It’s been a few months since Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra launched an all-out online tirade against Brandon and Teresa Davis, the parents of their biological daughter Carly. While the Teen Mom stars have remained relatively quiet lately, Catelynn spoke up on her TikTok account on Friday about how difficult it was going through the Christmas season without having contact with Carly.
As The Ashley previously reported back in September, Catelynn publicly announced that Brandon and Teresa have blocked her and Tyler and cut off their contact with Carly, who is now 16 years old. At the time, Cate claimed that Teresa blocked her due to Catelynn sending too many updates and text messages to Carly and her family. For the next few months, Catelynn and Tyler— who placed Carly for adoption immediately after her 2009 birth — continued to call out Carly’s parents for no longer allowing her to have contact with them or their daughters.
On Friday, Catelynn spoke out again.
“Adoption isn’t all cupcakes and rainbows. It’s a lot of rain,” Catelynn wrote. “You know…Adoption is hard…the PTSD is real. The sadness is real.”
Catelynn went on to give an update on the strained relations between Brandon and Teresa and her and Tyler, writing that nothing has changed since the last time she spoke out about the situation.
“Still no contact and completely blocked from her life…all for speaking my feelings,” Catelynn wrote. “Telling her parents how I felt.”
Catelynn went on to write about her struggles to accept the current state of her relationship with Carly.
“I chose open adoption so I wouldn’t have any ‘what ifs’ and now here I sit with all of them,” she wrote. “I don’t wish this pain on anyone ever.”
Catelynn then addressed the fact that Carly may be the one who wanted to cut contact off from her and Ty, but stated that she is not sure, due to Brandon and Teresa refusing to discuss it.
“Now if this is what Carly wants (which we have asked her parents multiple times and have just been ignored then blocked), then we would accept that wholeheartedly and be here when she is (if ever) ready.
“No one ever wants to speak about the hard and the hurt of adoption,” she continued.
“As a first parent, I can tell you there is a LOT [of] hurt and sadness. Sadness and wishing that I will have for the rest of my life. Trauma that I will never be able to [get] rid of. That slaps you in the face at random moments throughout life.”
Catelynn— who is the mother of three daughters with Tyler— went on to write how much she misses Carly.
“I just love her…I miss her…I yearn for her,” she wrote. “That’s something that will never fade.
“Until we meet again my girl,” Cate wrote to Carly directly. “Just know you are loved and thought about EVERY DAY!”
While Tyler has remained relatively quiet lately about his and Cate’s (seemingly one-sided) battle with Brandon and Teresa, he did hit Instagram Live several times in the fall, discussing Carly’s parents at length and talking about how his and Cate’s recent decision to become vocal may affect their future relationship with Carly.
“I don’t think that there’s not anything else they could possibly do,” Tyler said of Brandon and Teresa in September. “They’ve already been upset and angry about a lot of things, but I don’t really think that …there’s any further helping I can do since I’m blocked. There’s not really anything I can do that will make this any worse. They’ve already cut off contact, that’s been established. They have no desire to talk about anything even though I’ve tried…
“I guess I’m not worried [it will hurt Carly]. I’m not really sure it would hurt her,” he said. “I’m not bashing her parents; I’m not calling them names or saying they’re right or wrong. I’m expressing my perspective from a birth parent perspective. I would hope this wouldn’t hurt her. I would hope this is information she wants and desires. I’m not too worried that she’ll be negatively affected by it because the truth it the truth. You can’t get around it. I hope and pray she’s not affected by it. I can’t guarantee that. I wish they would talk to us and say what’s going on!”
Tyler and Catelynn’s adoption turmoil will almost certainly be a storyline for the upcoming season of ‘Teen Mom: The Next Chapter,’ which premieres next month. Tyler has also stated that he and Catelynn plan to start a podcast about adoption and the trauma it brings.
RELATED STORY: France Trips, Funny Photos & Fabulous Barbara: How the ‘Teen Mom’ Stars Celebrated Christmas 2024
(Photos: MTV; TikTok)
84 Responses
Absolutely no one is surprised they got cut off. They behaved the opposite way. Have they not learned that there are consequences when you cross boundaries (the law, the norm, rules, terms etc)? No one is above. No matter how you feel. These people felt they were right & entitled so they just continued.
Ignored the stop signs and might have lost Carly forever. How stupid, selfish can you be? They should focus on what they can change. Instead of breaking lines. Tyler has always been a bit entitled. Like his dad. Remember their wedding and Butch approached Carly? Stupidity like that. You should keep your word. Even when you disagree
Caitlyn and Tyler were informed abt the terms, but have violated them multiple times. Yet get upset when there’s consequences?
How they FEEL is not a justification to cross boundaries. They can feel and think whatever, but they need deal with reality.
It’s not other peoples fault they can not follow rules??
Yes, they were young etc, but if they feel wronged they should stop dragging the family publicly and go to the court.
Who cares if they cry online?
It will not give them access.
People get annoyed with them & feel bad for Carly. She’s entitled to privacy, just like any teen-ager. Is it so damn hard to put her needs above their own?
Carly is not responsible for her birthparents and siblings.
If her siblings cry, C&T failed. They should not be included in the trauma.
The reality is reality. Deal.
I understand their pain for giving up their daughter but they keep making everything about them. Even the texts she shared were all about them and their family and not Carly. Why not simply ask how Carly is doing instead of blasting the family about what you and the other kids are doing, let Carly ask how you guys are.
I’m glad she’s finally figuring that Carly may have been part of the decision. If it was only B&T they would have done it a long time ago.
I feel like Cait is smarter than this. She knows that Carly’s needs are more important than her own. She is unreasonable. She behaves like Carly needs saving? She behaves like Carly wants them to continue speaking abt her online?
They KNOW Carly is safe. In a couple of years Carly is an adult & can do whatever. In all likelihood Carly does not like this attention. Why is the birthparents attacking her parents?
Carly and her parents have always wanted privacy, but that has not been respected (bc we birthed the child…).
Being ignorant and uneducated makes people sometimes cruel. There’s no reasoning with them, because they FEEL a certain way.
They have been blocked and that will not change. It’s like they are trying to blackmail the family for access by going public?
