Tyler Baltierra was back on The Interwebs on Monday, once again discussing the topic of his biological daughter Carly’s parents, Brandon and Teresa Davis and Carly’s 2009 adoption, which played out during an episode of 16 and Pregnant.
As The Ashley has told you, Tyler and his wife Catelynn Lowell have recently been speaking out (a lot) about the negative aspects of Carly’s adoption. They’ve also recently revealed that Brandon and Teresa have cut off all communication with them, something the Teen Mom stars feel is a disservice to Carly, as well as their three other children.
On Monday, Tyler addressed the topic of why Brandon and Teresa adopted Carly, and why he and Catelynn chose them to be Carly’s adoptive parents. He also discussed how little Brandon and Teresa did to help him and Catelynn after they relinquished their parental rights to Carly, and how he feels that Brandon and Teresa still hold a lot of trauma from not being able to have their own biological children, which could be a reason for why they’re treating Catelynn and Tyler the way that they are.
“What I want for Brandon and Teresa is to heal from whatever infertility journey they have,” Tyler said on Instagram Live.
“And I don’t know what that really is, they never really went into detail. But I just hope they find a lot of healing with that because I’ve been doing my research as far as the adoptive parents’ feelings and the trauma that they go through, the grief and loss that comes with not being able to have your own biological child and fulfill those fertility/parenting dreams,” Tyler added.
Tyler went on to say that Brandon and Teresa were “kind of forced by nature to go the adoption route” to become parents. (In addition to adopting Carly, the Davises also adopted a son several years after Carly’s adoption.)
“Correct me if I’m wrong– anyone out there that is an adoptive parent– but I don’t really know any adoptive parent who, you know, jumped for joy and said, ‘I want to be an adoptive mom or an adoptive dad or adoptive parents or whatever.’ I don’t think really any of them really wanted it. Just like birth parents: none of us want to relinquish our child. It’s just not a thing,” he said.
“I think that needs to be understood: that adoption from all sides is trauma,” Tyler continued. “You can’t have adoption without trauma…please understand that’s what you’re dealing with: someone’s very personal, hard, traumatic experience that’s unique to them.”
Tyler went on to say that Bethany Christian Services— the adoption agency used to facilitate Carly’s adoption— made $188 million last year, and that the average adoption costs about $50,000— none of which goes to helping the birth mother after she has the child. He also called out Brandon and Teresa for not ensuring that Catelynn was taken care of post-birth.
“In order for my dreams of having a child to be fulfilled…if they required a woman to be traumatized and having to relinquish her child, I would literally do anything that I could do to help that woman, post-birth and post-relinquishing, to get any help that she could get,” he said. “Immediately, get her into therapy. I would do anything to kind of help her.
“As an adoptive parent, to know that I wouldn’t have this opportunity to fulfill my dreams of becoming a parent— that requires the trauma of somebody else— and to not have the compassionate dedication to help this woman, post- birth? That’s crazy to me,” Tyler said later in the Live. “…And I think it’s interesting that the moment that Cate placed Carly, that was it.”
Tyler said that he and Catelynn were repeatedly told how “grateful” they should feel that Carly was adopted and not raised in the chaotic environment that they were raised in, but no one– not even Brandon and Teresa— cared about how Catelynn was doing after she gave up her baby.
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“Everyone was so concerned about Carly not being raised in the trauma and addiction and just chaos [that were our lives at the time Carly was born], but the moment Cate relinquished Carly, it was like, ‘OK, now go back to your trauma. Go back to your chaotic household and buck up and get over it.’ It’s like, no aftercare? That’s insane to me. That blows my mind as an adult looking back.
“[Everyone was like], ‘This baby should not be raised in this [chaos]. You’re doing a good thing, good for you.’ And then it was like, ‘OK, now child— because [Catelynn] was a child— go back and be grateful that your child is not being raised in this environment.’ With no aftercare. That’s mind-blowing to me.”
Later in the Live, Tyler addressed the terms of Carly’s open adoption. Viewers of “16 and Pregnant” and ‘Teen Mom’ saw Tyler and Catelynn— as well as Carly’s adoptive parents— sign an agreement regarding visitation, etc; however, Tyler stated that nothing in the contract was actually legally binding.
“We signed this thing, we had all these expectations…when we made this decision, we verbally agreed on specific things and we said that we wanted an open adoption,” he said.
At the time of the adoption, Carly’s parents were aware that Cate and Ty were going to be featured on an episode of “16 and Pregnant.” However, they were not aware at the time of the adoption that the couple would go on to appear on the spin-off ‘Teen Mom’ and continue to publicly discuss Carly’s adoption on TV.
Tyler stated that, in his opinion, Brandon and Teresa were wrong to agree to the terms of an open adoption that would be shown on TV if that’s not what they were really OK with.
