*Trigger Warning: This story contains mentions of domestic violence.
Shekinah Garner is standing firm on her decision to forgive fiancé Sarper Güven for ripping out her hair extensions during an argument that occurred while filming the current season of 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way.
As viewers saw on Monday’s episode, Shekinah and Sarper met up to discuss the altercation, which had taken place days earlier. While chatting, Sarper complained that he was having difficulty sleeping because he was “overthinking nonstop” about their latest argument, to which Shekinah reminded her fiancé that his own actions had caused these “ailments.” Shekinah then detailed what had occurred during the incident.
“Sarper, you ripped my hair extension out of my head,” she said. “Have you even asked me one time if my head is okay?”
Shekinah went on to tell Sarper that her “emotions and feelings” towards him change every time she sees his angry side, though Sarper attempted to excuse his behavior by blaming it on stress. When Sarper pleaded with Shekinah to give him another chance, Shekinah revealed that she had previously been in a relationship with someone who “had a bad temper,” making her hesitant to forgive Sarper for his recent actions.
“ … And it got to the point where he was touching me in anger, like lashing out, pushing me, restraining me, tormenting me, literally frightening me,” she said of her past relationship.
After hearing about Shekinah’s past, Sarper said he regretted their altercation even more and Shekinah ultimately decided to forgive him. However, Shekinah insisted that Sarper seek therapy to learn how to control his emotions, claiming that another altercation would result in her ending their relationship.
“I want to believe that he can do this,” Shekinah said. “The way that he can show me that he learned anything is by changing, and I think he will if he loves me as much as he says he does.”
Following Monday’s episode, Shekinah posted a photo of herself and Sarper to social media, defending her decision to stay with Sarper.
“I choose understanding, forgiveness and resilience to cherish our love that outweighs any discord,” she wrote. “Our connection is measured by how we rise above confusion.”
Shekinah’s post garnered many comments from viewers criticizing her choice to forgive Sarper, with some fans even calling her “a victim.”
“I’m not a victim and never have been,” Shekinah responded to one comment. “My choices are mine and I don’t regret them.”
Sarper also joined the comment-section convo, with an odd statement that Shekinah went on to co-sign.
“The woman who f… up all my chemistry, habits, life principles … am I regretful? Absolutely not,” Sarper wrote, to which Shekinah replied, “A better man emerged from the bad boy image and I’m so thankful for that.”
As fans know, this isn’t the first time Shekinah has come to her man’s defense. Back in July, she went to bat for her Turkish boyfriend against people whom she claimed “slut-shamed” him for admitting that he had slept with more than 2,500 women.
“I think it’s terrible– in this day and age– to be essentially slut-shaming people, which is what that is, when you’re judging someone based on their body count,” she told a TMZ reporter who questioned her about Sarper’s past promiscuity. “That’s so demeaning and so wrong.
“He’s a grown man,” she continued. “He wasn’t doing anything wrong.”
Shekinah also commended her high-body-count boo for being “honest and forthcoming” about his sexual history, arguing that Sarper was an attractive man who “took advantage of the fact that he could sleep with almost anyone.”
New episodes of “90 Day Fiance: The Other Way” air Mondays on TLC.
RELATED STORY: “90 Day Fiance” Star Colt Johnson Tells Fans He’s Interested in Dating Darcey Silva
(Photos: TLC; Instagram)
6 Responses
They both are not quite there. He is nuts and she is begging for a man in her life.
She really doesn’t care whether he is sincere or not, as long as the cameras keep rolling. It is clear that both of these plastic fame mongers are only in it for the 15 minutes of fame. He is Jesse and she is Jenifer (or Darcy – either one is appropriate). As soon as we stop watching them, they will go away and they will both be on the hunt for someone with more money than each of them has at the moment. Mark my words. Plastic, fame hungry grifters, both of them.
I will never understand beautiful women like this who put up with such garbage. I’m short, overweight, and not at all pretty, and I’ve had several long-term relationships with men who did nothing but treat me wonderfully. Then married my husband – together over 20 years now – who has never even raised his voice to me, let alone yelled at me or berated me, swore at me, or did anything physical. There are tons of nice, normal guys in this world. I’m so tired of women insisting that “all guys do that” or “all guys cheat” or “guys can’t control their anger” and just dealing with it. And girls that look like Shekinah? Come on now. So many nice guys would line up to treat her like gold, and instead she picks him? Well enjoy your life of chaos and roller coaster of ups and downs I guess. Idk how anyone lives like that, waiting for the next shoe to drop.
I had an altercation with a partner once. Once. When he showed me who he truly was, I believed him.
He tearfully begged my forgiveness and sincerely promised it would never happen again. I did forgive him and told him he was absolutely right—it would never happen again.
Thankfully I had the presence of mind (and the ability) to walk away.
Same- even at age 18 I knew that was NOT okay. I moved across country like an idiot at age 18 with a guy I didn’t know THAT well. We got to Florida (from California) and things deteriorated pretty quickly. The job he had gotten there dissipated because of him and his behavior and inability to show up. I had gotten a job that was holding us above water. One night, after forgetting to pick me up, again, at MIDNIGHT, I came home to him drunk, after having to walk home (we only had one car, which was his, which is why I had to walk). Luckily, my roommate at the time, came to walk with me because he knew my boyfriend was drinking and forgot to get me. I came home to my boyfriend in his drunken stupor and he was ranting and raving about how I “thought I was better than him because I had a job” even though I had never said or even gave that impression, and he had taken an empty plastic water jug and hit himself in the head. When I told him that wasn’t true and to stop hitting himself, he tried to come for me and luckily our roommate was home and he stepped in and told my boyfriend that he’d lay him out if he touched me. The next day, 3,000 miles away from any friends and family, I put my plan into action to get home and get away from him. A few weeks later, after laying low, I did that and split with him. No man will EVER physically assault me and although emotional and verbal abuse is harder to see when you are dealing with it, and hard sometimes to justify as abuse, I have gotten better at seeing that type of abuse and do not tolerate it either. I will be DAMNED if I let a man put hands on me and I refuse to tolerate or justify bad behavior because I “love” someone. She needs to wake up. This guy isn’t changing- he still has that gross collection of bottles and his “black book” of sexual conquests that she has repeatedly asked him to get rid of and he refuses. Now, this physical altercation where he ripped her extension out… how many signs do you need, girl? You are a GROWN woman.
He strikes me as a predator honestly. I know how hard it is to leave a DV relationship because often you have been isolated and beaten down emotionally and mentally. You feel like every bad behavior he has was directly caused by something you didn’t do right. You really can’t get clarity until you are away from the abuser and you start to heal. That’s when you realize that you never were the issue and you wonder why you stayed as long as you did. Shekinah needs to realize that the next time could be the last time. He has exhibited extreme control and abusive behavior before. This was not the first incident guaranteed. And she is fooling herself if she thinks it’s the last.