Yes, we can relate to their pain. But even if they feel fooled, betrayed and regret their decision, they need to deal with reality today. They are pretty delulu if they believe Carly supports their behavior.
It’s like they project all their pain onto Carly. But from their behavior you understand that there are serious other issues as well. Why not change the things you can change?
Carly is raised in a conservative environment. Kindness, integrity, boundaries and consequences. Hard work at home and in school. Every day.
What did C&T do in her age??
They prob don’t speek the same lingo.
Carly is not here to please Cait, Tyler and her siblings. I would not be surprised if Carly walks away because C&T create harm by not respecting bounderies.
No, they are very entitled in their pain.
They have worked on boundaries, but seems to struggle? Tyler has these nasty tendencies to put ultimatons on people. And he wants to be right. Quite unreasonable at times. I do belive it has been hard for them. It seems like they didn’t get tools to do life. But they have no right to continue speaking abt Carly in public. Damn, why is basic respect & common sense difficult?
Have no professional talked to them?
C&T only looks for resources that validate their opinion. Ignorance.
I am a birth mom and I can tell you with 100 percent certainty that an open adoption is a totally made up concept with no legal bearing. Adoptive parent can choose such an arrangement but it is not legally enforceable. B & T were willing to grant them limited contact and updates so long as C & T followed the rules they laid out but legally they are not required to do so. Knowing that, C & T should have followed the rules given that they were warned of the consequences multiple times. Technically, all adoptions are closed and this was all explained. What parent in their right mind would allow this to continue? It is not like Carly has a babysitter for 18 years. These are her parents.
Have they ever considered it might have been Carly’s choice??????????
You know, I understand what you’re saying. But even if it wasn’t Carly’s choice to cease contact, her parents have the authority to make decisions on her best interests. If there’s no contact, it’s because her parents thought it would be best this way. Carly doesn’t get to make her own decisions until she is considered adult and for some reason, I find it offensive that C&T were questioning B&T if it was Carly’s decision.
Has anyone tracked to see if this all really started (full on), around the same time Tyler and his wife started his Only Fans page? They are and have always been VERY public. So there is no doubt that Carly’s friends, classmates, etc., all know about it and exactly who he is.
I am an adoptee (full grown adult now) and I absolutely know how different each experience can be. I was adopted at 2 yrs old and I always knew but knew I was different from other kids. I can not imagine how confusing it would have been as a child, to have my biological parents fully involved in my life. Settling in to something like adoption, as a child, is stressful enough, your a child and you don’t have any life experience or understanding of the reason behind, adult’s decision making. You just want to feel loved, safe and wanted.
I would not have minded, once I was a little bit older as an adult, with my own life and feet planted, to meet my birth family, if they had wanted it. It is always nice to know where you come from. But as a child, I just personally feel it’s too confusing and I can imagine, now that Carly is getting old enough, she just wants to live her life with her parents (the ones who loved and raised her and actually look out for her best interest and not securing a story line) with peace and as much certainty as you can have in life at that age.
I might feel differently if Tyler and his wife weren’t always looking to stay relevant.
Good God does this cow ever shut up?!
Why are they still thinking this is newsworthy..I’m tired of seeing them all over the internet, news and etc.
ew, where did all the cate & ty stans come from? are these the same people who egg them on and encourage them when they post their attn seeking sob stories to social?
these two TRULY need to shut up and focus on raising their daughters. as i’ve said before, C & T weird fixation on carly is quite frankly insulting to those three.
**those three being nova, vaeda and rya (pretty sure i got those names right 🤷🏼♀️)
Cancel story catelynn & tyler Cancel mtv
An open adoption is not joint custody. I really think that C & T thought they would have access to Carly as often as they wanted, B & T didn’t even have to give them visits. I think if they weren’t on TV and famous, this whole thing would have gone smoother, because they wouldn’t have a public following and insist on sharing every detail. If they just did all their communication and thoughts privately I think things would be fine. It’s the public bashing and the constant talking about them that would have drove them away. I reckon they think as soon as Carly turns 18 she will just ditch her parents and go live with them. Which is so far fetched and delusional
This is actually quite a solid point, I don’t think C&T actually understand what an adoption is. Truly, they don’t.
Keep abortion legal.
I support B & T one hundred percent. They are acting in the best interest of C, based on the well-documented behavior of two toxic and dysfunctional individuals.
Yes, Cate and Ty were young and had no idea how any of this would play out over the course of the last 16 years. There’s no way they could’ve been 100% prepared for the process of adoption. However, this “we’ll accept being cut off IF” approach is clearly not working. They were granted contact by b&t, it was never a guarantee with a semi open adoption. They could get updates, but visits and direct contact weren’t promised (as far as I know). C&t need to accept what has happened, actually deal with the trauma in therapy, and stop running to social media with all their adoption drama. It just makes them look like they’re playing victim and after 16yrs, I’m over it. I don’t feel bad for them. With all their money and resources from the show, you can’t tell me they can’t get the help they need with the trauma side of things.
I wish people in this comment section (and the writers at The Ashley) would educate themselves more on adoption and the industry. It’s predatory and closer to human trafficking than most of you realize. All of the power lies with the adoptive parents, who are getting exactly what they want with the transaction and losing nothing. Birth parents and adoptees lose so much in the process. It is often sold to birth parents that they will have an open adoption but there is very little legal protection for them if the adoptive parent doesn’t keep it open. I’d highly recommend starting by reading about Georgia Tann to learn about the origins of adoption as an industry, the book ‘Relinquished’ to have a better understanding about birth mother experiences and how they are pressured at incredibly vulnerable times or ‘We Were Once a Family’ to see how much adoptive families are prioritized by social services over birth families and kin.
I have quite a few close friends who are adult adoptees and although each experience is unique, it has never benefited them to be kept from knowing about their birth families (at minimum). Their adoptions were traumatic experiences for them. I feel very strongly that it is harmful to Carly to be kept from her birth family and that it WILL be meaningful for her to know that they wanted her in their lives. C&T very obviously regret their choice as teenagers to relinquish her and that they love her. Adoptees who don’t know these things can only wonder and it effects them a lot. Her adoptive parents may think they are protecting her, but they could really be hurting her. In two years, she’ll be able to make her own decision and I hope she feels empowered to do that. It really wouldn’t surprise me if she reconnects with them or even lives with them at some point in the future.