“And I have to say that, if Brandon and Teresa were not OK with the publicity of their child’s adoption story, they should have said no,” Tyler said. “When they were asked, ‘Hey, it’s going to be documented on a public TV show’ or whatever, they should have said no. And when the information got to them saying, ‘Hey, they want an open adoption. They want face-to-face visits’…they could have said no.
“… So now, 14 years later— after having this open adoption, which, slowly I could sense was closing— I think is wrong,” Tyler said. “Not only because it’s not what we agreed upon, but because you had the opportunity to say no.”
Tyler then stated that Brandon and Teresa may have agreed to terms they didn’t intend to follow through with, just to ensure that they got to adopt a baby.
“A part of me feels like the longing to fulfill your infertility solution, and having these dreams of being a parent, you just said, ‘Yeah it’s fine.’ Even though you clearly didn’t want any of that,” he said. “So, when I look back at it, me and Cate were very clear on what we wanted and expected, and why we chose them— because they agreed to these things. However, on their end, they clearly didn’t want any of this from the get-go. So, why?
“I just don’t understand why. It’s not like another couple wouldn’t have picked them. It’s not like it was the only chance they were ever going to have at fulfilling those dreams of being parents. So, anyway, I just feel like it’s just sad at the end of it all.”
Tyler admitted that, in the years after Carly’s adoption, he and Catelynn enjoyed the praise they received for making the choice to place Carly for adoption.
“I think me and Cate spent a lot of years after [Carly’s adoption] kind of soaking up the glorification of our ‘sacrifice,'” Tyler said. “And it’s really confusing as a birthparent to be experiencing this inner turmoil in this completely shredding thing of your spirit— emotionally or whatever– and then have people pat you on the back and say, ‘But you did such a good thing. You gave such a gift.’ It kind of minimizes our freedom. It feels like we can’t [say it wasn’t a gift]. It minimizes our emotions.”
Tyler also stated that, if he could go back and do things differently, he would have questioned Brandon and Teresa a lot more before agreeing to make them Carly’s parents. (In another recent Live, Tyler admitted that he regrets choosing Brandon and Teresa to be Carly’s parents; however, he insisted he does not regret his decision to place Carly for adoption.)
“If I could go back in time, I would have asked Brandon and Teresa, ‘Have you done grief and loss counseling? Have you learned about adoptee-specific traumas and mental health issues when it comes to identity, genetic-mirroring’…’Do you expect to close this at any time, as long as safety isn’t in violation or whatever?’ There are just certain things I would ask the adoptive parents to get to know them first.
Click here and here to read what other things Tyler and Catelynn have said recently regarding Brandon and Teresa, Carly, and Carly’s adoption.
RELATED STORY: Catelynn Lowell Says She’s Been Blocked By Birth Daughter Carly’s Mom & Leaks Messages She Sent to Teresa: “I Mean Nothing To [Them]!”
(Photos: MTV; Instagram)
68 Responses
he can fuck right off with using b&ts infertility against them! anything he says is such bullshit! i used to feel sorry for these 2 but after this nope
he & cait are turning exactly into their parents with blaming everyone else and trying by to draw attention to everyone else’s problems to get the focus off their own miserable lives!
Absolutely, I agree. What I don’t understand is how they think publicly bashing B&T and escalating it by repeatedly spewing insulting, rude and ignorant things about them is going to achieve their goal of having some access to Carley. If someone can explain this to me, I would appreciate it. Each time I see someone, celebrity or not, put someone on blast, I wonder why they think encouraging others to confront them will have a positive outcome
The lion… the witch.., the audacity of this bitch! Tyler needs to STFU and take several seats. These two make my blood boil in so many ways, so, so, so many ways. I just want to slap the stupid right out of them, but then there might not be anything left…sigh. Warning, rant ahead…you know you all expected it, don’t lie!
He is so willfully ignorant, arrogant and offensive, it’s unreal. Forget everything he’s doing to Theresa and Brandon for a moment here, he is actually trying to harm Carly. Carly, the girl who may be biologically related to him, but is not his daughter, and never will be his daughter, because he couldn’t be her dad. That last bit sounds like a judgment, but it’s not. Giving Carly a better life was the best decision those two ever mad, the ONLY good decision they have ever made in their lives, because they could not be parents and could not give her a home. He needs to remember what lead to that decision in the first place.
Newsflash Tyler, since we know you two read here, some of us do indeed CHOOSE to adopt children. In my case, it had nothing at all to do with infertility, at all, but even if it had been, it was on the table from a young age. Even though my biological babies never got to leave the NICU (again, nothing to do with infertility you dirty doorknob), I had always planned to foster and adopt. I got there a little sooner than I might have otherwise, but it was always part of the journey. So, yes, some of us do make the conscious CHOICE to give children who would otherwise not have one, a better life, a family, a place they can call their home. For us, we have children who join us for a lifetime (which may or may not be short, or even just a season until life can be more kind to them and their families. It is a CHOICE, always a choice. No reasonable person goes into it with “well, I guess it’s my only option, but I’m not really choosing it” you ignorant walnut.
