It’s been months since Kail Lowry welcomed twins with her live-in lover Elijah Scott, but the former Teen Mom 2 star finally confirmed that her sixth and seventh children are here! On Friday’s episode of Kail’s Barely Famous podcast, Kail and Elijah told the twins’ birth story.
Put on your snorkel and get ready to hold someone’s foot, because The Ashley is recapping this deep dive into Kail’s birth…
“Let’s talk about the birth story of the twins,” Kail says.
Elijah, a master wordsmith and all-around vibrant personality, mutters, “….Uhhh…What about it?”
Never did I imagine that I’d long for the days of a Kail baby daddy wearing a fishing hat and muttering into an Instagram Live but here we are. At least Chris showed a little personality. Where’s Rappin’ Jo Jo Rivera when you need him?
Anyway, the couple then launches into the tale of how Kail expelled not one but two Spawn ‘o’ Elijah from her body. She starts by telling us that she was (shockingly) unhappy with the dates the hospital gave her to choose from to have the twins carved out of her. (Despite the fact that these are Kail’s sixth and seventh kids, she’s always heaved her kids out of her hoo-ha and had never had a C-section before.)
Kail found the C-section date choices unsatisfactory because they were all between the birthdays of some of her other spawns’ birthdays. She knew she was going to have to have a C-section, though, because one of the Lil’ Lijahs was breech.
Kail rattles on about putting up blinds, yelling at someone on the phone and other stuff no one cares about, as Elijah offers the occasional “yeah” so that we all know he’s still conscious.
Kail says that she felt like she was in labor but waited a bit before telling Elijah. She then launches into a talk about mucus plugs and whatnot and, I’m sorry, but I just can’t. I know childbirth is natural and beautiful and yada yada but please allow me to refrain from having an visual of a champagne cork covered in bodily fluids popping out of Kail’s vajeen. Please and thank you.
Elijah is actually getting worse by the minute in his storytelling. His voice and delivery is the equivalent of watching Kail’s mucus plug dry. He makes Mackenzie‘s dead-behind-the-eyes ex Josh McKee look like Jim Carrey, I swear!
Kail says that she really wanted the twins to be born on a specific date, so she was willing to hold those babies in her spawn gutter for as long as necessary to make that happen.
I think that’s nice…
Elijah wasn’t down with Kail crossing her legs until she reached a “whole number” date on the calendar (um…what?) but Kail being Kail was determined to do it anyway. She said that almost all of her litter has matching numbers for their birthdate SO THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
Kail and Elijah finally go to the hospital (where she certainly has her own parking spot in the Labor & Delivery section).
Once at the hospital, they discover that Kail’s Gentleman Gobbler is already 5 centimeters dilated, which is halfway to baby time.
Elijah manages to put a whole sentence together (!) to tell us that Kail was nervous to get a C-section.
“There were so many people in the room, it felt like my 16 and Pregnant episode!” Kail says.
After listening to a commercial in which Kail’s friend Kristen talks about her man’s foot odor (as you do), we’re back with more of the riveting tale of how the latest Kail-lets were expelled from Kail’s overworked womb.
Kail said she was yelling at the doctors to bring Elijah in, but then immediately started throwing up mac ‘n’ cheese after the drugs went in. So now we have a visual of a screaming Kail, heaving out bright yellow Kraft. I’m surprised those twins didn’t crawl up into her small intestines and refuse to exit the building into that chaos.
AnyVomit, Kail tells us that she delivered her son first, and then Elijah tells us (via one sentence that takes five minutes to get out because he has to insert random 10-second pauses between each word) that the baby girl was born a few moments later.
Randomly, Kail asks Elijah if they’re going to have more kids.
“How you gonna do that?” he responds.
She then admits that she had a tubal litigation (aka had her fallopian tubes closed.)
The Ashley is just going to take a moment to pay homage to what may be the hardest working reproductive organs this side of Michelle Duggar‘s. You had a nice run, guys. Enjoy your well-deserved retirement.
Naturally, Kail requested to see her tubes after they were removed. She also adds that, since the procedure, she’s had short periods of regret about getting fixed.
She adds that, after having her fourth son Creed, she insisted that she was done having kids. However, she claims she “knew” she wasn’t done shooting out the spawn, given that she had five bedrooms put into her MTV McMansion.