As someone who is VERY familiar with the “industry” (and yes it most definitely is) there are multiple sides to every story. Nothing is every truly cut and dry and it is absolutely NOT true that all the power sits with the adoptive parents. It can take years and years for an adoption to take place, or it can move swiftly, and everything in between. Adoptive parents have just as many issues as biological parents, it is always completely situational. For every good story, there is an equally not as good story, and that rings true for adoptees, birth parents AND adoptive parents. There is no actual legal standing, anywhere in the US (or anywhere in the world I am aware of) for a *legal* open adoption. Parties can make such an agreement if they all desire to, and if it is most beneficial for the CHILD, but nowhere is it legally binding or even enforceable. It doesn’t matter how beneficial it is for the adults, as bad as that might sound, the child is of greatest concern on this matter. Sometimes this works out wonderfully and other times, it does not. I have seen it not work out well for any party more times than I have seen it work out. Which is why so many families opt for limited (and again, only a verbal agreement because it’s not a legal act and adoption is very much a legal thing) openness, if any at all.
I know just how bad it can go, for everyone involved, and how well it can go too. It will nearly always work out better when both adoptive and birth parents are on the same page and STAY ON THE SAME PAGE, while choosing to make the wellbeing of the child(ren) a priority on that page. When one party chooses to make themselves the priority, the shit hits the fan, every single time. The one who loses the most in that scenario is always the adoptee, even if the other parties also lose something.
Also, social services absolutely prioritizes biology over quality of life, in nearly every single case. This is a huge reason why entities like CPS and the family court system need a complete overhaul (and yes, even the adoption industry). Children are, far too often, given back to birth families or forced to spend time/stay in contact with them at the detriment of the child’s wellbeing. I deal with them on a daily basis, have for years and will continue to until my last breath on this earth. Social services almost never puts the wellbeing of the child as a priority, no matter how many times they say they do. Most of my children, both adopted and foster, have come specifically from situations like this. Nearly all of my foster children who do not move on to adoption (and even some who have started the process) get placed back with biological family and quite a few of them end up right back in the system. Why? Because the system thinks biology matters more than quality of life, full stop. This happens in adoption cases just as often as it does foster cases, too.
Adoption situations run from one extreme to the other and hit everywhere in between as well. So, yes, there are adoptees and birth parents who definitely have horror stories, but there are also adoptive parents who have just as many. There is no cookie cutter answer or experience, there is no “most” that can be applied, each situation is different even if it shares some similarities. I have children who come from birth parents like C&T, children who come from birth parents like Jenelle, children who come from birth parents that passed away and children who come from birth parents that just couldn’t be (for any number of reasons). Some of those birth parents make my life and the lives of the children a complete and utter hell (like C&T do, or Jenelle would), some have done nothing but make the child’s wellbeing a priority and some struggle but eventually get there.
Carly CHOSE to cut contact by herself. Cate got mad about it and continued contacting B&T to the point that they had to sever contact too. If Carly later chooses to contact C&T, she can, and B&T have said this, repeatedly, it is 100% her choice. My children have the same choice. They aren’t forced to be in contact with biological family if they don’t want to be. I will help them develop whatever relationship they want with biological family, but only if they want to, I will NEVER force them. There are only certain situations where I need to step in and say “nope, that’s it, you’re done”-and if I were B&T and C&T were continuing to harass my child after she said she didn’t want contact anymore, you can bet your sweet ass that would be one of those times.
Any time a C+T adoption article pops up, I look forward to reading your take.
Side note: I’ve always been under the impression that the only legal difference between and open and closed adoption is that a closed adoption has the records sealed (so the biological parents don’t know who adopted the child and the adoptive parents know little if anything about the biological family) and an open adoption just means that information is known/available.
There is no legal definition for “open adoption”, because it’s not actually legal (at least not in the sense you’re thinking anyway). When most people discuss “open adoption” what they’re really talking about is an adoption that involves some kind of contact between birth parent(s) and the adoptive family/adoptee. That some kind can really mean all sorts of things including pictures, visits, regular check-ins, etc.. It should never be done unless it’s in the best interest of the child, though, which is why it so often goes badly. People want to consider the feelings of the birth parent(s) and adoptive parent(s), but have a hard time also reconciling that with the feelings and actual needs of the child. It can work out, don’t get me wrong, I have seen it work out plenty of times. Many of the kids have had some level of contact with birth/biological family, while others have had none. While I like to consider the feelings and needs of the biological family as well, I will *always* put the needs of the child over anyone else, including my own desires. Sometimes that means keeping a level of contact I may not want, because it’s what is best for the child (though those times, truth be told have been very limited and temporary). In this particular case, some level of contact is NOT what is best for Carly, we’ve all watched it backfire for years now. Regardless of how C&T feel, or even how B&T feel, this adoption should have always been closed, imo. (and we can say that now, with a great deal of hindsight)
Adoption records themselves are a whole different matter, they can be closed or open and those depend entirely on the desires of the adoptive family and the birth parent(s) and usually have little to nothing to do with the child’s desires unless they are closed due to a potential safety risk (which is really not at all common).
Adopting from foster care is very very different than adopting a newborn through a private adoption agency. Your experience as a foster/adoptive parent is going to be different than the experience of birth parents who close to place their child for adoption because they were kids with no resources. You may not like C&T but they didn’t lost custody of their child through abuse or neglect. They aren’t bad parents like Jenelle, Amber or Farrah. Unless you know Carly personally, it is completely inappropriate for you to be talking for her. She is a teenager who you don’t know and you don’t know how she feels about her biological family. You don’t know the reason B&T cut off C&T any more than C&T do.
My experience runs the entire spectrum when it comes to both fostering and adoption. I have adopted children at birth, I have adopted children from birth right on up to age 18 (actually, 19 was the oldest age, but that’s irrelevant, really). I have also fostered children of all ages, some only for a season, some for a lifetime and some lead to eventual adoption. I don’t just speak out of my ass about it. I know the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful and everything in between. I know what it’s like to have a good relationship with birth/biological families, no relationship at all, and yes, sadly, even bad ones.