I may be, okay, I am, extra sensitive due in large part to the fact that we in the not so distant recent past lost a precious little one (we knew this would happen going into it, ftr) and am currently dealing with two kiddos who have biological family similar to the way these two behave (and worse at times), plus experience dealing with people just like them in the past. So, it’s a touchy subject at times, but, you know, sometimes people have way more audacity than they have right to possess. These two are so absolutely ignorant to the damage they cause others, even the three girls that live with them are being harmed by their actions, but they couldn’t possibly care any less about the effects of their actions. It pisses me off to no end that people can treat children like objects, possessions, things that belong to them in the sense that a pillow might.
I’m a very strong advocate for children in and out of family court, CPS, DCFS, etc.. Me and my family are heavily involved in helping families cope with foster care, adoption, therapies to help everyone deal with the trauma associated (and there is a LOT for most people, little ever gets addressed). So I do have sympathy, empathy, and wiggle room available for supporting people who struggle, because I get it. I’ve seen what giving up a child can do to someone. These two have/possibly had at this point, so much potential to do good with their experiences, their knowledge, their trials and tribulations, the trauma they’ve experienced. Rather than taking all of that, getting the PROPER help (which btw, would be something they would’ve gotten free initially, but could easily afford themselves after their first appearances on TM), then using it to either help others or even just inform others….they capitalized on it, they monetized it, they turned it into something so dirty and icky that they’ve bastardized the entire experience, negated the experiences of others and pretty much told all four girls to shut up and take it.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK is wrong with you two? I mean that sincerely and with as much disdain as my mind can possibly create at this very moment because I have a preschooler who is supposed to be in the bathtub running around butt ass naked throwing bath toys and tp rolls at as many people as he can find on his way back to the bathroom. I’m a little distracted and lost my train of thought while typing.
Cate and Tyler need to get some serious help, get the girls in therapy, stop posting stupid shit on social media, stop selling their story to anyone who will listen and give Carly the space and time SHE needs and, more importantly, deserves, to deal with the trauma cake they have foisted upon her. She doesn’t want anything to do with them right now, and this shit here, is why. I know exactly what she’s going through, I have two kiddos close in age to her doing the very same thing right now. It’s such bullshit, tbh, and so unfair, and there is little I can do to help them…but I keep trying and they know home is a safe place for them. They are doing no one any favors and if they keep this psycho shit up, the other three will disown them too.
I don’t think he understands they weren’t adopting them. They had no obligation to put Cate in to therapy. It’s a shame they had no proper parents to speak of, but that’s not slack that B&T needed to pick up. These two need to grow tf up.
Omg these two are raising my blood pressure at this point…
B+T should send them a cease and desist at this point. How dare he comment on their fertility issues and that it’s a “trauma” they need to “heal” from? Literally STFU you have no clue what they’ve been through or were they are.
My mom was adopted to I have a little perspective on this. It’s not always a traumatic experience for all those involved. She was happy with her parents and never felt “abandoned.” It’s not up to B+T to heal your traumas. That’s up to you.
He keeps saying that they don’t trash talk B+T and aren’t causing any harm to Carly. Seriously??!? Saying you picked the wrong parents isn’t damaging? Imaging how Carly would feel hearing that. YOU ARE NOT HER PARENTS! All B+T asked was that they not talk about Carly on the show/publicly and they can’t even respect that, which is why they are in this predicament in the first place. I’m pretty sure they also asked that C+T not bring other family members to the visits with Carly, and they didn’t respect that either, showing up with drunk April. They need to stop talking about this publicly, give the family time, and maybe things can resolved privately. I think they are expected that when Carly turns 18, she’s going to come running to them. I’m afraid they’ll be sadly dissapointed.
Tyler is full of shit. Dawn arranged for Cate to go on a birth mom retreat, at a nice ass beach house, all expenses paid. AND, got her aligned with a grief support network to follow up with. Cate didn’t follow through.
Wow. I just lost whatever little respect I had left for T&C. B&T’s fertility issues and their feelings about it is absolutely none of their business to talk about publicly. They can have whatever opinion they have on B&T when it comes to the open adoption situation but Tyler stepped into very personal territory that he had no business stepping into.
If you care about Carley and a future relationship with her you need to completely stop the assault on her adoptive parents or she will likely completely cut you both off. As a teen if she wanted to reach out there are plenty of ways for her to do so around B&T but the fact that she hasn’t means this is likely her choice and they’re taking the hit to protect her from all of this. Do yourself a favor and stop speaking on this if you cared about your kids having a relationship with her you’d think it wouldn’t be worth it to continue to drag them through the mud. You’re likely embarrassing tf out of her.
