Jenelle Evans recently split from her husband David Eason and, over the weekend, the fired Teen Mom 2 dad took to TikTok Live to share his thoughts on the split, as well as many other topics including the couple’s alleged money issues, how poorly he claims Jenelle treated him and more.

David, sporting tiny braids that are giving big “My parents took me on a cruise to Cabo San Lucas and all I got were these dumb beach braids” vibes, ranted while on his broken boat (which The Ashley will be referring to as the “Boaterhome” going forward.) He also addressed his new spiffy hairdo, calling his braids “Lady handlebars.”

The Ashley will give you a moment to upchuck your lunch…

Here, The Ashley will break down some of what David rambled on about during his Live session this weekend.

On what caused his and Jenelle’s split: 

David told his TikTok folks his version of events that lead to Jenelle ending their marriage.

“Why did we split? Because Jenelle cheated on me. She’s been cheatin’ for years, actually. I would have gave her another chance, but…

David claimed to have already moved on from The Lady ‘o’ Land, mentioning that he was “Netflixing and chilling” with a lady with an, um, ample bosom on Friday night. 

David claimed that he is thrilled that Jenelle filed for separation. 

“Let me tell you, I am so happy to have my old friends back, that she pushed out of my life,” he said. “It’s unreal, dude. Nobody wanted to come around me because of her.”

“She doesn’t like nobody,” David said of Jenelle. “She has a problem with every single person— every friend of mine, every family member of mine. She’s pushed them all out of my life. And it ain’t me! I came into this relationship with a big family and a big group of friends. And then, eventually, none of my friends want to come around.

“I would invite them to the house and they just don’t come,” he said. 

“So many of my friends will text me like, ‘Why don’t you come fishing?’ and ‘Why don’t you come over and drink a beer?’ or ‘Why don’t you come over and fix my lawnmower? Come do this, come do that,’ and I’ll be like, ‘OK, you know, I gotta ask Jenelle.’ And what is she gonna say? ‘Hell no. I ain’t going anywhere. I’m not going to their house! I don’t like them.’ …and when I call my friends and say, ‘Well, she doesn’t wanna go.’ What do they think?”

David says he’s tired of being controlled by Jenelle.

“I’m sick of her not letting me go to work, not letting me go to my friend’s house, not letting me go fishing,” he said. “Not letting me go play pool. Not even letting me go to the f**king store.

“If I go to the gas station, I literally get accused of cheating or getting ‘topped off’ or whatever you want to call it.”

“I’ll be gone for 10 minutes, 20 minutes and next thing you know, s**t hits the f**king fan,” he said. 

On running out of money:

David also addressed rumors that he and Jenelle were going— or already are— broke.

“Everyone’s always like, ‘Oh, their money’s gonna run out soon.’ We ain’t never had no money!” he said. “That bitch [Jenelle] ain’t got no money! She never had money, because she always blows it. And she says I blow it? Please tell me what I blow money on? ‘Cause you can’t prove it, but you can prove what you blew your money on.”

In her divorce filing, Jenelle accused David of spending the money she earns “recklessly,” particularly on alcohol. She also pointed out that, for years, he has refused to work.

“[David] recklessly spent the party’s money which [Jenelle] solely earns, and in other ways to be shown at trial,” Jenelle wrote in the court documents filed last month. “[David] has further committed marital misconduct in that he excessively uses alcohol and has not maintained consistent full-time employment for a number of years.”

On TikTok, David claimed that he did not buy his possessions with Jenelle’s money.

“Not me. I bought my own s**t,” he said, before assuring his, um, “fans” that he is perfectly capable of earning money.

“I can make more money than I need,” he said.

“It’s not hard,” he continued. “I have several businesses and several forms of income.”

(Like Jenelle, David’s attempted “business” ventures have flopped– from his boat-scrubbing business to his OnlyFans to his garbage disposal of a “rap career,” he has not had much success in his attempts at being a “businessman.”) 

Later in the video, David claimed that he’s “not struggling.”

“There’s no struggle,” David said, before taking out a few wads of cash (most of which appeared to be bills between $1-$10, natch.) 

He stated he made the money “working.”

“You can act like you know if somebody has a job or not, but if I was to tell you where my job is everyday, do you think that would be smart?” he said. 

“I don’t need a job that I have anyone to answer to,” David claimed. “I’m about to start hiring people. I’ve got so much work lined up that I’m not gonna be able to do it all this week. Y’all have no f**king idea.

“I’ve had these clients forever and the clients that I have, they have friends. And their friends call me like that. You know why? Because I know these people in real life. I hang out with them in real life and I help them in real life and people like me, in real life. This is not the Internet,” he said, obviously taking a swipe at his Internet-obsessed estranged wife.”