C&T are absolutely bad parents when it comes to Carly (and they’re also not her parents, ftr). For years B&T asked them, politely, to please back off, stop selling the story, stop posting pictures, stop talking about the contact they did have with Carly because it was detrimental to her and causing her harm and was causing their children issues at school. Any adult that can ignore that, is acting like a bad parent. Any adult who can see the detriment they are causing and still pull the “I do what I want” line, is an asshole, full stop.
We do know that Carly cut contact, because even Cate has said that Carly stopped communicating after Cate bombarded her repeatedly with messages when Carly said she didn’t want to meet up this year. Both B&T and C&T have stated this, that Carly had slowed and then cut off all contact. Cate even said this is why she was harassing Theresa, that she could no longer contact Carly directly, because she blocked her. B&T only recently stopped C&T from being able to contact them directly as well because, again, after YEARS of asking them to back off and leave the family alone, they chose to continue with the “we do what we want” mantra. Well, this is what happens when you take that stance, now they’re cut off completely and it started with Carly telling them to knock it off. We know this is *exactly* the reason because both sides have stated this, numerous times. Cate is the one now trying to say “I don’t know why” when just a few short months ago, she knew exactly why and was busy ranting online about it.
FFS these two put more focus into the daughter they do not have than they do the three they have. Do you not recognize the issues this could cause the three girls they are raising, at least two of which are perfectly capable of seeing all this play out on the internet?
You say they’re bad parents to Carly and then say they’re not her parents. So which one is it? Interesting that I haven’t heard or seen any of the things you mentioned. When did Catelynn say that Carly cut direct contact with her? This all sounds like made up stuff from a show fan who doesn’t like this particular couple. frfr
Did you even bother reading any of the other stories posted here in the last year or so about them? (most of which stem from Cate’s rants on various social media posts and trash rags she sells her story to). That’s a rhetorical question, because clearly you haven’t.
The reason Cate was harassing B&T and sending them constant messages (and this is coming from HER, not me, not anyone else, but Cate’s own rant) was because Carly stopped communicating with her and blocked her after she sent too many messages. She literally did a whole shpeal about how upset it made her that she had to resort to contacting B&T instead of Carly directly. It’s literally here on this website, you can’t be that damn lazy, lol.
I have never been a fan of the show, I have always maintained that it’s exploitative of all participants, but especially all of the children. I don’t like this couple because of the way they treat Carly and her parents, full stop. I don’t like people who treat children badly in any way, I don’t honestly give a crap who they are. I believe these two could have done a lot better, could have used their experience to help others and could have made a lot of different choices in life. But, rather than use what they’re feeling (which I also think they’re fully entitled to feeling and I understand) to mold their future and the futures of their three daughters into something positive…..they choose to exploit a child that is not their child, bash, belittle and denigrate her and her family and show absolutely ZERO respect for any of them. That, everyone should have a problem with, even if they like C&T or sympathize with them.
If someone tells you, “please don’t share photos or information about my child online”, it shouldn’t take more than one ask for you to not be an asshat. They’ve been doing it for years (and yes, the evidence of that is also here on this website, seriously a quick search will show you ALL of it).
I do read the stories posted here. From what I read Caitlyn said the exact opposite of what you’re saying. Caitlyn said that Carly asked why they couldn’t see each other more and that’s why Caitlyn believes they were cut off. Like…. You’re literally the only person saying these things.
Carly is not a little baby. She is 16. Let’s face the facts. When Carly was too young to voice an opinion, Brandon and Theresa gave Cate and Tyler a lot of access. More access than most birth parents could even dream of. How many birth parents get to have their birth child in their wedding party? How many have gotten multiple visits? Cell phone access? Not many, to your point.
But, Cate and Tyler got all of that when Carly was young. So, now when Carly is 16, you think her parents have all of a sudden reversed course? A 16 year old could reach out to them if she wanted to. She hasn’t done that. Why?
The adoption industry has a ton of issues. But, Cate and Tyler got more access than they originally asked for. They were not misled about that. But, they have trounced all over Carly’s boundaries because they felt that it was their right. In Tyler’s own words, he can do what he wants. Here are the consequences of doing what they want.
I have done a lot of reading on adoption over the years and you are 100% correct about it basically being human trafficking. Adopting from foster care is one thing but private adoption agencies are actually incredibly predatory and unethical. They prey on young, poor, vulnerable girls and promise anything and everything to get them to sign and once the papers are signed they can cut all contact. It’s also allowed to exist because of classism. Most people don’t care about rich mostly white couples preying on young poor teens.
Children aren’t possessions, they are people. I get that they may not like it but B&T need to realize that Carly does have a biological family. It’s not like B&T adopted her from foster care because T&C lost custody, they adopted her at birth. They also agreed to a semi open adoption and have now changed their minds which is not okay. Carly deserves the chance to know her biological parents and siblings whether B&T find them annoying or not. Carly has an adoptive brother and she has biological sisters. Especially at 16 it should 100% be her choice to talk to or see her bio siblings/family. Idk, based on everything T&C have said, it seems like Carly is being raised in a super strict and very religious household and I’m betting that has everything to do with T&C being cut off. I mean….. What 16 year old doesn’t have access to the internet in the year 2024??
I agree with you. I don’t think cate and Tyler could really understand how life changing it would be. They expected to be in the loop about Carly. They were so young. Brandon and Teresa always rubbed me the wrong way. I understand they are religious and that’s fine, but I would never have chosen people with such a stick up their asses. Yes, cate and Tyler need to stop. I don’t really think most of us can understand what it’s like to give a child to someone else at such a young age though.
But you’re assuming that they are keeping her away from them maybe Carly doesn’t want to see them does anybody ever stop and think about that? Maybe Carly doesn’t want anything said because her bio parents do nothing but plaster everything online. They were asked from the beginning, not to post anything about her and them online and that’s all they’ve done. They couldn’t respect the wishes of her parents and I’m not talking to her bio parents because they are not her parents Brandon and Teresa. They raised her taking care of her. They’ve done all the hard work. Plus people gotta remember what open the adoption means it doesn’t mean you get to see this child whenever you want. I’m not saying that it can’t hurt. I’m sure it kills them not seeing her but if you really wanted to see her why not follow the couple simple rules that were asked of you to protect Carly’s privacy and Brandon and Teresa’s they all have that right just because you want to be on TV and make your income that way doesn’t mean everybody else wants that.