B&T obviously have NO ISSUE having an open adoption, because, as Tyler HIMSELF stated, Carly’s brother’s bio mom still has access. And it wasn’t B&T’s job to make sure that Cate was okay. Would it have been nice? SURE! But counseling and shit is something that the adoption agency should have offered, and I vaguely remember Dawn saying they did offer those things. So if a bone needs to be picked, maybe start with the adoption agency, and IDK, the shitty parents who traumatized him. AND they agreed to ONE EPISODE not FIFTEEN YEARS of their child being discussed on national fucking TV. B&T have even done their own interviews in regards to adoption, so, obviously, that’s not the issue either. And his AUDACITY to assume that this was an infertility struggle! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! He has NO IDEA what they’ve been through. And, yes, there are adoptive parents out there who go “you know, I don’t want to add to the population, I’d rather adopt a child who needs a good life”. I know quite a few of them. No infertility struggles. Just plain and simple “I want to do good in this world”. Fuck all the way off Ty. No one is buying your load of bullshit.
Why is everything a fucking TRAUMA to these two lazy, ungrateful, no-good whiny bitches?!
I’m so glad I don’t watch these utter morons on TV anymore. Thank you to The Ashley for consistently taking one for the team by providing these mind-numbing recaps.
I’m about to start a drinking game for the next C&T article. Whenever one of them says “trauma” drink your face off to forget that you even know who these circus clowns are.
Leave Brandon and Theresa alone. Leave Carly alone. Focus on the kids you have at home with you and get a grip. Stay off the internet. Get actual jobs. Leave us out of it.
They are NOT Carli’s babysitters Tyler. You can’t just hand someone a baby, expect them to raise that kid for 16 years and give them back to you, when you feel like you’re ready.
Hindsight is 20/20. They seem to have a lot of misplaced feelings and are directing them as some personal crusade against Brandon and Teresa. Though I will say I think he is right about some things here, birth mothers/parents should definitely have aftercare and therapy but that is something that should fall on their medical provider and or the adoption agency. I do think it’s good that they are sharing their feelings and what they’ve learned through their 15yr adoption experience but they’re doing it in such a disrespectful manner that it completely takes away from what could have been helpful information for others. It’s such a dyck move for Tyler to speak on B&T’s fertility issues especially when he admits he doesn’t know exactly what they are. He has no idea what they went or what preparation the did before adopting. Also, not all adoptive parents have trauma, there are lots of couples who adopt and also have biological children of their own.
At this point a gag order needs to be put on these two fools. Yes B&T agreed to a semi-open adoption and allow the initial portion of this to be documented for the show. No where in any paperwork did these people say they were going to participate until the end of time. Nor did they sign on to be a part of teen mom or any of it’s spin offs. These people do not have to bare their lives online and on tv so these guys can make a buck. B&T are actual functioning adults, with careers and lives that they want to live quietly and out of the limelight. They are allowed that because they earned that right.
It’s a real bitch ass thing for Tyler to bring up B&T’s trauma of their infertility journey. He has zero right to speak on any of that. That is their own personal journey and if they want to share it with the world or not, that is their right. How dare he think he has the right to speak on any of that.
Tyler needs to get a real job and move on with his life. To say that they are not her real parents takes some balls. Biology isn’t the only way to be a parent. B&T have loved and tended that child and that makes them her parents. They are the ones that woke with her when she was sick, financially and emotionally supported her, and are doing everything possible to ensure that she has a good life. The fact that he says that they were not happy to adopt is a load of horse shit. Granted they may have wanted to have a family the old fashioned way, but it was not in the cards. Instead of being bitter about it, these people looked to help a child, matter of fact three children (included Cate and Tyler) to have a better life. Their adopting Carly gave all of them a chance at a better life. Unfortunately, Cate and Tyler were all about that lip service. It’s what 15 years later and they are still both uneducated or making any strides to better themselves. Once the show goes away, what are they going to do to support their family. God knows why it’s still on at this point. There is only so much only fans that he can do.
I am baffled and just don’t understand why Tyler thinks it was B&T’s job/obligation to worry about Cate. I think they did a good job and probably more than what they needed to do to help her. It seems like Tyler is bitter that the adoption didn’t make him their responsibility as well. It was her mother’s job to worry about Cate’s mental health.
I just can’t with these idiots. Not sure why they think bashing B&T is going to do anything but make them look stupid and childish. Yes, you put that child up for adoption and it was a blessing to them. It was also a blessing and supposed to be a beginning for you guys to do something good for yourselves. It just goes to show how childish and immature he is that he says he would have not chosen them again? Why, all because they won’t let you make money off of their family? If it’s about knowing and being a part of Carly’s life, I am sure if contact was offline and out of the limelight, that B&T would be better with them. B&T have proven to be a blessing for that child. She has a nice normal life with financial, emotional and overall stability. So to be petty, Tyler would rather he be in a shit situation just to spite B&T because they are tired of the bullshit. Guess he’s proving yet again that they are not fit parents.