Still she admitted that having “seven kids sounds crazy…it doesn’t feel crazy, yet, because the twins are still so new that they’re not chaotic.”
“But I’m like done. We’re done…right?” Kail asks Mr. Personality.
Oh dear Lord…I feel like there’s going to be a Barely Famous episode in 2025 all about how Kail valiantly goes back into the operating room to reverse her tied-up tubes so she can continue having more Elijah offspring.
Anyway, Kail says after her C-section drugs wore off, she was itchier and scratchier than a houseguest on Jenelle Evans‘ home The Land.
“I got a video of you acting crazy,” Elijah said.
(Um…so does MTV, hun…about 1000 seasons worth, to be fair.)
If the thought of Kail’s mucus plug, spewed-up mac ‘n’ cheese and/or tube cutting isn’t enough to make you want to upchuck your lunch, she then launches into the tale of how she split open her C-section incision and mistakenly thought her bodily fluids were actually water from her sink full of dishes.
Or something.
I have no idea..
Kail says that Elijah had to change her diapers, then the twins and their one-year-old son Rio’s all at the same time while Kail recovered.
The episode gets brain-numbingly boring toward the last five or so minutes.
Elijah said that it was hard…and stuff…to watch someone get things taken out of her stomach and then get sewn back up…and stuff.
Kail then talks about how pieces of her fat were present on her babies when they came out of her.
SERIOUSLY WHY ARE WE LISTENING TO THIS!?!?!?!?!
JESUS GOD LEAH!
Finally, Elijah admits that he’s getting a vasectomy soon. Let’s hope they inject some personality while my dude’s numbed up because… MY GOD.
Mercifully Kail and Elijah decided to end the podcast here, but threatened promised to do a “Part 2” to talk about bringing their twins home.
I’m not recapping the second part, don’t even ask! In the infamous words of Amber Portwood: I am DONE!
To read The Ashley’s other recaps, click here.
(Photos: Instagram; TikTok)
43 Responses
So what was the date they were born on since the birthday is apparently so important??
So did she get them tied or removed? Cuz those are 2 diff surgeries lmao I had mine removed after baby #4 so there could be no chance of oopsies or untying of any sort.
She’s on the verge of Fathers Day at her house looking like Walmart on Black Friday. :-/
Why do people cover this train wreck of trash? She belongs in the Farrah Jenelle category of “ bad decisions” 5 baby daddy’s?!? Her own kids begging her to “ shut her legs” ( Issac should get N EMMY award for that line) she’s just a poster child for what money does to trash with no emotional security and extreme self esteem issues
No way those babies had any pieces of fat on them. Who’s needing diaper changes after their c-section? No one I know. Mom is expected to be up and walking and using the bathroom on her own before she leaves the hospital. While in the hospital I’m sure she had attentive nursing staff. I legit. want the drama back on the show, give me Kail, Janelle, Farrah, Adam, Ryan, I would watch again then, but keep those cameras around so we aren’t able to lie about fat chunks…
The greatest part of this recap is hearing Karl had her tubes tied. I bet Isaac cried tears of relief!
Anyone ever wonder if (and I know the have a podcast and are “friends”) if Vee and Jo laugh together about what a disaster Karl is? 7 kids is a lot. And she would never have been able to do this without MTV.
Elijah will grow up and leave soon. When he gets a backbone.
This was, by far, the best article I’ve read in the Ashley! Made me chuckle! You should do more like this. Life is shit and depressing, articles like this are a nice change! I may never eat Mac n cheese again though ??
I acknowledge this should not be my take away from this piece but if your cervix is gobbling up anything please seek medical help. No men should be going in your cervix.
I truly want to see a “day in the life of Kail”
and omfg…”Gentleman Gobbler” is now burned into my memory lmaooo Thanks Ashley!
Thanks for taking one for the team, The Ashley! I tried to listen to Rio’s birth story and she was just jumping around all over the place, badgering Elijah about parts she thought he forgot. It was so hard to listen to – because of how unorganized it was and because of how mind-numbing Elijah is when he opens his mouth.
You’re a real one, thanks sis! ?
That gorilla is so embarrassing! These kids will need years of therapy.
And the cycle repeats itself. An endless revolving door of men in her kids lives. Even after one of them specifically asked her to stop. For someone who discusses her traumatic childhood, and her Mom constantly having new men around, she certainly is doing the exact same thing! My heart breaks for her kids who seem to always play second fiddle to the man of the month.