So, Cate and Tyler get to do and say whatever they want, be openly disrespectful and rude to Brandon and Theresa, stomp all over some very reasonable boundaries, but you think all of that should be overlooked? Right…
Do you actually think that Brandon and Theresa actually cut contact because Catelynn “shared her feelings”? After 16 years of allowing contact, you think that’s what happened? Come on.
Before I continue I need to specify that there is no actual legal stance on open adoption, it is not an actual thing from a legal standpoint in the US (or much of the world, that I am aware). It may merely be something verbally agreed upon, and even if put into writing, is still not legally binding by any involved party.
What they agreed to is *some* contact, *possible in person visits* and *some updates*, for the first five years. That is literally ALL they agreed upon, both verbally and even in writing, and it was to be based solely on what is best for Carly, no one else. Neither couple is legally obligated to continue with that even beyond day one, much less beyond the five years they all chose to agree on. All four of them were well aware of this, despite the obvious ignorance (simply means not understanding something, it’s not an insult) of the two teens giving a child up for adoption, this point was made VERY clear.
Carly herself cut contact, not Brandon and Theresa. Brandon and Theresa told Cate and Tyler they needed to back off a bit, years ago, because it was negatively affecting Carly. They chose to ignore that, and despite them not wanting to, B&T kept in contact with C&T for years anyway, with updates, photos and even visits. This was not in the best interest of Carly, but they still made every effort to accommodate C&T and their desires (not needs, desires). Do you know how truly difficult it is to deal with this kind of situation? I do, personally, and am dealing with it now with some of my kiddos. It is HEARTBREAKING to watch, knowing that the biological family and the things they do and say are hurting, or even have the potential to hurt, your child.
She may be biologically related to C&T, but she is not their daughter. They can’t seem to let that go, and now they are watching it backfire. Carly is old enough now to make her own decisions. SHE cut off contact with them when Cate kept sending too many messages, too many pictures, too much of everything. Carly is a child and doesn’t need to have that crap forced on her. B&T had to finally put their foot down to ensure contact was severed, because C&T refused to listen, again, for YEARS to pleas that they need to back off some and stop putting this family in the spotlight so often.
Carly has decided whatever openness there was to the adoption should be severed and if she wants to contact her biological family moving forward that is HER decision to make, full stop. She’s not being raised in a super religious (they are somewhat religious but definitely not super, lol) or strict household, lmao, that’s something C&T have said because they want to blame B&T for Carly choosing to cut off contact. It’s easier to say that B&T don’t approve of their lifestyle or things they do and say than it is to admit that Carly is fed up with them and just wants to navigate her life as a teen without the constant stories posted all over the internet about her by C&T. C&T still want to make money off Carly and she’s done letting them.
Very well said.
I would only add it has always been about what Cate and Tyler want not about what is best for Carly.
I think the surge in contact from Cate and her not respecting boundaries of late reflects a panic she is feeling that as Carly nears the age of consent, she may choose to go no contact and Cate won’t be able to blame Brandon and Teresa anymore.
So B&T should negate all boundaries for C&T?!? Yeah, that’s a hard no. They were given boundaries that they crossed time and time again with no regard to B&T and, most importantly, Carly. B&T have a wonderful relationship with their son’s bio mom. Why? Because she doesn’t cross boundaries and do what she wants in regard to THEIR child. You’re delusional to think that B&T aren’t doing what parents are SUPPOSED to do and shielding her from all of this bullshit.
“Adoption isn’t all cupcakes and rainbows. It’s a lot of rain,” umm cate I don’t think that phrase has been said, ever…
“I was blocked all for speaking my feelings”… yes, because as an adult, we have to control what we SAY, no matter how we FEEL. It’s called *maturity*. Especially when kids are involved(cough cough amber) you have to be incredibly sensitive and careful when you speak about your negative feelings. Well now we k
Only toxic and dysfunctional people claim they were cut off/blocked “just for speaking their feelings.” That’s some complete nonsense and shows a total lack of self-awareness. Both Cate and Tyler are co-dependent and are addicted to the attention they get from the adoption. And the fact that they couldn’t maintain a relationship Brandon and Theresa despite the countless chances they were given says everything. Very little was asked of them, but they’re so unused to healthy relationships with boundaries that they had no idea how to respect other people.
The only reason C & T were chosen for the show was because they added a new twist of putting their child up for adoption. If they had chosen to keep Carly, I doubt they would have been on the show. They wouldn’t have had MTV $$$. They wouldn’t be living the lifestyle that the now have and because of that lifestyle, they think that they should not have put Carly up for adoption. If fact, I doubt that they would even still be together today with being teen parents with no education and a dysfunctional family. B & T made the right choice to shield THEIR daughter from these nut jobs.
Doubtful they’d be together since Tyler told Cate if she kept Carly he’d leave her.
I feel so badly for Carly. These two fucks only care about exploiting her for ratings and attention. They can cry all they want about mistreatment, but they’re obviously the problem since B&T have no issue with their son’s bio mom. And all those texts Cate sent before being blocked were all “me, me, me” and not ONE was asking about Carly. And she was asked to stop sending those texts BEFORE she got blocked. I even distinctly remember an episode where they called Dawn and asked her how they could get B&T and talk to them more and even SHE told them to ask about Carly and not just talk about themselves.
They may not be as bad as their parents were to them with the addiction and alcoholism, but they’re causing a whole different kind of trauma and mental anguish to their children. I wonder how they’re going to react when the other 3 ALSO want nothing to do with them, cuz I can see that coming, too, in their future.
No matter what the reasons were, Tyler and Catelynn gave Carly up for adoption. They did that. They signed the lines they made it official, they did it. I’m sorry and I’m not bashing their choice. But people make it work all the time. Young and old, hard lives and easy ones. People make unexpected pregnancies happen ALL THE TIME. I’m not bashing them, they made their choice and to each their own. But they did it. They need to focus on the children they do have before they lose them too. They need to grow up.
When Carly turns eighteen and they start harassing her to “have a relationship” with them, I hope she immediately files for a restraining order (or whatever similar thing she can) and uses rhe YEARS of them publicly speaking about her and her parents as evidence.