The absolute audacity of this Ahole. B&T aren’t the ones with trauma. It’s Tyler, except his trauma has nothing to do with Carly or the adoption. He has abandonment issues and trauma from an unstable and chaotic childhood. The result is his never-ending quest for attention and victimhood with zero accountability. Unfortunately for Carly, B&T, they’re just the easiest targets of Tyler’s attention-seeking behavior. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He’s the reason why he doesn’t have access to Carly. He’s been given 15 years of grace. Most people would have blocked him years ago. He’ll never get it though. He’s too dysfunctional to understand.
Tyler and Caitlyn are creeps. Brandon and Theresa owe them NOTHING! They made a decision, now deal with it like functioning adults. The internet is not the place. Blasting Carly’s parents is disgusting. Putting their private situations out there (your speculation) is disgusting. They need to stop acting like victims. They are so delusional. I HOPE Brandon and Theresa sue them. The stress T&C are causing their entire family is disgusting. Notice the key word…disgusting. That is T&C…disgusting. Also, Caitlyn, your pee should not be radioactive orange. GROSS!
Why is everything about “trauma” and “healing” for him?! It’s like he can’t comprehend that there are normal people in the world. Or even that there are people with problems who don’t scream about their proplems every chance they get.
“as long as safety isn’t in violation or whatever?”
They are protecting her safety… from you nitwits that are constantly trashing them, which could lead some wacko fan to do something terrible. They are so dense. I hate that I read that in his voice, loudly talking over someone else as per usual
You two were so ready to give that baby away that I’m sure B&T didn’t have to agree to an open adoption. They agreed because they are good people. Unlike the two of you, who are and will always be April and Butch’s children. So don’t matter how much money you make as parasites on trash TV, you two will always look like and behave exactly where you came from. The drug house (trailer) with trashy drug-addicted parents. It’s in your makeup. The mental illness, misstreatment of people, evilness. The behavior you two uneducated idiots whose brains stagnated at age 15 are displaying to the people who saved your daughter’s life is beyond cruel. I’m completely done and will be changing the channel from now on. Beyond disgusted.
They continue to show how little they learned from any of the “therapy” they have been a part of.
This is the complete opposite. B&T have taken the high road.
Tyler’s literally saying whatever he can to get a response and itll likely be one from their lawyer.
B&T didn’t want an open adoption because they feared this but never expected it to be this HUGE.
Open adoption isn’t their issue. Didn’t they adopt another child and have a positive relationship with the biological mom? Think I read something like that recently.
Them taking sides eith Dawn yet talk so bad about Carlys parents.
Tyler and Catleyn don’t have a single clue what a healthy relationship is or even what a parent is. They continue to show they made the best choice possible qhen they chose to put her up for adoption.
This is all laughable.
Carlos is the one who will.be affected by this.
I
Hindsight Tyler. We all would do things differently.
At the end of the day you and Cate made the choice to place Carly. BrandonNTeresa have been wonderful parents.
Because you aren’t name calling you think you aren’t bashing them with the things you say? You are. And Carly won’t appreciate that. You’re hurting her family.
And you hated and were shamed by your own parents for their behaviours. Can you not reflect that Carly might feel the same about you and Cate? Only Fans. The Couples Therapy/Reunion shows. You’re both jobless.
Let it go. Wait and see what the future brings. You aren’t helping yourself right now.
He’s hurting Carly too. He just publicly announced that he thinks Brandon and Teresa were forced into adoption and wouldn’t have chosen to adopt Carly if they could have had a biological child. So, he basically told Carly that he thinks her parents settled for her and her brother and wouldn’t have wanted them otherwise. That’s a beyond messed up thing to say hoping a child reads it. I knew he was selfish, but wow. He doesn’t care who he hurts, even if it’s the child he claims to love.
Who the hell does he think he is telling B&T they need to heal for their infertility struggles?
Why don’t C&T go heal for their troubled childhood struggles!?! Or their adoption struggles?! Or their family members’ active addiction struggles!??!
He acts like he had no access to any type of services… dude has been on tv for 15 years. MTV even paid for Butch to go to rehab.. sent Leah…
Not to mention Tyler and Cate are the only couple still together are making more money from the show than any other couple…. he could have easily gotten therapy at any point. He was able to escape his family if he wanted to… he had the resources most 18 years old don’t… even after he bought his SECOND house, he let addict butch and Amber live in his first house in squalor. No one made him take care of them, he could have cut out the “trauma” at any point, but he chose not to. Why is April still in C&T’s life??? That was the trauma from C&T childhood!??!
Cate’s buy pigs and horses… and you don’t have the funds instead to pay for therapy!?!? GTFO…
I mean, adoption could be a considered a way to heal from infertility. It’s just a lot of projection at this point.