I dislike Kail.
I don’t find her to be a decent person at all.
And no, having a big house and feeding and bathing your kids is not enough to be considered a “great mom”.
She’s brought man after woman after man around, she has no stability for those kids. They never know who’s going to be there in the morning. Ok this guy’s been there 2 years, not a world record.
He probably does just enough not to get dumped for the next one.
And there will be a next one.
I have always felt a little relieved that Isaac has stability with Joe and Vee. And I think he is with Joe half of the time. I feel like Javi loves Linc and is there for him but I feel like that household could potentially be chaotic and ever changing because Javi can’t keep Mr. Pee Pee in his pants. I feel horrible for the two kids with Chris because they have 2 screwed up parents. Same for these last 3. Elijah reminds me of a Stepford Wife. Blink once if you need saving.?I’m quite sure though that Kail employs more than one nanny to take care of her multitude of children.
Thank you. You truly said it all. I cannot stand when I hear people defend her- for any reason really, but mostly for being a “great” mom because she pays for them… Ummmm, what?! Let’s talk about the bad example she is setting on multiple fronts. And money doesn’t make you a great parent- whatsoever. Neither does keeping them clean and fed- that is part if it, yes, but not all of it. There is NO way she gives enough attention to these kids- I have ONE four-year old son and 11-year old twin sons and I find it hard to give equal attention to all of them. I fall short, absolutely. I do, also, work. So, for her to have SEVEN kids, four of which are age four and under- there’s no way the older three are getting enough attention. No way.
Let us also not forget that she CHOOSES not to vaccinate them as well, believing that, apparently, she’s smarter than literally everyone else in the world. She doesn’t selectively vaccinate (nothing wrong with that), or choose not to vaccinate because of health concerns that make vaccines a risk. She CHOOSES not to, just because.
The only child she has who is fully vaccinated is Isaac, and that is because Joe insisted. Lincoln *may be fully vaccinated (to date), but I’m not quite sure. None of the children after him are. Rio was recently exposed to a measles outbreak while getting tubes in his ears, they were told to quarantine at home. She listened, for a couple of days, then chose to take the boys to wrestling instead of keeping potential asymptomatic carriers of MEASLES at home where they belonged for at least a few more days.
I used to not really like Kail as a person, but thought she was a halfway (at least) decent mom. I, however, was wrong, she is neither a good person, nor a good mom. She is absolutely batshit crazy, in so many ways, and getting worse. No amount of being able to “afford everything they need and want” can make up for making such monumentally shitty decisions as a parent, like CHOOSING not to vaccinate, at all (and risking not just your lives, but others’ as well).
She’s not even the main caregiver to the kids she has!
Uh…if pieces of fat are on your baby following a c-section, then someone didn’t do something right. Also, I had two of them and both my babies were fat-free; I want a refund and some fat removed!
I think it should be said kail isn’t really parenting 7 kids ok. Idk what Chris’s involvement with his two are right now but javi and joe are prob perfectly capable of taking care of their kids when they need to so those kids aren’t an issue. She’s had a lot of help.
While I agree with you that she isn’t really parenting 7 kids (ahem the nanny) saying that the dads also take care of the kids, so Kail isn’t, isn’t a valid point.
I would hope the dads are helping. Both parents should always help take care of their kids.
That’s like saying because my husband does his fair share with our children that I’m not really parenting them & that’s just not the case.
Lets normalize dads being active participants in their children’s lives & making it seem like a mom isn’t a real mom if the dad does show up & does what’s he’s supposed to do.
Guy sounds so boring…seriously, what does she see in him?! (He prob sees money) I could never date someone who can’t even put up a coherent sentence…at least Javi and Jo and Chris have a personality…(it might be the fact that he didn’t want to film) but this guy sounds just so boring. What can you even talk about with him?! Oh yeah, the kids she shot out…three times.
I love your recaps and stuff.?
Spawn gutter!!! Genius
Damn Ashley doing the lords works but I am going to call BS on most of this story because of Kail. Having twins or multiples in general I would imagine is a whole different ballgame. yes she’s 31 so not at an advanced age for pregnancy but there are a lot more precautions and appointments.