Later in the video, David revealed how he makes his money.

“I don’t need TikTok money. Y’all wanna do what I do? I go to different marinas–and this is just one job— and I find people who need their boat fixed. And I f**king fix it! And it’s not even that hard to do most of the things they want you to do. And that’s a couple hundred dollars every time. 

On ‘Teen Mom’ fans predicting that the Easons’ marriage would be a trainwreck:

David stated that he should have listened to the show’s fans who warned him about dating/marrying/mooching off of Jenelle.

“Y’all predicted all this s**t,” he said of the fans. “That’s the craziest part! Y’all predicted all of this! You predicted that she was gonna push my family out of my life. You predicted that she was gonna push my friends out of my life. And [you] predicted that she was gonna have me lose my job. Y’all predicted it and then you wanna come talk s**t to me when it happened, mate.” 

David went on to confirm that Jenelle allegedly caused him to lose his job.

On Jenelle losing her gig on ‘Teen Mom 2’:

David claimed that Jenelle getting booted off ‘Teen Mom 2’ in 2019 (shortly after David shot Jenelle’s dog Nugget) had nothing to do with him.

“She didn’t lose her job [on the show] because of me,” he said. “That’s false. She had a chance to work with [MTV]. She still had the chance to work with them.”

(If you want to know how it all really went down back in 2019, click here.) 

On being treated poorly by Jenelle:

David claimed that Jenelle was mean to him.

“That kind of stuff, breaks down a man, whenever he gives everything he can just to be walked all over,” he said. 

“…I’ve been in this negative forcefield for so many years that it’s, like, crushed me,” David continued. “I feel like I’ve become [Jenelle] and I kind of have….the worst part is that I literally became her as a way to protect myself. Because I would be so nice, so romantic, I would do so many things for her, for the kids, and around the house…and I would get none of that in return. 

“I would get no love in return, I would get no respect in return,” he said. “She would never say thank you. Bitch ain’t never said thank you for nothing! She ain’t never said ‘thank you’ and she ain’t never said ‘I’m sorry.’ That’s two things that she ain’t never said to nobody that I can f**king remember, dude….

“I’m talking about, when you do something wrong, and you know that you’re wrong, and you feel bad for it, and you say, ‘Dang, I probably shouldn’t have said that’ or ‘I shouldn’t have done that.’ And you’re like, ‘I’m sorry, I love you. I care about you.’ No, she has never done that to anyone. She can’t say those words. She can’t say those types of words.” 

David added that he hoped Jenelle would be tuning in to his Live.

“She can go back and look in the mirror and learn, and maybe change,” he said. “Maybe with the next guy, maybe she’ll tell him she’s sorry when she’s a f**king b….there’s nothing positive about that woman. I wish I could say some nice, sweet things but if I did, I’d be picking and choosing what to say, instead of actually telling the truth. 

“She will tell herself a lie and then believe it,” he said. “Literally, like believe it. It seems like she believes it….it seems like she actually believes her own lies. She will tell a lie and then keep telling it, and then look you right in the eyes like, ‘This is the truth.’ 

On killing Jenelle’s dog Nugget:

David said, unlike Jenelle, he’s not a liar.

“I didn’t lie about killing no dog,” he told one person who brought up David lying about killing Jenelle’s dog Nugget in 2019.

David then threatened to kill and eat that person’s dog…as you do.

“Where’s your f**king Nugget? I will eat that motherf**ker!” he told the person. “I’ll put hot sauce on his a**. I’ll make a jacket out of that motherf**ker.” 

Jenelle later posted a video with her reaction to the claims David made in his TikTok Live.

“Y’all, just let him talk,” she said. “Let him talk. It’s all good. I’m just gonna sit here and continue to mind my own business, take care of my kids. He can continue to harass me, try to show up to my house every day with cops, text me horrible mean texts everyday, take my things. The list goes on and on and on what nobody knows and I’m not here to just spew everything either.”

Jenelle went on to state that she expected David to react this way.

“He’s mad right now and I expected that,” she said. “I knew he was gonna talk s**t. I knew he was gonna get online and just bash me. That was coming, eventually, right?”

Jenelle seemed unbothered by David’s claims of having hooked up with a big-bosomed boat floozy the night before.

“If he did move on, that’s OK,” she said. “I hope he did so he leaves me alone!” 

RELATED STORY: Jenelle Evans Says Husband David Eason Is Not “Allowing” Quick Divorce; Swears She Won’t Jump Into Another Relationship Right Away

(Photos: TikTok; MTV; Instagram; YouTube)