Who does Tyler think he is to talk about someone else’s infertility struggles too? Reading this made me so mad! This is exactly why B&T have cut them off! Neither Cate or Tyler understand boundaries. Why don’t they journal or do anything else but put private business out for everyone to see? No one knew that 16 & Pregnant would go on to become Teen Mom. Plus it was not B&T’s responsibility to get help for Cate. They didn’t adopt her & honestly what does Tyler think they could have done for her? They couldn’t just get her therapy without her parent’s permission. Neither Cate or Tyler went on to do anything they promised they would do. I used to feel sorry for them, but not anymore.
Truth!!!!!
OMFG CAN THEY STFU. and how dare tyler speak on a subject he knows nothing about??? i wouldn’t blame b&t for permanently cutting them off!!!
Yeah, and he wonders why they keep him and Cate at arms reach…. oh I don’t know maybe because B&T know that everything they talk to C&T about will be put online.
Also, these people weren’t friends. They were a 30+ year old couple, who wanted a baby, and C&T had a baby that needed a home. That’s it.
C&T have spent years overstepping… B&T have politely just distanced themselves… made it work when it was beneficial for Carly… and now have realized that it’s not anymore…. and have completely blocked them. So his way to get a better relationship is to bash them and makeup theories he doesn’t know.
Well, you know what, Tyler? You need to heal from the fact that it was YOUR choice, your pressure to Cate to put the baby up for abortion if she wanted you to stay, that caused both of you to not have Carly. IT WAS YOUR FAULT and you have zero rights to interfere in Carly’s life now. You just contributed to conceive her and that’s it. You don’t deserve an award for that, it’s just the biological consequence of having unprotected intercourse.
Now you need to STFU, man up and actually raise the three kids you were dumb enough to produce so you can have a replacement for the baby you gave up.
THIS!!!
Tyler needs to realize that Cate wanted to keep Carly, but couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. He was (in her eyes anyway) the only person she could rely on at that point and was TERRIFIED to lose him forever. So she did what he asked.
She also needs to admit this to herself and stop blaming everyone around her when it really is Tyler’s fault.
WOW! They really just make it worse and worse the more they talk about it. They went from the “meh I guess” cast members of TM to the “oh this trash again” pretty quick. Good riddance. Way to publicly bash and shame the good people who raised the child you gave up.
Has Tyler forgotten that B&T were caring for a newborn at that time?
Tyler doesn’t know of anyone who can have their own kids want to adopt??? Um, you do know Maci, right?
It’s high past time for Chucklehead the Mole to shut up and stop dropping his pearls of wisdom. No I don’t disrespect anyone who works hard for a living but if it wasn’t for MTV, Chucklehead and bride of Chucklehead would be asking people if they want fries with their order. No disrespect to anyone in the service industry. You work hard and I am glad some states are recognizing you deserve a living wage.
I’m an adoptive parent. Any ethical agency will make sure that a birth mom is offered counseling services post adoption. We have itemized bills from our adoptions and one of the fees we paid was for counseling services for the birth moms. Also, birth moms are entitled to birth mother expenses both prior and post adoption. It varies by state how much they are eligible to collect, but they aren’t expected to give birth and go back to work the next day. Therefore, they can have bills like rent, food, etc. paid for a period by the adoptive parents. I absolutely cared about how our kids’ birth moms were doing post adoption, but I am not a professional and I was too busy caring for a newborn to take on the role of therapist to them. It’s the agencies job to look after the birth moms in that respect. Not the adoptive parents, like Tyler seems to think. The number one thing that I can do for my kids’ birth moms is to give their babies the best lives that I can. And Tyler is being presumptuous by stating that he thinks B&T need to grieve their infertility. Everyone is different. He has no idea what is in their heads. If they are anything like my husband and me, they are grateful for their journey! We wouldn’t trade our two adopted kiddos for anything in the world, including bio children!
Bess: This is spot on. I am adoptive parent and you nailed it. My husband and I financially supported our daughter’s birthmother when we were matched by our agency. We covered expenses before and immediately after the birth. But that was finite. It was not our responsibility to provide aftercare beyond what we were contracted to do. I still keep in touch with the birthmother and have followed her ups and downs. I have offered emotional support because we care about this person and we want her to succeed and thrive in life. And when my daughter has questions, her birthmother will be alive and well to provide some answers. She is happy to talk to my daughter but only when my daughter is ready. She has enough going on in her life that she doesn’t need to hound us about meeting our daughter.
Cate and Tyler need to do more work. And Tyler, don’t you DARE talk about someone’s fertility journey. You have no idea what is it like. STFU!!!
Thank you! You adopted the infant, not the whole damned bio-family, which is what they seem to have expected. And B&T aren’t qualified to deal with C&T’s problems. One of the hundreds of therapists that they claim to have gone to should have been, but they seem to have fallen short as well.