I’m so fed up with this b*tch and I have never met her. I can’t imagine how fed up Brandon, Theresa and Carly must be of her constant whining and disrespecting of boundaries
So sad using your kid for storyline content. Her and Amber. Impeccable timing as the new season is about to start. Disgusting.
Way to build a healthy safe relationship. SMH.
You know Cate you are very strong person you and Tyler came through a long way and very proud of you don’t let these comments get to you because 1. They don’t know what it’s like to go through what you went through. 2. They must never saw the first show you ever did. 3. They jealous because they watching you and talking shit. You know I was adopted too I had to be adopted at 5 years old I’m 33 now and understand things. Don’t let these people get to you. Good job Cate you got it and thank you for telling us how you feel and doing the show because it do help some people and I’m one of them. Keep up the good work. I hope things get better though. Stay strong
FFS, you have THREE daughters at home! How do you think they will feel about you banging about your first born on and on and on? Girls will grow up and start to resent you this. Your posts to B&T were literally just telling them how much YOU had fun and they didn’t care about that. If you cared about Carly SO MUCH, maybe you should have, idk, asked about how she is doing and not just bang on about your “perfect lives”. They are her PARENTS, not someone who just took her in and will give her back whenever you please. (Which I am sure their fans still tell them about….that she will come back running)
At least Tyler shut his mouth. You aren’t making yourselves any favors speaking publicly about this. Let Carly LIVE. And the life she chose is away from cameras and away from media attention. Respect that finally.
as an adoptive parent I fully believe this may of been Carly’s decision and Theresa and them are supporting her. Carly is a teen and a girl, Her hormones are going crazy and she’s probably has seen her birth parents on tv, online, friend etc and now feels like they discarded her.
I have an open adoption but nowhere in the agreement does it say how often, many, or when I have to send pics etc, I don’t then that’s my choice as her parent now.
Wait until Carly turns 18 and still wants nothing to do with these muppets.
and they will still blame B & T for all eternity.
I am so tired of people thinking that sharing their feelings is a “get out of jail free” card. Sharing your feelings is often an emotionally immature and selfish excuse to avoid the natural consequences of the words spoken. Your feelings matter to you more than anyone else. While many of us try to respect the feelings of others, too many people seem to think their feelings carry much greater weights with another person than is actually the case.
Cate, hon, when you were sharing your feelings, were you thinking about Carly’s feelings? Or her parents? Yes sweetie, Brandon and Teresa are Carly’s parents—not you. In the hierarchy of importance of feelings here it goes: Carly. Then Brandon and Teresa. Then the children you are parenting. Then Cate and Tyler. You are 4th rung of importance.
Please, stop speaking publicly about Carly in any way. This includes her parents. Anything negative you speak about B&T only hurts Carly. Instead focus on your other daughters. Focus on yourself and your wellbeing. I think if you spent time taking care of your full health—mental, physical, and spiritual—you would find great peace, joy, and acceptance. Be the best version of yourself and maybe one day Carly will choose to build a relationship with you, Tyler, and the little girls. Be better and do better.
Adult feeling should never be put above children. Thinking C&T should put B&T feelings above their own kids is absolutely nuts. Might I remind you that B&T were the only ones who were adults when the adoption happened. They knew C&T were teenagers( about the same age as Carly is now) and that C&T wanted an open adoption….. which they agreed to and are now going back on their word. C & T are allowed to have feelings about being told one thing and receiving another. And they are in fact allowed to share their hurt about being cut from Carly’s life when they were told they wouldn’t be. I don’t understand all the love for B & T when they, along with Dawn were actually kinda manipulative with the whole adoption. Also, they didn’t respect that C&Ts parents didn’t want an adoption but now that they’re the parents and it’s their family they want respect from C&T? Weird how that works… didn’t give respect but demands it in return.
How did Cate and Tyler not get an open adoption? It’s limited contact at the parents’ discretion, not shared custody. How many birth parents have the adopted parents’ cell phone number and were allowed to have the child be a bridesmaid? They got way more than what could be expected and more than they originally asked for.
Weird that you think C&T’s parents should have ANY say whatsoever about a child that isn’t their child to begin with. That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works. C&T’s parents would have absolutely ZERO say in any state in the US (and most of the world for that matter) if their children (as they did) chose to give a child up for adoption. That baby is not their baby, they don’t get to decide if their kid is “permitted to give a baby up for adoption”, what kind of horse shit is that? There is no need for “respect” from B&T for them and their opinions on the adoption, they weren’t involved in it, and it’s a good thing they weren’t since none of them were very good parents themselves.
A baby is a person, not an object or possession. C&T treat Carly as if she is a possession someone stole from them. I totally understand them having feelings, of all kinds, and I respect that they have them and wish them to be heard. It’s very healthy to admit that those decisions have a lifelong impact. Sometimes it’s easier to deal with and sometimes it hits you like a pile of bricks-it’s okay to talk about that. What isn’t healthy is ignoring the impact sharing those feelings may have on others, how you share them, what you say, the way you go about it, etc… I’m not talking about B&T here, either, because they too are grownups and can deal with their own feelings on the matter however they wish. There is a literal child, a person, a living sentient full being, who is going to be (and is) affected by the choices people around her make. That includes the choices that C&T have made VERY public (and got paid quite decently to do so, of course, and continue to get paid every time they “share their feelings”), which puts a spotlight on a teen who is just barely really getting into those teen years. It’s hard enough to navigate adoption and everything that can entail, all the baggage that might come with, having other biological family members out there and maybe not always knowing how you feel about ALL of it. Now, top that off with being a teen (and ALL that goes with that) whose parents want to protect her, while the biological relatives want to play tug of war. Come on now, I know you’re a reasonable person who can see that Carly cutting off contact herself was a big step towards “LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE”. I’m here for it, personally, and proud of Carly for being able to say she needs space. I’m proud of B&T for finally giving her that space by ensuring contact was severed until Carly chooses to change that. It’s something that I think they should have done a long time ago after the third time C&T chose to ignore the pleas to back off a bit.