First of all you have to plan for a C-section even if you have had successful vaginal births and they usually want twins out by 38 weeks. She may have sling cash and cussin at the doctor for her ideal birthdays but then babies weren’t going to stay in for all 40, too risky. Second of all she would have known this for weeks in advance. They do so much more monitoring on twins, more ultrasounds, stress tests, gestational diabetes tests and that’s not a dig it’s because of the hormones.
But I am happy she found someone to love her because when someone is changing your diapers too, that’s love. Oh and yes I hope they aren’t just braggin about not having more babies.
31 years old and seven children…humm…
One of the first things my doctor told me when we found out I was having twins was that I absolutely wasn’t going past 38 weeks because the chances of stillbirth for twins increases A LOT after that. She also told me that I’d be a lot more likely to have a c-section even though I’d already had three singletons vaginally. Everything aligned in my favor at the end, but I still didn’t get to pick my day for induction or any of that nonsense because it had to be scheduled within the seven day period of 37w0d and 38w0d and had to be when the hospital could have adequate staff on hand and didn’t have any other deliveries scheduled. Her thinking at all that she could just decide the date is narcissistic as hell. Also very selfish that she knew she was in labor and decided to just wait around instead of going to the hospital right away, even after the doctors told her it was dangerous and she’d definitely need a c-section. She was risking her children’s lives because she wanted them to have a certain birthday.
I second this. I have mono-di (identical boys- two sacs, shared placenta- the mid range of twins/risk) and mine wanted them out by 38 weeks as well- it’s more risky to keep them in longer as opposed to a singleton. She obviously had two sacs two placentas (It is EXTREMELY rare for them to have shared a placenta) so she was the lowest risk but still- I doubt they would want her going over 38 weeks. 38 weeks is considered full term. Mine arrived at 33 weeks 4 days (they were done, I am a tiny person LOL) so our situation didn’t go as planned but originally they had me looking at dates between 37-38 weeks. I can’t remember what I selected but I know they scheduled it around 30 weeks. Kail is so full of crap. And yes- you have Stress tests every two weeks for a while, and towards 28-30 weeks, you go more frequently- usually once a week and then multiple times a week for monitoring.
Wow! Way to take one for the team @theashley! That was brutal. I can’t get over the selfishness of Kail!
They’re both cutting the tubes, but the sources are still in tact. Just sayin.
Long time reader/follower of The Ashley now and this was one of the funniest recaps ever ?
No, that many kids is crazy. I kinda want to see how she does it all and what her schedule is. She mentions the twins are chaotic yet? Like really? I have my almost 8 month old sleeping on my chest and he has been doing that the whole time. I literally can’t step away from this baby of mine without a meltdown and I wake up STILL every hour or so at night. There is no way she is taking care of all these kids by herself. This guy has to be doing something. And there is no way she should be able to afford her lifestyle and kids on what she has made. Unless she does very well with it, that is crazy.
Her podcasts are very successful. I imagine she has some brand deals too. She had a hairline and clothes brand in some point, I don’t know if those are still active. Each kid spends some time with their dads so she doesn’t have them 24/7 and the older ones must be very independent by now (Isaac just turned 14 and Lincoln must me around 11). I hope Elijah is taking care of his 3 kids, they are not just her kids.
She has a Nanny
What does he see in her unless her MTV money and d-list fame is appealing? Bland personalty aside, he’s cute and young. He can do better, but now he’s stuck with her forever, even when the relationship inevitably falls apart.
There’s no need to write this article so crudely and full of hate, that’s not productive. I cringed at your writing more than the story itself.
Are you new here? ? YOU don’t have to read here. See how that works? This site is successful BECAUSE of the funny recaps. Also Kail doesn’t have a good reputation and is famous for being a self righteous lying jerk who now has so many children it’s ABUSIVE to those children. Pick your battles better.
Might help if Kail was a complete and total pig. Seems unreasonable to expect that not to be reflected in an article about her. Or is her lifestyle and having God knows how many fathers normal to you?
*wasn’t
@TheAshley Thank you for suffering through that for us!
I love how they both will be fixed lol maybe she’s seriously done having kids although I wouldn’t be surprised if 18 months from now she announced she welcomed another one vía surrogate
I wouldn’t be surprised if she got pregnant by some random in a McDonald’s parking lot next week.
I think you meant Wawa. lmao