We head over to Florida next, where we see what Briana is up to. She’s talking to the “gals” about her and Devoin’s situation. (Now that she’s mad at him again and not trying to ride his giggle stick, Bri is back to calling him Dev-aaaughn, btw.) She told Devoin what she expects of him as a dad, and he agreed to try to be that guy.

To Briana’s surprise, the next day Devoin actually picks both girls up from school. He even puts on a pot of ramen!

Over in Las Vegas, Ashley tells viewers Bar was finally able to get his community service papers signed and he’s now back in California to attend his previously rescheduled court date. Ashley is hoping Bar will get off with probation so she’s not obligated to visit him behind bars over his failure to get a piece of paper signed on time. 

I mean, won’t all the other jailbirds laugh at Bar if they find out the reason he’s in the slammer is that he didn’t turn in his homework on time? The eyebrow tattoo can only provide you so much street cred, my dude.

Bar calls Ashley after exiting the courthouse and tells her the judge gave him 24 months probation and if all goes well, he’ll be allowed to go back to Nevada while fulfilling the time. 

Unfortunately, Bar’s probation officer tells him his probation is officially active and he cannot leave the state of California for more than two days at a time. When he calls Ashley to give her the news, she is still painting one of her walls to look like a cow.

Jesus God Leah, wasn’t she doing this like four episodes ago? This project is slower than Maci’s ex Kyle. (It’s a joke– don’t come at me!) 

Because Ashley has been putting up with Bar’s legal crap and dumb decisions for a long time, she’s not surprised to hear that, basically, Bar will have to take a furlough from his family and their cow-themed abode. Bar tells Ashley his next move is to head to his sister’s house to see if he can hit her up for free room and board for the next couple of years.   

Ashley will remain in Las Vegas while Bar (isn’t it funny how his name just works?) is on probation in California. Bar assures Ashley he will “be there as much as he can” (aka a maximum of two days at a time). Ashley says she knew this was a possibility–- given that she legit married a man who was wearing a “Shoot Loops” T-shirt when he was arrested on gun charges–– but admits it’s “just a lot.”

On the plus side, the cow mural will probably be completed by the time Bar stumbles home in a few years, so there’s that! #PositiveThinking

Back in the holler, Leah approaches the twinseseseses with the idea of them attending the Pride Parade. She tells them what her dad said about gay people, and the twinseseses agree that Grandaddy Homophobe needs to stay far, far away from them— and Leah’s MTV paycheck. She asks the girlseses if they’d like to be in the hollers’ Pride Parade and they agree.

In Michigan, dogs and Not-Carly youngins are running everywhere at Catelynn’s house. Meanwhile, Tyler is in California to get that Special K drop. He meets up with Dr. Dow, and explains that he wants to get help for his childhood sexual abuse trauma. 

Since there’s nothing funny about Tyler talking about his sexual abuse, let’s move it right along….

Back in Florida, Dev-vaughn is still watching the girls, who are doing their homework. Briana comes home from “doing errands” and tells Devoin how pleased she is that he’s now helping with co-parenting. She also makes it clear that they are friends and, even if she gives him the occasional pajama lap dance, they will only be friends.

In Tennessee, it’s now a week after Ryan’s overdose/arrest. Maci tells her friends that Ryan feels like he’s invincible and thought he would be “cured” from his druggin’ after his two weeks in rehab and a stay at Ma and Pa Edwards’ house. 

Maci tells “The Gals” that she has been trying to be there for everyone following the overdose, but now she needs to deal with her own feelings. Jade calls her up and advises her to go to Al-Anon, which is a support group for family members of addicts.

Later, Maci goes to Jen‘s house to talk. Jen says that Ryan now realizes he should have stayed in rehab. (Um…ya think?!)

Jen says it will be up to the judge as to what happens to Ryan next. She also agrees to go to Al-Anon, and get Ryan’s dad Larry to go, too.

In Las Vegas, Ashley is running things at home while Bar is in California. Ashley says she can already feel Bar’s absence in their home, not because she misses him, but because he’s usually the one who can get Holly to clean her room. 

In addition to dealing with Bar’s hiatus, Ashley is still grieving the loss of her brother. Ashley says her mom, Tea, is still really struggling as well, and Ashley feels like it’s her responsibly to be there for her mom and little sister Rosie. 

When Ashley FaceTimes her mom to check in, Tea has just gotten back from the grocery store and is sporting an ensemble that has Ashley feeling optimistic about her mom’s current emotional state. 

“You got back from the grocery store in a zebra blazer?!” Ashley says to Tea. “You’re living your life!” 

(Ashley managed to refrain from asking her mom is she wants to hire her to paint zebra stripes on her walls.)

Tea goes on to ask Ashley how she’s dealing with Bar being away and Ashley admits things are harder around the house with one less adult, even if that adult is Bar. 

In turn, Tea says “there’s a lot going on” with her, too, as she’s grieving and “constantly fighting” with Ashley’s dad. Tea says she knows the arguing is hindering Rosie. Ashley offers to let Rosie come out to Las Vegas to spend some time with her for a while to help out with Holly and around the house. 

By all means, let’s turn the grieving, neglected little sister into a maid and free babysitter! 

Back in West Virginia, Leah, the girlseseseses and a few of Leah’s friends head off to the Pride Parade.  Leah’s managed to wrangle a free car from a dealership for them to ride in like the gosh dern holler celebrities that they are.

Leah’s waving her rainbow flag like her spot on a TV show depends on it!

That’s all for this episode of ‘Teen Mom: The Next Chapter!’ To read The Ashley’s previous recap, click here!

(Photos: MTV)