If what Catelynn is saying is an accurate representation of what has occurred, I don’t think anyone is 100% in the right. Catelynn needed to accept that Carly is not her daughter and she can’t send continuous updates, constantly say that she misses and loves her etc. That said, I don’t know if Brandon and Teresa ever asked for Catelynn to stop. If so, and she ignored them, then I can understand how they feel. I do think, however, that they should have sent Catelynn a letter explaining the situation, rather than just ghost her (assuming that’s what they did).
They asked her stop numerous times. They asked her to stop posting pictures of Carly. They asked her to stop taking about them on tv. They asked her to stop posting about them on social media. They asked her to stop harassing them. She won’t. She doesn’t care about how they feel. She is only concerned with how she feels.
AND their paycheck, which requires their “drama” and”trauma”….
B&T asked C&T to stop, for years, even telling them how it was making Carly sad and affecting their family life, their kids school life, etc.. C&T have, for years, chosen to ignore that and even go as far as to declare they can do whatever they want and they will.
Carly is the one who cut off contact. She chose not to have a meetup with them this last time, because she didn’t want to go. Shortly after that, she slowed down and eventually cut contact. B&T only finally stepped in to ensure all contact was severed relatively recently. Before that, despite C&T not listening and not respecting Carly or her family, they still allowed some contact. Carly made the choice to stop contact, so Cate started repeatedly contacting B&T because she could no longer contact Carly directly. Despite being told to knock it off, she kept it up. C&T both ramped up the amount of times they “told their story” to whatever media outlet was buying it, all the posts to various social media sites and finally B&T said enough is enough.
It takes a few second search to see the countless times C&T have gone against the best interests of Carly. It’s honestly baffling, to me, that B&T let it go on so long without severing all contact years ago. I’ve had to do the same to biological relatives of my children, it’s not an easy decision to make, but sometimes it’s absolutely necessary for the child’s wellbeing.
Idk, I might be in the wrong here, but I want to ask, how can you miss something (someone) you’ve never had? I’m not sure how long ago or if it was the last visit that they did have that they were Kate because cate decided last minute, she wanted to make a scrapbook for Carly, while Carly and family were already waiting. When she literally had no job and plenty of notice and could have made the scrapbook way in advance or planned to give her an actual thoughtful one at their next visit? I’m just saying, I was a surrogate mom and I get to see my surrobabies once a year on their birthday. My contact was completely anonymous and that’s what we agreed on, because I knew that I wasn’t keeping the babies, they were not mine and I was fully aware of that. When the time came, and the babies were born, mom had a change of heart and we started communicating. I got to spend the first 3 months of the babies’ lives pretty close to them as I was pumping breast milk for them and I got to hold and cuddle as much as I wanted, but they were not my babies. They had their own parents. They moved back home and we still communicate and I get pics of them often, but I don’t feel like I love them and I miss them, because I’ve never had them long enough to miss them… Am I wrong for that? I feel more so like Cate just wants to make this about herself to use as a pass for not doing anything productive in her life or even be there for the kids she actually has at home.
Im assuming as a surrogate, that you are not carrying your biological baby but someone else’s implanted embryo. Correct? And surrogates usually get paid. Correct? And the family hiring the surrogate usually has money and resources. Correct? And because of that, being a surrogate and handing the baby over to a family that paid you to be an incubator, is TOTALLY different from an accidental or forced pregnancy as a teen in a really shitty situation. Being 15 or 16, scared, pregnant, poor and having dysfunctional & unsupportive families, is apples and oranges to what a surrogate goes through.
You don’t have to deal with all the trauma because it is an arranged event with excited adults wanting a baby. I am a mom. If I had to give up a baby for adoption, my heart would have been broken forever. I would think about that baby/person all the time. You carrying someone else’s baby, usually for money is NOT the same thing as giving up a baby for adoption due to a crap situation. Unfair to compare.
Many parents were forced to give up their babies due to life circumstances, NOT because they didn’t want to keep their child. Some parents who give up their babies NEVER get over it. And let’s not forget about the trauma many adoptees have experienced after feeling abandoned, rejected or not feeling “whole” by not knowing their bioparents. Many adoptees and birth parents never get over the loss from my experience.
I appreciate your surrogacy journey and the fact that you are able to help families who have means, but please do NOT compare what you do with a couple of scared, desperate teens forced to give up a baby that they might have wanted to keep if life, family & financial circumstances had been different.
I can not upvote your comment enough!! It is the absolute truth! To try to compare being a paid surrogate and placing a child for adoption is ludicrous!!! Those two situations are so different they are not even in the same hemisphere. Cait and Tyler get a lot of hate on these boards and imo it is unfair. Do I agree with everything they have said and done over the years? No, but what many people fail to consider is how unjustly 2 kids were taken advantage of and lied to by the adoption agency AND the adoptive parents. We are a family who has been blessed with multiple children through adoption, so we do have our fair share of first hand experience with adoption. Unfortunately we have seen the same scenario played out more times then we can count. There are adoption agencies (Bethenny among the worst) who will do or say anything to get a healthy, white newborn because they bring in the highest price. There are also always eager potential adoptive parents who will agree to and promise anything to get a healthy, white newborn baby. Promises are made that the adoptive parents have NO intention of keeping and Brandon and Teresa are/were such adoptive parents. Adoption agencies like Bethenny and adoptive parents like Brandon and Teresa are what gives adoption a bad name/perception that other adoptive families and birth parents have to deal with on a fairly regular basis.
Excuse my ignorance, but I’m confused as to how B&T lied and made promises they never intended to keep. I always assumed that C&T being on television for 16 years were what caused the open-ness of the adoption to change. I haven’t watched the ep of 16& pregnant since it initially aired so certainly I don’t remember the terms of the adoption.
I was under the impression that B&T were happy to keep C&T involved in Carly’s life but didn’t want her/themselves featured or discussed on the show. I also thought C&T continually pushed for more of a relationship with Carly than B&T found comfortable. Am I mistaken?
From my very limited knowledge base on this situation, it seems to me that the show really cost Cate and Tyler (and the younger girls) the chance to continue a relationship with Carly. Well, that and Cate & Tyler’s behavior.
Very good answer . I believe you are absolutely correct.