And the horses haven’t helped.
This makes me wonder if Tyler is just pulling out all of the stops trying to provoke B&T into responding. Like if in his social media addled mind, he might think accusing them of not paying the agency fees intended to provide care to Cate will “force” them to post the receipts or even pursue legal action. In reality, all he is doing is ensuring they never speak to him again and ensuring Carly hates them when she reads all of this.
He’s actually right. B&T wanted a closed adoption and likely only moved to semi-open because Bethany told them they had very little chance of matching if they weren’t open to some contact. Semi-open usually means just sending pictures and updates not visits. This wasn’t the right path for them. And therapy is supposed to be provided to birth moms pretty much all agencies promise that. C&Ts story is very similar to most birth parents which is sad.
Tyler is placing the blame and responsibility of Cate not getting counseling on Brandon and Teresa though so no he’s not right.
Agencies are supposed to pay for the post-birth therapy. It isn’t a direct failure of B&T but it does show that they weren’t following up to make sure that Cate got what they supposedly would have paid for in their adoption contract. C&T likely didn’t know what they were entitled to.
They were taking care of a newborn.
Why would they follow up? That is in no way their responsibility.
Because they cared about C&T as people? And didn’t just fake a relationship with them to get their baby? You hear this story again and again from birth moms. They called or texted me everyday to see if I was ok or if I needed anything. Then I gave them my baby and they disappeared. The birth mother starts to feel like she has a real friendship with the APs and that they care about her as an individual not just as a baby machine. Once she places her baby they drop facade and stop contacting her. If you go into any adoption groups that allow BPs in them you will see how common this situation is. The BPs end up feeling used and mislead and it is really sad.
But, they did everything required of an open adoption. Pictures, updates, visits, handing out their freaking cell phones numbers! No one can argue that this wasn’t a VERY open adoption. That doesn’t give C&T the right to stomp all of the parents’ boundaries and do whatever the eff they want while still demanding access.
These two twits are insufferable.
They own no part of their own regret or Tyler’s new favorite word, trauma.
Per law, Brandon and Theresa don’t owe them 💩. It’s not on them to provide Caitlyn’s aftercare.
Cait has been to therapy several times, why hasn’t she ever brought this up?
Buy a teddy bear and move the fuxk on.
What do these idiots not understand about you gave your baby away! She is no longer yours!! They owe you nothing! You sold her for an MTV paycheck. You are the ones that need therapy. Waiting everyday to hear about B and T slapping them with a slander lawsuit.
They are out of control and losing touch with reality day by day.
They seem to think they are untouchable.
I will say that they didn’t sell Carly for an MTV paycheck. If I remember correctly, they were already going through the adoption process when they signed up for MTV. So, they would have done it regardless and it was only meant to be one $5000 (I believe) paycheck.
They didn’t even know it was going to be a whole series about teen parenting – they thought it was going to be a segment on single episode of the True Life docuseries.
Absolutely. Plenty of case law in Michigan.
Hoping someone can help out… I’ve seen it referenced several times about a past episode where they skipped a visit because T told Cate that Carly was struggling (and asked it to stay private). Cate mentioned it on the show and I’m wondering what episode it was??? TIA
oooh, listen up everybody!!
ol’ scrot chin 🧔🏻🍆 has ‘done his research’ and is ready to educate 📣 the masses. 🙄🥴
seriously, what a complete f*cking assh*le. he and cate can go f*ck themselves. 🖕🏻🖕🏻
Research, learned the word trauma…whichever.
You know, one could also make the point that if Tyler was old enough to have sex and impregnate someone, he was also old enough to grow up, commit to his baby momma and work his rear end off to support a baby. He didn’t want to commit to any of that, and now he is blaming EVERYONE else for the situation he helped create. If he wants to blame any adults, he needs to look no further than his and Cate’s parents. Those are the adults that failed them.
As an adoptee, I say Tyler, you can go ahead and shut up.
C&T have no, literally no, idea what it feels like to be an adoptee, and what it feels like to be an adoptee and know (or find out much later, in my case) what it’s like to know your bio-parents kept other kids but not you. All of this “communication” C&T are trying to do could very well feel like a constant reminder that Carly wasn’t the baby that was kept. And it absolutely flies in the face of logic, I know, because we’ve seen their lives on TV and it’s chaos, but there’s something about not being the one that’s kept that really, really screws with your head. Even if you absolutely, objectively know for a fact that your life is so much better than it would have been, there’s a huge possibility that Carly still feels like she wasn’t good enough, wasn’t important enough, to be kept by her bio-parents. Both my sister and I have this experience with being adopted, and I’ve talked to other adoptees who feel similar. It’s so hard to be the one that wasn’t kept, even if it was for the absolute best reasons, and in the best interests of the child.
B&T are protecting their daughter, who is a teenager, (a hard enough stage of life as it is!) and that is what a parent does. They are focused on their child, not on the media circus or the wants/needs of the bio parents. Their kid is their priority, as she should be.
C&T are making this all about them, rather than all about their child[ren]. Their trauma is valid, but processing it in such a public manner, saying negative things about Carly’s parents, and demonizing B&T for caring about and protecting Carly, is not the way to go.
Throw around your “research” all you want, Tyler, but it means nothing if you can’t respect the boundaries B&T have rightfully set to keep Carly safe, especially emotionally.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
He needs to just stop talking. Forever. Good grief, these two are horrific.
Can MTV just cancel it all already?!
Only way T. and C. BS about this is if all the sites ignore them, no longer give them a platform to spin their B.S.
Just when you think Tyler can’t get any lower, he basically says Brandon and Teresa are jealous of his and Cate’s ability to produce spawn after spawn.
Also, how was it B+T’s responsibility to help Catelynn after the adoption? They weren’t adopting C+T along with Carly.
Came here to say this lol. All Tyler is doing at this point is trying his fucking damndest to get a reaction out of B&T. Tyler is the epitome of a little chihuahua barking and yipping for attention. Somebody give this mf a damn tranquilizer.
He tried ketamine. LMAO
I think what this nitwit is trying to say is, the adoption counselor/facilitator should help the birth parents by providing contacts for different types of help. It’s not financially, physically or mentally any soul’s responsibility to take care of C/T EXCEPT THEIR OWN PARENTS! THAT’S WHO SHOULA BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE TO COMFORT TRAUMATIZED TEENS.
I seriously can’t.
I think he is reflecting actually. HE IS THE ONE who is jealous that Brandon and Teresa adopted Carly and they didn’t keep her. But as far as I know, didn’t he tell Cate he will leave her if they don’t put her up for adoption?? (She should have left his ass right then and there. YOU DO NOT pressure a girl to do anything out of “love”)
And as someone who is childfree by choice (yeah, I know, totally different but still), f*ck you Tyler. You have no right to say to a woman how is she supposed to feel.
Why would it be up to Brandon and Teresa to get Catelyn aftercare? They didn’t adopt Catelyn & are under no obligation to her. I feel like Dawn maybe should have taken it upon herself to handle that aspect. She did know that these were two teenagers in unstable homes. But for whatever the reason he puts Dawn on this pedestal. She should have provided at least a referral to pro bono legal counsel so that they would fully understand the terms of the adoption.
That was then. This is now. And now they are both being complete assholes. They are attacking B & T constantly on social media. This isn’t about Carly anymore. They have interwoven this story of B & T as the masterful villains who tricked them into adoption & themselves as perpetual victims. Ty has always been abrasive to them. They need to file legal papers because Cate & Ty are out of control.
Part of me wonders if they tried to change it or wish they had so that B&T adopt cate instead of Carly – that way they would be out of April house of horrors and get to keep Carly.
OMG when does this end?? Tyler, you are digging yourself deeper and deeper every single time you open your mouth. Blaming their responses to your own bad behavior on their fertility struggles is kind of a new low, even for you.
B&T agreed that it would be ok to appear on one (1) episode of television to document the adoption. They weren’t wild about the idea, but decided the pros of one TV episode and reunion outweighed the cons. And if if there was no follow up after Catelynn’s 16 & Pregnant episode, I’m sure they wouldn’t be having these issues with publicity now. At no point in that decision making process did they consider that C&T would become D-list celebrities or that the one episode of TV they agreed to would spin off to a franchise that would still be going 15 years later. They did not agree to be content for C&T’s storyline indefinitely. This is why they specifically asked not to be – a request C&T have chosen not to honor.
Tyler contradicted every single one of his own deflections when he said that Carly’s brother’s birth month has access. The adoption is not the problem, you are.
Exactly! When they went through the adoption with C&T, it was only going to be a one episode deal. Much like how C&T decided on adoption. And, yes, they did appear on the first season of TM, it was for one episode when they had the first visit. If I’m remembering correctly, I don’t think they appeared after that until the wedding. It was always through pictures and voice overs.
At this point, Tyler is grasping at anything.
Hey ass clown..
Ppl actually DO adopt and are happy about it.
Yes. It happens. Shocker. I know.
Not every adoption is borne of trauma. Not every woman wants to carry and birth when so many children are already in need.
The part that makes it miserable is getting involved with assholes like you and your wife.
No, it’s not Teresa’s responsibility to buy Cate a therapy horse. She didn’t adopt Cate. Cate had 2 parents. And a step dad.
Blame April. April caused mostly all Cate’s problems. April and Cates dad, who’s name escapes me.
Or maybe, maybe blame your damn self. Play back the part where Tyler tells Cate if they give up the baby he’ll stay with her.
But keep talking, big mouth. You’re really making your case here!