The difference is that Cate gave birth to a biological child. She didnt want to give up her baby. She had no choice because she was a kid herself and her living conditions was not a healthy environment for Carly. Cate and Ty worked hard to get out of the environment they grew up in. This journey was filled with alot of pain and struggle individually and together. They chose Teresa and Brandon after the couple agreed to open adoption. Cate and Ty always wanted to keep a relationship with Carly so that they wouldnt go through life wondering if she was ok, and that she would not go through life questioning who she is. This young couple always thought about Carly and loved her from day one. Cate and Ty have built a life together and have 3 additional daughters that look like Carly and is a constant reminder of the biological daughter that they had to give up for her sake. Your experiences one of an adult making a conscious decision every time you are a surrogate. You have mentally adn emtionally detatched yourself. Very different.
Actions have consequences, and Carlys parents are protecting her and themselves from the C &T circus and harassment (if its Carly who wants to cut off contact, B&T arent saying). B&T have been kind and cooperative for 16 years. They don’t want to be on TV and public figures, nor do they want Carly to be.
C&T have been unreasonable and spent most of their 2024 year going on long winded rants about the situation. They could be doing anything else, and that would be more productive with their time. Get a job or hobby, call the IRS, take care of your other kids…etc.
I don’t like Carly adopt parents
They probably don’t think very much of you either 👍
Or proper spelling and grammar.
They keep talking about information. What information does Tyler have that is so imperative to give Carly that he sacrificed his relationship with her for?
They think Carly needs to hear their thoughts on her adoption, B&T and how Dawn lead them astray? How they had a bunch of Not Carly’s to compensate for Carly OG?
What exactly do they have to tell her that’s so damn important?
These two are pathetic. Not only that, they are just not very bright. They lack the maturity to assume adult responsibilities as simple as paying their taxes on time. Just looking at Tyler with his clothes on makes me cringe. They have three children to bring up to be responsible adults. Time for them to grow up.
Those two will just never learn 🤦🏻♀️
Carly cut contact. I have no question after i saw those horrible updates cate was sending her. It had zero empathy.
Carly,
Check out these great things we are doing with the kids we kept. Wish you were here but your not sense we gave you away.
Smooches,
Seriously hth is she supposed to take that. Kid is 15 and if she wanted to contact them she would.
Cate’s biggest mistake has been in expecting a lasting bond to exist between her and Carly’s parents. Brandon and Teresa didn’t adopt Cate and Ty, and they certainly aren’t responsible for protecting anyone but Carly in this situation. Cate may see it as sharing her feelings, but Brandon and Teresa see it as unhinged enough to keep their daughter far away.
Carly is 16 now so if she wanted to contact them I’m sure she could find a way. Use a friends phone to contact them. It’s not like they’re hard to find bc social media. Stop posting all of this wild shit about her and her parents online for everyone to read. Ease up!!
I think B & T are wrong. Catelynn’s mom wanted them and the agency to have no contact with her 16 year old daughter and they continued and took her grandchild. The adoption was never arranged fairly with proper contact afforded to the birth family for the time it was rubber stamped. B&T were not good candidates for domestic adoption in the 21st century. They were fully aware of the show they were filmed taking her on the sidewalk. You can’t go back on your word cause you didn’t realize..
Nobody at that time thought the show would last 16 years.
As far as they know, this was a one episode documentary about adoption.
Because C&T were minors, B&T couldn’t take Carly in the hospital.
Yes, B & T were aware of the show BUT they have stated previously that they thought it was a one season deal. They had no idea that it would go on for 20 years. That is when they insisted that Carly not have her life on MTV.
C&T were not taken advantage of. Go back and rewatch. EVERYTHING was explained to them. It’s not B&T’s fault they assumed instead of getting clarification on the details of the adoption. And all they had to do was follow the rules that CARLY’S PARENTS set before them. Don’t discuss us on TV. Don’t post her pictures. Not fucking hard. And what did Tyler do? Posted her photos and stated on camera “I don’t care what they have to say”. They’re LUCKY they weren’t blocked way before this. Had I been her adoptive mother, I would have blocked and they would have received a cease and desist and likely a restraining order.
Can they take legal action? Did Catelynns Mom ever sign the papers for her 16 year old daughter? Giving away a baby in a parking lot is so shady and they were just kids. They have a point
No, it was entirely legal. And you can’t take 16 year old back anyway.
It was explained in their book that Butch and April showed up in court to try to protest the adoption and get custody of Carly themselves. If memory serves, Cate was assigned a guardian ad litem to represent her interests, since she was a minor at the time. Obviously April and Butch’s petition was dismissed and B & T were allowed to finalize the adoption.
Is being able to force a 16-year-old to parent against their wishes really a great arrangement? Because that would be the outcome of being able to veto a minor’s decision to place a child for adoption.
Look, I’m truly sorry that Cate is feeling bad during Christmas. But how sad for the Not Carlys that she decide to focus on the child she placed for adoption 15 years ago, and not how happy she could be with the children she has.
I think Cate and Tyler are so out of touch with how people handle things that they think that the way to get B&T to engage is to pretty much harass them. They have asked for space and C&T have done the opposite. Look I don’t know if just respecting them would have eventually led to B&T reopening the door, but I do know that the way C&T handled this has made B&T close that door shut, lock it, deadbolt it, put a door stopper on it, thrown some furniture in front of it.
I think if Cate had sent an email or text, once a quarter, here’s on update on the girls, then asked, what’s new with Carly.. and that’s it. Teresa, might have been more willing to talk with her. But Cate’s was bombarding Teresa with pictures and messages on a weekly and daily basis. Like just stop, no one wants that.
Carly is 15, if she wanted to reach out, she would. She wanted to have communication, she would. She doesn’t right now, or her parents don’t feel it’s in her best interest. They have had 15 years, of maybe once a year visits, if that, they can wait 3 more years, and then know without putting Carly in the middle of this weird internet feud with people who aren’t even engaging.
“Adoption isn’t all cupcakes and rainbows. It’s a lot of rain,” umm cate I don’t think that phrase has been said, ever…
“I was blocked all for speaking my feelings”… yes, because as an adult, we have to control what we SAY, no matter how we FEEL. It’s called *maturity*. Especially when kids are involved(cough cough amber) you have to be incredibly sensitive and careful when you speak about your negative feelings. Well now we know why cate defends amber lol